by Harley Wylde
He looked over at me, probably for longer than he should have since he was driving, but he didn’t say anything. It made me wonder if he knew something I didn’t. Yeah, Janessa had overheard her parents talking about Rin’s location, but was something more going on? Had my fears about her hooking up with Saint been legitimate?
“Just don’t freak the fuck out when you see her again,” Ryker said. “Even my old man won’t look too kindly on me bringing your ass with me if you flip out on everyone.”
I clenched my hands into fists. What the fuck? Why would I flip out? What was going on with Rin that had him worried?
“And you should know, my source said that Rin’s tests all came back fine. She wasn’t carrying any STDs, since it seems you slept with her, and the doc had done a pregnancy test that came back negative. So she wasn’t carrying a kid from some asshole who paid to use her.”
Wait. “You know I slept with her?”
He gave me an are-you-fucking-kidding-me look.
“Right. Everyone knows I slept with her, then bolted like a dumbass without talking to her first. I know her running isn’t completely on the club. I should have made sure she was all right before I took off, but Torch and Venom should have stayed the fuck out of it. What the hell does it matter if I claim her? Why can’t she just stay with me?” I asked.
“Because she deserves commitment. And if you can’t give it to her, then you need to let her find someone who can.”
It sounded like he muttered especially now under his breath.
My phone started going nuts with text messages and calls. I mostly ignored them. What with Ryker giving me a ride, I’d completely forgotten to let Torch or Venom know that I would be MIA for a day or so. It would just depend how long it took me to convince Rin to come home with me. I wasn’t going to leave without her, unless she’d hooked up with someone else. As badly as I wanted her back home with me, I wasn’t going to take her by force.
I finally sent a message to both Torch and Venom letting them know I was fine, but I needed some space for a few days. Everyone knew I was pissed as hell about Rin being gone, and anyone who had seen my house had told me I needed to control my temper. I wasn’t typically the type of guy to punch holes in walls. Hadn’t ever done it until Rin came into my life. I just… she made me feel shit, things I’d never felt before. It scared the fuck out of me, and at the same time, I wanted her back because I felt like a piece of me was missing when she wasn’t there.
Christ! I’d had her in my house one fucking night. One! Even I knew how fucked up that was. It wasn’t like we’d spent days, weeks, or months together and fallen in love or some shit. We had insane chemistry together, and yeah, she’d made me forget every woman I’d ever fucked. All I’d been about to think about was how damn right she’d felt in my arms, and wrapped around my cock. Fuck! I’d never wanted a woman as badly as I wanted Rin. Even now, just remembering the way she’d looked at me that night, I started to get hard. I hadn’t fucked anyone since she’d left, having no interest in the club sluts.
When we pulled through the Hades Abyss gates, Ryker didn’t go to the clubhouse like I’d expected. He turned and drove past some homes until he stopped at one, pulling into the driveway. I saw Saint’s bike, another Harley, and an SUV. Was this where Saint and Rin had been staying? And who the fuck was the Hades Abyss member they’d been crashing with? Shit. They hadn’t made Rin be part of a threesome, had they? I didn’t see her liking that shit one bit.
I nearly dove out the car, forgetting my bag in the back, and didn’t even stop to knock on the door. I just barged in and started looking for Rin. What I found stopped me in my tracks.
Saint stood in the hall, a small blonde baby cradled against his shoulder, and Rin was retching in the bathroom with some asshole holding her hair and rubbing her back.
“Are you sick?” I asked, staring at the woman I’d thought about night and day for a damn month.
She blinked at me and paled even more. “Wraith.”
The Hades Abyss asshole glared at me. “So you’re Wraith. Nice of you to show up.”
What the hell?
“No one would tell me where they’d stashed Rin. I’ve been trying to find her for four fucking weeks!”
“She’s safe,” Saint said. “But I think the two of you need to talk. Come on, Rocket. Let’s give them some space.”
Saint went to move past me and the little girl on his shoulder opened her eyes and blinked at me. Holy shit.
“You have a kid?” I asked, because she had Saint’s eyes.
“Yeah. This is Delia,” Saint said. “And now that you’re here, I can take her home.”
“Wait. You’ve been here this entire time waiting for me to show up? Why the hell didn’t you just text me and tell me Rin was here?” I asked.
“Because she didn’t want me to,” Saint said and kept walking.
Rocket slid past me and I turned to face Rin again.
I stepped into the bathroom and knelt beside her.
“Hey, sweet girl. When you hide, you do it really fucking well.”
She smiled a little, but still seemed a bit green.
“You got the flu or something?” I asked.
“Only if this flu bug lasts nine months.” Her gaze focused on mine. “I’m pregnant.”
I processed her words, then tried to stand, but she latched onto me.
“That asshole knocked you up?” I demanded. “I thought he was protecting you.”
“Wraith. You’re a dumbass,” she said. “Rocket hasn’t touched me in that way. You’re the one who knocked me up. Even though the condoms you used weren’t expired yet, they apparently weren’t foolproof or you have super sperm.”
My mouth opened and shut a few times, but it felt like the world was falling out from under me and everything spun for a moment.
“I got you pregnant?” I asked so softly I almost couldn’t even hear myself.
“Yeah. It’s why I didn’t call you. You made it clear that you didn’t want me and I didn’t want you coming just because of the baby. We’ll be fine. So now that you’ve seen I’m all right, you can go home.”
I stared at her, noting the dark smudges under her eyes.
“I wanted to find you, but no one would tell me where you were. When I asked Wire to search for you, he told me to fuck off. The second I found out where you were, I packed a bag and came straight here. I want you to come home, Rin. You don’t belong here.”
“I don’t belong with you either,” she said. “You made that clear.”
“Baby.” I reached out and gripped her hair, feeling the silkiness between my fingers. “I didn’t run that day because of you. I needed some time to clear my head because my brothers pissed me the fuck off.”
“Torch told me. He gave you an ultimatum. You either claimed me or let me go, and you didn’t want to claim me.” She sighed. “I understand, and I understood then too. I’ve always known I’m not good enough for you, Wraith, and I never will be.”
“Don’t ever say that. I didn’t…” I released her and landed on my ass, my legs sprawled on either side of her. “It’s me, all right? I’m fucked up and I’m no good for you.”
She studied me a moment but didn’t say anything. I worried she was going to walk out, until she opened her mouth.
“This is about your sister, isn’t it?” she asked. “Torch said if you showed up that I had to force you to tell me about her.”
I swallowed hard and nodded. “Yeah. I fucked up, sweet girl. I didn’t protect her like I was supposed to and she ended up dead. But not before…”
“Before what?” she asked.
“Not before they kept her drugged and let men pay to fuck her for days, maybe even weeks. When they were finished and she was nearly dead, they left her in the gutter. She died alone, lying in sewage like trash.” I felt my eyes burn with unshed tears. “It’s my fault. If I’d been there…”
Rin crawled over to me and rested her palms against my cheeks. �
�Where were you when it happened?”
“Overseas. I was in the military and was off fighting a war. I should have been home watching over her, not trying to be a hero. I failed the only person who mattered.”
“You didn’t fail her, Wraith,” she said softly. “And how many people did you save while you were over there? I’ve seen the scars on your body. You got those in action, didn’t you?”
I nodded.
“The men and women you saved, they mattered too. It’s horrible what happened to your sister, and I’m so damn sorry you have to live with that, but it wasn’t your fault.” She caressed my cheek with her thumb. “Would your sister be happy knowing that you’re carrying around all this guilt and not letting yourself be happy?”
“No,” I said, knowing that was the truth. She’d have wanted me to be happy.
“Maybe I’m not the only one who needs to heal. Maybe you do too, and you need to learn to forgive yourself.” She paused and a haunted look entered her eyes. “Was it my half-brother? Was he the one who… who whored out your sister?”
“The police never seemed to be able to solve the crime, but I’ve wondered if Joe Banner was behind it. Even if he was, it just gives me another reason to bury his ass. I don’t blame you for his actions, Rin, but your brother has to be stopped.”
“I know,” she said. “Is… is your only objection to claiming me or this baby that you feel like you failed your sister?”
“I’m not a good man, Rin. I know you seem to think otherwise, but I’ve done some pretty bad shit in my life, including things that aren’t legal. You’d be better off, both of you, if you just left and started a new life somewhere else. I’d thought I’d convince you to come back with me, stay with me for a while, but now…”
“Because of the baby your plans changed?” she asked.
“Yeah. You have more than yourself to think about now. I can’t ask you to put your life on hold, Rin.”
She dropped her gaze to the floor, then turned a sickly shade before she started throwing up again. I held her hair back, but felt awkward as fuck. What did I know about taking care of anyone? The thought of me having a kid was terrifying. I only hoped that one day Rin could forgive me for this. I’d ruined her damn life all because I hadn’t been able to say no when I should have. She might have instigated things that first time, but I hadn’t pushed her away, and I’d been the one to reach for her after that.
All the plans I had went out the window. For some reason, the thought of never seeing Rin again left me feeling empty and there was an ache in my chest, but this wasn’t about me. It was about her, and what would be good for her and the baby. And I seriously didn’t think that was me.
I could still take care of the problem of Joe Banner, though. Make sure he never got his hands on Rin again, or anyone else. There would likely be someone else who moved into his territory once he was gone, but if we took the corrupt officials down, then it would be easier to put a stop to them.
Chapter Seven
Rin
Wraith disappeared after I finished throwing up yet again. It seemed to be all I did these days. I’d thought I’d come down with a virus when Rocket had suggested I see the doctor. One little test and suddenly I’d felt fear like I’d never felt before. What did I know about raising a baby? I hadn’t had a good role model after my mom had died, and I’d been so little when I lost her that I didn’t remember much. Not as much as I would have liked. If I closed my eyes, I could still see her face or hear the sound of her voice, and I had a few memories of happy times with her, like the holidays. I did remember being happy, and that she hugged me all the time. I’d felt safe when she was alive. But was that enough to show me what it meant to be a good mom?
I didn’t know where Wraith had gone, possibly straight back to the Dixie Reapers. I’d brushed my teeth, then huddled under a blanket on the couch, not really paying attention to whatever Christmas movie Rocket had put on. I’d found I liked the Hallmark movies, with their happy endings. It always seemed to work out for those women. Whatever man they wanted, whatever outcome they needed, it happened for them. Real life didn’t seem to work that way, though, or at least it never had for me.
Yes, I was away from Joe Banner and no longer had to do what he said, but my life still wasn’t my own. Now I had to focus on the baby growing inside me and figure out what my next step would be. I knew I couldn’t stay here forever, but I didn’t exactly have anywhere else to go either. I didn’t have money or a job, so finding a place to live wouldn’t be easy. There were always women’s shelters, but I felt like there were women out there who needed those spots more than me. I was no longer living in a dangerous situation, but there were plenty of women who were.
The front door opened and Saint walked in. He’d left earlier to let Spider know that he was heading home with Delia. I knew Rocket, and probably the entire club, would miss the little girl. She was such a sweetheart. If my baby were half as good as she was, then being a mom wouldn’t be so bad. I’d helped with her when I was able, though she’d scared me to death at first. I’d never held a baby before her. I’d been close to a few, and their baby powder scent always made me smile, but no one had ever trusted me to hold one.
“You heading home?” Rocket asked.
There was tension in his voice and I knew he would miss his niece, even if he was doing the right thing by letting Saint have her. The baby belonged with her daddy, but I hoped that Rocket didn’t step away completely. I didn’t see any reason why he couldn’t visit, or vice versa. Now that Delia had linked the clubs together, surely they wouldn’t mind making arrangements for the members of either club to go onto each other’s territory. I didn’t know enough about all this to really understand how everything worked. It had seemed like the clubs were friends.
Saint stared at me hard before looking at Rocket. “I am, but I’m wondering if I should take Rin with me.”
“What?” I asked. “Why would you take me with you? Wraith doesn’t want me. He’s made that clear twice now. The club pushing me toward him isn’t going to do anything but make him angry again. Just leave it alone.”
“Rin, you don’t have any family except the asshole who sold you to random men. Who’s going to help you during your pregnancy or when the baby gets here?” he asked.
“I’ll figure it out,” I mumbled. Honestly, there wasn’t much to figure out. It was go with Saint, hope Rocket let me stay longer, or live on the streets.
“Look, even if Wraith doesn’t man up and take responsibility, that baby is still part of the Dixie Reapers,” Saint said. “If you want to stay with us, I’m sure Torch could find a place for you to live. Maybe even give you a place of your own. There’s some duplexes at the back of the property and several are empty. Some of the brothers preferred those over the houses, so you’d have someone nearby if you needed something.”
“Saint, I --”
He held up a hand. “Look, Rin. I know you want to do this on your own, but you’re going to need help whether you realize it or not. If you get a job, you’ll need someone to babysit. I’m sure the old ladies would help you out when you needed it, or we could assign a Prospect to help you.”
“Go with him, doll,” Rocket said. “I think it would be good for you and the baby, and you never know. Wraith might come to his senses and realize that he wants you.”
I wasn’t going to hold my breath that would happen.
“When are we leaving?” I asked.
“As soon as you can get packed up. I’m going to take the essentials for Delia, and Rocket can either send everything else, or he can bring them down when he visits. I’m hoping he’ll be down often to visit his niece,” Saint said.
Rocket nodded and reached over to pat my leg.
“Go with him, Rin. You need family around you, and while the Dixie Reapers might not be your blood kin, they’ll protect you and that baby. I think they’re what you need right now, even if you don’t want to admit it.”
“All right,”
I agreed. “I’ll go.”
Saint smiled. “Get your things while I gather Delia’s clothes and toys. I’ll just take the playpen for now. I’m sure Ridley or someone else at the compound will have a baby bed I can borrow until I can go buy one.”
“You can have this one,” Rocket said.
“And where will Delia sleep when she comes to see you?” Saint asked. “I’m not cutting you out of her life. Keep some things here for when she visits. I’ll take the important things like diapers and clothes, the playpen, and her car seat and stroller.”
Rocket nodded.
There was a hint of relief in his eyes and I wondered if he’d been worried that Saint would keep him from seeing Delia. He obviously knew nothing about the man who had knocked up his sister if he’d thought that for even a moment. Yeah, Saint might have screwed up and gotten Rhianon pregnant, but he was definitely one of the good guys. He’d always been a protector, and he probably always would be.
When Saint left the room, I inched closer to Rocket.
“He’s going to take good care of her,” I said. “You made the right decision by calling him. He’ll be a really great dad, and maybe one day, he’ll find an amazing woman to help raise Delia. But I can promise that he’ll never forget your sister, and he’ll make sure you see Delia as much as you want. It’s just the kind of guy he is.”
“Yeah, I get that,” Rocket said, smiling faintly. “Just hard to watch Delia walk out the door, knowing she’s the only tie I have to my sister. My parents are gone, so she’s the only blood I have left.”
“And you still have her,” I said gently. “She’ll always be your niece, and I bet Saint makes sure she sees you often, even if he has to use an app on his phone or something. He’s not going to let her forget you, or her mom.”
“Thanks, Rin. You’re a sweetheart, and if Wraith can’t see that, then he’s an idiot. If I were the settling down type, I’d keep you here.”
“Thanks, Rocket, but I’ll be fine without Wraith.”
“Yeah, I know you will.” He leaned over and hugged me.