The Man Who Has No Soul

by Victoria Quinn

  I turned to watch him go, watched his powerful frame move through the lobby and get into the back seat of his blacked-out car. I caught a glimpse of him before the door shut, and his expression had hardened again, like he was back to his irritated self the second we parted.

  I stayed late at the office after everyone else left for the day. Since I was waiting for Deacon to come home, I decided to do all the invoicing to the clients, sending them a bill for all the dedicated time the staff put in outside of business hours. The clients had to pay a monthly bill for our services, and all that money went into the owner’s pocket. But all the extra hours and tips went to us.

  The lobby doors opened, and Deacon stepped inside, looking just as regal as he had that morning. His satchel was over his shoulder, and he headed to the elevator doors. As he stood there and waited for the doors to open, he gripped his tie and loosened it, like he couldn’t wait to get out of the stuffy outfit. Then he stepped inside and disappeared.

  I returned to work, taking advantage of the time to catch up on a couple things.

  My phone vibrated with a text from Tucker. Wanna join me for Taco Tuesday? Tucker and I continued to see each other, go on dates here and there. It was casual, and he didn’t try to rush it. It almost seemed like we were friends rather than potential lovers. Apparently, he wasn’t the hit-it-and-quit-it kind of guy like his brother—which was surprising.

  I’m working late tonight. Do they have a Taco Wednesday?

  Well, they have the dollar menu at Taco Bell.

  We still hadn’t gone there even though it was an early part of our foundation. Alright. Let’s do it. Tucker was funny and easygoing, simple to talk to, but when he asked me personal questions about my life, I didn’t go into many details. I felt like I was sharing my life with a stranger. When Deacon wanted to talk to me, I told him every single detail…without thinking twice about it. While Tucker was the more normal one of the two, and just as attractive, Deacon was the one I had a soft spot for. I guess Deacon was a friend…and Tucker still had to earn my trust.

  I didn’t give that away easily anymore.

  Deacon texted me. I’m ready.

  Be there in a min. I locked up my computer and then my office before taking the elevator to his floor. I knocked before I stepped inside.

  He wasn’t at the dining table like he usually was, but his laptop and paperwork were spread out like he’d been there minutes ago.

  I shut the door behind me then noticed the sounds coming from the kitchen. I moved to the dining table and set down my things. “Did you enjoy your dinner?”

  He came out of the kitchen with two plates, and he set one down in front of me along with a fork and a knife. “Do you eat fish?” It was a large green salad with a seared piece of salmon on top. It was covered with tomatoes, avocado, pecans, and fresh fruit. He set his at the head of the table before he retrieved a bottle of wine and two glasses.

  I didn’t get to eat like this. For one, I didn’t have time to go to the store and get all the items. Secondly, I didn’t have time to make it. Thirdly…I probably couldn’t afford to spend a lot of my income on fresh food, when I should be saving it for a home or retirement. “Deacon, you didn’t have to make this for me—”

  “Do you eat fish?” He uncorked the bottle and poured two glasses.

  “Well, yes…but you didn’t have to go to the trouble.”

  He sat down, placed the cloth napkin over his lap, and started to eat.

  It was a sweet gesture, and I didn’t know what to say. He was so cold in the beginning, and while he was still a little moody, he showed how thoughtful he could be. I took a seat. “Thank you. It looks amazing.”

  His laptop was open, so he looked at it as he ate.

  “How was work?”

  He stabbed his fork into the bed of lettuce before placing it into his mouth. “A piece of equipment broke down, so I had to spend all day fixing it.”

  “You couldn’t bring someone in to do it?”

  “Take too long.”

  “And you just know how to fix things?”

  “Simple trial and error.”

  I wished I were smart enough to figure out everything I put my mind to. I was a smart woman, but if you told me to fix the transmission in a car, I would never be able to figure it out—even if my life depended on it.

  He ate much quicker than I did, scarfing down his food like he really didn’t have time to enjoy it. “What did you want to show me?”

  The salad and wine were a great pairing, and it was a nice change from my usual frozen burritos. And it took me no time to make it because someone else did it for me. I opened my folder and placed a few papers in front of him, along with my laptop. “I told you I have some clients who have cabins in Connecticut. Well, one of them is selling this really special place on the water. The second he told me, I thought of you. As a favor to me, he didn’t put it on the market right away, that way you could buy it directly from him…assuming you want it.” I pushed the pictures toward him.

  He picked up the first page, seeing the exterior to the house, the long driveway with a gate at the end so anyone passing by couldn’t come on to his property without the code. It was a beautiful two-story home, a traditional-style cabin in the woods, surrounded by large oaks and pines, a forest right on his property.

  “It’s five acres, so there’s plenty of space. The inside of the house has been renovated, so it’s got an open floor plan that you’d like.” I handed him the next page. “It has a large back porch, an outdoor fireplace, a private dock with a beautiful view of the lake.”

  He continued to stare, actually reading all the information about the place. When he grabbed his highlighter and started to mark things, I knew he liked it. He flipped the pages back to the front like he was looking for something specific, and when he found it, he turned back to what he was looking at.

  I hit a button on my keyboard. “The site has more pictures if you want to take a look.”

  Now he abandoned his dinner and clicked through the pictures, staring at every single photo for a long time, like he had a photographic memory that could take every piece and map out the entire property in his head.

  I kept eating, letting him have all the time he wanted. “This is so good, Deacon.” I felt like I was at a five-star restaurant right in his condo. He knew how to sear a piece of fish without burning it, while still keeping it tender inside. He knew how to coat the leaves with the right amount of dressing, not overwhelming it.

  He picked up his fork and started to eat again.

  “I know you never said you were interested in buying a place right now. I just thought I would bring this to your attention because it is a rare property, and the second he puts it on the market, it’ll be gone.”

  “I want to see it.”

  “It’s a two-hour drive, assuming there’s no traffic. If you can take the day off work, we can go later this week. If you can’t, we could go on Saturday.”

  “I can’t take time off right now.” He sat straight in his chair, switching his gaze to me. “Can your client wait until Saturday?”

  I’d make him wait. “Yes.”

  “And you don’t mind coming with me?”

  “Not at all.” I did it for clients all the time. I’d been repairing issues on luxury residences for a long time, so I knew what to look for when inspecting a new home. Now that I was seeing someone, I could make plans to do something fun with him, but I’d rather help Deacon than do anything else.

  “Arrange for a driver. We’ll leave at ten. Is that too early for you?”

  I’d probably be up at eight anyway. “That’s great. Want me to grab us some coffee before we go?”

  “Have the driver do that.”

  “I don’t mind…”

  “It’s Saturday. I’m not going to make you run around.”

  It was a thoughtful thing to say, but I still considered myself to be on the job. I had a lot of things to do, and I was putting them on the back burner t
o do this for him. But I didn’t say that. “I’ll meet you here.” I closed the laptop and pulled it back toward me. “I’m glad you like the place. I thought you might.”

  “I wish I could live there instead of here.” His plate was empty, so he pushed it to the side.

  “Well, when you retire, it’ll be ready for you.”

  “I’ll never retire.” He rested his elbows on the table, his jaw clean because he’d shaved that morning. He seemed to do it every few days, before it turned into a beard. “I’ll work until the day I die. Sometimes I think sitting by the lake all day would be nice, but I know that wouldn’t last longer than a week…”

  He was too brilliant, his mind too fast-paced for a simple life.

  “I work too much, but I’d be unhappy if I worked too little.” His tone was matter-of-fact.

  “Maybe you should try to balance it out. Instead of working on the weekends, take a trip out to the cabin and leave your work at the office. Try other hobbies.”

  “I don’t have other hobbies.”

  “That’s why I said try.”

  He stared at me for a long time before he turned his gaze away. “I’d like to bring Derek here…someday.”

  “It’ll happen.”

  “I hope so.” He took a deep breath, like his lungs ached from all the air he’d just sucked in. “I miss him…”

  “I know you do.” My heart seemed to grow for him every time he talked about his son, because it was so beautiful to watch a man wear his heart on his sleeve for a single person. “I can’t wait to meet him.”

  “He’d like you.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Well…he’s like me.”

  “Tucker mentioned he’s smart like you.”

  Deacon quickly broke eye contact. “He’s gifted. He hasn’t been assigned the label, but he is. I can tell he struggles to talk to people the way I do. It’s not that he’s shy. He just doesn’t get any stimulation from social interactions. It’s one of the reasons I love him so much—he’s the only person in the world like me. He’s the only person I can connect to.”

  “That’s sweet.”

  “I have to be here for a while for work, but if I can’t get him out here…I might have to move back.”

  The idea of Deacon leaving Manhattan made me sick to my stomach. I couldn’t imagine my life without him, couldn’t imagine not seeing his face all the time. He was such a special person, someone who had changed my life permanently, and the idea of losing him…made me so sad.

  “Because I can’t live where he isn’t…and be happy.”

  It was the right thing to do, the sacrifice every parent should make. Derek was the only thing that should matter to him. But I didn’t want him to leave for my own selfish reasons. I had to get Valerie to move here. I had to get Derek to move here.

  Otherwise, I’d lose him.

  On Saturday morning, I stood in the lobby and waited for Deacon to join me. It was a warm day, so I wore a black dress with a blue blazer on top, dressed professionally but also comfortable.

  I didn’t text him to remind him because Deacon was punctual.

  A moment later, the elevator doors opened, and he emerged, dressed in black jeans and a gray tee. His hair was dark like the color of his pants, and the brown color of his eyes was like splashes of espresso. There was a shadow along his jawline, like he had shaved the day before.

  Looking right at me, he walked up to me, his eyes taking in my features the way they had on the night I’d accompanied him to the award ceremony. The look was brief, but it was definitely there. Without issuing a greeting, he stared at me.

  I was used to his silence, but sometimes it was disconcerting, because he was verbal in deep conversations. He could explain every thought and emotion in his head so clearly, paint me a picture with just his narration. But if we hadn’t seen each other for a while, he started over. Just saying good morning was impossible. “Ready?”

  He moved to the SUV parked at the curb.

  The sidewalks were already busy with people because everyone wanted to enjoy the city on their day off. People flooded the parks, wanting to get out of the shadows of the skyscrapers to enjoy the sun on the grass.

  The driver opened the back door, but Deacon didn’t get in. He stepped into the road and got in on his own, letting me have the convenient seat like the last time we’d sat in a car together.

  I got into the back and saw the two coffees sitting there.

  Deacon looked out the window, his elbow on the doorframe with his knuckles against his mouth.

  The driver took off, and we began our long drive out of the city and into the countryside.

  Sometimes I wondered if Deacon knew how to be a gentleman and just chose not to be. He was cold, abrasive, and flat-out rude when we met. But he wasn’t like that anymore. He was innately kind. But then I wondered if he didn’t understand manners at all. He just did nice things because he actually liked me.

  Made me feel special.

  We didn’t say anything for forty-five minutes. He grabbed his coffee and drank it, scrolling through his phone and checking emails.

  I didn’t say anything because I mirrored my clients’ moods. If they were in a talkative mood, I talked. If they weren’t, I stayed quiet. Deacon didn’t like to say much on a regular basis, let alone have a discussion that lasted over two hours.

  Once we were far away from the city and into the country, the trees became taller, the brush became thicker, and the cars became sparser. We left the highway and turned onto a quiet road, moving around the curves as we came closer to the private community where all the rich people had their cabins.

  Deacon didn’t say a word, but his shoulders relaxed and he breathed differently, as if he was more comfortable being in the middle of nowhere. Maybe that was why he was always in a bad mood in the city, hating all the traffic, the people, the meaningless chatter.

  We checked in at the first security gate, handing over my name so we could get through. Then we drove down the road and got deeper into the wilderness, the lake on our left right out his window. The homes were spaced out, acres in between, the tall trees putting us in the middle of a forest.

  Minutes later, we pulled up to the house.

  I told the driver the code, and we drove up the long driveway, heavy trees on either side of the road.

  Deacon clicked the button on the door so his window rolled down. He looked at the sunlight that filtered through the trees, let the fresh air brush over his skin. The sunlight showed how brown his hair really was, not black. It also made it clear how thick it was, how much there was to touch. He rested his head back, as if he could close his eyes and fall asleep.

  I stared at him, watching every subtle change in his features, watched the sun brighten his skin, showed the flawlessness of his complexion. I only saw him indoors, and he looked so different in the great outdoors, so handsome.

  The driver stopped at the entrance to the cabin.

  Deacon sat there for a while and just stared at it, his eyes taking in details regular people would never notice.

  I waited for him to make the first move.

  Minutes later, he finally opened the door and stepped out.

  I got out and moved around the SUV to his side.

  He crossed his arms over his chest as he looked at the front door. “When will the real estate agent be here?”

  “No real estate agent.” I held up the keys. “My client gave these to me this morning.”

  He turned to look at me.

  “I knew you’d be a lot more comfortable experiencing the property alone instead of listening to a real estate agent talk your ear off.” I moved up the steps to the front door and unlocked it for him.

  He was at my side a moment later, staring at my face as I got the door unlocked.

  I opened the door and indicated for him to walk inside. “I’ll be out here when you’re done.”

  He moved into the entryway then turned around to face me. “Come with me. I want you
r opinion.”

  I tried not to let my eyes soften, but it happened anyway. I followed him inside, and we took the tour together.

  He explored the spacious living room, and he seemed particularly impressed with the back wall, which was just floor-to-ceiling windows. It clashed with the traditional cabin look, but the view was unbelievable, giving a full panorama of the porch and the lake. He stared for a long time before he examined the large kitchen, the granite countertops and smart kitchen appliances.

  “I knew you’d like a big kitchen since you’ll be cooking a lot. And that view…that’s where the sun sets, so every summer evening, you’ll get to see it.”

  With his hands in his pockets, he continued to walk around. “Does it include the furniture?”

  “My client has no need for it, so he’d like to keep it with the house. But if you want to replace everything, he’ll remove it.”

  He nodded then moved upstairs.

  I followed behind him.

  He glanced at the extra bedrooms but spent most of his time in the master, studying all the details. It had a large bathroom with a walk-in shower, double sinks, and a tub with jets. He moved to the window next and looked at the lake. “I’ll make an offer.”

  I came to his side. “You like it, then?”

  He nodded.

  “I could see you coming here on the weekends when you need a break.”

  “I’ll keep the furniture. I just want the mattresses replaced.”

  “Alright. We can add some touches to make it more personal. I can handle that for you.”

  He turned his gaze to me, watched me the way he’d been staring at the lake just seconds ago. He didn’t say anything, just stared.

  I never got used to those looks. He was the only person I’d ever met who looked at me that way, like he was so comfortable with me, he didn’t feel the need to say anything, that an intimate stare wasn’t intrusive. “I’m glad you thought of me.”

  It just worked out that way. I had other clients who would die if they had the chance to get this place, but instead of giving it to them, I only had Deacon in mind. He was my favorite, so he always got special treatment.