Everything Changes

by Melanie Hansen

  So if this is gonna go any further—it’s up to me.

  At the realization, the sands of change shifted yet again, the pit of an unknown future yawing beneath his feet. Closing his eyes, Carey dug his fingers into the firm muscles of Jase’s upper back. He didn’t have to plummet into that pit alone, though, did he? Jase would be with him. Jase, the one person he trusted above all others. The one who’d been loyal, steadfast, and there for him throughout the worst days of Carey’s life.

  Jase would be careful with his heart, even as he offered his own.

  The knowledge spread warmth throughout Carey’s body and melted away his fears, the last of his defenses. Lifting his head, Carey met Jase’s gaze again, cupped his cheek—

  —and stepped off the edge.

  “Kiss me.”

  Eleven

  Jase couldn’t move.

  He stared into Carey’s eyes, the vivid blue awash in heat and desire. His full lips were parted, waiting, his body pressed tightly to his.

  It’s not a dream. This is really happening.

  “Jase?” Carey’s thumb traced along his jaw, leaving tingles in its wake. “I want you to kiss me.”

  Every nerve ending Jase possessed was on fire. Even as he longed to bend his head and take Carey’s mouth with his, the faint tinge of uncertainty that lingered in his gaze warned Jase to take it slow.

  “Mmm.” He swept him into an ostentatious turn. “The song’s not over yet.”

  Gasping, Carey clutched onto him. “I’m asking you for a kiss,” he groused, “and here you are trying to trip me.”

  “Trip you?” Jase sputtered in mock outrage. “What I’m trying to do is lead, but my dance partner has, er—”

  “Two left feet? More like no left feet.” Twining his arms around Jase’s neck again, Carey lifted his face invitingly. “Shut up, stop moving, and fucking kiss me.”

  Jase raised an eyebrow. “Well, if you insist…”

  They snickered through the first one, a mere grazing of lips, but then Carey let out a soft sigh, his fingers combing lightly through Jase’s hair. “More, please.”

  The second kiss curled Jase’s toes. Hot, slick, deep, their tongues slipped and slid against each other, the rough silk of Carey’s dragging a moan from Jase’s throat. Then they broke apart, mouths swollen, breaths coming fast and shallow.

  Carey looked dazed. “I’ve heard about the earth moving and fireworks going off, but I’ve, uh, never actually experienced that myself. Until now.”

  With a husky chuckle, Jase bent his head again. “Baby,” he whispered against his lips, “you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.”

  The next time Jase pulled back, they were clutching each other and Jase was throbbing in his jeans. The ridge digging into his hip told him Carey was in much the same state.

  “Jase—” Carey panted. “Please—”

  “Please what?” Jase gripped Carey’s ass and squeezed, lifting him high and hard against him. “Touch you?”

  Carey bit down on Jase’s lower lip. “God, yes. Touch me.” His head fell back as Jase reached between his legs and cupped him in his palm, massaging him.

  “I’m not gonna last if you keep doing that,” Carey panted. “It’s been a really long time for me.”

  At those words, a modicum of reason returned, and Jase eased off, a pleasant tingle going through him at the little grunt of disappointment Carey couldn’t suppress.

  He slid his arms back around his waist. “Song’s still not over,” he whispered, chuckling when Carey rolled his eyes.

  “Kind of hard to dance with a boner,” he grumbled. “But whatever.”

  Linking his fingers in the small of his back, Jase asked, “Just how long has it been for you?”

  Carey blinked. “What?”

  Exhaling, Jase rested his forehead against Carey’s as he started dancing him slowly around the living room again. “This is too important not to do it right,” he said quietly. “You, uh, know how long it’s been for me.”

  Two days.

  Carey’s lips tightened a bit at the reminder, but all he did was nod.

  “It was oral sex, and we used a condom. I always do, with everyone, and I’m tested regularly.” He gave Carey a tentative peck, heaving an internal sigh of relief when he kissed him back with gratifying enthusiasm. “I’m not trying to kill the mood here, really I’m not, but—”

  Carey stroked his nape, a slight smile curving his lips. “You’re just a medic to your core, aren’t you?”

  “Well, a good medic—”

  “—always looks after his guys. I get it.” Carey’s voice was soft. “In four years, I’ve had two sexual partners, the last one, um, eighteen months ago? We used condoms every time and I tested negative at my last physical.”

  Jase nodded. “See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Then he paused. “Eighteen months?”

  “Yeah. A combination of being too busy to date, and—” Carey looked away.

  “And what?” Jase asked gently, his heart aching. “Your leg?”

  “Some body-positivity issues, for sure. It’s hard for me to look at sometimes, much less someone I’d like to take to bed.” Carey’s lips were tight.

  A bolt of anger shot through Jase. “Did someone say something?”

  “Oh no, no. It was more my issue than theirs. Taking my prosthetic off, letting someone get close to the scars—it’s difficult for me, you know?”

  Fear of rejection, after a lifetime of it.

  Careful to keep all traces of pity off his face, Jase bent and put his lips to Carey’s ear. “Well, you have me so hard right now I don’t have any blood left in my brain.”

  Carey snorted. “Same.”

  “So what’re we gonna do about it?” Jase pushed his hips into Carey’s, loving how he bit his lip, a tinge of red appearing high on his cheeks.

  He peered up at Jase. “I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me?”

  With a mischievous quirk of his lips, Jase let go of him, then tugged on his hand. “Why don’t I show you instead?”

  Carey perched on the edge of the bed in his underwear, legs spread wide.

  Jase knelt in between them, tracing the edge of the sleeve anchoring Carey’s prosthetic in place. “So just roll this down?”

  “Yes.” Carey couldn’t help but comb his fingers through Jase’s soft, springy hair, reveling in finally being able to touch. “Roll it down.”

  Slowly, carefully, Jase did, following Carey’s murmured instructions.

  “All the way below the lip of the socket. Good.” Carey pulled his residual leg free. “See? Easy.”

  Jase touched the topmost Lycra sock. “Now these?”

  “Those, and then the liner.”

  Hissing at the cool air whispering across his now-naked stump, Carey leaned back on his hands, his heart giving a painful throb at how close the scarred skin was to Jase’s face. Puckered, pitted, misshapen, the amputation certainly wasn’t much to look at.

  Before Carey’s insecurities could overwhelm him, Jase pressed a light kiss to his thigh. “Well, it looks a lot better than the last time I was this close to it.”

  Carey choked, then burst out laughing. “Yeah, I imagine it does, in that it doesn’t resemble something that just came out of a meat grinder.” He grinned. “You always know the right thing to say, don’t you?”

  “I try.” Jase kissed him again, then sat back on his heels. “What’s next?”

  Carey pointed to his leg bag. “I have a small hand mirror in there that I use to look for hot spots.” He sputtered when Jase reached for the duffel. “But you don’t need that, you can just eyeball it yourself.”

  “Nope, I wanna do it like you do.” Digging out the mirror and then gripping it like a magnifying glass, Jase passed it solemnly over the end of the stump.

  Sighing, Carey asked, “See anything, goofball?”

  “I do.” Sweeping the mirror up Carey’s inner thigh, he said, “I see something very interesting.”

  “There’s no
thing interesting gonna be up that high—” Carey gasped, a quiver going through him when Jase waved the mirror over his crotch.

  “On the contrary,” Jase said with a wicked grin. “I’m really interested in this.” Leaning down, he nuzzled his nose against Carey’s bulge. “So very interested.”

  Carey could only sit there in a haze of enjoyment as Jase mouthed him through the cotton of his underwear, the mirror forgotten, his hands holding Carey’s thighs wide.

  “Mmm.” Licking his lips, Jase sat back and nodded in satisfaction. “Now I have something to work with.” He hooked his fingers in the waistband of Carey’s now-straining briefs. “Okay if I take these off?”

  Carey’d never been more okay with anything in his life. “Yes.”

  When his cock sprang free, his whole body flushed hot at the way Jase’s eyes darkened, his lips parting. Seemingly mesmerized, he wrapped his fingers around the thick, veiny column.

  “My memories do not do this justice,” Jase breathed. “Holy shit, baby, you’re beautiful.”

  The endearment and awe turned Carey’s belly into a pool of liquid heat. He let out a ragged breath, which turned to a loud groan when Jase gave him a few rough strokes.

  “God, I want to lick you,” Jase growled. “Suck you.” He swiped his thumb roughly across the slick tip, making Carey jerk. “Taste you.”

  Every muscle quivering, his fists twisted in the comforter, Carey waited for the touch of his lips on him, but Jase didn’t budge.

  Tenderness moved through Carey when he realized what he was waiting for. Stretching out a shaking hand, he brushed a lock of hair off Jase’s forehead. “Yes,” he whispered. “I want that, too. To feel your hands on me, your mouth. Please.”

  Consent given, Jase pushed his cock flat against his belly and leaned forward, burying his face at the base. He inhaled deeply, then dragged the flat of his tongue slowly up the entire length, ending with a light flick on the swollen head.

  Crying out, Carey arched his back. “Jase, please.”

  “Mmm.” Jase smacked his lips. “Tastes so good.”

  He started all over again, mouthing, licking, his free hand cradling Carey’s balls. Each tug, each kiss, each swirl, soon had Carey moving his hips restlessly, his pleading moans ringing off the ceiling.

  At last Jase stood up on his knees, leaving Carey wet and aching, his body trembling all over. Jase’s hair was mussed, his eyes soft with desire as he smoothed his palms up the bunched muscles of Carey’s thighs. “You okay?”

  Carey managed a jerky nod, not trusting his voice. Leaning closer, Jase pressed a kiss to his stomach, his tongue tracing languid circles around his navel. It tickled a bit, and Carey let out a muffled snort, which turned into a bark of surprised laughter when Jase blew a loud raspberry right on his belly.

  “Stop that,” he gasped, as Jase did it again, and again, finally surrendering to Carey’s frantic yanks on his hair. He lifted his face, looking so pleased with himself that Carey couldn’t help but bend down to kiss him.

  They giggled through the few first seconds of it, until Jase sighed, his mouth softening and opening under his. Long, slow and deep, they tasted each other, the pliable warmth of Jase’s lips molding to his. Closing his eyes, Carey surrendered to the sensation, giving himself over to it, little quivers of heat going through him at the feel of Jase’s fingertips drawing gentle circles on his inner thighs.

  “Mmm.” Jase pulled back, his breathing rough against Carey’s cheek. “I could kiss you all night. C’mere.”

  He climbed onto the bed and plumped up the pillows, then reclined back against them and held out his arm.

  Scooting up next to him, Carey lay down on his side, head propped on his hand. He gazed down at him, tracing his eyes over Jase’s bent knee, the way his T-shirt rucked up to reveal his muscled belly, the top button of his jeans enticingly undone.

  Reaching out, Carey plucked hesitantly at the fabric of Jase’s shirt. “Will you take this off? I want to see you.”

  Jase sat up and skimmed it over his head before tossing it negligently aside. Then he resumed his pose. The tuft of hair in his armpit caught Carey’s eye, and he drew one fingertip along Jase’s upraised biceps.

  “You ticklish?” he whispered.

  “No.” Jase’s voice was equally as soft.

  “Can I—”

  “Carey, I’m all yours. Do whatever you want.”

  His heart pounding anew, Carey leaned over and pressed a kiss to the tender skin of Jase’s inner arm, then trailed his lips down to the patch of hair. He buried his nose in it, inhaling deeply, the sharp male scent thrilling him.

  Would the hair down lower smell the same?

  Saliva pooled in his mouth at the thought.

  Dragging his eyes open, Carey met Jase’s gaze. “I want—but I don’t—”

  “You don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for,” Jase said quietly. “I’m happy just lying here with you.” The sincerity in his voice, the idle wave of his knee back and forth, told Carey it was true.

  “You do know your body is a work of art, don’t you?” he whispered, placing a tentative hand on Jase’s chest. He rubbed in a slow circle, feeling the muscle, the hair, marveling at how good, how right, it felt to touch Jase like this. When his pinkie grazed a nipple, Jase caught his breath, his abs tightening.

  “Oh, that’s something you like?” Carey circled his finger around the flat disk, watching in fascination as it drew up to a sharp point. He pinched it.

  “Jesus.” Jase’s low grunt made Carey’s own nipples tingle. Wanting, needing to hear more, to bring Jase pleasure, he bent and sucked the hard bud into his mouth.

  Jase bucked beneath him, but Carey didn’t let up, his hand sliding low on Jase’s belly to feel the motion of his hips.

  “Ah,” Jase moaned when Carey released him at last. “Fuck.”

  Circling his thumb around Jase’s navel, Carey whispered, “What else do you like?”

  Jase rolled on his side to face him, his eyes glittering. “What do I like in bed?”

  “Yes.” Carey leaned in and gave him a short, hard kiss, feeling daring and free. “If you could do anything right now, what would it be?”

  “Anything? Hmm. Done to me or to you?”

  “Either.” Carey’s voice shook a little, and hearing it, Jase’s mouth quirked up in a wicked grin.

  “If I could do anything to you right now…” Jase bent and nipped his lower lip “…I’d eat your ass.”

  Carey’s breath left his body in a whoosh. “What?”

  “Oh, yeah.” He ran his hand slowly along Carey’s hip. “I’d roll you to your back, push your knees to your chest, and lick you like this—” He pointed his tongue and traced a circle over Carey’s bare shoulder. “And suck you like this—”

  He demonstrated on the same spot, leaving it throbbing. “And then…”

  Trailing off suggestively, Jase nipped his lower lip again.

  “And then…what?”

  Jase put his mouth to his ear. “And then I’d slide two fingers deep inside you and make you come so hard you’ll think your soul has left your body.”

  Yanking Jase on top of him, Carey fell onto the bed and wound his legs around Jase’s hips as they devoured each other’s mouths. Carey couldn’t get close enough, digging his fingers into Jase’s flexing back.

  “Wait.” Panting, Jase rolled to the side to shove his jeans down and off before fishing in the side table for a bottle of lube. He poured a large dollop into his palm and took Carey’s cock in hand, coating it from base to tip and then doing the same to his own.

  “Hold onto me,” he groaned, coming back over top of him. “Hold on tight.”

  Carey did, hanging on for dear life as Jase thrust against him, their slippery shafts rubbing together, sensitive heads glancing off each other in an explosion of pleasure that had Carey crying out.

  Lifting his hips into Jase’s downward strokes, Carey raked his nails down his back, hissing when Jase sank hi
s teeth into his shoulder in response. He scratched him again, letting out a loud grunt when Jase grabbed his wrists and slammed them flat to the bed, pinning them.

  “You like it rough?” Jase growled, tightening his grip when Carey drummed his heel against his buttocks.

  He hadn’t known he did until just that moment, but that didn’t matter.

  “I love it,” Carey snarled. He struggled against Jase’s grip. “You know I’m tough. You know I won’t break…”

  The words, forced out through Carey’s sobbing breaths, froze Jase mid-thrust. He gripped Carey’s chin between strong fingers. “I know you won’t break, sweetheart,” he whispered fiercely. “Because you’re the strongest goddamn person I’ve ever met.”

  He kissed him, hard, then slammed his wrist back to the bed. “Now you’re gonna roll those hips for me, and you’re gonna make me come.”

  Arching his head back, Carey let go, losing himself in Jase’s demands, exulting when his hoarse grunts escalated into loud moans, his body shaking as his orgasm bore down on him. The first spurt of hot wetness against his belly made Carey gasp, “Give it to me. Oh, God, Jase. Give it to me.”

  Jase did, the sights and sounds of his ecstasy fueling Carey’s own. He came hard, his semen mixing with Jase’s in streaks that reached up to his chin.

  Shaking, Jase collapsed on top of him, and Carey wrapped him up in his arms and legs, holding him tight, his eyes stinging with tears.

  What the fuck was he gonna do now?

  Twelve

  Tadasana. Utkanasana. Bakasana.

  Jase bent and stretched, the strength moves starting out easy and getting more difficult with each successive pose. He strained to control his breathing, sweat dripping from his nose and running from his hairline down his bare back.

  Despite himself, he let out a hiss. “Ouch!”

  “Stings, huh?”

  He glanced over at Carey, who stared back at him with a raised eyebrow.

  “Fuck yeah, it stings. You scratched me to ribbons.”