by Emilia Finn
“You all suck.” I pull out of my mom’s hold and turn back to Reid. And because he’s still glowering, I slide under his arm and wrap my arms around his hips. Because I’m an asshole, and because Ben won’t stop glaring. “Reid, I’m sorry. This is my family. Family, this is Reid. He’s my boyfriend, he’s important to me, and if you don’t find your manners soon, I’ll take a round in the yard.”
“Thinks she can fight,” Ben scoffs. He lifts a beer to his lips and sends his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows.
When he pulls it away and leaves a drop of liquid on his bottom lip, I curse him, and me, his mother, and probably his cow too, because my eyes stop on that liquid for a second too long. “You know I can fight, Sasquatch. Don’t do this.”
“I know you used to be able to fight.” He takes a step forward and squares his shoulders. He’s grown into that man’s body I knew was coming. He’s taller than ever, broader, bigger. He wears a sweater with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, showing off thick forearms, veiny and throbbing with adrenaline. They’re still without ink, even after all of these years. I don’t know why that pops into my mind, but for the guy that admired the ink that adorns every member of my family for so long, it seems strange to me that he never went ahead and got any done.
Maybe he did. Maybe it’s hidden under his shirt.
And the fact I’m standing under Reid’s arm, but thinking about Ben without a shirt, annoys the shit out of me.
“It’s been years since you were last in the gym, Evelyn.” Ben flattens his lips and stares directly into my eyes. “Sounds to me like you might have gotten soft.”
“I was in the gym just yesterday,” I shoot back.
“The Rollin Gym?”
“No,” I challenge. “Reid’s gym.”
Bean stands behind Ben, grits her teeth, and hisses. “Shots fired. Shots fired.”
We’re talking about gyms, but at the same time, we both know we’re not.
“Membership to the Rollin Gym was revoked years ago, but that doesn’t mean Reid’s gym doesn’t keep me… limber.”
“Oh, damn.” Aunt Tink moves closer and grins.
“Benjamin Conner…” I look him up and down and pretend that my heart doesn’t throb for him. “I’d love for you to formally meet my boyfriend. Reid Baker is a very accomplished fighter in his own right.”
Uncle Jimmy stops beside Aunt Tink with comically wide eyes and gritted teeth.
“He’s really good with the grapple game too,” I continue. “We’ve spent hours and hours, and hours, sweating on the mats while we work on his choke.”
“Nope!” Biggie storms forward and grabs my arm so hard that I’m certain there will be finger-shaped bruises tomorrow. “We’re not doing that. Dinnertime. Everyone get to the fuckin’ dining room.”
It’s like a march to our death. Or perhaps war, which is the same thing, no?
I don’t release Reid’s hand the whole way to the table, because he was my pawn just now, and he’s pissed that I’m stepping up to my ex and discussing our business like it’s a weapon. Reid is a private man, and I’m pissing him off with my lack of control.
The dinner table is extra long to fit everyone, but instead of individual chairs, there are long bench seats that we have to climb over. Biggie sits at the head of the table, and my mom sits on his left, so I sit on the right, and pull Reid down to sit beside me.
Aunt Tink makes a big deal about where she’s going to sit – right beside my mom – but when Ben slowly meanders into the room, she yanks him down so he sits between them.
Directly across from me and Reid.
“Motherfu–” I growl under my breath, but I pause when my mom growls, and instead end my sentence with, “Frick. I was gonna say frick.”
“I doubt you were.” Mom’s icy blue eyes stare directly into mine. “You’ve never said ‘frick’ in your life, Evelyn, so don’t lie to me.”
“Ben, honey.” Aunt Tink reaches across the table and snags a turkey leg. She doesn’t use utensils, just her hands, and when she dumps the greasy leg on his plate, she snatches Ben’s napkin and wipes up. “Saved the best piece for you. You’re a growing boy and all that shit.”
“Thanks, Titi.” He glances up and stares right into my fucking eyes. Then he grins. “So… Evelyn…” He bites his bottom lip, not in an intentional seduction, but more of a cruel ‘I’m gonna fuck you up’ kind of way. “You and Reid, huh? Been dating long?”
He’s asking if we were dating while he and I were still together. That asshole would imply I cheated, when we both know how we’ve ended up where we have. “About a year.” I don’t back down. I stare right back and dare him to call me out. “I decided there was no reason not to attend a different gym while away, seeing as this one was no longer mine. Saw Reid, said yes when he asked me out.” I cast a glance along the table. “Where’s Nora?”
“Ouch,” Bean hisses. She sits just three people down and watches us like our words are ping-pong balls shooting back and forth.
“Nora?” Ben lifts a brow. “Why would you expect her to be here?”
“Because you’re inseparable, no? Best friends since, like, forever.” I roll my eyes. “How long have you been dating?” Yeah, prick, I expect the answer to be three years.
“We’re not dating,” he grits out. “We’ve never dated.”
“Oh?” My brows shoot high. “Is that, like, your PR response? Did you and Aunt Kit practice that when prepping for the interviews? Deny the scared girl, because she can’t take the heat.”
“You don’t have to pick on her, Evie. Fuck!” Ben slams his beer to the table and leans forward. “She never did anything to hurt you. Not one thing. You project onto her, but she did nothing to bring down the wrath of Evie.”
“No? So I didn’t see her in the cage at your second fight?” I look along my table and study every rapt face. No one said grace. No one said thanks for this dinner. Everyone eats with their fingers, and stares at us like we’re the most interesting thing they’ve ever seen. “You’re all assholes, by the way. You were with him at that fight, eating with her at the buffet in the mornings, but Bean is the only person that had my back.”
“Bean?” Ben’s eyes snap to his half-sister in fiery accusation. “What does she mean Bean had her back?”
“I told her to ask about Nora,” she tosses out. “She needed to know.”
“Know what? That there was a female other than Evie in my life? So fucking what!”
“Swearing,” Kit inserts. “Quit it.”
“So what?” I snap. I reach out and snatch another turkey leg and slam it onto Reid’s plate. He deserves to eat too, and Ben doesn’t get the best stuff. “Fighting is my thing, Sasquatch! It’s mine! And you knew that.”
“I knew what?” he shoots back. “That you’re the only woman ever allowed at a pro fight? You’re being ridiculous.”
“No!” I snatch up a bread roll and fling it at his forehead. “I’m the only woman allowed inside the octagon when my fucking boyfriend is having his hand raised in victory!”
“Swearing,” Aunt Kit repeats. “Stop it.”
“She was scared!” Ben roars. “She was freaking out because of all the noise, so I helped her through it.”
“She shouldn’t have been there!” I stand and press my fists against the table. “Where was your brain, idiot? At what point did you stop and think that taking her was a good idea? You took your new best friend to a fight, and you hoped none of the two hundred cameras would notice her! You took her someplace that was ours, and then you finished it by taking her to the spring.”
“The spring?” Jimmy eats his dinner and looks between me and Ben. “What’s the spring?”
“The spring was ours!” I shout. I’m making a dick of myself. I’m embarrassing Reid. I’m showing my full crazy, when it’s been on lockdown for so long. “That was ours! I’ve never told a fucking soul about it, but you take your other girlfriend there like it’s not a big deal.”
“You haven’t told a soul?” Ben waves a hand along the table. “You’ve just told fifty of your closest and dearest. You just announced it to everyone, so now you know they’re gonna go looking.” He stands and matches my stance. “I didn’t tell a soul. Not one single person. And that includes Nora!”
“How could you–” I pause. “You never took her?”
“No! And to accuse me of doing that was low. But we already knew you were an asshole. I was your best friend anyway, faults and all.”
“I’m not an asshole!”
“Uh…” Aunt Tink clears her throat. “Yeah, honey. You kinda are.”
“You said that you took Nora.” I bring my eyes back to Ben’s and curse their itchiness. “You said.”
“No, you said! And I didn’t have time to deny it, because you never stop fucking talking.”
“Swearing,” Aunt Kit throws down again. “There are children at this table.”
“You still had Nora at the fight,” I huff.
“And you still brought the guy that you swore you weren’t interested in home to meet the family.” Ben sits back on the bench and folds his arms. “I was right. I was right all along; you were attracted, at least a little, which is why I got mad about it.”
“I wasn’t attracted. I was with you! It was a fucking gym, and dudes go there sometimes. What’s the big fucking deal?”
“And Nora was just at a fight. Chicks go to those all the time. What was the big fucking deal?”
“Language!” Kit snaps.
“It’s the same thing!” Ben snaps. “You got mad about Nora being at a fight, and I got mad about you eye-fucking Reid Baker while you were supposed to be working out.”
“I wasn’t eye-fucking him!” I look down to Reid. “I wasn’t eye fucking you! Tell him.”
Reid’s fiery eyes flicker between mine. His jaw grinds with rage and wears the enamel away from his teeth. I don’t know why I looked to him for backup in defending myself to my ex. It’s not like he’s inclined to help.
My family remains stonily quiet as Reid’s eyes flicker to Ben, then pursing his lips, he stands and steps over the bench seat. “When you decide to stop disrespecting me in front of your whole family, come out and find me. I’ll be the guy walking in the snow in a town I’ve never been in before, waiting for his girlfriend to stop flirting with her ex.”
“Flirting?” My head snaps back as though he hit me. “What the eff are you talking about?”
“Come find me when you’re ready to be a grownup.” He takes his turkey leg in one hand and walks out of our kitchen and through the living room. A moment later, the front door opens and closes, then the only noise is that of the twin boys snickering and shoving handfuls of food into their mouths.
“Shit,” I hiss. I drop down onto the bench and bury my face in my hands. One second. Two. Three. Pulling in a long breath, I let it out again and look up to meet Biggie’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I’ve ruined dinner, and I’ve disrespected my family by doing that.” I look to Uncle Bobby. This is his home. “I’m sorry, B. I love you.”
I give Ben one last glance, then climbing over the bench, I head through the living room and snatch a coat and hat on my way out the door to find Reid.
I can’t believe I let Ben goad me into that shit-flinging match. In front of my family. And in front of Reid.
Ben
It’s Over
“Well you’re a dumbshit.” Tink stops by my side on the front porch and leans against me to battle the chill. I stand by the front door with my arms folded and my eyes on the couple standing at the very end of the driveway by the gates. They’re not close enough that I can overhear their words, but I can see them. I see every fucking move they make, and that includes the way Evie winds her arms around that prick’s neck and stands on her toes to kiss him.
She fucking kisses him right in front of me.
“She’s lost to me, T.” I reach out and hug the tiny fairy to my side when she shivers. “She goes to him. She comforts him.” I shake my head and try to swallow the grief that tries to choke me. “I know what you tried to do by having us all here at the same time, but it didn’t work. I told her that I love her, but she goes to him anyway.”
“You are blind if you don’t see what I see.” Tink pulls back and lifts a sculpted brow. “She threw bread at you.”
I reach up and rub the part of my forehead she hit. “Yeah, I know. I was there.”
“Love is amazing, Ben. And hate is just as passionate. Arguing is fine, and screaming is better. Swearing is merely a person’s passion in word form.”
I purse my lips.
She continues when I don’t. “When people stop biting back, that’s when they don’t care. That’s when you’ve lost her. But for as long as she squares up to you, you still have a chance.” She looks to the couple at the end of the driveway. “She’s standing with him, but she’s thinking about you, I promise.”
I shake my head. “It’s wishful thinking. You don’t want her to stay with him, because if she does, you run the risk of her staying there, rather than here.”
“This is true. She might make that choice, but you know what?” She studies my eyes. “If she stays where he is, then we’ll pack up and move. Four years was hard, but it’s school, so we made do and knew there was an end date.” She steps to the front door and rests her hand on the handle. “She’s never allowed to leave us for good, so who she ends up with doesn’t much matter to me – we’ll still end up living in the same space again. You’re the only one that has something to lose this week.”
“I don’t know what to do.” I turn back to study the couple. Reid’s hands massage Evie’s hips. They dwarf her body and knead like he thinks he has the right to touch. “I don’t know how to fix the hurt.”
“You have to smack her over the head with your truths. You never dated Nora?”
I shake my head. “Not once. Not even for a minute.”
“But she’s your friend?” She raises a brow. “Your best friend, even?”
“She’s my best friend,” I swallow. “And I can’t ditch her because Evie is jealous. I couldn’t live with myself if I let her get away with that shit.”
“You wanna know what I think?” When I nod, she continues. “I don’t think you could love Evie if you let her get away with it either. The honeymoon phase would be hot and fun, but eventually, real life will settle in, and you’ll find the bitterness. When you’re settled into domestic bliss with our Smalls, you’ll realize you’ve left Nora flapping in the wind, and your troubles will start all over again when you want to go to her.”
“I don’t know how to fix this.” I run a hand over my face. “Nora isn’t like that for me. I honestly think of her like a sister. Like, to think of her kissing people grosses me out. To think of her dating makes me want to Hulk-smash and make sure the guy is worthy. To think of her being abandoned for a girlfriend…” I shake my head. “I would never do that to Livi or Bean, which means I can’t do it to Nora.”
“Your protective side was always gonna get you in trouble.” Tink opens the door and steps through. “You can’t help but save the damsels, and deep down, I know Evie loves that about you. She’s not your damsel. She doesn’t need anyone’s help, but she still loves that side of you.”
“So what do I do?” I plead. “How do I reconcile these two facets of my life?”
“Hell if I know,” Tink laughs. “I’m the jealous type too. If that was me and Jon, I’d have torn him apart too. The difference is,” she points at Evie and Reid, “not in a million years would he stand back and watch me kiss another dude.”
“You think I should body bag the guy? I might know some guys…”
She laughs. “We know the same guys. And no, I don’t think you should murder him. I also don’t think you can get rid of him. She needs to make the choice, and there’s not a damn thing you, or I, or even Biggie can say or do that’ll get rid of the dude. She needs to make the choice to brush him off.”
“A
nd if she doesn’t?” I voice my worst fears and shove my shaking hands into my pockets before they worsen. “What if she chooses him?”
Tink shrugs. “Then I guess the best man will have won.”
I make my way to the Kincaid estate the next morning – Christmas morning – and refuse my mind the chance to wonder where Reid slept last night. I fucking refuse to entertain the idea that maybe Aiden relented and let his kid have a sleepover.
Obviously, she’s not under lock and key at college, so we all know they’re together there, but here… I feel like it might break my heart if I find out Reid slept in her bed last night and snuggled her stuffed puppy while they counted down the seconds until Christmas began.
I’m back, and I vow to not let her bait me today.
It’s Christmas morning, and though I have my own family to celebrate with, settling things here takes priority. I will always have my family, but Evie will be gone again in just a few days, and if she leaves this place with him, then I might spend the rest of my life hating myself for letting her go.
I pull my truck into the driveway and park outside Bobby’s house. His home is where everyone convenes. It’s where the family gather, despite every house in this estate being the same size and layout. I pull the handbrake up and sit for just a moment while the noise inside the house penetrates the walls and snow to reach me. Between them, they have a dozen kids – literally. Add in five couples, the Rollers’ grandmother and matriarch, Nelly, Reid, and now me, that makes twenty-five bodies in one home. And eighty percent of them are fighters. Large fighters. With bad attitudes.
Fuck.
Unbuckling, I swing out of the truck in jeans and a fitted long sleeve shirt. Yes, it fits well, and yes, it shows off pecs that I know Evie likes. Fuck it, I’m here to win, and leaving this particular shirt at home would have been a lazy mistake.
I pocket my keys and reach back into the truck for my small pile of gifts. I don’t need to buy the guys anything, and I sure as hell am not buying Reid something, so I take my small pile and slam the truck door closed. Snow crunches under my feet as I cross the grass, and when I reach the porch steps, I kick my heels to dislodge loose snow. Before I can go the rest of the way and knock on the door, it opens with an ominous groan. Aiden steps outside and closes the door again, his actions sending my heart into a tailspin that ends with what I’m certain is a blood clot that’ll kill me.