by B. B. Hamel
“Erin, you selfish little asshole, come sit down and talk to me right now before I rip off your fake eyelashes and shove them down your throat.”
Kaspar grinned happily and waved as he walked off.
Erin glared at me. She didn’t move at first, then slowly drifted to the bench and sat. I lowered myself back down onto the bench and folded my hands in front of me, mostly to keep from trying to strangle my insane sister.
She seemed more annoyed than ashamed—though she had a lot to answer for.
“Why are you doing this?” I asked, meeting her gaze. It wasn’t easy. Erin’s stare was like a wildfire, liable to burn whatever didn’t get out of its way.
“I have my reasons.”
“Share them with me.”
“You’d only become resentful.” A little sneer. I hated when she did that. Erin was smart—insanely smart. But she was still my sister.
“I know you’re jealous of Darren. You think you should run the family, even though he’s older.”
“I’m better suited.” Bitterness dripped from her lips.
“Maybe you were, but do you think you’re stable enough to control an entire Oligarch family? Based on the way you’ve been behaving, I suspect not.” I glanced at Chika. She seemed interested, but remained standing a respectful distance away.
“Are you going to waste this opportunity by insulting me, Pen? If that’s all you have to say, I’ll get up and go now.”
“Wait.” I sucked in a breath. “Kaspar really does want to kill Maeve. What’s his game?”
Erin seemed amused. “So now you want to play?”
“I don’t have much of a choice.”
“Maeve’s one of the strongest Oligarchs. I suspect Kaspar wants to get her out of the way before he starts consolidating his power.”
“It’s more than that. He gets angry when she’s mentioned. It’s like this is personal.” I frowned down at my fingers, thinking back to Blackwoods—to Kaspar’s fingers in my hair, to his lips on my throat, to his arms drenched in blood.
“If it is, he hasn’t told me, and despite what you might think, I don’t know everything.”
“You should start acting like you don’t then.”
Erin snorted and shook her head. “You’ve always been this way, Pen. You hate your circumstances, so instead of changing them, you complain.”
“Kaspar’s keeping me as a prisoner until I marry him. Explain to me what I’m supposed to do.”
“Something. Anything. I don’t care. You were useful to me, and now you’re not. What else can I say?”
“You’re my sister. I want to come home.”
But Erin didn’t react. She only flattened her lips and leaned back, preparing to stand. Appealing to her sense of family loyalty wouldn’t get me anywhere—apparently, she had none. I doubted she cared much about me at all, aside from my value as a tool, and only cold logic would sway her.
Except I had none of that. Only emotions, deep and flawed and flowing, threatening to spill over. I remembered Erin stealing my toys as a little girl for no other reason than to see how I’d react. I remembered her sneaking me alcohol, and when I was good and drunk, telling Mother on me. I remembered a thousand little insults and slights, over and over again, for years and years, and it wasn’t until right now that I truly accepted that Erin didn’t love me, and might not have been capable of feeling something remotely like that.
She stood up.
“Good luck with Kaspar. If it makes you feel any better, he’s a good match. You could do much worse.”
“You marry him then.”
“That wouldn’t get me anywhere.”
“Do you really think Darren’s going to let you get away with this? He’s already trying to get me back.”
“And he’ll keep failing, because I’ll make sure to tip off Kaspar before his men can arrive. There have been more than a few attempts that you’re not even aware of.”
I felt the ground open up and swallow me whole. Darren would never rescue me, because Erin wouldn’t let him. God, what a nightmare.
“It still doesn’t help you. Chika might be on your side, but she’s only one person.”
Erin’s laugh was light. “Goodbye, Penny. Good luck.” She walked back toward the SUV, shaking her head.
I let her go. It wouldn’t help, trying to convince her to give a damn about me. Erin had made up her mind a long time ago that I was another toy for her to play with then break at her leisure, and she made sport of shattering me over and over again. I didn’t know why I thought I could reach her.
Kaspar returned and sat down next to me. His thigh touched mine.
“Did you work things out?”
“All I’ve worked out is that she’s a psychopath. Why are you dealing with her?”
“Maybe psychopaths are attracted to each other.” He smiled at me and shook his head. “I’m kidding. Erin got me to you, and that’s all I cared about. She’s nothing to me now.”
“Then why this stupid meeting? Why bring her here?”
“You needed to understand what she is if you’re going to let her go.”
I gaped at him. “This was about showing me that she doesn’t give a shit about me. You’re both twisted.”
“We are, except I care about you, Penny, and your sister does not.”
“You’re insane.”
“A little bit, yes, I suppose I am.”
“Take me back.” I stared at the table. I felt dizzy and sick. “I want to go back.”
“Then we’ll go.” He leaned closer. “But don’t feel so down. Erin can’t help what she is.”
“She’s my sister. She’s supposed to love me.”
“And she doesn’t. But I do.”
“You keep saying that.”
“And it keeps being true.” He patted my leg and stood. “For what it’s worth, I am sorry your family is such a nightmare. Your brother wants to save you, at least.”
I followed him back to the ATVs numbly and rode back. This time, I felt nothing but bitter and weak, drained and bleached dry.
14
Penny
Present Day
Somewhere in the Midwest
It was time to escape.
My meeting with Erin made my plan feel more desperate. I couldn’t sit around and wait for Cards to finally decide to make the first move—I had to push this forward and take the risk.
I waited a couple of days. Kaspar wasn’t around much and I was kept on the farm’s grounds. If I went outside, guards followed. The bathroom was the only place I had any real privacy, and even that was tenuous. If I showered for too long, someone would knock and make me answer, or threaten to break down the door.
Around eight that night, my chance appeared. Cards was left alone with me on the back porch. The sun had set a little while earlier, and the outside lights gave the surrounding fields a strange, orange glow. Two drones hovered in the air, their engines like the sound of a hundred dragonflies fluttering in the breeze.
I sat on a rocking chair near the railing. Cards stood back next to the door.
“Did you think more about my proposal?” I didn’t look at him. I didn’t indicate that I’d spoken at all, just in case the drones were watching.
Cards was silent for a minute. I let him take his time in answering.
“Do you know what Kaspar would do to me if I turned?” He was quiet, but I guessed there were no recording devices nearby if he was willing to respond at all.
I felt a flutter in my guts. “He won’t get the chance. If my sister was able to drive here for a meeting, that means we’re close to my home. If you can get me to the Servant Manor, my brother will reward you. I’ll make sure of it.”
Cards let out a long sigh. “Assuming you’re right about that, how do I know you’re not fucking with me?”
“I want to get the hell out of here. I’d feel extremely grateful to the man that was able to make that happen for me.”
Another silence. I let it sink i
n and tried not to jostle and show my agitation. I was so close—I could hear it in his voice. He needed money, and I was his best shot at getting a huge payday. Of course, he’d have to give up his life to do it, but what life did he have here?
From what I could tell, the guards did nothing but work. Their whole existence was dedicated to their boss, and there were no breaks, no weekends, no off days at all.
No families, no money, no life. No freedom.
Stuck, like me.
“Be ready at midnight.”
I tilted my head, heart racing, not sure I’d heard right. “Midnight?”
“Be ready. Don’t talk again. Drones are nearby.”
I nodded as if to myself and went back to staring out at the field.
Midnight. Midnight. The hour of my escape.
He was going to do it.
Really save me.
But when I got back home, what was I going to do?
I closed my eyes and pictured it. Darren would be happy, I had no doubt about that. He’d want to lock me up in a different kind of cage, one for my own protection, but I’d deal with that problem when I got to it. Erin would be livid, but I’d make sure Darren understood she was the one behind what happened to me as much as Kaspar was.
I’d reward Cards, of course. And I’d make sure he was sent away, considering we couldn’t ever trust him.
I had some of the Oligarch in me after all.
That night, I ate dinner alone downstairs, then went to bed early. I packed a small bag with just enough for a day or two at most, but I suspected it wouldn’t matter. I lay in bed tossing and turning, afraid of falling asleep, but also completely unable. Hours passed, and soon midnight rolled around.
I sat up, staring at the wall, waiting.
A soft knock at the door.
I wanted to scream. Instead, I stood and opened it as quietly as I could.
Cards stared at me. He wore all black and had a pack over his shoulders. He held a finger to his lips and gestured with his head.
I followed him into the hall.
I wasn’t built for this sort of thing. Cards moved quietly, like a stalking cat, despite his size. I was clumsy by comparison. The floorboards creaked where I stepped and he looked like he wanted to throw me out a window. We went down the back staircase and entered the black kitchen, not turning on any lights. I stayed as close to him as I could, afraid he’d leave me behind.
Which was absurd. I was his golden ticket.
We reached the back door. He opened it, looked outside, and gestured for me to follow.
I stepped out into the night.
Freedom.
A car was parked up ahead. Cards angled toward it.
I never actually thought this would work. When I set my plan in motion, I figured it was a long shot at best.
I should’ve been more skeptical.
But I was excited. I could taste home, feel my bed, hear the sounds of the familiar house. I was already thinking about taking a long, hot shower, and never hearing the name Kaspar again.
As we stepped into the open space between the house and the car, lights turned on.
Bright lights. White, phosphorescent, like the sun in miniature. I covered my eyes in confusion. “What’s happening?”
I couldn’t see Cards. I blinked against the sudden onslaught and felt around for something, anything—
Until a hand grabbed my wrist.
I yelped in surprise. The lights turned down from an impossible explosive brightness to a more manageable shine.
Kaspar stood in front of me, grinning.
Cards leaned against the car, looking at his fingernails, and winked.
“Did you really think you could get away?”
Laughter. His guards, standing on the porch.
I stared at them then glared at Cards.
He did this on purpose.
He wanted to humiliate me.
“Why are you so intent on escaping, little treasure? Haven’t I been good to you?” Kaspar’s voice crooned, lilting and attractive. I wanted to punch him in the trachea.
“You’re a monster.”
“So I’m told.”
“You did this to mess with me.”
“Yes, I did. And to show my men that loyalty is rewarded.” He looked back at Cards, smiling broadly. “How are those debts, Michaels?”
“Gone, thanks to you, boss.”
Kaspar leaned closer to me. “You shouldn’t have done this. Now I have a good excuse to punish you.”
I gasped in surprise and pain as he pulled me toward the house. My cheeks blazed red with shame as Kaspar’s guards leered at me from the porch. We went in the back door, through the quiet kitchen, and up the staircase to my room, and Kaspar shut the door.
Alone again. Away from the leering, mocking gazes.
“You’re sick,” I said, turning on him. “You pretend like you care about me, then you do something like this.”
“Stop talking.” He approached, a hungry lion.
I backed up into the bed. “Stay away.”
He dropped to his knees. I blinked at him, surprised, as he touched my thighs tenderly. His fingers caressed my jeans down to my knees, then pushed my legs apart and pulled me to the edge of the mattress, wrapping his big arms around me, and pressing his head against my chest.
I stared down at him, not sure what to do.
“You remember that night, don’t you?” He spoke a soft murmur. “How good it felt to finally open yourself to me.” He looked up, met my eyes. “Do you think I want to hurt you?”
“I think you get off on it.”
“Only because you enjoy it.”
“Not this. I didn’t enjoy this.”
He sighed and nodded. “I know you didn’t. This was for my men as much as it was for you. The thing is, they like you, and I’m afraid they’ll let you leave. This was to show them that attempting something like that is futile. I can be benevolent as well as deadly.”
“You’re not endearing yourself to me. I don’t like being used in your games.”
His right hand moved up my spine to my hair and grabbed it tight. I gasped, tried to pull back, but he held tight. His left moved down to cup my ass, pulling me tighter against him.
His lips, inches from my own.
“I understand I hurt you, love. But please accept my sincerest apologies.”
“Go to hell.”
He bit my lip. I gasped in surprise, tried to bite him back, and he laughed, pulling away. “One day, maybe. But first, I’ll live in heaven.” He pulled my hair hard then kissed my neck. I groaned and struggled, pushing at him, but not getting any leverage.
His lips moved up to meet my own.
I returned his kiss. Desperation, confused and swirling, rocked through my body. God, yes, I remembered that night—I couldn’t forget it. His fingers, his lips, the way he made me come—
I hated him for it. I still did.
His kiss invaded me. It twisted my hate into something darker and filthy. It lodged between my legs, soaking and needy. I wanted him to spread me wide. I wanted him to fuck me into quiet submission. I wanted to scream wordless pleasure into the pillows as he ruined me.
His fingers deftly unbuttoned my jeans and he pulled them off.
I tried to slap him. I hated him as much as wanted him. He caught my wrist, smiling, and pinned it to my side as he kissed my inner thigh.
“This doesn’t change anything,” I said, stifling a moan as his tongue got closer to my soaking, warm pussy. I felt a ringing pulse there, keening for him. “You can do this to me, but I still won’t love you.”
“Right now, I don’t need your love. Only your moans and your taste. You pretend like you’re fighting, but if you wanted this to stop, you could make it stop.”
He was right. God, another reason to hate him, but he was right. If I really wanted to fight him off, I could. He’d back down. Kaspar was a monster, a killer, and a psychopath, but he always made me feel something I never thought
possible.
Lust, blood, hate, desire. It all swirled as he pushed my panties aside and tongued me top to bottom.
I grabbed his hair. I wanted it to hurt as I pulled. He grunted and sucked my clit, digging his fingers into my ass. I gasped, arched my back.
He ripped my panties. Tore them like paper. He tossed them aside and attacked, licking and sucking, hungry and crazed. I released his hair and leaned back on my elbows, panting, moaning, losing my freaking mind.
Pleasure whirlpooled around and around as Kaspar’s fingers spread me and fucked me, as his tongue licked me and sucked me, and I wanted him to keep going as much as I wanted him to jump off the roof.
I was confused and hated myself for it.
But the longer he did his work, the clearer things became.
Pleasure had a way of erasing doubt. Pleasure could do that. He took me away from myself, ripped me from my life, from my body, and left me floating in an impossible swamp of pure carnal lust and heat and moans. His tongue was a lash, his fingers a piston, and I wanted them both, all the pain and the incredible pleasure, all of it.
“I need to hear you come,” he whispered as his fingers slid in and out. “I want you to whisper my name while I suck your clit and lick you in circles. Your taste makes me want to give up on life and do nothing but pleasure your pussy, my lovely little cunt. You look at me like you can’t decide between smothering me and fucking me, and I love that about you.”
“I want it both,” I said, arching my back with a gasp. “I hate you and I want to ride your cock until I scream.”
“It’s that contradiction you love.”
“No, you fucking asshole. It’s your tongue and fingers. What you can do with them. God, damn it, Kaspar.”
“It’s the space between hate and love, lust and fear. When you’re right in the center, everything’s possible. That’s where I want you to live, Penny.” He leaned closer, sinking his fingers deeper, and kissed me, biting my lip again. I tasted my pussy on his tongue.
“Stop talking and make me come, you bastard.”
He dropped between my legs and gave me what I wanted.
In bursts of fingers and lips and tongue. He licked and sucked and fucked. He whispered sweet, horrible, beautiful, filthy nothings, and I came on his mouth, that dirty mouth, that piece of shit monster, I hated him, hated him, god, hated him, and wanted him so badly it hurt. I wanted him to fuck me, to hold me down and get me off, over and over again. I wanted his worship, the way he watched me like I was the most fascinating thing in the world. I loved the attention, the adoration. He made me glow.