Mixing Up Murder

by Emmie Lyn

  She sank back into the cushions with a look of dejection that I figured came with the territory if you’re going to be involved with randy Ray. “Yeah, I know that,” she said. “But still. It just seems like such a creepy thing to do. You know, lie in a casket? What if someone accidentally closed the lid?” She shuddered. “And what about his family? Everyone was in on it?”

  “It sure looks that way, Lil. You know his mother.” I tipped my head back so my nose stuck up in the air. “Appearances are everything to her. Plus, she probably couldn’t stand the idea that you had the nerve to file for divorce. In her world, it would only work if it had been Ray’s idea.”

  I strutted around the room with my nose up in the air imitating her mother-in-law, both of us laughing until I bumped into the couch and crashed onto Lily. I rolled to my knees and finally managed to get up and pour our drinks. We clinked our glasses together and drained the sweet, blue liquid.

  “More?” I asked holding the bottle up ready to refill Lil’s glass. “I know I’m having seconds.”

  And then Lil’s phone pinged with a text message. She held her glass out and balanced her phone on her lap as she checked the screen. “It’s Ray texting me.” Her eyebrows crunched together in a puzzled expression. “What do you think he wants?”

  I sat on my second-hand coffee table covered with gouges and scratches and filled both glasses. “Well, read it. Maybe he’s planning another funeral for himself, but he’s giving you a heads up this time.” I couldn’t resist reminding her of his appalling behavior.

  Lily read the message from Ray out loud. “I need to talk to you. Meet me at the diner?”

  I sipped my drink. “What are you going to do, Lil? Why do you think Ray wants to meet with you?”

  Lily didn’t meet my eyes. I’d known her for too long to miss this sure sign that she was hiding something. I leaned closer and rubbed her arm. “What’s going on, Lil?”

  Tears glistened in Lily’s eyes. “I told him it would never work. I told him I couldn’t fool you, of all people.” She finally met my gaze.

  “Fool me about what?” A buzz started in my ears. Then a hurtling blow to my gut made me realize that Lily, my best friend in all the world, had gotten involved in some fishy scheme with Ray. I’d sooner trust a rattlesnake with a rat than that man. But…the voice in my head reminded me. No buts. I stood up, forgetting about the glass of blueberry cordial resting on the table next to my leg. Thick, sticky liquid spread in a puddle at my feet. It was just that kind of morning.

  “The funeral…” Lily’s voice squeaked.

  Something in her tone tipped me off. “You knew?” I said, incredulous. My voice raised at least an octave.

  “Oh, Dani.” Lily followed me to my window where I stood looking at nothing but a bit of Blueberry Bay that glistened beyond the roof-lined street opposite the diner. The beautiful Atlantic Ocean that calmed my spirit and kept me grounded wasn’t performing its usual magic at the moment.

  I whipped around, sending my curls into a chaotic mess around my face. “His death? Well, that went over like a…a rotten fish stuck in a tailpipe.”

  “No, not that part. The part about me showing up and embracing him when he really wasn’t dead. His family said I’d never come. He wanted to show them I did still love him, and I was calling off the divorce. I know it sounds crazy, but you know Ray—everything had to be over the top.”

  “Lil, hon, there was no embrace. Or, did I miss that part?”

  “You didn’t miss what was supposed to be our emotional reconnection.” She hung her head. “I don’t know what I was thinking. We talked about a reconciliation, and, at the time, it sounded like a good idea. But when I saw him in the casket, I had second thoughts.”

  I waited silently.

  “I wasn’t prepared for him to look so peaceful, so handsome. I guess, to get prepared for the funeral part, I let myself think he was dead so, when he winked, I forgot the original plan and fainted. It was all so confusing.”

  Looking at Lily, so distraught, I had to wrap my arms around her. I really wanted to laugh at the absurdity of this ridiculous plan.

  “No worries, Lil. We’ll figure something out. But, tell me…why are you two talking about a reconciliation? Wasn’t it you who said Ray could rot under a pile of seaweed while the gulls feasted on him?”

  “That’s before he apologized and promised his fling meant nothing.”

  Right, I said to myself. Apparently, some people never learn.

  “And, he promised to set up an account in my name with one hundred thousand dollars in it.”

  “He bought you off to stay with him?” I was flabbergasted that Lily, my dear, sweet, trusting friend could agree to anything so shameless. On the other hand, maybe her plan was to get the money and then divorce him anyway? Now, that would be a smart plan. Or, get the money to buy out the building from Rose. That would be very underhanded indeed.

  “Okay, here’s what you’ll do, Lil.” I guided her back to my couch, refilled our glasses of blueberry cordial and reminded myself to make another batch when the next delivery of blueberries arrived.

  “Text Ray back and tell him you’ll meet him downstairs in the diner in…let’s make him sweat a bit. Tell him in an hour. And tell him that account needs to be all set up with the money he promised before you meet with him. Okay?”

  Lily nodded. I could tell that, at this point, she wasn’t going to try to pull anything over on me. She knew I had her back when times were tough, and she also knew I’d never, ever in a gazillion years let Raymond Lemay hurt her again emotionally or otherwise. I think Ray knew it, too.

  “I’ve got one more question before I heat up a bacon, egg, and cheese corn muffin for you.” Lily sipped her cordial, a big what is it question mark on her face.

  “Why drag me into this farce of a funeral?” I asked. “I don’t see the point. You could have gone by yourself, had your little make up session and told me about it later.”

  Lily put her glass down and nodded her agreement before the but came. “Ray thought it was better if you came with me. That way, you’d be able to see with your own eyes just how thrilled I was that he wasn’t dead—thrilled beyond words, beyond imagination—and that I couldn’t live without him. Then you wouldn’t argue me out of reconciling with him. That’s the way it was supposed to go.”

  Lily’s blind spot when it came to Ray Lemay was bigger than the Atlantic Ocean. But I bit my tongue and just nodded as if on some level I understood their ridiculous plan.

  “You aren’t mad at me, Dani?”

  How could I be mad at those big, round, blue eyes staring at me? “I’m not mad, Lil. I can’t lie and say I understand why you ever considered forgiving that rotten cheat, but that’s your choice, not mine. I hope you know what you’re doing.”

  She wrapped her arms around my neck. “I told Ray you’d be okay with whatever I wanted, that we didn’t have to go through with his crazy plan, but you know how Ray doesn’t like to let go of an idea.”

  I wasn’t sure how she got to I’d be okay with what she wanted, but that’s Lily. She had a tendency to twist things in her favor. But I loved her anyway, I reminded myself. “Ready for my new creation?”

  “As soon as I get out of this black skirt and jacket.” She grabbed her big, flowery tote and headed to my bathroom.

  “Okay. Meet you in the kitchen.” Changing out of my uncomfortable dress-up clothes sounded like the best idea I’d heard all morning and that bar was pretty darn low. I went into my bedroom, unzipped my little black dress, and let it fall around my ankles. Slipping on my favorite tan capris and a white, soft-as-bunny-ears t-shirt, I felt almost normal again. With a quick finger comb through my unruly auburn curls, I pulled it into a ponytail and twisted it into my version of a messy bun which did wonders for making me feel like a new woman. One who was ready to try and figure out what else Lily Lemay might have overlooked telling me. Not on purpose, of course. But I didn’t doubt that something had slipped her mind wi
th all the stress and drama of Ray Lemay’s fake funeral.

  Lily was still in the bathroom when I walked by on my way to the kitchen. I could hear her talking. To Ray? I shook my head. What she saw in that guy was beyond me, always was, and always would be.

  I put a bacon, egg, and cheese corn muffins on a plate. One of my latest projects. I figured all the fishermen would love to take their egg breakfast onboard, so why not put all the best ingredients together in a corn muffin—extra-large, of course. After a bit of tweaking, I was pretty happy with the result, but I could never have enough guinea pigs try out my creations first before selling something new at the diner.

  “Here you go, Lil.” I handed the warmed-up extravaganza to her after she finally hung up and joined me. “Anything new with Ray?” I raised my eyebrows for emphasis.

  Pink bloomed in her cheeks but she didn’t answer my question. No problem, I got my point across. She bit into the muffin. “This is fantastic, Dani. Are we selling these?”

  “Tomorrow morning, and I expect they’ll fly out the door before the sun is even up.” I loved creating new and somewhat unusual combinations for my loyal fishing customers. They needed something easy, hearty, and delicious to go with their gallons of coffee.

  I sat across from Lily. “Now that you’re maybe getting back together with Ray, are you still planning to work in the diner? Or, do I have to advertise for help?” I couldn’t help but wonder if our workplace balance was about to shift because of this whole sordid plan.

  The bloom in Lily’s cheeks had returned, telling me she’d recovered from the shock of the fake funeral and the stress of ‘fessing up to me. “Of course, I’ll still be working,” she said with one of her smiles that could light the night sky. “One of the conditions I told Ray was that I wasn’t, under any circumstance, going to just hang around the house waiting on him all the time. I was putting myself first this time and doing what I want.” Lily grinned. “Aren’t you proud of me for that?”

  “Yes, that’s great.” And I meant it except for the part where I could tell Ray would now be hanging around the diner all the time making a nuisance of himself while Lily worked. I sighed. I’d figure something out. “Is it time to head downstairs to meet Ray?”

  “You’re coming too?” A look of horror filled her face.

  “Well, yeah. You think I’m going to let you face that slippery guy on your own? He already involved you in one ridiculous plan today. I think you need some backup, so you don’t agree to another one. But don’t worry, I’ll keep my mouth shut and let you do the talking.”

  “Okay. You’re right. We could talk outside if he insists on privacy.” She washed down the last of her muffin with the rest of her blueberry cordial and stood up.

  I led the way through my small apartment, down the stairs, and to the kitchen entrance of the Little Dog Diner.

  The door was partially open. “Darn. I must not have pulled it tight when I grabbed the cordial.” I pushed it open the rest of the way and held my arm out to usher her through. “After you, Lil.”

  She walked inside and before I even lifted my foot onto the doorsill, an ear-piercing scream filled the kitchen.

  Lily crumpled to the floor.

  What now? I hoped it didn’t have anything to do with my blueberry cordial.

  My eyes scanned the kitchen, but my brain had trouble comprehending the scene. Flour covered everything. Papers were strewn about. Drawers hung open with silverware spilled onto the floor. The biggest surprise though, was Ray stretched out on the floor. My blood boiled. I poked him with my foot. “Get up, Ray. That stupid trick only works once.”

  He didn’t move.

  As a matter of fact, I noticed that his face was as white as the flour dusted all over the kitchen with a crimson puddle under his head. This was no fake death; it looked like the real thing this time.

  My stomach, having a very difficult morning, almost heaved up the blueberry cordial.

  With my feet frozen in place, the only thing that moved was my head, surveying everything again, not believing the horror of a ransacked, destroyed, ripped apart kitchen. My kitchen. Where I created recipes and tweaked them until they were perfect. My sanctuary. A rage flooded through me. Whoever did this, messed with the wrong person.

  And then I saw Ray’s little terrier, Pip, cowering under the table, her dark eyes peering through flour-covered hair as if she was trying to tell me to save her from whatever fate had befallen her master.

  My first thought should have been to worry about Ray, but to be honest, I didn’t care one bit about him. All thoughts of my destroyed kitchen also left me. Instead, I wondered what would happen to Pip. She already had endured a terrible trauma by the time Ray found her starving, terrified, and bedraggled, wandering the beach after a storm. When no owner ever appeared, Ray took Pip in. I had to admit, that was one quality I had admired about him. The only one.

  My heart nearly broke in two looking at that petrified little face that seemed to beg me to rescue her.

  I promised I would.

  Chapter Three

  Lily’s eyes fluttered as she groaned on the floor.

  Pip dashed to her side and promptly licked her face from her brows to her chin. This scene was getting old in my opinion. With Pip’s pink lopsided bow flopping around her ears, she danced around Lily, having suddenly regained her usual hyper, canine self.

  I pulled myself together enough to call 911 and say there was an emergency at the Little Dog Diner before I hung up.

  Calling this an emergency was probably an understatement, but it was all I could manage with Lily on the floor and Pip turning into a four-legged whirlwind of happiness around her.

  I reached toward Lily, helping to pull her upright.

  My attention returned to my surroundings. Ray lay sprawled in the center of our totally destroyed kitchen. Or his body lay sprawled in front of me, but Ray had moved on to wherever shady real estate scammers go after they depart this earth.

  “Did Ray destroy the kitchen out of some kind of revenge for you leaving the funeral with me?” I asked Lily, “and then he slipped and knocked his head on something?”

  Lily turned away from my gaze. Great, there must be something else she hadn’t told me. I was beginning to think there were some serious cracks in this friendship of ours.

  “Lily? Why do you think Ray wanted to meet you here?” Little fingers of fear creepy crawled up my spine.

  And then I saw my cherry rolling pin on the floor next to Ray. The rich reddish wood with streaks of dark brown swirling through it had been a gift from Rose, eleven years ago, when I turned sixteen. I loved that rolling pin. It made the best piecrusts — flakey and light. But now? Something, that looked eerily like blood was smeared on one end along with bits of something else. I bent closer to look. Hair?

  I gave myself a moment to think, which paid off when I discovered the big, bloody dent in Ray’s head right above his ear where a chunk of his hair was also missing. He hadn’t done that to himself.

  I dragged myself up off my knees, ran outside and heaved a blue mess behind the trash can next to the kitchen door. Then I drew in big gulps of fresh air as I sagged against the doorframe. I’d never be able to use that rolling pin again.

  A yapping sound drew my attention to my ankles, where I discovered Pip. She had followed me out, though if she was similarly distressed by the state of her master’s body, I couldn’t tell. She shook her little flour-covered body, releasing a white cloud that slowly settled around us. Her sweet face was a stark contrast to the scene in the Little Dog Diner’s kitchen, and I couldn’t help but smile at her before my brain replayed the scene inside. No matter how many times I ran it over in my mind, I couldn’t come up with any explanation except foul play.

  Ray dead was one thing…but murdered?

  The whine of sirens brought me to my senses, and I gave Pip a quick swipe to dust more flower off her head before I called, “Lily?” and headed back into the diner.

  She had some
explaining to do, and I wanted to hear what she had to say before the emergency responders got any closer. I grabbed Pip, and cradled the little terrier in my arms so she wouldn’t contaminate the crime scene any more than she already had, and went back inside.

  “Lily!” I called again, this time louder and with much less patience.

  I stood about a foot away from Ray’s body, not sure what to do. This felt way too creepy. Where was Lily?

  “Danielle Mackenzie?”

  I turned at the sound of a familiar, deep rumbling voice. “AJ?” I said, turning around in surprise as the body attached to the voice walked through the front door of the diner and gave the scene a cursory once over.

  “You called in the emergency?” he asked.

  I pointed to Ray, for the second time in recent history, unable to speak. AJ glanced down at Ray. His eyes popped and I know he swallowed hard because I saw his Adam’s apple bobbing. “Noooo,” I heard him mutter.

  I looked at Ray, then back to Detective AJ Crenshaw, wishing for a moment I could turn back the clock. “Yes,” I said reluctantly, not because I was feeling remorse about Ray’s demise. I was thinking, poor AJ. This had to be devastating for him. The detective and Ray had been best friends since they both got busted for stealing penny candy at the Misty Harbor Market when they were tweens.

  “What happened?” he asked, trying to hide his shock behind his professional demeanor. He reached into his coat pocket, a shiny blue windbreaker that had seen better days, and pulled out a note pad and pen. I’m not sure he was in full detective mode or just needed something to do with his hands.

  “All I know is that Ray wanted to meet Lily here. When we came down from my apartment,” I waved my arm in an arc, “this…this utter chaos is what we found.”

  “We? Where’s Lily?” Detective Crenshaw fixed me with a stare that nailed me to the wall. “Looks to me like you’re the only one here, Danielle.” He knelt over the rolling pin, tapped it with a pencil and then moved Ray’s hair aside with the same pencil to examine the dent in Ray’s head. The dark look he shot me gave me goose bumps. “The murder weapon,” he declared.