The Bare Necessities

by John David Harding

  “She told me that she was once happy and let herself get railroaded into doing something she didn't want to do. And I am not like that. She says if you love me, truly love me, you will support me.”

  Paul spluttered and banged his fist on the bench. “Your mother and I do love you which is why we don't want to see you throw your life away.”

  “But I am not. I am doing my own thing. You always said I was intelligent so just see that I have made a choice, and it is my choice. You can't change that.”

  Paul took a few deep breaths and groaned. “Well this is my choice,” he told him. “Unless you leave that band by this time next week I shall write you out of my will.” He gulped and downed the whisky, throwing the glass into the garden. “I will not tolerate this. This madness has gone on for long enough. I expect you at work a week on Monday.”

  Jack looked at him stunned. “But …”

  Paul shook his head. “And I will stop paying for anything I pay for. What? You think Lucinda will support you?”

  “I expect our music to support me.” Paul snorted. “I know what granddad did to Aunty Lucinda and I am not making the same mistake in giving in.”

  “Lucinda made a mistake and corrected it. I expect the same from you.”

  “I won't be giving in. This is my life.”

  “I am not joking,” Paul shouted. “The company is worth millions. If you want to walk away from your family fortune, go ahead. But I will not be relenting. My will, it will be changed. I do not want you getting involved with that Simmons girl.”

  Jack gulped and got up from the bench. “This conversation is over,” he told his father firmly and picked up the empty glass that lay abandoned on the grass. He took a deep breath. “And Paige and Claire are my friends. They will stay so. And one day, I hope Paige and I might be more than just friends so you better get used to it.” He turned and walked up the garden path with his father shouting angrily after him. “This conversation is over,” he repeated, and opened the back door and placed the empty glass on the table, before closing the door with a slam. “He told me what your father told you,” he said to his aunt. “I'll lose my inheritance.”

  “He did what?” Lucinda asked Jack.

  “He said that I need to cut ties in the next seven days or he will write me out of his will.”

  “The bastard,” Lucinda shouted and looked at her brother walking out of her garden.

  “Please don't tell Paige or Claire,” Jack begged. “It's my problem, not their's.”

  “I won't,” Lucinda promised and picked up the telephone with a smile. “Hello, is that the Police?” Lucinda asked. “Yes, I'd like to report a drink-driver. He has is just leaving my house in Purley and is driving to Barton Drive in Kingswood in a black BMW. Yes, he's all over the road.” She looked at the shocked teenager in front of her and shrugged as she put the phone down. “What? Two can be underhand.”

  “But, that's mean,” Jack told her, and Lucinda smiled.

  “Yeah, I know. Very unclassy. I think I learned that from my nephew.”

  * * * * *

  “Hey Claire,” Lucinda called and passed her a glass of wine. “You OK?”

  “Yeah,” Claire muttered morosely and Lucinda closed the door to her lounge.

  “Just that since you've moved in, you've been quiet. Everything OK?” Lucinda took a swig from her own glass of alcoholic beverage and then sighed. “I can see an unhappy teenager from a mile off.”

  “It's Mum,” Claire muttered. “Jack's father has made an allegation against her that he won't withdraw unless I stop Jack being in the band.”

  Lucinda groaned. “The twat,” she cried and shook her head. Claire sniffed and put her head in her hands, sobbing gently.

  “Mum says she will go to prison and it caused a fight between us, and I don't know what to do for the best. It's not fair and it's all my fault.”

  Lucinda hummed and her eyes focused on the television. “I'll sort,” she promised and picked up the telephone on the coffee table.

  “No, Lucinda. It's …”

  “It's nothing,” Lucinda replied. “Taunting Paul is one of my favourite hobbies at the moment. In between masturbation and drinking.”

  Claire blushed as she laughed involuntarily and Lucinda dialled her brother who answered abruptly. “Ahh, dear big brother,” the flamboyant aunt cried. “I have some news for you.” She waited for Paul to complain and then gleefully continued. “I just heard what you are doing to Teri Baynes, and I thought that it was so nasty, I had no alternative but to rush to the factory tomorrow morning. And I am going to be doing a proper clear-out and … pardon?”

  She rolled her eyes as Paul ranted and Claire held her breath. “What's that? I really don't like language like that. And yes I can keep making that threat because I don't mind doing it. I've done it before for six months and I will do it again.” She coughed and looked at Claire. “That's one offer, but what about the injury to feelings, lost wages and stress.” She laughed and blew air through her teeth. “Higher. And again. Come on Paul, make some effort. OK, let me check with my assistant.”

  Claire giggled as Lucinda put the phone to her shoulder and whispered to Claire. “He said he will withdraw the charges and pay your mother ten thousands pounds to settle the dispute.”

  Claire's face brightened and Lucinda cackled. “She says twelve and she will get me so drunk tonight I won't remember I got a fifty percent share in the factory for a week!” Lucinda giggled and sighed. “Excellent. I'll see you soon then, big brother. Make sure that cheque goes in the post tomorrow.” Lucinda nodded at Claire as she pressed a button on the phone and shrugged. “Easy really.”

  Claire leapt up from the chair and put her arms around the scheming woman. “Thank you. Thank you, so much.”

  “You're welcome,” Lucinda cried. “You should have just told me. I can't help you if you keep secrets.”

  “No,” Claire muttered. “Sorry. I just didn't want Jack to know.”

  “That was probably wise. But you need to keep your end of the bargain now. Jack and Paige are in their room watching a film and I have a dozen drinking games to play with someone.”

  Claire hummed and nodded. “Sure.”

  “Go ring your mother first and I'll set 'em up,” Lucinda cried. “And you can tell me about that belly button piercing you got. I want one,” she added. “And I don't think Jack will approve.”

  “No,” Claire murmured as she smiled. “And thanks. Really.”

  Lucinda blushed. “I'm sorry about my brother. He thinks he knows best, but he really doesn't. Jack takes after me, not his father, I'm glad to say.” She sighed and blinked. “Go on, ring your Mum and let's play some games. It's called Truth, Drink and Dare! It's brilliant. Last one to get a liver transplant is a sissy!”

  * * * * *

  “Paige,” Jack murmured warmly. “Paige, Paige. Oh for fucks sake, Paige. Wake up.” The naked girl stretched in the bed and slowly opened her eyes to see her bandmate holding a warm cup of tea and shaking her gently.

  “Ahhh,” Paige cried. “Aggghhhh, what her fuck do you want?”

  “Paige … wake up. Come downstairs. We are in the papers.”

  “We are always in the papers at the moment.” She wiped her eyes and looked across at the alarm clock. “And it's eight in the morning. I don't get up at eight in the morning.”

  “Paige, come downstairs. This isn't good.”

  Paige snorted and adjusted herself in the warm bed. “Be down in a minute.” She snarled at Jack as he left the room and looked up at the ceiling before grabbing her dressing gown and putting it over her shoulder.

  The half-naked Paige sauntered into the dining room where the worried faces of Claire, Lucinda and Jack looked back at her. “What's up?”

  Jack held out a double-page spread entitled “The Bare Necessities: The Naked Truth” and slid it across the table.

  “Since I've had world-famous megastars staying with me,” Lucinda said with a smile. “I've had all
the papers delivered. Greg and Andre thought it would be a good idea.”

  “When did you speak to Greg and Andre?” Jack asked as he turned to face her.

  “Yesterday. He said you three are an editor's wet dream. Three teenagers, all with great bodies performing naked, making popular music and getting into an argument with a Christian pressure group. It's got everything – nudity, talent, popularity and conflict. Plus the love interests. Ahh, they must reckon all their Christmases have come at once!”

  Paige squinted and sat down. “They have just done a piece about our backgrounds and families. What new stuff is there? And where the hell did they get that family picture from?”

  Jack shrugged. “It's journos ain't it.”

  Paige giggled. “They reckon we know each other through Lucinda's first marriage.” She looked up at their host, and she smirked. “Can't believe you didn't tell us about that.”

  “It's awkward,” the woman replied.

  “Twelve divorces, you should know how to handle exes by now,” Jack told her jokingly, but Paige interrupted the taunting.

  “Oh my God, Claire, were you really suspended for stabbing someone with a compass?”

  Claire muttered. “When I was eleven. And were you really arrested and cautioned for theft at thirteen?”

  Paige muttered. “Well, yes, sort of.” Her eyes continued to read the page, and there was a noise at the door. Lucinda left the room as Paige smiled. “Oh my God, my brother actually is gay. Listen to this,” she said. “It is a common knowledge that Jeremy Simmons, fourteen year-old brother of Paige is gay and currently has a boyfriend in school friend Liam. Although Paige claimed he wasn't at the start of one of her concerts, it is clear that she knew and was trying to protect him.” Paige looked up and tapped the table. “How can it be common knowledge when his own sister didn't even know?”

  Claire shrugged. “Maybe … maybe it was your announcement at trying to get back at the attackers that was the clue.”

  “Yes, thank you.” Paige snapped. “I know I may have arsed that one up, but how the hell didn't I know. And why didn't I know that my mother and father both had failed marriages. Or that …”

  “Guys,” Lucinda called as she came into the dining room. “You have half of Fleet Street in my drive. They sort of want a statement.”

  “About this?” Paige asked and pointed at the paper. “What the hell do they want me to say? Can I say what I want, 'cause I got a few things to say?”

  “We should ask Andre.”

  “We don't need Andre,” Paige spat as Claire's phone vibrated. “Let me guess, our agent?”

  “Yes,” Claire muttered and Paige shook her head.

  “Why does he always ring you? There are three of us.”

  “Well you don't listen to him,” Claire snapped as she answered her telephone.

  “He doesn't listen to me,” Paige muttered as their doorbell rang for the second time. Lucinda moved towards the dining room door, but Paige stopped her.

  “It's me they want to see,” she explained. “Let's give them what they want.”

  “Paige, do you want to get dressed first?”

  “No,” Paige shrugged. “I got an image to maintain.” She smiled and pushed her hair back. “Everyone has seen me naked, it's a bit late to be getting all modest.” Jack, dressed in his jeans and T-shirts, held out his hand as Paige tied her dressing gown. The doorbell rang again and the man hammered on the door. “Fuck off!” Paige yelled down the hall.

  She gave Jack a kiss on the cheek as she approached the door. “Don't say something stupid,” Jack told her and they saw Claire come up behind them.

  “Andre says you are going to be arrested if …”

  “Oh don't be so silly,” Paige shouted. “I'm on private land. And I've tied my dressing gown. Honestly, you fret …”

  She opened the front door to a battery of a bright lights and flashes. She squinted and shielded her eyes as a hand touched her hand. She pushed it away, and tried to focus.

  At the end of the drive were dozens of photographers and journalists. “Paige Simmons, I am arresting you …”

  “I am on private land,” Paige shouted.

  The Police officer grabbed Paige's arms and forced them behind her back, pulling her dressing gown open at the front and back into her shoulders. A pair of handcuffs were slapped around her wrists. “Oi, you fucking fascist. I am on private land. Get the fuck off me!”

  “I am arresting you on suspicion of offences under Section Five of the Public Order Act. It may harm your defence if …”

  “I fucking heard it,” Paige interrupted. “This is a disgrace.”

  “Get her to the station,” the Police officer said firmly and Paige was led away, half-naked, past the photographers to a waiting Police van.

  “I bloody told her,” Claire shouted. “If she opens the door she will be arrested. Police told Andre. It's in response to the complaint Christian Outrage made.”

  “They paraded her past the hacks,” Lucinda said. “They did that to humiliate her.”

  “I'll speak to Andre,” Claire announced and picked up her phone. “And we need to get to the Police station. I'll tell him, we'll meet him there and …”

  But Jack didn't listen and just snatched Claire's phone. “Andre …”

  Chapter XXII

  “Andre,” Jack cried as he snatched the phone from Claire. “They've arrested her.”

  “I know,” the smooth-talking agent told him. “They told me, they were going to do that.”

  “But why? And why just Paige.”

  Jack heard Andre take a deep breath. “The complaint was against Paige,” the young agent replied wearily. “No-one made a complaint against Claire and you. And anyway, it was Paige that stripped and told you two to do so. She's the ringleader.”

  “But …”

  “Listen Jack,” Andre interrupted. “I know what you are going to say. It's not fair, and I agree. But the Police have had a complaint, and they have to investigate. And when they do, if there is a reasonable possibility that a crime has been committed they have to interview. And Paige admitted she had been told not to strip and did so, so you can't blame them.”

  “I can blame them for how they did it!” Jack cried. “They arrested her in an open dressing gown and paraded her in front of the cameras of the press. And how the fuck did the press know that she was going to get arrested today?”

  “I don't know,” Andre admitted to him. “You know there are leaks to the press from the Police. There are back handers a plenty. I certainly didn't tell them.”

  “Yeah, I guessed that. You are always trying to get us out of trouble.” Jack sighed and tapped the bottom step of the stairs with his foot as he thought. “I need to get down to the station.”

  “No, Jack. There is a lawyer en-route to the Police station. I shall get some clothes sent down as well.” Jack snorted. “Just stay there until I get the word with what's happening. You turning up will just turn it into a media scrum.”

  “But …”

  “Listen, Jack. Christian Outrage have only made the complaint to further their own agenda. You drawing more attention to the arrest is going to play right into their hands. Don't do it.” Andre waited for Jack to hum. “But when you see her, we do need to meet up. I got some news for you all, and I need to talk about accountants and stuff.”

  “Yeah I know what Christian Outrage want,” Jack snapped and sighed. He looked at Claire and passed the phone to her. “I'm going to have a shower. And then I'm going to the Police Station. Don't care what Andre says.”

  Claire shook her head and put the phone to her ear. “Andre says he heard that,” she called out to him walking up the stairs.

  “Good. I'm not leaving Paige on her own. And he really can't expect me to.”

  * * * * *

  Paige signed the autograph for the custody Sergeant with a smile. “I'll go out the front,” she stated to him. “I've not got anything to be ashamed of.”

&nbs
p; “We can let you go out the back,” he announced. “S'only fair.” Paige shook her head. “We'd prefer it, actually.”

  “I've got a few things to say.”

  “That's why we'd prefer it,” the Police officer joked.

  “We haven't agreed a statement,” her lawyer reminded her. “I have said that …”

  “I know,” Paige interrupted. “But I got a few things to say that you will not approve of.” Paige shook the hand of her lawyer and moved towards the doors of the Police station. “Cheers,” she said. “I'll see you tomorrow.”

  “I'd strongly advise against …”

  “I am sure you would. But I have a life to lead. I will see you tomorrow. Maybe at a different Police station. Maybe this one. Who knows? Perhaps we could write a book about all the cop shops in Britain. I'd certainly give this one the full five Police truncheons!”

  He gave a grin. “You should stop getting into trouble then, Miss Simmons.” Paige shrugged.

  “Sorry. I'm from South London. It's in my DNA.” She gave a girlish laugh. “And anyway, you can't bitch 'bout it. How much ya earning?” He didn't respond, and the gaggle of photographers grew louder as Paige approached the door. She could see journalists dozens of rows deep and a plethora of cameras. “Am I really that interesting?”

  “You're big news,” she was told and slowly opened the towering glass doors to the Police station. Flashes of powerful bright white lights erupted into her eyes, and she bowed her head as she walked onto the steps.

  “Paige, have you been charged?”

  “What's happening with Jack?”

  “Is this the end of the Bare Necessities?”

  “Have you got a message for Christian Outrage?”

  Paige raised her hands and patted the air to indicate she wanted silence. The cacophony ceased instantly and she had a dozen microphones thrust towards her.

  “I would like to make a quick statement,” she said forcefully and exhaled sharply. “As you know I was nicked this morning after a bunch of religious nutters made a complaint that I was naked at Wembley a couple of days ago. I have been interviewed and have been bailed pending enquiries. I have been advised not to comment further, and apart from saying that Christian Outrage are a bunch of intolerant bastards and the Police are a bunch of fascists who forced me to be naked in public when they arrested me, I shall say no more.”