Thinking of Zoe

by Daria White

  “I missed her.” He took one of Celine’s small hands and kissed it. Zoe couldn’t figure him out. How could he be so smug but yet show gentleness with a child? Zoe pulled her lips in. It wasn’t her business, and she didn’t care to know.

  “This is Celine’s new nanny. I need you to take her to Lisa’s place and show her around. You’re not rehearsing tonight, are you?” his aunt asked.

  Alex shook his head. Then his eyes focused on Zoe. “Not tonight.”

  “Great,” Ms. Pam said. “I can’t thank you both enough for helping me out. Alex, help me with Celine’s car seat.” Then she reached over for a bag. It had to be Celine’s diaper bag.

  Alex handed Celine back to Zoe. “I guess it’s you and me, huh?”

  Zoe didn’t answer. She only rested the baby on her hip. Today was not her day.

  ***

  Alex let down his window of his Toyota Tacoma TRD Sport, motioning for Zoe to park in Lisa’s driveway. She did, and he backed into his own driveway and cut the engine. He didn’t hesitate to rush over to Zoe’s car, just as she undid Celine’s car seat, who was asleep.

  He leaned over and kissed his baby cousin’s forehead. Alex couldn’t believe the news when Lisa moved back to town pregnant with a husband that left her for another woman. He wanted to pound the guy’s face, but he promised Lisa he would help her no matter what. The day Celine was born, the baby girl stole his heart.

  “I’ll get the bag if you carry her car seat,” Zoe said.

  Alex smiled at her but directed his attention back to Celine. She stirred as he carried her, but she didn’t wake up. “Looks like she’s knocked out.” He dug into his pocket with his free hand for his key, and unlocked Lisa’s door. He turned off her alarm. Zoe trailed in behind him, clutching her purse and Celine’s baby bag.

  Alex pointed. “There’s the kitchen. Living room. Celine’s room is the first on the left.” He unclicked Celine’s belt on her car seat and carefully scooped her in his arms. She fidgeted some but relaxed as he massaged her back. He closed his eyes for a moment, taking in her baby smell. Thank goodness she didn’t need a diaper change. His eyes would have watered by the stench, but he loved this baby girl.

  “I think I can handle it from here,” Zoe said.

  Alex blinked. Then he stared at Zoe. The sun was setting outside, so the beams shone through the curtains. The light radiated off her dark brown hair. Zoe tilted her head to the side. Alex swallowed. He needed to stop staring. Celine whimpered in his arms. “Someone’s hungry?”

  Zoe walked to the kitchen and retrieved a bottle. Alex paced the floor, rocking Celine in his arms. He heard the microwave chime and watched as Zoe tested the formula on her wrist. She appeared to approve the temperature. Then she walked over to the couch, joining him in the living room. Alex placed his cousin in her arms. He caught a whiff of Zoe’s sweet perfume. Her own curls looked soft, but he didn’t reach out.

  He sat beside Zoe. “I can stay for a bit.”

  Zoe cradled Celine. “I’ve done this before so, no thanks.”

  “Don’t tell me I make you nervous?” he asked.

  She cleared her throat. “No, but I’m on the clock.”

  He sighed. “I’m usually here, anyway. Lisa’s... she’s been through a lot. I don’t mind staying, though I’m sure my aunt trusts you since she hired you on the spot.”

  “I’ve never been fired and rehired for another job in the same day,” Zoe said.

  Alex chuckled. “She didn’t?”

  “She did. I didn’t know what to say, but when she offered, I couldn’t resist.”

  “How long have you been a nanny?” Alex then reached over and grazed Celine’s hand. His baby cousin wrapped a hand around his finger. His heart melted.

  Zoe didn’t make eye contact with him. “Not long, but I’ve always loved kids, so it comes naturally to me.” Celine pulled away from the bottle, and Zoe sat her up to burp her. Alex smiled. He’d burped his baby cousin plenty of times. Two of his favorite shirts ruined because of her spit up.

  Zoe patted Celine’s back. “You seem good with her.”

  “She’s my princess.” He heard a burp. “That’s my girl.”

  Zoe rocked with the baby in her arms and Alex stared. Celine took to Zoe well, but then again, his little cousin loved seeing new faces. His body temperature increased seeing Zoe this way. The maternal factor only made his insides flutter.

  Did Zoe want children of her own? She’d make a wonderful mother. Alex rubbed the back of his neck. This wasn’t his style.

  He never thought long term. A serious relationship? Love had torn his family apart. First with his father, Lisa’s husband left her, and not to mention his... he didn’t want to remember. It didn’t change the situation.

  “You don’t have to stay, Alex,” Zoe said. “I’ve taken care of babies before. I used to take care of twins.”

  His eyes widened. “Twins? I can barely manage one, and that’s not even full time.”

  Zoe giggled. “I developed a system.”

  “Was the family disappointed when you left?”

  She nodded. Her features softened. “It’s hard not to care. I grew to love the kids. Their parents were great too. I’m glad they were supportive of my decision.”

  “Why did you leave?” he asked.

  Zoe was quiet for a moment. Celine squirmed in her arms and reached for him.

  Alex took her in his arms and settled her on his lap. “I didn’t mean to sound nosy.” He did, but he wouldn’t tell her that.

  She shook her head. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll put Celine’s things away in her room.” She rose from the couch and left him alone with the baby. Celine raised her chin to look up at him.

  “What do you think, princess? Will she ever like me?” he asked.

  Celine gave no expression. She grabbed his hand and gnawed at his fingers.

  “Thanks for your help,” he said. Zoe would be a hard one to crack, but there was something about her he couldn’t shake. Alex wouldn’t give up. Not yet.

  Chapter 5

  Zoe yawned and stretched her arms above her head. Focusing her eyes on the coffee table, she spotted a baby monitor. She regained her bearings. She was still in Lisa’s duplex. What time was it?

  Checking her phone, it was almost midnight. Though she didn’t hear any unusual sounds, she checked Celine’s room. The cracked door squeaked as she pushed it further open. Dim light shined from a lamp in the corner. A colorful mobile danced above Celine’s crib and played a soft sleep-time melody. The air had a mix of air freshener and baby powder.

  Zoe inched closer only to see the baby on her stomach, her bottom in the air. She smiled. Celine looked so peaceful. Her tiny lips puckered as she slept.

  She breathed easier when Alex left for his place. His smoldering looks were too intense. What color were his eyes? They weren’t green but not full blue either. Whatever shade they were, it only made her stare.

  So, she insisted he leave, assuring him she could care for Celine on her own. Did he frown? Why would he? She was only doing her job, and he’d only be a... distraction. She wouldn’t make the same mistakes twice.

  Zoe heard the front door open and hurried to the hall. She spotted a petite woman in scrubs. Her pixie haircut fit her round face. Zoe cracked Celine’s door and walked to meet her mother.

  “You must be Zoe. I’m Lisa.” She extended her hand.

  Zoe returned the gesture. “Yes. Nice to meet you.”

  “Late shift again. Is she asleep?”

  Zoe nodded.

  Lisa’s face fell. “I hate being away from her, but I have to make a living.”

  “I can only imagine,” Zoe said.

  “My mother called and told me she hired you on the spot.”

  “I hope that’s not a problem. I know you don’t know me but if you need to talk with my previous employer—”

  Lisa held up a hand to stop her. “I trust my mother. She’s never steered me wrong. The only time I didn’t li
sten was with my ex-husband...” She covered her mouth. “I’m sorry. I’m rambling.”

  “Don’t worry about it. We all need to share sometimes.”

  Lisa smiled. “I think my Mom made a good choice.”

  “Thank you.”

  Lisa walked over to the kitchen. Zoe followed.

  “You met my cousin?” Lisa asked. She retrieved a bottle of water from the refrigerator.

  Zoe forced a smile. “I did.”

  Lisa laughed. “I know he can be... interesting, but he’s my best friend. I can’t thank him enough for helping me with Celine.”

  “It’s great to have that support from family.” Zoe’s parents flashed in her own mind. She rubbed at her arms. She needed to go home. “What time should I be here tomorrow?”

  Lisa sipped from her bottle. “Tomorrow I’m off, but I go back the following day for an afternoon shift. In the emergency room, it’s unpredictable.” Then she pulled out her phone.

  Zoe did the same, saving Lisa’s cell as she dictated her number. “I’ll be here when you need me. I am starting classes online soon, so I can bring my work here.”

  Lisa nodded. “That’ll work.”

  Zoe walked back to the living room and grabbed her things. “Thank you for the job. Celine is a beautiful baby.”

  “Thank you. I’ll talk to you soon.”

  Zoe waved goodbye, and the door clicked behind her. She made the walk to her car. Her heart melted at the thought of Lisa’s family rallying around her, supporting her and Celine.

  Sliding into the driver’s seat, Zoe rested her head against the headrest. Her family rallied around her at one point, but at least Lisa’s mistakes were out of her control. Zoe brought hers upon herself. She’d never forget the look on her mother’s face. Her father’s had fallen with disappointment.

  How could she have been so stupid? Her choices back then not only altered her life, but Jayden’s. His eyes had burned against her. He laid in his hospital bed.

  “You ruined me, Zoe,” he had said. “You’ve ruined me.”

  Her bottom lip had trembled. She was to blame. He’d never forgive her. She destroyed their chances of ever working out. Even Jayden had moved on with someone else. Zoe was alone. That’s what she deserved.

  A knock on her window startled her. She jerked in her seat. Alex was on the other side of her door.

  His eyebrows drew together, and he motioned for her to roll the window down. Zoe did, despite her rapid heartbeat. She couldn’t have waited until she got home to reminisce on her jaded past?

  “Are you okay?” Alex asked.

  “Uh, huh,” she said. It was a lie, but she would not spill her guts to him. “What are you doing spying on me?”

  He shook his head. “I wasn’t. I got up to get a drink of water. I saw your car out here.”

  Zoe tugged at her ear. “I’m okay. Just taking a breather after my first day at my new job.”

  Alex tilted his head to the side. “I’m not sure I believe that.”

  “Believe what you want to believe.”

  He nodded. “I get it.”

  How could he? He didn’t know her. Zoe fastened her seat belt. “I have to get home. It’s late.”

  He gave a slight smile. His eyes softened. “Drive carefully.”

  “Thanks.” Zoe let up her window, ignoring his toned arms and broad chest in his sleeveless fitted t-shirt. She backed out of the driveway. Did he stand in the driveway until she left? Zoe didn’t look back, but the engine hummed in her ears as she drove home.

  ***

  Zoe made a steeple with her fingers and pressed them to her lips. She admired the dress Bailey tried on at the bridal shop. Sheer cap sleeves, a rounded neckline top, and eyelash lace over matching lining. Her future sister-in-law glowed, and the flounce bodice and banded waist above the midi skirt complimented Bailey’s petite frame.

  “I love it,” Bailey’s mother, Helen Cummings said. She rose from her padded chair and hugged her daughter.

  Bailey then turned and faced the floor-length mirror. “I’m not sure.”

  “What about this one?” Mia, her cousin said, as she held another option in her hand.

  Zoe crossed her legs as she watched the women assist Bailey’s choice for a wedding dress. A date hadn’t been set according to her brother, but the couple was in pre-marital counseling with Pastor Bellamy. Last she heard, Bailey clarified that she didn’t want to set a date until they felt prepared from the counseling. No harm in trying on dresses though.

  “You could at least let us plan a bridal shower,” Kenya, Bailey’s other cousin said.

  Bailey shook her head. “I don’t see the point of one. I don’t care about all this stuff. I’m thinking more about my marriage than having all these mini celebrations and a big wedding.”

  Mia nodded. “I agree. The wedding is only what... thirty minutes. After that, the actual work begins.”

  Bailey’s mother patted her daughter’s shoulders. “This is about you and Jackson. I know we have our suggestions, but you both need to decide for yourselves. You’re going to be family now.”

  Zoe nodded at Mrs. Cummings’ advice. A team. Perhaps she would have that one day. Was it possible after her checkered past?

  “I still can’t believe you don’t want a wedding,” Mia said.

  “That surprised me too.” Zoe added. The ladies looked at her. “It’s just... unusual.”

  Bailey smiled. “Honestly, I’ve never cared about it. I was never the girl who drew her wedding dress or had her colors picked out by the time she was in high school. I wanted real love.”

  Noelle, Bailey’s best friend, gave her a side hug. “And you found it. I’m so excited for you.”

  “Me too,” Kenya said. “Even if I don’t get your reasons. As long as you and Jackson agree, that’s all that matters.”

  “It works out easier for us too. With the tour extended and us recording, the courthouse is the best choice.”

  “Save some money.” Mia folded her arms across her chest. The group looked at her. “All I’m saying is that it’s the best choice than going into debt for one day.”

  Kenya raised an eyebrow. “Says the woman who had a destination wedding in the Caribbean.”

  Mia tilted her head to the side. “My point exactly. Carter and I could have saved that money for a down payment on a house.”

  Kenya laughed. “Shawn said he could have used it to pay off his student loans.”

  The ladies laughed. Zoe covered her mouth, but her giggles persisted.

  “How are you enjoying Bridge Point so far,” Mrs. Cummings asked her.

  Zoe smiled. “I like it here. We lived here when I was smaller. Jackson remembers more than I do, but it’s great being back.”

  “How’s school going?” Noelle asked.

  “Classes start soon. I’m glad I have a job that’s flexible,” Zoe said.

  Bailey nodded. “I heard. You’re taking care of Lisa Nichols’ baby girl.”

  Zoe’s chest swelled. She could see why Alex loved the baby girl. Celine was lovable. Alex. She figured out his eye color. Ice green. She looked up rare eye colors on the internet. It was the only explanation. Blinking, she saw the ladies awaiting her answer. “Yes, I was a nanny before I moved here so I had experience.”

  Mrs. Cummings’ nodded. “Well your timing couldn’t be perfect. Between Pam running her business and Alex being with Bailey’s band, Lisa needed an extra pair of hands.”

  Zoe swallowed. Alex had shown concern for her the other night. She didn’t mean for her thoughts to take over. Some days were better than others, but seeing his eyebrows draw together and his eyes soften towards her had been endearing. She rubbed the back of her neck. “Glad I could help.”

  “Well,” Mia said, still holding another dress in her hand. “Are you going to try this one on?”

  Bailey reached out for the dress. “Might as well.”

  Zoe’s chair groaned as she adjusted in her seat. She could do this. She could take
care of Celine and ignore Alex’s flirtatious looks. The way his eyes stared. Or how he showed interest in... her. It didn’t matter.

  She knew men like him. Zoe knew them in college. She dated one. Jayden. He was no good from the beginning, but Zoe had ignored her parents’ warnings. They kept a tight leash on her in high school, but by the time she went to college, Zoe went her own way.

  The first time she saw Jayden, her knees had weakened. She looked past the red flags. His attitude. His reckless partying. The drinking. That’s how it started, but Zoe was too in love to see his shortcomings. Then... that fateful night showed. She ruined his life. She hadn’t seen him since.

  “Bailey, I think that’s the one,” Noelle said.

  Zoe refocused and spotted Bailey out of the dressing room. Elegant lace over a nude lining, shaped a rounded neckline, and a seemed sleeveless bodice. The seaming continued into a figure flaunting sheath midi skirt with scalloped, eyelash lace hem. Bailey brushed her hands against the front as she stood in front of the mirror. Zoe had to agree with Noelle. The dress was perfect.

  “I think that’s it,” Mia said. She touched a hand to her chest.

  “It’s gorgeous,” Kenya added.

  Mrs. Cummings hugged her daughter once more. “I think they made it for you.”

  Zoe sighed. “It’s perfect.” She was happy for Bailey and her brother, despite the twinge inside her chest.

  Chapter 6

  In the large performance area of the studio, Alex tapped his sticks together. Tommy followed him into the intro of their song. Jackson played the keyboard as he always did, and the band grooved in sync with their music. Alex bobbed his head.

  He’d practiced his part enough on his own that he could play it in his sleep. It wouldn’t be much longer. Rehearsal went great with the vocals, but the music, not quite right. Jackson wouldn’t rest until they perfected it. Thankfully, the men agreed.

  Alex pulled his lips in as he played from his happy place. He had no worries. No fears. It was him and the music. The perfect relationship.

  “I think that’s it,” Jackson said.

  “I agree.” Tommy looked at Alex. “What do you think?”