A rose should be red: Part 1 - Secrets

by Akaku Red

  I lifted my hands and touched his arms softly.

  “Did you get drunk … because of this judgement?”

  He wasn’t prepared for this question. His eyes widened as he backed away.

  His reaction was the only answer I needed.

  This was the answer!

  He had really gotten drunk because of me, and maybe there was even more to it!

  “Please, don’t do that again. I beg you.”

  I hugged him tight and snuggled into his wide chest.

  A short time passed before he wrapped his arms around me and apologised again.

  “I promise,” he whispered.

  We stayed like this for a while before I realised that I needed to put on my clothes. I moved away from Tyler, yet he was a bit faster than me.

  “Let me help you dry your hair,” he said and pulled me with him to the desk, were he made me sit down on a chair, while he also brought out the blow dryer from a drawer underneath the desk.

  Before I could say anything, he had already started blow dry my hair with a gentle smile on his face.

  The mirror over the desk allowed me to glance at him.

  I felt a bit ashamed because I could have done this myself, too, but he seemed really happy doing this, so I didn’t say anything.

  After he had finished with my hair, I caught him staring at my shoulders.

  The robe was coming loose because of the movements and the dryer, he could see a bit of my skin … my scars.

  “T-Thank you! A-And yesterday was a beautiful day. I am glad that everything went well,” I said while smoothly covering my shoulders again. His expression changed.

  “Hmm.”

  He turned me around with the chair so I could face him.

  His eyes were on the neckless while he placed his arms left and right on both armchairs.

  “No problem!”

  I tried to look elsewhere, even though his face was really close to mine.

  “Did you take care of the wound on your back?”

  He shifted a bit before he made me look into his eyes.

  Dangerously attractive, deep, like the ocean.

  “I-I will do that after you get out.”

  A daring smile was on his lips, his blond hair was tickling my forehead.

  “I can do that for you.”

  Instantly, I shook my head.

  “N-No! I can do that myself.”

  A chuckle escaped his mouth before he patted my head.

  “I think it is better if I do that.”

  I pressed the bathrobe hard against me to cover my whole body.

  “N-No, I don’t want you to see my body.”

  My reason made him sigh and move back.

  “Okay, I ought to leave you to it …”

  I thought he would go now since he stepped back, but after reaching the door, he turned to look at me… Thinking about something with his eyebrows raised.

  “I have-”

  “W-Why did you kiss me?”

  We both started speaking at the same time, but Tyler stopped after two words.

  He looked at me, puzzled by my question.

  Well, I was also surprised.

  The question had escaped my mouth without me realising it.

  I was so confused about myself that I didn’t notice how Tyler was walking straight back towards me. He had already placed his hands on my hips and lifted me up from the chair, making me stand really close to him.

  “You really ask me why?”

  His breath brushed over my cheek, which made me shiver. Pointing at my neckless, he said the next words in a serious tone.

  “As a reward! I told you that I only accept a kiss as a reward.”

  It took me a moment before I could react.

  I gasped from the shocking answer and pushed him away.

  “What!”

  He smiled briefly but quickly became serious again.

  “Did you wish for an answer like this?”

  He pulled me closer again, even though I struggled to get away from him.

  I was mad.

  “I am attracted to you. I really am.”

  There was a little pause before he kept on speaking.

  “The slightest touch, your voice, your presence. I find it hard to manage my feelings because of you.”

  He placed a soft kiss on my forehead before eying me with a craving hunger.

  “Don’t tell me you don’t feel it, too.”

  My whole body trembled, the answer seemed clear, but my voice didn’t want to come out.

  “You are only mine. I marked you already. You are my used thing and mine only!”

  The scary voice of Daniel came back into my mind.

  I pushed Tyler away and covered my ears.

  “Nobody else would want you!”

  “You think anybody would want a broken toy like you?”

  “Haha! You are mine.”

  Tears fell from my face.

  I was shaking hard.

  “No! No! Please, no.”

  Please, somebody… make this voice disappear!

  I saw Tyler, he was calling out my name, but then he vanished from my sight.

  Suddenly, I was pulled back into the dark room.

  Thomas and Daniel were in front of me, they were mad.

  “TRY TO DISOBEY ME AGAIN!”

  “You can be happy that I am taking care of you.”

  “Nobody wants you!”

  Their voices mixed. One time it was Thomas, then it was Daniel speaking.

  It was hard for me to breathe, I couldn’t take that anymore.

  “You will never get away from me. You are mine.”

  No!

  “JENNY! BREATHE!”

  Strong arms were wrapped around me, one over my chest.

  “Do it as I do. Breathe in an out like I do!”

  I felt something rise and fall behind my back.

  Tyler …

  I was sitting between his legs.

  He was embracing my upper body from behind.

  “Please, your face is turning blue!”

  The dark room faded.

  I looked around. I was back in the guest room, the creepy faces of Daniel and Thomas disappeared— only Tyler and I were left.

  It took me some time to follow the rhythm of Tyler’s breath. My breathing started to function again. I clenched my teeth and slowly turned to look at him.

  “Thank god! I thought I needed to call the ambulance.”

  He sighed in relief and laid his head on my shoulder.

  “I am sorry! I must have made you remember something bad. I am sorry.”

  Oh my god!

  What just happened?

  I hadn’t had such a strong delusion in a while. It had felt so real, yet it had taken over all the space in my mind!— Or was I imagining things, and I was still in those monsters’ claws?

  Maybe everything that was happening now was a wishful dream.

  “T-Tyler?” I asked with the stutter I hated the most.

  “Yes?”

  “A-Are you really here? This isn’t a dream?”

  “Yeah… I am really here and no, you are not dreaming! Everything will be fine.”

  He gave me a peck on my neck and tightened his grip on me.

  His body heat, his scent penetrated through me. Tyler was here!

  I touched his arm, and with my other hand I touched his cheek. He was here!

  “You are boldly trying to seduce me.”

  His generic smile was back on his lips, but he still looked beaten.

  Some beads of sweat were on his forehead which I quickly wiped away with the hem of my bathrobe.

  “Y-You are real.”

  Relieved, I turned and hugged him tight, I didn’t want him to vanish before me.

  A long moment passed before he started talking again.

  “You know … I really wanted to hold off. I didn’t want to get too close because I was afraid of hurting you, but the more I restrain myself, the more I want
to be closer to you. I want to know you better. It breaks me when I see you like this.”

  His words did hurt me a bit, since it seemed like I gave him a hard time, but they also warmed my heart.

  He did care about me and I really appreciated it. We stayed like this until I calmed down.

  Then I got up.

  “S-Sorry, it’s just … sometimes … I recall some things, and I hear the voices from the past. They frighten me,” I muttered, but Tyler wasn’t listening. He was looking at my back, and his eyes got bigger.

  “You are bleeding!”

  He wanted to take a look, but I stopped him.

  “I-I can do it myself. Please, I don’t want you to see my body.”

  After I said this, he looked away.

  “You can’t reach this spot.”

  “Somehow, I will.”

  I didn’t feel any pain from my back, and it confused me that my wound had started to bleed again.

  “Let me help you. Jeffrey told me that you really need to take good care of your wound.”

  My hand was shaking as I ran it through my hair.

  “P-Please... I don’t want you to see the scars.”

  “I am not afraid of scars.”

  “But I am! They aren’t beautiful scars. They are ugly and will always remind me…”

  The lump in my throat broke my voice.

  I couldn’t finish my sentence.

  Yet, I didn’t need to.

  Tyler turned around and left the room without saying a word. I was relieved for a moment and was surprised when he came back. This time he was holding a tie in his hand.

  “Okay, then we will do it like this.”

  He tied the black fabric around his head and then pointed at his covered eyes.

  “Now I can’t see your scar, but at least I can feel it and treat it.”

  How can he do that if he can’t see?

  “I am skilled. You need to believe in me.”

  He answered my unspoken question and stretched out his arm.

  “But you need to guide me!”

  His smile gave my stomach a thrilling sensation. My body moved on its own. I took his hand, and he instantly pulled me closer. We approached the bed.

  He sat down while I brought a wet and a dry cloth and the ointment for the wound.

  Before I sat down next to him, I made sure that he really couldn’t see a thing.

  I waved with my hand around his face and since he didn’t flinch at all, I believed him.

  With a hard pounding heart, I opened the bathrobe and let it hang around my waist, so my lower body was fully covered. Then I turned to face the wall.

  Even though he couldn’t see me, I still took the pillow from the bed and covered my chest with it.

  “Are you ready?” Tyler asked.

  Instead of answering him, I took his hand and pressed the cloth on it.

  My face felt warm.

  While I guided his arm to my back, a question came into my mind.

  Why am I letting him do this?

  I knew I couldn’t reach the wound by myself, but at least I could try it.

  Also, I could have put on some clothes, I didn’t need to be naked in front of him.

  This isn’t good.

  Before I could stop him, he was already touching my lower back. He felt his way up to my wound, gently and without hesitation.

  I swallowed hard when he brushed over the wound without a hint of disguise or fear.

  Like a feather brushing over me, he wiped away the blood, and then he went to take the dry cloth to dry it. It did hurt a bit, but somehow, I could only focus on his gentle and tender touches.

  After that he took the ointment next to him and applied it on the wound.

  He took his time with it and did everything carefully.

  “Thank you.”

  I couldn’t recognise my own voice— breathy and shy.

  “Am I hurting you?”

  I shook my head, forgetting that he couldn’t see me.

  Yet, I couldn’t answer him now.

  I tugged the bathrobe and started to slip on the sleeves, but Tyler stopped when he bent his torso over me.

  His hands were on my upper arms, I felt a weight on my back, and his face was hovering next to my shoulder.

  I felt unguarded.

  “You need to answer me. I can’t see you.”

  His deep husky voice was too much.

  “Y-You didn’t.”

  I really hated my stutter.

  A laugh escaped him, but it wasn’t a laugh to embarrass me— no, it was one of relief.

  “I am glad…”

  My soul was filled with emotions I never knew I had.

  “Do you know that you are always on my mind?”

  His fingertips circled around my arm, making my whole body crave for more of his touches.

  “You are… And yesterday was the second time I could taste your beautiful lips.”

  Somehow, I felt dizzy after he said those words.

  “Second time?”

  At least I didn’t stutter…

  He shifted.

  “The first time doesn’t really count since you were asleep.”

  I was puzzled and had no time to process his words.

  “Give me a moment, I need to-”

  “That day when you had the sexy red dress on. I just couldn’t help myself,” he confessed but didn’t sound guilty at all.

  “Wow.”

  So, it hadn’t been just a dream. He had really kissed me!

  “Yeah, I know... Jenny. I can’t see you, but I feel you and every touch just feels so good! The days without you when I couldn’t see you crushed me ...”

  Tyler moved his head down to my neck and kissed it.

  I shivered the entire time while his lips explored my shoulders and went down to my lower back.

  Every scar that got in his way, he caressed with a loving kiss.

  I felt hot and cold at the same time.

  But this was wrong!

  This was the wrong time and wrong thing to do. I moved away and slipped into the bathrobe.

  Covering my body and putting a space between us.

  I didn’t even have the time to control my irregular heartbeat because everything had happened really fast.

  Tyler grabbed me and pulled me close.

  He moved his hands up to my face and pressed his lips against mine.

  First really slowly but then with a lot more pressure.

  My emotions went crazy.

  Again, the moment his lips met mine, I lost myself.

  I closed my eyes and… kissed him back.

  I turned my body, so I could wrap my arms around his neck.

  Tyler broke off the kiss, just to take a deep breath.

  “I have been waiting for so long… You just don’t know.”

  He breathed.

  “I … don’t know?”

  I repeated, mesmerised by his being.

  His lips curled upwards. His breathtaking smile was back on.

  I really wanted to look into his eyes right now…

  And then again, he pulled me closer to a kiss which turned very passionate.

  He moaned into the kiss and placed his hands on my cheeks, which began to slide down to my neck.

  It gave me goose bumps.

  This was different from yesterday, it wasn’t innocent.

  It was passionate with a deep hidden yearning.

  A desire … which had been held back for a long time and couldn’t wait any longer to be freed.

  Our lips blazed with greed as we kissed until I gasped.

  Tyler came as close as possible, even I wanted him to be closer. I just didn’t notice that he was removing the bathrobe from my upper body.

  Not until the bathrobe was hanging loosely around my waist again, and I felt the mild air around me.

  The lust was replaced with panic, even though he couldn’t see me. It was still uncomfortable for me to be half naked in front of him.

/>   I thought that I didn’t want that, but as soon as he softly brushed over my skin, as he pressed me gently against his body, I felt warm again.

  He let my insecure thoughts fade away with his kind, gentle yet seductive touches.

  So sweet and soft yet determined.

  He followed my neck down to my chest.

  Placing a kiss on my scar and licking it with his tongue, I sighed and shuddered from every hot touch.

  Sometime later he moved back, he grabbed his sweatshirt and removed it.

  Showing off his well-built body, his golden skin matched his blonde hair very well.

  But I couldn’t look at it long enough since he pressed his body against mine.

  Skin on skin.

  This full body contact made my emotions explode. His fingers wandered up to my chin, he pulled me close to a burning, hot kiss. His tongue slid over mine, his strong arm was wrapped around my waist when he pressed me against the bed.

  The kiss became slower …— But.

  I pulled away from the dangerous kiss and gasped for air since I couldn’t breathe anymore.

  I felt dizzy.

  “Jenny, may I?” Tyler asked, inhaling and exhaling the air around us deeply which really turned me on.

  I didn’t know what he meant, only as he was pointing at the tie.

  He wanted to see me.

  “I don’t want to feel it, I want to see it.”

  He said this in a seductive way which caught my breath.

  “You can take it off if you feel ready.”

  As he whispered those words, he tightened his grip around my waist.

  My body was obedient… I would do anything for him…

  Even though I was unsure, my hand moved on its own.

  Slowly, I removed the tie around his head and let it fall on my chest.

  I didn’t see much because I was covering my eyes with my hand, too afraid to see his reaction.

  For a while, only our breathing was audible.

  I felt awkward.

  He is the first man besides my family who saw my scars so openly.

  My insecure mind made me turn onto my stomach, but I had forgotten that my back looked way worse. I wanted turn again, but Tyler stopped me.

  He held me in place, brushing over every scar and kissing them softly.

  The butterflies in my stomach started to spread everywhere because of him... I felt good, not just good! I felt alive and coveted.

  Like never before.

  He helped me turn onto my back again.

  Our eyes met, his gaze stirred me, my heart was beating like crazy.

  “You are beautiful,” he said, his blue eyes were intense, as if I was looking into a wave full of admiration and desire. It ran over me in the most tender way possible.