by Evie Monroe
“Jesus fucking Christ!” Cullen muttered as Viktor charged me, his shoulders and all his three hundred pounds of solid muscle hitting me in the abdomen. He backed me all the way up to the wall. I blocked his shot, but I was cornered. As close to dead meat as I’d ever been.
But I wasn’t worried. When it came to fighting, I had ego, because it was deserved. I didn’t lose. Didn’t matter how big the asshole was. And yeah, Viktor was a lot bigger than me, but all I had to do was imagine his massive body on top of Sasha’s. It would’ve filled my fists with enough white-hot power to pummel him into nothing more than a splotch on the ground.
Hart and Drake ran to the fight, trying to pull him off me, but I didn’t need them. I held my own, blocking his punches and delivering some of my own . . . smiling the whole time. It brought me nothing but joy to get this asshole riled.
“Holy shit just stop it, assholes,” Nix said. I could see frustration replacing the blind rage in Viktor’s eyes. He kept going for the kill punch, and I kept blocking him and getting in shots of my own. I’d gotten in a good one, right in his nose, and now he was bleeding from both nostrils. Me? This was just a walk in the park for me. A little sweat, and a little heavy breathing, but this was just a nice workout.
Nix and Jet got into it, finally getting between us. When Nix threw his body in the middle of things and Cullen finally said, “Hey. Now. Stop it,” Viktor’s eyes finally fell on him.
He shoved me and backed away, adjusting his tie. “I don’t need this bullshit. You hear me?”
Then he turned on his heel, grabbed his phone and briefcase from the place where he’d set them, and stalked toward the door.
Good.
My brothers didn’t look very happy, though. Cullen wasn’t one to get worried about things, but even I had to say, he looked as close to concerned as I’d ever seen him.
“Wait, where are you going?” he called after Viktor as the asshole reached the door and yanked it open with force.
“I’m leaving. The deal’s off,” he growled bluntly.
“Hold on,” Cullen said, giving me the stink-eye and heading off after him. He ran out the door, but a second later, returned, raking his hands through his hair. “He’s fucking driven off. Great. Great! Do you even want to be in this fucking club, Zain?”
It wasn’t often I saw Cullen so riled. I gloated over my win for about three more seconds, but then Cullen’s eyes fell on me, hard and accusing, and I started feeling like he wanted me to feel. Like shit.
“Jesus Christ, Zain. You want to destroy the Cobras? Is that what you want?”
I didn’t answer. I was still holding on to that little sliver of smugness for getting the best of that wife-abusing motherfucker. But the more Cullen waited, urging me to answer, the more of it trickled away.
“Well?” he said, coming over to me and crossing his arms, waiting for my explanation. He got right in my face so I had to look at him. He was known for being one calm fucker, but now, I could feel the anger coming off him in hot waves.
I shrugged. “Well what?”
He looked about ready to punch me himself. “What the fuck was that little display for? Answer me! You really want to bury the Cobras? Is that it?”
I shook my head.
“No? Are you sure, fucker?” He shoved me in the chest. “Because that’s what it looked like back there!”
I looked beyond him, and a couple of my other brothers—Hart, getting another beer, and Nix, just staring at me like he backed up Cullen’s every word and hated the hell out of me. Yeah, they were my brothers, but there was one thing that mattered more than brothers. The Cobras themselves. And I guess I’d just gone and shit all over them.
Not to mention, I’d promised Sasha I wouldn’t do what I’d just done. I said I wouldn’t let Viktor know that I knew Sasha.
But I couldn’t help it. I ran right into it. It was like I wanted to fuck that guy up so bad, I didn’t care who I had to hurt in order to do it. Sometimes my sense of justice got the better of me. And that guy needed to be put in his place.
But maybe I shouldn’t have been the one to do it.
What the fuck was wrong with me? The guy was an asshole. What was I . . . jealous that he he’d had a family with Sasha before me?
No, that was wrong. I didn’t want that.
Cullen dragged his hands down his face. “I’ve just spent the better part of a week getting that man up to speed on our business so that I could convince him that our club was worth fighting for. He’d finally agreed that we needed to make a move, and quick, and you just went and tore apart the whole fucking deal in one minute. Why?”
I hitched a shoulder. “Because—”
“Don’t.” He held up a hand. “Because whatever answer you have ain’t good enough. I don’t want to hear it.”
I closed my mouth and prepared myself for the rest of his wrath. Instead, he turned away and stalked about three steps before railing on me.
“You’re fuckin’ his girl, is that it? And you don’t like the fact that he got to her first, so you felt you needed to get your digs in. I hope you’re Goddamn happy. What a fucking waste.”
“Not a waste,” I murmured. “He was married to her. He abused her, the whole time they were married. He’s an ass—”
“I don’t fucking care if he killed her!” Cullen boomed; his eyes full of fire.
That, I never thought I’d hear Cullen say. I never thought I’d hear a Cobra say that. We didn’t work that way. “Fine. If that’s the way you feel. But I do care. And I know what’s right.”
He shook his head and a small, ironic smile came over his face. “Good for you. But you don’t let it get in front of Cobra business. I don’t fucking care if he mass-murdered a thousand women. None of that concerns me, Zain. What does? The Fury, and they’re breathing down our necks worse than ever. We had a way of getting out without killing ourselves in the process. He was it. And now he’s gone.”
I looked over at Nix, who was hanging his head. Not interceding meant he agreed with Cullen. Scanning the other faces of the men, not a single one looked at me. Their silence felt like condemnation.
Maybe I had no one on my side in this.
“Sometimes I think you’re still working for the Fury,” he muttered, rubbing his eyes. “Sometimes I think you forget what they did to you.”
That was wrong. I remembered. I remembered all those months of watching my back, waiting for them to strike, after I’d told them I was done. But I’d deal with it all for the rest of my life rather than fight next to Viktor Kotov.
I didn’t care. Right is right. If the Cobras died doing what was right, at least we wouldn’t die next to a total scumbag.
“And asshole or not, you will work with him. If I manage to get him back, which I don’t even know if it’s possible right now.”
I thrust my hands into the pockets of my jeans and averted my eyes, ignoring him.
That pissed him off. “You hear me, Zain? In fact, I want you to go and get him back yourself. It’s the least you can do for us. Get on your motherfuckin’ knees and beg him if you have to. Suck his fuckin’ dick. I don’t care. I want him on our side. You got that? Or else you’re out of this club.”
My eyes snapped to his. He couldn’t be serious.
He wanted me to go down on my hands and knees in front of Viktor? Suck his dick? Show him what a pussy we were?
Fuck that.
Viktor would just love that. Relish it. He was all for blatant displays of power. I hated that son of a bitch. And no one ever told me to bend over and take anything.
I’d never directly disobeyed an order from my president. But this was one I couldn’t carry out. No fucking way.
“Then I guess I’m out,” I said coolly, grabbing my helmet and striding to the exit, as something occurred to me.
Viktor was gone. I’d assumed he’d gone to tell his bosses in Russia to end the contract with the Cobras. But . . . more likely . . . what if he’d gone to find Sasha?
/> Fuck. After what I said, of course, that was where he’d gone. He’d never let her escape after that. And I’d told myself I’d protect her. What the fuck was I doing?
I broke into a run as I headed for the door. I could feel their eyes following me as I pulled open the door and escaped into the light of day. I knew at least one of them would try to stop me, and I was right. A second after I straddled my bike, Nix appeared. “Whoa. Zain. You can’t do this.”
I fixed my helmet on over my head. “Yeah, I can. And I’ve got to go.”
He gave me an incredulous look. “Wait. Don’t.”
“I’ve got somewhere to be. And I can go, Nix. I don’t even feel a little bit of remorse because I know it’s right. That asshole isn’t worth it, and I won’t be on the same side as him. I don’t care what Cullen says. I’m done.”
“You’re doing this for a girl?” He gave me an incredulous look and put his hands on my handlebars to stop me.
“Pardon me, but I think every fucking one of you went a little batshit crazy over some woman. Remember Liv? One would think you’d understand.”
Right then, he was probably thinking about his girlfriend. He’d found her in the trunk of a car we boosted and holed her up in his apartment to keep her safe from the Fury, against our better judgment. She was pregnant now, due to give birth to his first kid at any moment.
“Maybe we did. But we didn’t step out on the Cobras. No woman comes before your brothers.”
“Right. Because your brothers had your back. I’ve had all of your backs, all the fucking time, because I, more than anyone, know what the Fury can do. It’s mostly my fault they’re on our asses. But you’re refusing to have mine when I need you.” I got ready to turn on the ignition. “So I’m out.”
“Zain—”
I didn’t give him a chance to say more. All I could think was that Viktor must’ve gotten to Sasha by now, and whatever he had to say to her wouldn’t be good. I gunned the engine and tore out of the parking lot to find Sasha.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Sasha
The living room of my apartment over the Chow Fun Chinese restaurant looked out onto the main road of Aveline Bay’s old downtown. Ever since they built the freeway that bypassed this place, it got very little traffic. Across the street was an old vacuum cleaner store. It had probably closed down twenty years ago, the storefront windows soaped up with a crooked and yellowed AVAILABLE sign. Homeless people sometimes walked up and down the street, panhandling, but it was pretty quiet, except for the occasional motorcycle engine or eighteen-wheeler’s air horn blasting through the air from the freeway.
I heard another motorcycle engine as Alena and I were sprawled on the once-tan, now-pink-splotched living room carpet, playing Chutes and Ladders. She was pouting because she’d gotten the long chute that took her nearly to the start of the game.
“Do-over,” I said to her as I jumped up from crisscross applesauce and crossed to the window. “I didn’t see it. You can spin again.”
Normally, this would be a good time to teach her about the merits of being a gracious loser, but after a long day at work, I was too tired.
I didn’t have to tell her twice. Excitedly, she flicked the spinner again and continued on her way as I tented the blinds to peer out.
While at work, I’d thought all day about the man on the motorcycle I’d seen while playing with Alena at the playground. It’d distracted me from putting my best foot forward, and Marina had been in such an epically bitchy mood that I’d gotten more than a few dirty looks from her.
I knew that Zain’s club had enemies, and just by associating with him, I might be opening myself and Alena up to dangers. When I saw that man this morning, I had to wonder, would they come after me out of spite because of him?
I breathed a sigh of relief when I looked out the front window and saw Zain pulling to the curb on his bike. He yanked off his helmet and strode toward the staircase at the side of the building. A second later, I heard his heavy boots on the cement steps.
I turned to see Alena clapping her hands. “Look, Mommy! I won.”
Sure enough, her marker was at the top of the board. “Oh, good!” I said, giving her a hug.
When Alena had asked whether my friend was coming over tonight, I’d been happy to say no. I didn’t want her to see me getting too close to any man too soon. But after that strange man I’d seen in the morning, I was relieved to have Zain here.
When he knocked, Alena sprang up to answer the door. She pulled it open and let out a bright, “Oh, hi!” hanging on the doorknob, giving him her best eyelash bat.
“How ya doing?” he said to her. “Fist bump?”
She gave him one as I came up behind her. I kissed the top of her head as she said, “Look. Mommy, it’s your friend.”
His eyes were hot on mine. It made my heart do a little flutter. “So it is. Nice to see you, Zain.”
“We were just playing Chutes and Ladders,” Alena continued excitedly. Zain must’ve graduated to her favorite people list, because she was either completely bashful and unwilling to say two words to grown-ups she didn’t like, or she couldn’t shut up around those she loved. There was no in between. “Wanna play with us?”
He shrugged. “Sure. Haven’t played in years, so you might have to teach me.”
“I will,” she said excitedly. “Come on. It’s not that hard.”
I led him into the living room, and he looked over the game as we all crouched around the game board. We played, the two adults of the group mostly silent, since Alena filled all the gaps in the conversation with rules of game play, observations about life, and a thousand questions for our guest. “What’s your favorite animal?” she asked him. “Mine’s a dolphin.”
His gorgeous eyes lit up. “Dolphins are cool. Yeah. I guess they’re my favorite, too.”
“What’s your favorite color?”
“Blue,” he said.
Her jaw dropped. “That’s mine!”
“No way. Fist bump.”
She excitedly reached across the board to comply. “It’s like we’re twins!”
When we finished our third game, I told Alena to go in her room and play with her princess coloring books and let me talk to our guest alone. As she scampered off, I caught him watching her, a hint of a smile on his face.
“She’s a good kid,” he said.
“I know. Why did you come here?” I asked him.
He smirked. “What, you’re not happy to see me?”
“It’s not that. I could just tell by the look on your face that something was wrong. Did it have to do with Viktor? Did you see him?”
His mouth curled down and he nodded. “Yeah. I did. Unfortunately. And he might know about us.”
My blood ran cold. “Wait. What? How?”
His strong face turned just about as sheepish as it possibly could look. “I . . . might have told him.”
My jaw dropped. “What? You promised you—”
“I know. But I’ll keep you safe.”
“That’s not the point!” I shouted, throwing up my arms. “I didn’t want this complication in my life!”
“I get it. And I’m sorry.”
I probably should’ve been angrier than I actually was. Maybe because I’d never heard Viktor apologize to me for anything. “Are you really?”
“Of course. But he knows he can’t mess with me. I promise he won’t ever hurt you again.” He went to the window and peered out. “That’s why I came here. I thought he might be here.”
“Oh, he will. Probably. When he’s had enough vodka to kill a horse.” I buried my face in my hands. “Oh, God.”
Zain came over to me and put a hand on my shoulder. “I’ll make sure he doesn’t.”
I shook him away. “You don’t get it. You just being here is a problem. He’s never laid a finger on me, but I can’t put it past him to degrade me in front of Alena and cause a big scene. If you’re gone, he’s more likely to talk calmly.”
“Yo
u really think he would?”
I swallowed. No. He’d gone ballistic just thinking I was fucking around with people. If anything could get him to push past his self-imposed limits and lay a finger on me, finding out Zain and I were lovers might be it. “I don’t know.”
“You really want me to leave?”
“Yes,” I said, but instantly regretted it. That was the last thing I wanted. Right now, every fiber of my being wanted him here. “No. I don’t know.”
“Make up your mind. I’ll do whatever you want.”
I reached for his hand and tilted his knuckles to the light. I’d seen the purple bruises there before, while he was playing the game, but I didn’t say anything then.
“Did you fight him?”
He nodded.
“And?”
He shrugged, looking smug. “He looks worse than I do.”
I let out a sigh. “No. Wipe that look off your face, Zain. He may not be the best person on earth but he’s that little girl’s father!” I pointed down the hall. “They may not have the best relationship on earth, but they do love each other. And if you hurt him, you’ll hurt all of us, too. We may be divorced, but because of Alena he’ll always be family.”
“He abused you, Sasha. Maybe not with his fists but with his words, which can be worse. If you think I can just sit back and let him—”
“Yes. That’s what you were supposed to do! It’s not your job to save me! I did that myself when I filed for divorce! I can fight my own battles!” I shouted at him, jumping up. “And if—”
“Mommy?”
The fragile voice stopped me cold. I swiveled and saw Alena was standing in the doorway, in her little pink tutu and her scabby knees, watching me with saucer-sized eyes. I’d left Viktor for this very reason. Because I didn’t want to subject her to this kind of incessant shouting. Not from me; I was always too afraid to quarrel with him and tell him what I wanted. But Viktor always raised his voice, all the time. And now here I was, shouting at Zain.