The Bride's Scarred Love (Mail-Order Bride)

by Emma Ashwood

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Things happen for a Reason

  “Ruth, I know this might come as a shock to you, but I can’t go through with the wedding without telling you this. If you feel you can’t marry me after I tell you, I’ll understand.”

  No! That didn’t sound sincere because he would be crushed if Ruth no longer wanted to marry him. Caleb ran his fingers through his hair and paced nervously across the small room in the outbuilding in which he resided since Ruth’s arrival almost four weeks before. He took his meals at the ranch house, courtesy of Ruth.

  Despite the impending wedding day, he hadn’t summoned the courage to tell her about his past. He practiced telling her as he continued pacing. He didn’t like keeping things from her, but he was scared she might reject him. He doubted she would react negatively, but he had heard how women could be fickle creatures with a prerogative to change their minds. He wouldn’t blame her if she decided to back out. His scars were very ugly, and she might turn tail and run back to New York after seeing them. She might not ask to see them, but he would show her so that she would be sure of what she was getting into before the wedding. Would she see him as a monster?

  “I’ve got to stop asking myself these questions and just tell her.”

  He reached the door, turned the doorknob and paused.

  Was he insane? Why would he tell Ruth such a thing after their lovely time together? A smile softened the hardness of his face as his mind went back to the past blissful weeks.

  On her first night on the ranch, she had insisted on preparing dinner with whatever they had. The meal had been delicious, and Tucker had returned for three servings. When he complimented her on her cooking, she had shrugged and smiled shyly, informing him that their cook had taught her to come by in the kitchen. That had caused him to raise his eyebrows. So she was from a home where they could afford a cook. Later she told him how, after her father had suffered financial difficulties, they were forced to let some of their servants go including the cook. Her cooking skills and housekeeping duties had therefore been honed until such time as they were in the position to rehire their staff.

  She had offered him a smile that softened her eyes as she said, “Things do really happen for a reason.”

  The day after her arrival, she had insisted on going into town with him to get supplies and groceries for the house. She would make a fantastic wife and housekeeper. He found her to be frugal, despite seeming to have had a life of luxury.

  Their days soon fell into a comfortable routine. He would come over for breakfast and they would talk to the point that a ranch hand would eventually appear to call him to work. He hadn’t known he was a talker until her arrival. They were more than comfortable talking to one another. After working in the fields, he would return to the house for lunch. She would make him wipe his boots before he entered and then wash his hands. Tucker found it adorable and the routine was repeated at supper time. Tucker had offered to stop taking his meals at the house, suggesting it may be best to eat with the men to afford the couple some privacy. Caleb would not hear of it for fear of making a fool out of himself when he was alone with Ruth. Besides, they needed a chaperone. But as the days went by and he got to know Ruth, he didn’t mind spending time alone with her. In fact, he began to look forward to the time he spent with her, teaching her how to ride a horse. She was a very eager student and she was also intelligent and brave. It was not long before she was able to ride a horse alone, albeit slowly. He was suitably impressed with her progress. As a token of appreciation for him teaching her how to ride, she prepared a picnic basket, and they enjoyed it at the creek on a warm day.

  She eventually told him about her family back in New York. Being a great listener, he had felt things weren’t perfect between her and her father. It might have been his imagination, but he felt she was holding something back. He saw sadness cross her face more than once and he believed a man must have broken her heart, causing her decision to leave the city for his ranch.

  Who would break the heart of such a wonderful woman? Caleb smiled. It was the man’s loss; Ruth was his now. But he could only be sure of that if she reacted well to the admission he was too nervous to make.

  “I’ve got to do this,” he admonished himself.

  Ruth was too precious a person to be deceived by the likes of him. Caleb let out a deep breath and thrust the door open to stride at a fast pace across the yard to the ranch house before his courage deserted him. At least if she said no, he would always have beautiful memories of their time together and he hoped they could remain friends.

  He went through the backdoor and was surprised not to find her in the kitchen. It was normal for her to be beautifying the room, cleaning and polishing or placing flowers on the dinner table while humming a song. But today she wasn’t there, and he worried that she might have left with the realization that she could not marry him.

  With his heart in his throat, he crept up to her door and raised his hand to knock. It was then that he heard the noise from beyond the closed door. He thought it was sobbing but he couldn’t really be sure. He listened carefully until he was certain that it was the sound of sobbing. Afraid that Ruth might have hurt herself in the kitchen, his fist rapped the door and he quickly pushed it open.

  Ruth’s beautiful eyes were wet with tears and enlarged as he rushed into the room. He was beside her in a flash, kneeling by the bed.

  “Are you hurt?” he questioned with worry in his eyes as he looked her over.

  In response, Ruth let out a cry and threw her arms around him. Caleb was taken aback at first, but he allowed her to cry in his arms before sitting beside her on the bed.

  “Today is Maisie’s birthday,” Ruth gulped back sobs.

  Caleb frowned in confusion. “Maisie? Who’s Maisie?’

  “My daughter.”

  Daughter!

  **********

  Ruth was too upset to consider deceiving Caleb when he found her crying. She just knew she had to tell him the truth. She missed Maisie so much and wanted to tell Caleb all about her. If he didn’t want the excess baggage of another man’s child, she would accept it and leave. She would go back to New York to find her daughter.

  Swallowing her misgivings, she told him everything starting with her father’s announcement that she was to marry David right up to the moment she saw his ad in the newspaper. Caleb was silent all through her saga and not once did she look at him, afraid of what she might see in his eyes.

  Silence enveloped the room and only her snuffles could be heard. After a moment, Ruth slowly raised her eyes to his to see only understanding and compassion.

  “Oh, Ruth. I’m so sorry that you had to go through all that. What a monster your late husband was! How could he have done that to you and his little girl? Fathers are supposed to protect their daughters not give them away.”

  More tears spilled from her eyes at his empathy.

  “Look at me,” he softly said and placed a gentle hand underneath her chin so he could tilt her head.

  Ruth saw a fierce kind of determination in his eyes.

  “Ruth, I give you my word right now. Immediately after the wedding, we’ll go to New York to look for your daughter.”

  An involuntary hand went up to Ruth’s parted and quivering lips. Shock held her bound for some minutes. Words escaped her.

  “A mother shouldn’t be parted from her daughter, and Maisie needs you.”

  At that moment, Ruth knew for certain that the feelings that had been creeping up in her heart whenever Caleb was near or at the thought of him, were indeed love. She had never loved a man before, but she recognized it and its warmth erased the cold void from her eyes. She wanted to climb the highest mountain and declare it to the whole world, but she swallowed the joy inside her and licked her lips in nervousness. He might not feel the same for her. Even though she was pleased and relieved that he had taken her confession so well and already accepted Maisie in his heart, she wished he would accept her too.

&
nbsp; She opened her mouth to thank him for his understanding and offer of help. But he forestalled her by lifting his large and calloused hands to cup her face and her words died in her throat when what she saw in his eyes gladdened her heart.

  “Ruth, I’ve fallen irresistibly in love with you. You’re everything I want in a woman and the thought of losing you has been causing me sleepless nights. I want to officially ask you to be my wife. Will you marry me, Ruth?”

  Ruth exhaled to stop her eyes from overflowing again. This was a dream come true. After the past horror, she had never expected to ever fall in love or have it reciprocated. The tears she was fighting fell unimpeded.

  “A reply would be nice,” he spoke into the tense silence and Ruth heard the nervousness in his voice.

  She laughed uneasily, realizing that he deserved a reply. He wiped the tears from her eyes with profound tenderness.

  “Yes. I’ll marry you, Caleb Mason,” she confirmed with joy, making her eyes even bluer.

  His dark eyes had a look of disbelief. “Really?’

  She laughed. “Yes, really and I love you too and would want nothing more than to be your wife. My first experience was nothing to write home about with the exception of producing my daughter, but yes, I’m sure. This time will be far better because now I know the meaning of true love.”

  “Oh Ruth, you’ve made me the happiest man in the world,” he declared and drew her into the arms.

  “I’m the happiest woman in the world right now,” she affirmed happily and laughed again. “I can’t wait to give you children.” She felt him stiffen but disregarded it as her imagining. “I can’t wait to have a son with dark hair and dark eyes who looks just like you.”

  When he pulled away and she saw his face darkening, she knew then that she hadn’t imagined the tremor that ran through his big body as she described the son she would love to give him.

  He pushed his tall frame abruptly from the bed, leaving her dumbfounded.

  “Um…sorry, I’ve got to check on cows who are about calving…I…er…I’ll see you later.” His quick strides took him to her door.

  “What about breakfast?” she managed to ask from the recesses of her numb state before he left the room.

  “I’m not that hungry,” he replied with his back to her. “I might also not come for lunch. It depends on how the calving goes. See you later.”

  When he was gone, Ruth wondered if she had only imagined his declaration of love and his proposal. A slow dread crept up her spine. David had only wanted a son and now it seemed as if Caleb didn’t want any children at all. But why? Why would such a kind and wonderful man not want children? Had he also lost a child? Was a bad childhood the reason?

  Joy she had felt only a few minutes ago seeped from her body and sadness took over. But he had accepted Maisie, then why not his own child? Or were they just mere words to get her to marry him? Would he stop her from going in search of her daughter once they were married? She shook her head. The man she had come to know and love wasn’t like that.

  “Oh, Maisie,” she wept and wished for the umpteenth time that her daughter was there in her arms.

  Ruth had no idea that her parents and Nanny Brown were already on a train bound for Montana, with her lost but found daughter.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Happy Endings

  Ruth knew matters were amiss when Caleb didn’t come home for lunch and was late for dinner. His excuse was that the calving had been long and hard. He avoided her eyes over the meal so much so that Tucker noticed the awkward silence between them. Not one to mince words, Tucker looked from Ruth picking at her food to Caleb hurriedly wolfing down his food with a bowed head.

  “You two quarreling or what?” he asked with a grin.

  Ruth blushed terribly while Caleb threw him a dark look. Enjoying their reactions, the foreman took a spoonful of his mashed potatoes and grinned broadly.

  “Anyway, it’s fine for couples to quarrel. It’s not really that big a deal.”

  “We didn’t quarrel,” Caleb snapped in anger. “Let it go.”

  Tucker’s brows arched and his grin widened. His boss’s bad mood was a testament to goings on between them. And he was sure not going to let it go.

  “Well, I’m just saying, every evening I look forward to hearing the two of you talk nonstop but now this place is as silent as a cemetery and I must say that I’m not liking it at all.”

  In response, Caleb shoved his chair back and stormed out of the kitchen. Tucker chortled with enjoyment and Ruth couldn’t help the smile that flashed across her face. Tucker was quite a character and she loved watching him rile his boss, but she wished he hadn’t done so on this occasion. She would have liked the opportunity to talk to Caleb about his reason for avoiding her and why it seemed as if he didn’t want children.

  She bit her bottom lip and studied Tucker as he finished his dinner. She toyed with the idea of asking him about Caleb’s past but felt she would be violating his privacy. She would just have to wait until he was good and ready to tell her everything. Or catch him crying and vulnerable. A giggle went up inside her.

  “That was delicious,” Tucker complimented as he patted his stomach with a satisfied smile.

  “Thank you,” she replied with a smile of her own and drew her chair back to remove her uneaten dinner and his empty plate.

  “You should eat,” he commented, nodding at her plate. “Don’t worry about him. Caleb will come around. He usually just has bad mood spells when he remembers what…”

  Tucker’s gaze quickly left hers and settled on the table. Ruth smiled warmly. This was the opening she needed to dive into a conversation about the man she was about to marry, but she couldn’t do it. She knew the old man was expecting her to probe but she remained silent. He got the message and pushed himself to his feet.

  “I’m sorry, Tucker. I know he will open up when it’s the right time.”

  Tucker nodded with understanding. Caleb couldn’t have wished for a better woman. A woman might have used the opportunity to get information, but not Ruth. Her kind was rare.

  “I’m so glad Caleb is marrying you,” he told her and quickly left when he saw tears glistening in her eyes.

  He went to the bunkhouse and verbally chewed Caleb’s hide for upsetting the best suited woman for him in the world. It was then that he understood his boss’s dilemma.

  “I don’t see why you just can’t tell her. She confided in you about her past. So reciprocate.”

  From his position on the bed, Caleb sighed. “It isn’t that easy, Tucker. They’re two different scenarios. She might not react well.”

  “Really? Is that what you’re going with?”

  He angrily sat up on the bed. “You don’t get it, do you? No woman has ever seen my scars. Only you and a few of the men have ever seen them, so excuse me for being mighty skeptical about showing her.”

  His foreman waved a nonchalant hand. “Oh, please. That’s a dumb excuse. You’re just scared, and you insist on holding on to the one thing that has made you push women away for years. If you truly love her, you will go to her right now and tell her everything - and stop feeling sorry for yourself.”

  Caleb sighed again and thought it over. Tucker was right. He was just hiding under the cloak which he had used as a shield for years. It was hard to let go for fear of disappointment, but he had to for Ruth’s sake. He really did love her even though they wouldn’t have a family. Thank God she already had a daughter. Maisie would be enough for them, he hoped.

  The following morning at breakfast, he tried to tell her but couldn’t. Every time he opened his mouth to say it, the words neither formed in his brain nor did they pass his mouth. So wound up that she kept glancing his way, he stormed out of the house again, as he had done the previous night.

  Ruth was confused by his apparent silence. She knew he was trying to tell her something, but she couldn’t quite fathom what it might be. He was still in his dark mood and she prayed he would snap out of it before
their wedding in two days. She missed him. She missed their talks and she had been hoping that today, if he wasn’t too busy with work, they could go down to the creek for another picnic. But as things stood, she would be lucky to even see him all day. She had heard him telling Tucker that they might have to go to the range that morning and she was aware that it was quite a distance and that he might not return today. If he even returned for the wedding.