by Evie Monroe
God, I must be the worst mother ever.
“Hi, honey. Everything’s okay,” I said, glaring at Zain as I walked over to her. I grabbed her hand and led her back toward her bedroom at the back of the apartment. “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s get you all dressed in your nightgown and ready for bed.”
I closed the door and helped her slip on her Ariel nightgown as she stood on top of her bed. “Why were you yelling at that nice man, Mommy?” she asked me.
“I wasn’t yelling.”
“Yes, you were.”
I sighed. “I know, all right, I was. But it’s not anything to be concerned about. Like I told you. Grown-ups sometimes disagree. But it wasn’t anything for me to get worked up over. I was being silly.”
She nodded, too much in agreement.
“Oh, you!” I said, squeezing her fat little cheeks and kissing her as I lifted her up on my hip. I pushed open the door to get her teeth brushed, and the first thing I saw was Zain, at the other end of the hallway, watching me. I skirted past him, into the bathroom, and put bubble gum-flavored toothpaste on her princess toothbrush.
As I handed it to her, I saw his face in the mirror. “I’m sensing a running princess theme,” he noted as his eye swept over the Little Mermaid shower curtain.
“You figured that out just now?” I muttered to him, laughing as she finished spitting into the sink. I motioned to her to use the potty and closed the door, which left Zain and I out in the hallway.
He said, “I get it, you can—”
I held up a hand. “Don’t. Stop. Whatever you say, you’re going to start me yelling again. And I promised I wouldn’t do that in front of her.”
As the toilet flushed, I pasted that happy smile on my face. She opened the door and eyed me suspiciously. She may have been only four, but she clearly wasn’t an idiot.
“Come on,” I said to her, as she ran ahead of me and jumped into bed. I pulled the covers up over her, still smiling that goofy smile of hers.
From the look on her face, she definitely didn’t buy it.
I ignored it and kissed her forehead.
She looked from between us and said, “You two better make up. My teacher says that even when you don’t agree, you should shake hands and make up.”
Zain let out a little chuckle and offered me his hand. I shook it, reluctant at first. “Happy?”
She nodded triumphantly.
I settled her into bed and pulled her covers up to her chin. “Good night,” I said to her, turning on her nightlight as she hugged Zain tight. I flipped off the light switch and blew her a last kiss good night.
Zain followed me into the living room, and I turned to face him. “What exactly did you tell Viktor?”
“I told him I knew you. And that was all. It was enough. It threw him into a fucking fit,” he said with a shrug. “After we fought, he said he wasn’t going to help our club and he stormed out.”
I raised an eyebrow. “So he’s not working with you anymore?”
“I don’t know. The president wanted me to go back and make nice with him so he’ll help us again. But I told him, in not so blunt terms, to go fuck himself. And now I guess I’m out of the club.”
“What? You’re out?” I covered my mouth with my hands. “I thought you said you needed him to help you against another club.”
“Yeah. I did. But I’m not working with him, Sasha. Not after what he did to you.”
I couldn’t believe what I’d just heard him say. He’d talked about the club like it was the most important thing in his life. He had a huge tattoo that proved his allegiance. To just give it all up . . . for me? Because he didn’t like my ex?
“Can you take it back?”
His eyes snapped to mine. “What?”
“I mean, I know what the club means to you. You can’t simply leave it. Don’t be crazy, Zain. If the club is your life, then leave me and go do what you have to do. I can take care of myself.”
He was quiet for a long time. Then he said, “Maybe I want something else out of life.”
His gaze nearly pinned me against the wall. If he kept looking at me like that, I’d lose my every inhibition and wouldn’t be able to kick him out. I needed to stop. “I think it’s better if you go now. I can’t have you being here if Viktor shows up.”
He came closer to me. “Did you hear me?”
I nodded. Yes, I heard him, but I was doing my best to ignore it.
“I want you more than the club,” he murmured, taking my chin in his hand and stroking my cheek with the pad of his thumb. His eyes scoured my face, so super-heated I felt like I might burst into flames. “Tell me you don’t want me, too.”
I swallowed and tried to shake my head, but he kept me steady there, against the wall.
“Tell me you’re not falling for me, and I’ll leave.”
I couldn’t lie. I couldn’t say what I desperately wanted to, to stop this and keep Alena and me safe. I closed my eyes to block him out, but I could still feel him everywhere. Desire pooled hot in my belly.
Finally, I whispered, “I want you, Zain.”
His hand slid around my neck, drawing me up to his level. He licked at the seam of my lips, priming me, nibbling softly as I let out a little moan. He was such a good kisser—for all his strength and power, he kissed me gently, like he wanted to cherish me. It felt so good that I could just stand there, kissing him all day. Yes, I was definitely falling for him.
Falling for him so fast and hard that I’d nearly abandoned my own rules.
“Wait,” I said, nudging him away. “We can’t do this. Alena . . .”
“All right.” He took my hand and started to lead me to the sofa.
I shook my head. “No. You need to—”
He silenced me with another kiss, and then I completely lost it. I stopped thinking about him leaving, because I never could let that happen, and started wondering how I could survive this night without putting Alena in any jeopardy.
Still holding his hand, I pulled him toward the bedroom. “You’re not staying the night. You’re leaving before she wakes up. You understand me?”
He nodded, but I really didn’t know if he did understand. I didn’t care, at that point. I needed him, more than I’d ever needed anything in my life.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Zain
Sure, I’d done some stupid, rash things before in my life. And by the time I’d gotten to Sasha’s house, I’d thought my telling Cullen to fuck off and storming out on my brothers was going to go down in history as the worst one ever.
But the second Sasha closed the door and put her hands on me, everything about me leaving the Cobras was forgotten. And I was hers.
Pressing her against the door of her bedroom, I lifted her dress to her armpits, baring her tiny panties and her beautiful tits to me. I leaned down, sucking on each nipple in turn, listening to the small sounds of pleasure she made as I peaked each nipple to a diamond point. Then, I knelt in front of her, putting my hands on those full hips of hers, kissing her tight abdomen and running my tongue along the curve of her navel.
I lifted her up, cradling her ass, and she wrapped her legs even more tightly around me as I carried her the three steps to the bed. I laid her back on the bed and she stretched out, giving me a sexy look that I couldn’t fucking get enough of, loose dark hairs from her ponytail falling in her eyes. Goddamn, if this wasn’t every man’s wet dream, I didn’t know what was.
I ripped off my shirt, lowered my jeans to the ground, then climbed on the bed, hovering over her. She helped to pull the dress over her head, and I slipped the tie from the back of her head so her dark hair spilled over her shoulders.
“I want you to fuck me hard. . .” She commanded, licking her lips, picking up the band of my boxer briefs, and dipping her hand inside. She curled her fingers around my cock, stroking it slowly. “But first, I want to taste your cock.”
I couldn’t possibly say no to that.
She bit her lip as I nudged my boxe
r briefs down to my knees. She knelt on the side of me, still playing with my balls. “I love your cock, Zain.”
She lifted the weight of my cock, feeling it in her hand, and leaned forward. She touched her tongue to the very tip, which was enough to tear a groan of pleasure from my throat. Her tongue a white-hot, electric spear, flicked just over the top at first, then trailed downward, over the mushroom tip.
She licked on, traveling down the length of me, until I let out a tortured moan and my head fell back against the pillow. Her mouth was so hot, so wet, so perfect. I gazed at the ceiling, then closed my eyes. I had wanted to watch her first explorations, but this was on its way to being the best damn blowjob I’d ever received.
I threaded my fingers through her hair and groaned as she took the whole head into her mouth, surrounding me fully. She flicked her tongue over the surface in quick, circular motions. I was hard as a rock by then.
Suddenly, she opened her mouth and sucked down, far, far, far, until I scraped the back of her throat.
“God, that’s phenomenal. Just like that,” I murmured, pushing her head back down when she came up.
But I didn’t need to show her anything. She had this. She knew just what she needed to do to drive me wild. She sucked me in deeper still, the next time, and again, until my cock was pulsating and begging for release.
“Come here,” I said, motioning her up to me.
She slinked up to me, hovering over my body so that her tits hung down, nipples grazing my chest. I took one of them in my hand, running a finger over the nipple.
“You’re so gorgeous,” I said, my cock hard between us. I kissed her cheek, took her earlobe into my mouth, sucking on it. “I have to be inside you.”
“Oh. Please, Zain.”
“All right.” Taking a breath, I lifted her carefully, positioning her back on the mattress, and rolled those little panties off of her hips. I climbed over her, positioning myself between her legs, resting on one forearm as I kissed her deeply. I settled myself at the entrance, just inches from euphoria.
“I can’t wait any longer.” I thrust in, hard, dragging all the air out of both of our lungs.
I lowered my mouth against hers and kissed her, hot and urgent. Her hand trailed down the curve of my back, cupping my ass. “Fuck me. Please. Zain—”
I slowly pulled out in a slick, frictionless slide. My cock leaving her, coming out halfway, made an emptiness that was almost physical pain. Her delicate hand gently nudged my ass back, and I couldn’t contain my excitement. I suddenly thrust into her, forcing a moan out of her throat.
“Oh,” she moaned. “Oh, fuck.”
I loved it when she talked dirty like that, a sound that only made me want to keep this going, keep fucking her forever. My next thrust made her pussy clench in pleasure, and the next time, she rocked in rhythm with me, meeting each thrust with her own.
Hips to hips, heart against heart, tongues working in chorus, until we were only one being, two halves of a whole, working in perfect synchronicity. The buzzing in my body built to a world-shattering crescendo.
Suddenly, I felt her tense in my arms, and she let out another moan. “Oh God, I’m coming.”
I thrust into her, grinding, again and again, moaning more as I kissed her, stopping and stuttering, losing the rhythm, finding it again, until I went screaming over the edge.
She held me close, so tight then, sinking her teeth into my shoulder. “Oh, Zain,” she said, whispering my name as I exploded into her. My mouth went to her throat, sucking on it, devouring her down to her tits as I came deep inside her.
We lay there for a while, panting, as I rested my forehead on her shoulder. Then I slowly slid out and crawled next to her.
“I love you,” she whispered as she wrapped her arms around me.
And then I did a total dick thing, the only thing I could think of to do. I nodded at her, speechless. Because I’d fucked hundreds of women before and never felt a single thing afterward. Especially love.
But this? This was uncharted territory for me.
I didn’t know what it was, but it wasn’t nothing. It could’ve been love. So I took a deep breath, kissed her forehead, and said, “I’ll never let anything happen to you. I won’t let Viktor, or anyone else who threatens you near you, you understand?”
“Anyone else?” she asked. “Like who?”
“Just . . . anyone.”
That seemed to be all she wanted to hear. She settled against me, her breathing slowing. I waited for her to tell me it was time to leave, because she didn’t want me getting too comfortable, but she never did. We were in danger of falling asleep and blowing her rules all to hell.
A few moments later, when I had almost dozed off, and I was pretty sure she had, too, I heard the familiar buzzing of my phone. Sasha let out a little murmur and yawned but didn’t wake up as I slipped out from under her head, replacing my shoulder with a pillow.
I found my boxer briefs in the pile of discarded clothes and slid them on. I found my phone just where I’d left it, in the pocket of my jeans.
My phone had been buzzing steadily since I’d left the clubhouse. Now, for the first time, I opened it up and saw I had dozens of messages, from all of my brothers. They were shitting bricks over me leaving.
The call coming through, though, was from Cullen. Looking over at Sasha’s sleeping form, the pretty, graceful curve of her spine, I slipped out to the living room and answered.
“Yeah?”
“Listen,” Cullen said, his voice gruff. “You need to come back.”
I laughed. “Is that you talking or did the other guys put you up to it?”
“It’s me. Look, we can figure this out. But what’s not going to work is you walking out on us every time the going gets tough. So come back to the clubhouse and let’s talk this shit out.”
I frowned. “I’m telling you, Cullen. You can talk all you want to me. But it’s not going to work if you insist on working with that motherfucker.”
“All right. I get it. I get you hate him and can’t work with him. But we can figure it out. Just . . . get over here. Okay?”
I looked down the hallway, toward the bedrooms, and sighed. I had to leave Sasha’s place, anyway. And what would I do, otherwise? Go home and contemplate my meaningless life of not being part of a club for the first time in years?
Yeah, no. That would be sheer misery. I was glad Cullen was open to talking about it. He was not only a great president, but a great guy. I just wasn’t too sure I was going to like the terms. “All right. I’ll be there in ten.”
I hung up the phone and went to the bedroom, where I pulled on the rest of my clothes. As I did, Sasha rolled over in bed, a sleepy smile on her face. “You’ve got to leave?”
I nodded. She looked so damn fuckable as usual, and my cock twitched again.
But I had things to do.
“Thought you wanted me to?” I asked.
She laughed. “Maybe not this soon.”
I kissed her forehead. If only I could stay. But I knew I’d be back. Sooner, rather than later. My body was already craving her again. “I’ll call you.”
She settled against the pillow and closed her eyes, so I went to the front door, locked it, and closed it behind me, making sure no one could get in. There was no telling what threats lurked around these areas for a Cobras girl, and I wanted to deliver on my promise to keep her and Alena as safe as possible.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Sasha
I rolled over in bed, feeling so thoroughly and deliciously fucked that I probably could’ve flown.
And already, I wanted more.
Was it normal for a grown woman to feel so much like a kid in a candy store? I couldn’t control my urges where this man was concerned.
Then I felt the side of the bed and remembered Zain kissing me goodbye and leaving.
I sighed, grabbing his pillow and bringing it to my face. It still smelled a little like him, the spicy masculine scent of motorcycles and
man that made my insides tingle.
The pillow wasn’t a good enough substitute for the man, though. Obviously.
I lay there, watching the curtains move in the breeze, as moonlight filtered in through my window, and thought of what he’d said. Something about keeping me safe from Viktor or anyone else.
Who else?
Was there someone else I was supposed to be worrying about? I hadn’t thought anyone could be worse than Viktor. But then again, Viktor wouldn’t touch me, and he’d kill himself before ever he hurt Alena. As insane as he drove me, I knew that to my core.
And these people that Viktor was helping Zain to get rid of?
I knew nothing about them. Except that Zain and his men had called in reinforcements like my ex to help get rid of them.
I thought of the man on the motorcycle that was watching us yesterday morning. I should’ve told Zain about him. What if he was part of the other club? What if just by associating with Zain, I’d made myself a target?
I should have asked him about that. Because maybe he wasn’t as concerned about Viktor as he was about protecting me from these other people.
A chill skittered down my spine. Now I was wide-awake. No hope for sleep.
As I climbed out of bed, a fierce wind whistled through the window, sending the curtains blowing. The weather was changing. I parted the curtains and closed the window so it was only open a couple of inches, then found some boxers and a camisole to change into.
I pushed open the door and went down to Alena’s room. In the dim pink glow of her nightlight, I could see the profile of her angelic face as she hugged one of her stuffed princess dolls. The window in her room was also open, the wind blowing the curtains steadily, so I went and closed it a couple inches, too. Bending over to kiss her little forehead, I walked out to the hall to make sure the door was locked.
Of course, it was. Zain wanted us safe, so he wouldn’t leave it open as an invitation to criminals.
I looked around, shivering as I thought of the ways he’d kissed me, touched me, right on that very spot.
I’d told him I loved him.