by B. B. Hamel
I was flat and dull before him.
Now I was a princess, his queen. His lust and obsession.
He was a monster. I liked it.
The orgasm passed and left me lying on my back, gasping for air. He kissed me, made me lick my own pussy from his lips, and whispered in my ear, “You taste like heaven, my love. Stay right in that space. Keep on hating me, but keep on thinking about what I can make you feel.”
Then he left. The door shut, and I was alone.
I curled up into a ball and pulled the covers over my half-naked body. I pulsed, my legs twitching slightly. I felt drunk and drained.
All from that man’s fingers and lips.
What else could he do, if I let him?
How much more did he have to give me?
The undying reverence.
The way he venerated me.
His ardor was a deep-sea chasm spewing molten rock.
I wanted to be destroyed by it.
15
Alice
Eight Years Ago
Blackwoods College
Penny stretched her legs and tilted her face up toward the sunshine. It was a rare sunny winter afternoon and though the ground was frozen, she insisted on sitting in the grass. “I miss nature,” she explained, which made no sense, because nature was literally everywhere.
But whatever. I had time to kill between classes and Penny was easy to be around. She smiled at me in that way she had—disarming and easygoing, like nothing bad could touch her.
I hated that confidence.
Life had always been easy for her. She didn’t know suffering; she didn’t understand hate and neglect. She existed in her little ivory tower, in her gilded mansion, with her perfect family, enjoying the fruits of their collective power and hoarding as much money and as many resources as possible, while the rest of us scrambled and fought like savages for a modicum of her comfort.
I despised what she represented.
We’re supposed to think the ability to accumulate money equates with intelligence. The smartest, best people are those that get rich. We live in a meritocracy: the best rise while the worst fall.
Success is a marker of virtue.
That was always bullshit.
Penny didn’t have money because she was a decent human. She had money because she was born into it. So many people were given everything at birth, and to pretend like we lived in an equal society was madness.
I was given nothing. I was born to nothing, and the only reason I had any opportunity at all was because of Maeve. I lucked into her—and I’d never forget that.
I hated Penny. And I loved her.
She was sweet, thoughtful, funny, kind, beautiful, and, yes, she was smart, too. Despite the million reasons to hate her stupid privileged guts, I found myself enjoying her company.
I began to think of her as a friend.
Her phone rang. It was always ringing. She ignored it, face tilted upwards. She almost glowed.
“Why don’t you answer for once?”
“It’s just Kaspar. I’m not interested.”
I looked down at my nails. The grass was frozen solid to my ass. “Have you considered maybe going out with him?”
She glanced at me, frowning a little. “You keep calling him a psycho stalker. Now you think I should give him a chance. That’s a pretty big change of heart.”
“At this point, I almost want to reward the guy’s persistence.”
“I don’t. If I give him what he wants, it’ll only reinforce this behavior.”
“He’s not a puppy dog.”
“I don’t know. What’s so different between dogs and men?”
I snorted and waved that off. “Come on, be serious. Kaspar’s hot as fuck. He’s popular, athletic, rich. I bet your family would love it if you had his stupid little babies. Why not just go on a single date and get it over with? Then at least you can say you tried.”
She sighed and sat up straight, folding her legs in crisscross and placed her hands in her lap. She could be so prim sometimes. I felt like a slouching caveman in her presence.
“Do you really think Kaspar would accept a single date?”
“Ask him.”
“Be serious.”
“I am. Ask him. Answer his next call and tell him you’ll give him a single date, and if he doesn’t change your mind, then it’s finished. Make him agree.”
She thought it over. My heart raced. I hated my own stinking guts in that moment for being such a manipulative freak—
But Kaspar might know something. He definitely suspected. If I could win some of his good will for long enough to do my job and get the hell out of here, then I needed to take any risk necessary. Convincing Penny to go out with him might be enough to hold his tongue for a few more weeks.
Until I finally decided what in the world I wanted for myself.
“All right, if you really think that’s a good idea.” She seemed uncertain. God, she was so pretty sometimes. The way she chewed her lip, the way she looked at me with that mix of adoration and naked trust. I didn’t know why she listened to a word I said, but she did, and it was intoxicating.
To have someone like her care about me felt like fresh rain after a long drought.
“Give it a shot. It can’t hurt to try.”
As if on cue, her phone rang again. This time she picked it up, stared at the screen, then accepted the call.
“Hello, Kaspar.” She squinted down then put the phone on speaker.
“—glad you took my call. I’ve been thinking about you.”
“I’ve been thinking too. I want to make a deal.”
“A deal?” He sounded amused. “I’m listening.”
“I propose a trade of sorts. I’ll give you a single date, and in return, you swear that you’ll leave me alone if I decide to never see you again.”
He was silent. Penny rolled her eyes. She thought this was a game.
There was nothing fun about a man like Kaspar. He’d rip her to shreds if that was what he wanted. He was a dangerous wolf, domesticated now, but liable to go feral at any moment. She was playing with a killer, and she had no clue.
“I can accept that,” he said softly. “But I plan the date, and you go along with whatever.”
“Within reason and on campus.”
“Okay, you have a deal.”
“If I say it’s over and we’re not seeing each other again, you’ll leave me alone? You’ll really walk away?”
“I’m a man of my word, Penny.”
“All right then. I’ll go out with you.”
“Friday. I’ll meet you outside of your dorm at six. Plan on staying out late.”
She smiled, genuine and real. “Not too late. Alice wants me home by eleven.”
“Does Alice have a hand in this?”
“It might’ve been her idea.”
“Thank her for me then.”
I shivered and looked away, unable to meet her raised eyebrows.
“I’ll see you Friday.” Penny hung up and tossed the phone into her bag. “That wasn’t so bad.”
“Now all you have to do is go out with the guy.”
“Right, totally. One night of my life. How bad can it be?”
Three days later, Kaspar met Penny outside of our dorm and steered her away toward the middle of campus.
I lingered nearby. I told Penny I had a late-night study thing and promised to be home to decompress with her later. She was nervous—she spent over an hour getting ready, trying on clothes, doing her makeup, changing her mind. In the end, she went with a simple sweater and jeans combination that somehow made her look like a goddess.
I followed from a distance. I couldn’t get too close. Kaspar would spot me too easily, but I couldn’t let them go through this alone.
Not that I was worried Kaspar would say or do something—but more that I had to ensure everything went wrong.
This was only an acceptable situation so long as it didn’t continue. I was banking on Penny not be
ing interested in him long-term, but if he happened to win her over then things might get more complicated.
So I stalked them. He took her to a food truck on the far side of campus. They took their Styrofoam-encased meals along a winding path that led to a small grassy spot tucked into the curve of the science building. I peered at them through bushes, getting dirt and bird shit on my jeans, and cursing this whole thing.
He had a fucking picnic set up. At night, in winter.
There were several large kerosene heaters. They glowed orange-red above a heavy, cozy-looking blanket strewn with pillows. Penny laughed when she saw it, but settled down next to him and began to eat, apparently comfortable and happy.
They talked the whole time. Kaspar was intent and stared at her like he wanted to absorb all of her details. Penny was a bit more distant—but she smiled a lot and as they finished eating, she leaned in closer to him, listening to some story that made her cover her mouth and chortle.
My legs and shoulders hurt from staying crammed into the damn brush and I was very, very happy when Kaspar stood and led Penny away from his little meeting place.
I followed them. I didn’t want to see who showed up to clean the mess. I figured he had minions for that.
Next stop was a frozen yogurt place. It was technically off campus, but since it was only across the street, Penny didn’t seem to mind. I ducked into the coffee place next door and watched from the window. They walked slowly down the block, eating, and talking some more.
It was just after ten when Kaspar took her back to campus. They angled toward the dorms and my knees were trembling. I crouched beside a parked car as Kaspar walked Penny to the door and stopped there.
Ten thirty. Nice and early.
He said something. She laughed, touched his chest. He grinned at her. Charming bastard. She tilted her head.
He leaned down and kissed her.
She didn’t pull away.
It was a short kiss. Chaste, almost. They made a good couple: he was tall, strapping, a Nordic-freaking-prince. She was small and pretty with an incredible body. I envied her every time she got changed and I caught a glimpse of her breasts, ass, and flat stomach. When they broke apart, my teeth were chattering.
Penny went inside. Kaspar turned away, and his smile faded as he walked toward the street.
And came directly to me.
He knew I was there. I shrank back into the shadows, but it was clear. He stared right at the car I was hiding behind and stood there, waiting, arms crossed over his chest. I cursed him, cursed myself, then stood and walked out with some small bit of dignity.
“Your knees are dirty and you have a dry leaf in your hair.”
I swatted at my head. There was nothing. “You asshole.”
“You followed us.”
“Of course I did.”
“You did a bad job.”
I clenched my jaw. “Says you.”
“How do you think that went?” He came closer, lips tugged up into a vicious smirk. “Think she’s into me?”
“I think she’ll see the light once she debriefs with her closest friend on campus.”
He laughed then and it seemed almost genuine, but I could never tell with him. “You know what I don’t get? You set this up. You made it happen. What were you thinking?”
“I was thinking you’d blow it.”
“You clearly don’t know me then.”
“Clearly I don’t.” I leaned in and put my face inches from his. “And you don’t know me, either.”
“Oh, I think I might, Alice.” He pushed me away gently and stepped past, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Tell Penny she tastes like bubblegum and mint, and I plan on licking her cunt and spanking her ass until she screams my name.”
I felt a thrill of excitement. “You’re fucked up, you know that, right?”
“I know what I am.” He hesitated, looked over his shoulder. “I can’t tell if you want to fuck her too, or if you want to murder her. Either way, be careful.”
He walked off. I watched him go, trembling.
I hated him. Despised him.
He saw through my mask too easily.
I felt barren, naked.
And he was right.
Sometimes, all I could think about was my mission. Penny had to die. Maeve ordered it, and I owed Maeve everything. I’d cut the prissy little bitch’s throat and leave her corpse in the middle of the street.
But then I spent the morning in bed with her, looking at Instagram, talking about classmates, laughing and enjoying each other. I’d feel a strange, sick yearning every time she touched my skin, every time she adjusted her body.
Kaspar was right. I did want to fuck her.
I wanted to slide my fingers deep into Penny’s tight pussy until she moaned with ecstasy.
Which would never happen. Penny wasn’t into girls—and I didn’t know I was until recently.
I didn’t know I was into anything at all.
College was messing me up. Too many options, too much freedom. I didn’t want to decide who I was and what I wanted—I needed Maeve to give me that.
Penny had to die. She had to die.
I’d never get what I wanted from her.
Better to go through with my mission and leave her pretty corpse behind than to spend another day pining for her soft lips.
Penny had to die.
16
Kaspar
Present Day
Somewhere in the Midwest
Redmond showed up with an entourage. Six SUVs parked in front of my house and disgorged multiple well-armed men that began to swarm around the property, checking corners, hustling my guards.
I was still buzzing from my experience with Penny two days prior. Her taste lingered on my tongue, and though that punishment was only the first step in a long journey toward taking her again, it was a necessary one.
I proved two things that night. First, there was no escape, not until I said she could leave.
And second, she wanted me.
Her desire was tinged with hate like white paint with drips of red. That disgust intensified her need for my body, and as soon as I touched her and gave her that first jolt of pleasure, I knew I had her.
I felt it oozing from her skin, glowing like a radioactive isotope under a black light. All that intense anger and all that deep, dark lust mingled into something beautiful and explosive, and I wanted it again, needed it again—but I had to wait.
I couldn’t rush this.
Redmond came out of the last car. He looked around, grinning like he was pleased with himself. I stood near Michaels, my most loyal and trusted guard. The old mercenary chewed on bubblegum and glared at the Orchard men.
“We should squash ‘em,” he said. “Get it over with.”
“Not yet. But soon.” I clapped him on the shoulder. Touch was important. It built rapport.
Despite what Penny clearly thought, I didn’t have my men’s loyalty because of money.
They believed in me because I gave them every reason to.
“Should I start making plans?”
“You should always be making plans.”
He grunted and grinned at me. “Like my plan to trap your girl?”
“That was one of your best yet. Devious and wicked.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“Now, go make sure the other men don’t start killing Redmond’s crew. That won’t be good for business.”
He nodded and sauntered off. He didn’t look like much, but Michaels was a dangerous man and very clever. I kept him close.
I stalked out and shook Redmond’s hand. His grip was crushing, like he wanted to bruise me.
His father never would’ve come to my home with such an ostentatious show of force, but Redmond wasn’t his father.
“It’s good of you to come,” I said, smiling, gripping him back enough to let him know that I didn’t care at all about his childish power games.
“We need to discuss strategy. I promised I’
d help with Maeve, and that’s what I plan on doing.”
“Then let’s take a walk.”
He barked a laugh. “Walk? Where the hell would we go? We’re in the middle of nowhere.”
“The fields are beautiful this time of day.” I didn’t bother to wait for him. I headed toward the corn, and a moment later, he hurried to catch up.
Redmond was insecure. He needed to prove to his men that he was strong and capable in order to make sure they followed him into a real fight, but he was overdoing it. A smart Oligarch would never venture anywhere alone with me.
“Where are we going? This stuff’s actually real. I can’t believe it.” He shoved through the stalks.
“You thought I had fake corn?”
“I thought this was all some elaborate trap.”
“Corn’s a good crop. Brings in a nice little income and keeps this place self-sufficient.”
“You’re a goddamn farmer. I thought you were an Oligarch.”
“I’m more than either of those things” I shoved through into a small clearing set out in the center of the field. It was invisible except to the drones that hovered above. They were my creatures, and I made sure that no others could get into my airspace. My men had gotten pretty good at chasing down enemy craft and smashing them to pieces.
A fire pit sat in the center of the barren space. Several chairs were spaced around it. I gestured for Redmond to join me.
He shook his head, bewildered. “Is this some weird little hangout you made for yourself?”
“It’s private. Now sit down.”
He still hesitated, sensing a trap. Maybe he wasn’t so stupid. After another moment, he took the chair across from me, leaning forward on the balls of his feet like he might spring up.
I leaned back, lounging.