by J. L. Drake
“I hope you don’t have to see it.” Even more tears formed along the rims of her eyes. “It’s so sad, and she shuts down whenever her triggers are present. I just…” She sniffed and tried not to cry. “I just haven’t seen her this happy in forever. You’re good for her, and whatever her reasons were for not being able to tell you this earlier, I can tell you she’s paying the price now. She’s heartbroken with what happened tonight. It was no way for you to find out.”
“I won’t lie, Jessi,” I went with honesty because Jessi was letting me in, “I was completely blown away. I knew she had a past, but falling for a woman who is still married just feels wrong. It’s something I should have known.”
“No, you’re right, and she knows not telling you that was wrong, but to be honest, I don’t think she meant to fall for you either.”
I tried not to dissect what fall for you really meant and forced myself to continue to concentrate on what Jessi was saying. She had just glossed right over those words and continued.
“She was having such a good time. She was laughing, dancing, and letting loose. My friend was finally back. It’s been such a long time since I’ve seen her that way, but then when it was time to go, fucking Myles approached her upstairs. According to Wendy, he had her by the arms, trying to convince her to do something she obviously didn’t want to do. They were arguing when someone screamed fire. He pushed her hard into the bathroom, and she fell, then he just raced off to escape.” She scrunched up her face. “Always was such a fucking dick weed.”
“I didn’t know he spoke to her at the club.”
“Yeah,” she covered her face like she was exhausted, “he won’t go down without a fight.”
“Does he even want to be married to her anymore?”
“Myles needs her to be married to him.” Her lips pressed together like there was a lot more to be said on that subject. She lost herself in thought for a moment. “Did she ever tell you how she got the cast on her arm?”
“No.” I shook my head.
“Look, I have told you a lot tonight. Only because I want you to at least talk to her before you decide what you want to do. I’ll let her tell you the story that ended it all. It’s a good one.” She rolled her eyes and ran a hand over her face.
“If it counts, I do appreciate you sharing this with me. She’s lucky to have you.”
“Thanks.” She smiled through tired, bloodshot eyes. “I just want my person back.”
“You want to go home? I’ll stay with her.”
“I’d really like to say yes, but I can’t leave her. Besides, if that asshole shows up, I’m prepared to go to jail tonight.”
“Then it’s probably best we both stay.”
Chapter Ten
Carter
“Hey.” Cook’s voice found its way through my exhausted state. When my eyes adjusted, I saw him holding a bottle of water out to me. I glanced at Jessi, who was passed out cold on the couch along the wall.
“Thanks.” I shook my head clear the best I could and watched as my best friend pulled over a chair and kicked his feet up next to mine on the bed. I sipped the cool water and tried to move past the mental hurdle my head wanted nothing to do with. I needed sleep, but I was determined to stay awake in case her ex showed up.
“I’d get us coffee, but you look like shit and need sleep.” He settled deeper into the chair like he was in it for the long haul.
“I hate how emotional situations make people tired.”
“We’re humans,” he shrugged, “we need sleep. So,” he yawned, “I brought some backup so we can get some shuteye.”
I followed his line of sight and saw two police officers at the door. I could hug Cook for all he had done this night.
“Sleep, friend.” He closed his eyes. “We need sleep to get our heads in the game.”
I didn’t hesitate and let my eyelids finally have their way, and they drifted down as I gave myself to sweet, sweet sleep.
Sometime later, I heard a “shh” from Jessi. It tugged at me from the lovely bliss of unconsciousness. I fought to stay in the cool darkness, but my subconscious had other plans. “He didn’t get much sleep.”
“I don’t think I can do this, Jessi.” Arizona’s low voice caught my attention, and I focused in on it.
“What do you mean? He showed up about forty minutes after you were brought here.”
“Things are so complicated.” Arizona started to cry, but it immediately turned into a raspy cough. “I don’t think I was supposed to find someone so soon. I’ve done everything wrong.”
“Meaning?”
“I didn’t mean to fall for him.” I could hear her sniff, and then I heard Jessi move to her side while the word fall bounced around in my head. What did fall mean, exactly?
“I’m supposed to heal first, and I’m nowhere near repaired.” She sniffed again. “Not even close. I should be totally free of Myles. I’m still battered, grasping at anything that feels good. Poor Carter is caught in the crossfire of all that.”
“Ari,” Jessi tried to stop her spiraling, “do you want Carter?”
There was a long pause, and I wished my eyes were open to see her reaction to that question.
“Does it matter anymore? The damage has been done.”
Suddenly, the door swung open and nurse Libby cleared her throat.
“Miss Lexington, you have been cleared to go home.”
I shifted and slowly moved to stretch my arms. I allowed my eyes to flicker open, and I took in the room. Cook opened his eyes and gave me a knowing look like he had been listening as well.
“Morning, boys.” Libby addressed us as she checked Arizona’s blood pressure. “It’s been a quiet night at the hospital.”
It was her way of telling us that no one had shown up.
“Happy to hear that.” I rubbed my eyes clear and let out a long yawn.
“Cook, right?” Jessi addressed him. “Why don’t we go get something to eat and let these two have a moment?”
“You took the words right out of my mouth.” He grinned at her. “Jessi, right?”
“Yes.” She smiled, and the two hurried out of the room, leaving us alone.
I scrubbed my face, trying to catch up with the rest of the world. A hot shower and a run would do me a lot of good right now.
Arizona brushed a tear away as she stared down at her hands.
“I didn’t think you’d be here,” she confessed.
“I needed to know you were okay.”
“I’m fine.” She brushed more tears away.
“Are you?”
“I always am.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not.”
“Forgive me,” I cleared my throat, “but you haven’t been overly forthcoming up to this point.”
She closed her eyes and let out a long breath like she was trying to stabilize her emotions.
“I’m sorry for hurting you, Carter. I should have been honest. But my past is a constant reminder of the kind of human I chose to be.”
I saw the distance she was trying to put between us, and I suddenly felt nervous.
“Mistakes that took years to build can be harder to tear down,” she went on.
“I’m not going to lie,” I moved to stand and felt my back crack, “it hurt the way I found out the truth. It’s not like we haven’t been alone enough times for you to bring it up.”
“It’s not that easy.”
“Isn’t it?”
“No,” she shot back, and again I could sense the walls forming around her. “My ex scares me.” Her voice dropped. “I wasn’t supposed to find someone until the split was official. Now he knows there’s something between us…” She paused. “Was,” she corrected herself, and I felt my blood run cold. “And I’m not sure what he’ll do.”
I closed my eyes and tried to get a sense of what my heart wanted me to do. The long stretch of silence between us had her misread my thoughts.
“You can go, Carter.” She sniffed, and I could tell she was holding on by a thread. “Jessi can take me ho—”
“There you are! Thank God.” A woman who was obviously her mother raced in with one hand on her chest.
“Mom?” Arizona looked startled. “What are you doing here?”
“Jessi.” She tossed her bag on the chair and rushed to her daughter’s side. “Dad has the police on the phone. This was Myles, wasn’t it? Did he do this to you?” Suddenly, she took in that I was standing there, and her eyes narrowed in on my NYFD jacket. “Oh, I’m sorry. Did I interrupt something?”
“No,” Arizona cut me off, “he was just leaving.”
I tilted my head at her attempt to dismiss me and reached out and offered my hand to her mother.
“Lieutenant Carter.”
“Nice to meet you, Lieutenant. I’m Ena, Arizona’s mother.” Her hands were freezing. “Do you have any idea what happened last night?”
“Not yet. We just know it’s the second night club fire we’ve dealt with. We’re working around the clock, and I’m sure the truth will show itself soon.”
“Is she going to be okay?”
“Mom,” Arizona held up her hand as she slowly swung her legs over the side of the bed, “I’m fine.” She went to stand but wobbled once on her feet.
I reached out to grab her and sat her back down. “Take a second and breathe.”
“Oh, sweetheart.” Her mother quickly moved to her side and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah.” She sighed like she hated the attention.
“Is this,” she brushed the hair back off Arizona’s face to inspect the bruising on her cheek, “from Myles?”
“No,” she whispered.
“I know he was at the club.” God dammit, Jessi. “Please don’t lie to me, honey,” she pleaded. Her mother was sweet and caring, but I could tell she was ready to pull the trigger on the police if Arizona gave her even a speck of something. “You promised you wouldn’t cover for him anymore.”
Arizona lifted her chin and dried her tears as though contemplating her options. Slowly, she lifted her hands and pushed up the sleeves of her sweater to show two bruised wrists.
I quickly moved forward and gently took her hands in mine to study them.
“Myles did this?” I snapped and felt my anger surge so fast my ears rang. She nodded but wouldn’t make eye contact.
“Why did he do that? What did he say?” Her mother’s anger rose with mine, and clearly it wasn’t new to her.
“He doesn’t want his father to know we’re separated, and when I wouldn’t agree to drop the divorce, he got angry.”
“I know someone who might be able to help,” I said without thinking.
“I’ve got this, Carter.” Arizona’s tone made me look at her hard, and I saw her mother was eyeing the both of us.
“Do you two know each other?”
“No.”
“Yes,” I corrected Arizona. “We’re dating.”
“Were.”
“Are.” I stared her down, and she looked away, blinking back more tears.
“Oh.” Her mother’s face broke out into a huge smile that almost made me match it. Almost. “Well,” she faced her daughter, “that explains so much.”
“Meaning?” Arizona head snapped back.
“I had someone I wanted you to meet, but Damien told me no. Now I know why.”
“It’s complicated, Mom.”
“What relationship isn’t?” I rebutted, surprising myself. My normal reaction would have been to turn my back and leave if a woman kept this big of a secret from me and I found out. But Arizona made me want to fight for what we had, even in front of her mother, who I had only just met. It was a revelation for me that I felt so sure about her, in spite of all my past principles of never getting involved with a married woman.
“He’s right, dear.” She pulled her daughter’s hair off her shoulder to see her better. “Complicated relationships are good. It means it will keep you on your toes, and it makes loving that person worth never getting complacent about it. I love the idea of you being with someone who will fight for you, even if there is a rift right now.” She glanced up at me and smiled warmly. “She’s been through a lot, Carter.”
“Mom,” Arizona warned, “there are things you don’t know. I haven’t been honest with Carter, and the damage has been done.”
“And yet I’m still here.” I folded my arms and stood tall. “Now the ball’s in your court.”
“Ena.” Jessi broke the moment, and I stepped back as she and Cook entered in a ball of energy.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I pulled it free to see it was my captain.
“Cook,” I called, “we gotta go.”
“Oh, damn, okay.” He rushed back out, and I took a moment to lean over and kiss Arizona on the top of her head.
“Call me later.” She nodded, but I could tell she was in a different headspace. I hoped she just needed time.
Chapter Eleven
Arizona
Bullets being sprayed into the air faintly rolled off the speakers from the living room, and I knew Nix and Damien were still here. They hadn’t left my couch since I got home three days ago, and while I loved my brothers, I wished I could get a little space.
I kicked off my blankets, took a quick shower, and brushed my teeth, before I headed out to my occupied living space.
“Afternoon, Ari.” Nix held up a bag of Lay’s potato chips, and I dug my hand in and took a handful as I dropped down between the two of them.
“If you know all the lines to a movie, you’ve watched it too much.” I tried to snatch the remote from Damien, who was apparently ready for it, because his reflexes were faster than mine.
“Just put a pickle on my plate,” Damien muttered.
“And leave the hard stuff to me.” He knew I couldn’t help but finish his sentence.
“Case in point.” Nix jammed a handful of chips into his mouth like it was his last.
“Um, first, Dirty Dancing is a timeless classic, and second,” I elbowed Damien and plucked the remote from his fingers, “this is my place. Don’t you guys have girlfriends to stay with?”
“Yes, but your place is so much better, and besides, you always have food.” Damien winked and rolled his eyes when I changed the channel and simultaneously snatched the chip bag from his grasp.
“I broke up with Tracy.” Nix downed his beer and grabbed another.
“Why?” Though this was news to me, it didn’t surprise me. Nix got bored easily.
“She got pissed that Damien and I were planning our annual fishing trip in the spring. She felt she should come along.”
“Oh.” I scrunched my face up. I really thought Tracy was different.
“Don’t look so sad.” He shook his head at me like I was overreacting. “I’m not. It is what it is. Until I can find a woman who doesn’t care I have a busy social life with the guys, I will continue to date casually.”
“Okay.” I raised my hands to show him I would drop the topic.
“What about you and Carter?” Damien used the side of my table to crack open another beer. I glared at him, and he shrugged. “You never said I couldn’t tell Nix, just not Mom or Dad, and Mom knows, so…”
“Who’s Carter?”
“No one.”
“He’s her neighbor, the one that she was making out with a bit ago.”
“Really?” Nix twisted to see me better. “Well, shit, our sister’s a bit of a hussy.”
“Die,” I hissed. They laughed, and I knew I was in for a shit show now.
“Damien?” Nix questioned.
“Six-two, firefighter, has a sister and two parents—”
“How in the hell do you know all of that?” I closed my eyes when it hit me. “Damn it, Grady.”
“Only took one call for him to vet your pet.”
I made a face at his reference. “Please don’t ever say that to me again.”
“Guess he’s a stand-up guy.” Damien directed the conversation over my head to Nix. “Mom even met him at the hospital and approved.”
“Oh, I see,” Nix tried to act hurt, “so now it’s just me and Dad who are left out of the know, kicked to the side of the road, as it were.”
“No, you’ll have company once I kick Grady’s and Damien’s asses.”
“Save me a beer.” Damien chuckled as we settled back down to watch me skim the channels.
I could practically hear the wheels turning in Nix’s head, and every so often he’d eye the door.
“If you even so much as make a move toward his door, I will call Tracy and say you were shopping for engagement rings.”
“If you invite him over right now, I will drop the whole thing.”
“I can’t,” I answered honestly, and my tone caught his attention.
“Why? What happened?”
“Oh, you know,” I felt tired again, “the same old, same old. I wasn’t forthcoming with my past, and he found out via Myles in the worst way possible.”
“So, he left you?”
“Nope,” Damien, who really knew way too much, chimed in.
“Stop talking to Mom!” I hit his arm, which made him laugh harder. “He said he was hurt but understood, but I know in time that will play on his mind. I broke his trust without truly meaning to.”
“Okay, yeah, that sucks, Ari,” Nix rubbed my shoulder, “but dudes don’t overthink like you women do. If he says he’s okay, then he is.”
“But—”
“It’s you who has the problem, Ari. You don’t think you deserve to be happy. Myles somehow warped you so badly that you couldn’t see the perfect guy if he ran into you.”