Chatter

by Ethan Kross

  not having a strong social-support network: Julianne Holt-Lunstad, Timothy B. Smith, and J. Bradley Layton, “Social Relationships and Mortality Risk: A Meta-analytic Review,” PLOS Medicine 7 (2010): e1000316.

  transdiagnostic risk factor: Susan Nolen-Hoeksema and Edward R. Watkins, “A Heuristic for Developing Transdiagnostic Models of Psychopathology: Explaining Multifinality and Divergent Trajectories,” Perspectives on Psychological Science 6 (2011): 589–609; Katie A. McLaughlin et al., “Rumination as a Transdiagnostic Factor Underlying Transitions Between Internalizing Symptoms and Aggressive Behavior in Early Adolescents,” Journal of Abnormal Psychology 123 (2014): 13–23; Edward R. Watkins, “Depressive Rumination and Co-morbidity: Evidence for Brooding as a Transdiagnostic Process,” Journal of Rational-Emotive and Cognitive-Behavior Therapy 27 (2009): 160–75; Douglas S. Mennin and David M. Fresco, “What, Me Worry and Ruminate About DSM-5 and RDoC? The Importance of Targeting Negative Self-Referential Processing,” Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice 20 (2013): 258–267; and Brosschot, “Markers of Chronic Stress.”

  DNA is like a piano: I drew on the following sources to make the connection between gene expression and playing a musical instrument: Jane Qiu, “Unfinished Symphony,” Nature 441 (2006): 143–145; and University of Texas Health Science Center at San Antonio, “Study Gives Clue as to How Notes Are Played on the Genetic Piano,” EurekAlert!, May 12, 2011, www.eurekalert.org/​pub_releases/​2011-05/​uoth-sgc051011.php.

  Steve Cole: Steven W. Cole, “Social Regulation of Human Gene Expression,” American Journal of Public Health 103 (2013): S84–S92. I also drew on the following talk that Steve delivered at Stanford: “Meng-Wu Lecture” (lecture delivered at the Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education, Nov. 12, 2013), ccare.stanford.edu/​videos/​meng-wu-lecture-steve-cole-ph-d/.

  inflammation genes: George M. Slavich and Michael R. Irwin, “From Stress to Inflammation and Major Depressive Disorder: A Social Signal Transduction Theory of Depression,” Psychological Bulletin 140 (2014): 774–815; Steve W. Cole et al., “Social Regulation of Gene Expression in Human Leukocytes,” Genome Biology 8 (2007): R189; and Gregory E. Miller, Edith Chen, and Karen J. Parker, “Psychological Stress in Childhood and Susceptibility to the Chronic Diseases of Aging: Moving Towards a Model of Behavioral and Biological Mechanisms,” Psychological Bulletin 137 (2011): 959–997.

  illnesses and infections: Chatter also extends its tentacles around our DNA in another fashion—through our telomeres. Telomeres are little caps at the end of our chromosomes that protect our DNA from unraveling in ways that affect our health and longevity. Short telomeres contribute to a host of age-related diseases. Fortunately, we all have a chemical in our body called telomerase that is capable of preserving the length of our telomeres. The problem is, stress hormones like cortisol deplete our body of this chemical, speeding up the rate at which our telomeres shorten.

  In 2004, Elissa Epel, Nobel laureate Elizabeth Blackburn, and their colleagues published a landmark study examining the relationship between how stressed women felt over a ten-month period and their telomere length. As expected, they found that the more stressed the women felt—stress, of course, being a trigger for chatter, and chatter a driver of chronic stress—the shorter their telomeres. Even more dramatic, the most stressed women had telomeres that were equivalent to over a decade shorter than the least stressed women. Elissa S. Epel et al., “Accelerated Telomere Shortening in Response to Life Stress,” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences 101 (2004): 17312–17315.

  For a detailed review, see Elizabeth H. Blackburn and Elissa S. Epel, The Telomere Effect (New York: Grand Central Publishing, 2017). Also see Elizabeth Blackburn, Elissa S. Epel, and Jue Lin, “Human Telomere Biology: A Contributory and Interactive Factor in Aging, Disease Risks, and Protection,” Science 350 (2015): 1193–1198; and Kelly E. Rentscher et al., “Psychosocial Stressors and Telomere Length: A Current Review of the Science,” Annual Review of Public Health 41 (2020): 223–245.

  nearly twenty years: Matt Kelly, “This Thirty-Nine-Year-Old Is Attempting a Comeback,” MLB.com, August 2, 2018, https://www.mlb.com/​news/​rick-ankiel-to-attempt-comeback-c288544452 (retrieved February 9, 2020).

  Chapter Three: Zooming Out

  “Have you ever killed someone?”: I changed the name and several other details in this story to preserve my former student’s anonymity. All other aspects of the story are true. I also consulted with a published profile, which I don’t cite here to protect her anonymity.

  the brain regions: Ethan Kross et al., “Coping with Emotions Past: The Neural Bases of Regulating Affect Associated with Negative Autobiographical Memories,” Biological Psychiatry 65 (2009): 361–366; and Ayna Baladi Nejad, Philippe Fossati, and Cedric Lemogne, “Self-Referential Processing, Rumination, and Cortical Midline Structures in Major Depression,” Frontiers in Human Neuroscience 7 (2013): 666.

  zoom out: Ethan Kross and Özlem Ayduk, “Self-Distancing: Theory, Research, and Current Directions,” in Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, eds. J. Olson and M. Zanna (Amsterdam: Elsevier, 2017), 81–136; and John P. Powers and Kevin S. LaBar, “Regulating Emotion Through Distancing: A Taxonomy, Neurocognitive Model, and Supporting Meta-analysis,” Neuroscience and Biobehavioral Reviews 96 (2019): 155–173.

  psychological immune system: See Daniel T. Gilbert et al., “Immune Neglect: A Source of Durability Bias in Affective Forecasting,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 75 (1998): 617–638, for an introduction to the concept of a psychological immune system.

  paradigm for studying self-control: Walter Mischel, The Marshmallow Test: Mastering Self-Control (New York: Little, Brown, 2014); and Walter Mischel, Yuichi Shoda, and Monica Rodriguez, “Delay of Gratification in Children,” Science 244 (1989): 933–938.

  battling inner-voice rumination: Özlem Ayduk, Walter Mischel, and Geraldine Downey, “Attentional Mechanisms Linking Rejection to Hostile Reactivity: The Role of ‘Hot’ Versus ‘Cool’ Focus,” Psychological Science 13 (2002): 443–448. Also see Cheryl L. Rusting and Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, “Regulating Responses to Anger: Effects of Rumination and Distraction on Angry Mood,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 74 (1998): 790–803.

  The downside of this approach: Ethan Kross and Özlem Ayduk, “Facilitating Adaptive Emotional Analysis: Distinguishing Distanced-Analysis of Depressive Experiences from Immersed-Analysis and Distraction,” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 34 (2008): 924–938.

  tool that therapists should employ: Aaron T. Beck, “Cognitive Therapy: Nature and Relation to Behavior Therapy,” Behavior Therapy 1 (1970): 184–200. Also see Rick E. Ingram and Steven Hollon, “Cognitive Therapy for Depression from an Information Processing Perspective,” in Personality, Psychopathology, and Psychotherapy Series: Information Processing Approaches to Clinical Psychology, ed. R. E. Ingram (San Diego: Academic Press, 1986), 259–281.

  not thinking about your problems: For a classic review of research pointing to the harmful effects of avoidance, see Edna B. Foa and Michael J. Kozak, “Emotional Processing of Fear: Exposure to Corrective Information,” Psychological Bulletin 99 (1986): 20–35. As I mention in the text, people can distance to achieve different goals (i.e., to avoid their emotions, to mindfully accept them, to approach and analyze them). Like a hammer that can be used to pound a nail into the wall or rip it out, distancing has multiple applications. And like any tool, whether it’s helpful or harmful depends on how and why people use it. In the work reviewed in this section of the chapter, I focus on a context in which research indicates that distancing is helpful: to aid people in their attempts to actively reflect on and make sense of their negative experiences. For a more detailed discussion of these issues, see the conclusion and Ethan Kross and Özlem Ayduk, “Self-Distancing: Theory, Research, and Current Directions.”

  powerful optical device: Georgia N
igro and Ulric Neisser, “Point of View in Personal Memories,” Cognitive Psychology 15 (1983): 467–482; John A. Robinson and Karen L. Swanson, “Field and Observer Modes of Remembering,” Memory 1 (1993): 169–184. People tend to recall intense negative experiences from a self-immersed/first person perspective: Arnaud D’Argembau, “Phenomenal Characteristics of Autobiographical Memories for Positive, Negative, and Neutral Events,” Applied Cognitive Psychology 17 (2003): 281–294; and Heather K. McIsaac and Eric Eich, “Vantage Point in Episodic Memory,” Psychonomic Bulletin and Review 9 (2002): 146–150. However, memories of trauma and self-conscious experiences are more likely to be recalled from a self-distanced/observer perspective: Lucy M. Kenny et al., “Distant Memories: A Prospective Study of Vantage Point of Trauma Memories,” Psychological Science 20 (2009): 1049–1052; and Meredith E. Coles et al., “Effects of Varying Levels of Anxiety Within Social Situations: Relationship to Memory Perspective and Attributions in Social Phobia,” Behaviour Research and Therapy 39 (2001): 651–665. For discussion of the implications of this distinction for emotion regulation, see Ethan Kross and Özlem Ayduk, “Self-Distancing: Theory, Research, and Current Directions.”

  fly-on-the-wall perspective: Ethan Kross, Özlem Ayduk, and Walter Mischel, “When Asking ‘Why’ Does Not Hurt: Distinguishing Rumination from Reflective Processing of Negative Emotions,” Psychological Science 16 (2005): 709–715.

  differences in the verbal stream: The examples of verbal streams that I cite were pulled from Ethan Kross and Özlem Ayduk, “Making Meaning out of Negative Experiences by Self-Distancing,” Current Directions in Psychological Science 20 (2011): 187–191.

  response to stress: Özlem Ayduk and Ethan Kross, “Enhancing the Pace of Recovery: Self-Distanced Analysis of Negative Experiences Reduces Blood Pressure Reactivity,” Psychological Science 19 (2008): 229–231. Also see Rebecca F. Ray, Frank H. Wilhelm, and James J. Gross, “All in the Mind’s Eye? Anger Rumination and Reappraisal,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 94 (2008): 133–145.

  dampened emotional activity in the brain: Brittany M. Christian et al., “When Imagining Yourself in Pain, Visual Perspective Matters: The Neural and Behavioral Correlates of Simulated Sensory Experiences,” Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience 27 (2015): 866–875.

  less hostility and aggression: Dominik Mischkowski, Ethan Kross, and Brad Bushman, “Flies on the Wall Are Less Aggressive: Self-Distancing ‘in the Heat of the Moment’ Reduces Aggressive Thoughts, Angry Feelings, and Aggressive Behavior,” Journal of Experimental Social Psychology 48 (2012): 1187–1191. Also see Tamara M. Pfeiler et al., “Adaptive Modes of Rumination: The Role of Subjective Anger,” Cognition and Emotion 31 (2017): 580–589.

  people with depression: Ethan Kross et al., “ ‘Asking Why’ from a Distance: Its Cognitive and Emotional Consequences for People with Major Depressive Disorder,” Journal of Abnormal Psychology 121 (2012): 559–569; Ethan Kross and Özlem Ayduk, “Boundary Conditions and Buffering Effects: Does Depressive Symptomology Moderate the Effectiveness of Distanced-Analysis for Facilitating Adaptive Self-Reflection?,” Journal of Research in Personality 43 (2009): 923–927; Emma Travers-Hill et al., “Beneficial Effects of Training in Self-Distancing and Perspective Broadening for People with a History of Recurrent Depression,” Behaviour Research and Therapy 95 (2017): 19–28. For a summary of research on the clinical implications of distancing and a discussion of how it operates under different conditions, see Ethan Kross and Özlem Ayduk, “Self-Distancing: Theory, Research, and Current Directions.”

  highly anxious parents: Louis A. Penner et al., “Self-Distancing Buffers High Trait Anxious Pediatric Cancer Caregivers Against Short- and Longer-Term Distress,” Clinical Psychological Science 4 (2016): 629–640.

  Philippe Verduyn: Philippe Verduyn et al., “The Relationship Between Self-Distancing and the Duration of Negative and Positive Emotional Experiences in Daily Life,” Emotion 12 (2012): 1248–1263. For a conceptual replication of the finding demonstrating that distancing reduces positive affect, see June Gruber, Allison G. Harvey, and Sheri L. Johnson, “Reflective and Ruminative Processing of Positive Emotional Memories in Bipolar Disorder and Healthy Controls,” Behaviour Research and Therapy 47 (2009): 697–704. For experimental data supporting the delayed benefits of distancing, see Kross and Ayduk, “Facilitating Adaptive Emotional Analysis.”

  we are all prone: Özlem Ayduk and Ethan Kross, “From a Distance: Implications of Spontaneous Self-Distancing for Adaptive Self-Reflection,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 98 (2010): 809–829.

  Researchers at Stanford: Ray, Wilhelm, and Gross, “All in the Mind’s Eye?”

  Across the Atlantic: Patricia E. Schartau, Tim Dalgleish, and Barnaby D. Dunn, “Seeing the Bigger Picture: Training in Perspective Broadening Reduces Self-Reported Affect and Psychophysiological Response to Distressing Films and Autobiographical Memories,” Journal of Abnormal Psychology 118 (2009): 15–27.

  shrinking the size of an image: Joshua Ian Davis, James J. Gross, and Kevin N. Ochsner, “Psychological Distance and Emotional Experience: What You See Is What You Get,” Emotion 11 (2011): 438–444.

  higher GPAs: David S. Yeager et al., “Boring but Important: A Self-Transcendent Purpose for Learning Fosters Academic Self-Regulation,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 107 (2014): 558–580.

  1010 B.C.E.: John S. Knox, “Solomon,” Ancient History Encyclopedia, Jan. 25, 2017, www.ancient.eu/​solomon/.

  As the Bible tells us: Robert Alter, The Hebrew Bible: A Translation with Commentary (New York: W. W. Norton, 2018).

  “Solomon’s Paradox”: Igor Grossmann and Ethan Kross, “Exploring Solomon’s Paradox: Self-Distancing Eliminates the Self-Other Asymmetry in Wise Reasoning About Close Relationships in Younger and Older Adults,” Psychological Science 25 (2014): 1571–1580.

  Lincoln later reflected: Doris Kearns Goodwin, Team of Rivals (New York: Simon & Schuster, 2005).

  what wisdom actually is: Igor Grossmann, “Wisdom in Context,” Perspectives on Psychological Science 12 (2017): 233–257.

  associate wisdom with advanced age: Igor Grossmann et al., “Reasoning About Social Conflicts Improves into Old Age,” PNAS 107 (2010): 7246–7250. Also see Darrell A. Worthy et al., “With Age Comes Wisdom: Decision Making in Younger and Older Adults,” Psychological Science 22 (2011): 1375–1380.

  happening to someone else: Grossmann and Kross, “Exploring Solomon’s Paradox”; and Alex C. Huynh et al., “The Wisdom in Virtue: Pursuit of Virtue Predicts Wise Reasoning About Personal Conflicts,” Psychological Science 28 (2017): 1848–1856.

  choose to do nothing: This tendency is referred to as the omission bias. Ilana Ritov and Jonathan Baron, “Reluctance to Vaccinate: Omission Bias and Ambiguity,” Journal of Behavioral Decision Making 3 (1990): 263–277.

  and this is a big but: This study included three different conditions in which people were asked to make medical decisions for someone other than the self. Participants were randomly assigned to assume the role of a physician making a decision for a patient, a medical director setting treatment policy for all patients, or a parent making a decision for a child. Each of these “making a decision for someone else” conditions produced judgments that were equivalent to one another and superior compared with when participants decided for themselves. I averaged across the response rates for all three conditions for the purpose of text. Brian J. Zikmund-Fisher et al., “A Matter of Perspective: Choosing for Others Differs from Choosing for Yourself in Making Treatment Decisions,” Journal of General Internal Medicine 21 (2006): 618–622.

  18 million: Global Cancer Observatory, “Globocan 2018,” International Agency for Research on Cancer, World Health Organization, 1, gco.iarc.fr/​today/​data/​factsheets/​cancers/​39-All-cancers-fact-sheet.pdf.

  avoid an “inside view”: Daniel Kahneman, Thinking, Fast and Slow (New York: Farrar
, Straus and Giroux, 2011).

  decision making more generally: Qingzhou Sun et al., “Self-Distancing Reduces Probability-Weighting Biases,” Frontiers in Psychology 9 (2018): 611.

  information overload: Jun Fukukura, Melissa J. Ferguson, and Kentaro Fujita, “Psychological Distance Can Improve Decision Making Under Information Overload via Gist Memory,” Journal of Experimental Psychology: General 142 (2013): 658–665.

  roll back “loss aversion”: Evan Polman, “Self-Other Decision Making and Loss Aversion,” Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes 119 (2012): 141–150; Flavia Mengarelli et al., “Economic Decisions for Others: An Exception to Loss Aversion Law,” PLoS One 9 (2014): e85042; and Ola Andersson et al., “Deciding for Others Reduces Loss Aversion,” Management Science 62 (2014): 29–36.

  2008 U.S. presidential election: Ethan Kross and Igor Grossmann, “Boosting Wisdom: Distance from the Self Enhances Wise Reasoning, Attitudes, and Behavior,” Journal of Experimental Psychology: General 141 (2012): 43–48.

  eased the conflict: Özlem Ayduk and Ethan Kross, “From a Distance: Implications of Spontaneous Self-Distancing for Adaptive Self-Reflection.”

  buffered against romantic decline: Eli J. Finkel et al., “A Brief Intervention to Promote Conflict Reappraisal Preserves Marital Quality over Time,” Psychological Science 24 (2013): 1595–1601.