The Man Who Has No Soul

by Victoria Quinn

  “I’m surprised Deacon didn’t ask himself.”

  “He understands you’re upset with him and don’t want to talk to him.” That was the truth. Every time he called, it never went anywhere. “His birthday is in a few weeks, and I know he would love the opportunity to spend that weekend with Derek. Could we work something out?” I had to get Derek out here. I wanted to make Deacon the happiest he’d even been, to hold his son again and make his birthday a special one.

  “I looked you up. You sound like the real deal.”

  “I am the real deal.”

  “Tell me about your clients.”

  “I can’t discuss them by name. Confidentiality. But I can assure you, these powerful people trust me implicitly.” I didn’t have a lot of experience with kids, but I knew I could pick up Derek and escort him to New York and return him without a scratch. “I know it would mean the world to Deacon if you did this. I mean…truly. If you’re still hopeful of a reconciliation at some point, I think doing this is a great first step.” I never wanted Deacon to be with this woman again. I’d much rather put up with the bitches at his apartment than this devil woman. But it was the only incentive that could get her cooperation.

  She sighed as she considered it. “I guess it would be nice that I wouldn’t have to do anything…”

  “Nothing at all.” I would pay for the plane tickets, and I was certain Deacon would reimburse me on his own. I wouldn’t even have to ask. “I’ll return him Monday afternoon. You can have the weekend to yourself.”

  She turned quiet.

  “Valerie, please.” I was so close. I could feel it.

  She sighed again. “Alright…I’ll do it.”

  I jumped up from the couch and pumped my arm up in the air, so happy I could scream. “Oh, that’s wonderful, Valerie. Thank you so much.”

  “Let me know the details when you get them.”

  “I will.”

  “Bye, Cleo.”

  “Bye.” I hung up then danced in my living room, spinning around with my arms straight out, laughing uproariously because I couldn’t believe it had happened, couldn’t believe I’d pulled off a miracle, did something that would make Deacon so happy. “Yaaaaasssss!”

  Nineteen

  Deacon

  My last day at the hospital ended yesterday, so I decided to stay home and catch up on paperwork in my penthouse. We weren’t supposed to take patient information from the hospital, but since it was for research, I was allowed to make copies of everything and review it in the privacy of my home.

  I should go to the office, but I was too fucking tired.

  Just wanted to sit on my ass for a day.

  I didn’t even work out that morning. I slept in as long as I wanted, took a shower, and then sat at the dining table with my laptop.

  The lock turned in the door before it opened.

  I knew it was Cleo. I didn’t tell her I would be home for the day, so it wasn’t her fault for barging in without knocking.

  She held my clean scrubs in her arms, ready to put them in my drawer. She stilled when she saw me. “Oh…hey.” Instead of apologizing or looking awkward at her intrusion, she walked to the dining table like she was welcome here. “What are you doing home?”

  “Decided to take the day off.”

  She glanced at my laptop and papers before looking at me again. “This is taking the day off?”

  Sarcasm was often hard for me to understand, but I picked up on it. A slight smile moved onto my lips. “I meant skip the office.”

  “Your patient care is over?”

  “For now.”

  “I’m just going to put these away. They’re clean whenever you need to go back.” She walked into my bedroom and put the scrubs into my drawer before she returned to me. “You want me to pick you up lunch or anything?”

  “I don’t mind cooking.”

  She stood behind the chair, resting her hands on the back of it. “Well, you know how to reach me if you need anything.” She patted her hands against the wood before she turned away.

  “Cleo?”

  She turned back to me.

  “Actually, I do need something.”

  “Sure, anything you need.”

  I felt bad for asking, but she’d made my life so much easier the first time she joined me. “I have this dinner thing tomorrow…if you don’t mind coming with me.”

  “Of course.” She smiled. “I’d be happy to.”

  “I feel like I keep taking up your Saturdays.”

  “Don’t worry about it. What’s it for?”

  I was embarrassed to answer her question. “It’s at this new hospital they’re opening in Brooklyn. It’s the opening ceremony, and I said I would go.” I didn’t tell her all the details, even though I’d have to deal with her reaction later. “They cut the ribbon, and then we have dinner.” I didn’t want to take anyone, and I didn’t want to go alone either. Whenever people saw me with Cleo, they talked to me less, because they thought I was preoccupied.

  “Black tie?”

  I nodded.

  “Do you need a new suit? Because we only have a few days.”

  “No. I have plenty in my closet.”

  “Alright.” She smiled. “Just text me the time, and I’ll meet you here.”

  “Okay.”

  She looked at me for a second before she turned around and left my apartment.

  I stared at the door, even after she was gone.

  “What are you doing for your birthday this year?” Tucker held his bottle in his fingertips, sitting across from me at our usual table. There was a bar close to his work, so now it was our favorite bar to meet.

  “Working.”

  “Your birthday is on a Saturday.”

  I shrugged. “I work Saturdays.”

  “Wow…don’t get too crazy.”

  I rarely celebrated my birthday, rarely acknowledged it. It was strange to mark every year of age, to say goodbye to the years you’d lived and remind yourself of the time you had left. Last year, I spent it with Derek, taking him to the movies before we went go-karting. But I wouldn’t see him this year, unfortunately.

  “You wanna do something?”

  “I don’t care.”

  “Party animal. What are you doing tomorrow?”

  “I have a ribbon-cutting ceremony in Brooklyn.”

  “What’s opening?”

  “A new hospital.”

  “Did you build it or something?”

  I didn’t understand the question because I clearly wasn’t an architect or a construction worker.

  “I mean, why are you going?”

  “Oh.” I took a drink. “They’re naming the hospital after me.”

  Both of his eyebrows rose. “What? You serious?”

  “Why would I joke about that?”

  He ignored the question. “That’s great, Deacon. How many people have a building named after them?”

  “A lot of people—”

  “Besides presidents and stuff. That’s great. Congratulations.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Did you donate money or anything?”

  I shook my head. “I got a call about eighteen months ago when they started the project. They asked my permission.”

  “That’s so cool. If my wife has a baby, she’ll deliver there, just so we can tell that story.”

  I lifted my gaze and looked at the TV behind him.

  “You going stag to this thing?”

  “Cleo is coming with me.”

  His eyes narrowed. “Again?”

  I nodded.

  “Didn’t she come with you to the last one?”

  “That’s why I asked her again. People talk to me less when she’s with me.”

  “Well, I wanted to take her to Coney Island, but she said she was busy. Now I know why.”

  I drank my beer.

  “You know, you hog a lot of her time.”

  “She didn’t have to say yes.”

  “You’re her boss—of cour
se she does.”

  I tried to understand his tone, because it was different than usual. “Are you mad or something?”

  “I’m a little annoyed. I feel like every time I try to do something with her, she already has plans with you.”

  “Why don’t you take her on Sunday?”

  “I have to work.”

  “Then take her next Saturday.”

  “That’s your birthday.”

  “We both know I don’t give a shit about my birthday.” When I woke up, I’d probably forget. Until my mother called, it would be the furthest thing from my mind.

  “Come on, you’re turning thirty-three. That’s a good year. I thought we’d go fishing or something.”

  “Honestly, I don’t care.” I didn’t care about the major holidays either, unless Derek was around. I always put thoughtful gifts under the tree, gave him a nice birthday party, and did special things on Easter. But without him around…I didn’t see the point.

  “I’ll find another time to take her out. Was just a bit disappointed that you beat me to the punch. I’ll never take her to a dinner at a hospital that’s being named after me…fucking show-off.”

  “I doubt she’s impressed.”

  He laughed loudly. “Yeah, okay…”

  “All of her clients are successful people.”

  “Yeah, but they’re Wall Street assholes and real estate sharks. You’re special. You should hear how she talks about you.”

  She talked about me?

  “She told me you’re her favorite client.”

  “I am?” I blurted, surprised she felt that way.

  He shrugged. “I couldn’t believe it either.”

  I remembered that conversation I’d witnessed between her and another client. They were arguing in front of her office, going back and forth until the tears in her eyes reflected the light from the chandelier. I couldn’t make out what they were saying, but I’d never seen her so upset. “Her other clients can be dicks. Maybe that’s why.”

  “How could anyone be a dick to Cleo? She’s awesome.”

  I was a bit cold to her when we first met. I still felt a little guilty about it even though I’d apologized. “I came home one night, and one of her clients was yelling at her. She started to cry.”

  “What?” he snapped, his nostrils flaring. “Who the fuck is this guy?”

  I couldn’t remember his name. “Jake something.”

  “Why was he so mad?”

  “She gave him the wrong dry cleaning or something.”

  He rolled his eyes with an irritated look on his face. “I hate motherfuckers like that. They come into the hotel sometimes. Treat you like shit over the smallest thing. Like, you’re a millionaire on vacation. What the fuck are you so mad about?”

  I didn’t know how that guy could get so upset with Cleo. She never made mistakes, so if she messed up every once in a while, it was no reason to berate her in public like that. Sometimes it was hard to forget she was human because she was so perfect all the time, but she was just like everyone else.

  “Let me know if he ever moves out of the building. I’ll beat his ass.”

  I’d lost my temper with him, made enemies of someone who lived in my own building, but I didn’t care. Watching her shake at her desk, her eyes wet, no longer composed like she usually was, made me feel things I couldn’t describe. I wasn’t a violent person, but my fist ached to shatter the guy’s cheekbone. “I wasn’t very nice to Cleo when we first met, but I never behaved that way.”

  “What did you do?”

  “I told her to deliver some papers and told her not to fuck it up.”

  “That’s not that bad.”

  “Well, I literally said it like that.”

  “Oh…” He nodded slowly. “Well, it seems like you’ve made up for it.”

  “I apologized.”

  “Wow, that’s a first.”

  “I apologize.”

  “No, you don’t,” he said with a laugh.

  “I do when I’m wrong. But I’m almost never wrong.”

  He laughed again. “There we go…”

  I finished my beer but didn’t order another. Booze was the only poison I allowed myself, but I couldn’t have too much of it.

  “Why don’t you take one of your other girls? Taking them to a hospital named after you is definitely going to get you a blow job.”

  “Because I don’t want to take them.”

  “Well, Cleo isn’t going to give you a blow job.”

  I shifted my gaze back to him and gave him a cold look. “Don’t talk about her like that—”

  “Jesus Christ, I’m making a joke, Deacon. I don’t mean that literally. Seriously, how do you talk to people in the real world?”

  I didn’t. “That’s why I like to bring Cleo. She helps me.”

  “She does all the talking for you?”

  I shrugged. “She directs the conversation, deflects questions I don’t want to answer. And she just…understands me. She speaks in unequivocal terms, so her meaning is clear. And when I say things, no matter how badly I put them, she seems to understand what I’m trying to say. It’s just easy with her. Everyone else is difficult.”

  He nodded. “Yeah, she’s pretty cool. I like her a lot.”

  I looked at my empty bottle.

  “Well, send me a picture. I want to see how she looks in her dress.”

  I shifted my gaze back to him.

  “Oh, come on,” he said. “That’s pretty fucking tame.”

  I sat on the couch in my suit, my tie like a noose around my neck. The watch I wore for special events was on my wrist, and my phone was in my pocket. I knew Cleo would be here right on the dot, so her knuckles would tap against my door any minute.

  She knocked.

  “It’s open.” I rose to my feet and buttoned the front of my jacket, feeling suffocated as if I was in a hazmat suit. I preferred jeans and t-shirts over layers of clothing, stiff trousers, and ties. My lab coat was more comfortable than this.

  Cleo came inside, wearing a short black dress, black pumps, and carrying a glittery black clutch. Her dress had a single strap, revealing the bare skin of the other shoulder. Her long brown hair was in curls, reaching past her breasts toward her stomach.

  She looked good in black.

  The tight dress fit her hourglass frame perfectly. It would have been a simple dress on anyone else, but her curves made it look as stunning as any gown. I flattened my tie against my chest and approached her.

  She smiled at me, her eyes blue like the sky on a clear day in spring. “Deacon, you look great.” She looked me up and down, making sure there wasn’t a single wrinkle or anything out of place. She looked at my tie next, and she seemed to approve of the knot because she didn’t fidget with me.

  I slid my hands into my pockets and stared at her, wishing I could say something to return the compliment, but the words weren’t apparent to me.

  “You ready to go?”

  “Yes.”

  “Great.” She turned to the door.

  “That dress looks nice on you.” I blurted it out, as if it was my only opportunity to give her a compliment.

  She turned back around, still wearing a smile. “Thank you, Deacon.”

  We left my residence and took the elevator to the bottom floor.

  Anna was there, speaking to the doorman.

  I pulled out my phone and walked up to her. “Would you mind taking a picture of us?”

  Cleo nearly did a double take at my request.

  Anna took the phone, glanced at Cleo, and then nodded. “Uh, sure. Right here?”

  I turned to Cleo. “Do you mind?”

  “Not at all.” She stepped back so she could pose.

  I came to her side and didn’t know what to do. Should I put my arm around her? Should I just stand there with my hands in my pockets?

  Anna kept moving around with the phone held up. “Trying to find the best light.”

  Cleo held her clutch at her waistline,
her shoulders back and her posture perfect.

  “Alright, this good.” Anna steadied the phone. “Say cheese.”

  I moved my arm around her waist, my fingers cupping her rib cage just below her breasts. I could feel how tight her body was, how there was nothing but abs under her skin. She was more petite than I realized.

  Cleo didn’t flinch. “Cheese.”

  I never smiled, so I didn’t smile now.

  “Got it.” Anna lowered the phone and stared at the screen. “Wow, that came out great.” She handed it to me.

  I slipped it back into my pocket without checking it.

  “Thank you, Anna,” Cleo said. “We should get going. The traffic is unpredictable.”

  We stepped outside, and I let Cleo take the side closest to the sidewalk. I checked the street before I opened the door and got into the back beside her.

  She crossed her legs, pulled her phone out of her clutch to check it, and then returned it to the bag. She turned to me. “Do you mind if I take a look?”

  I stared at her blankly.

  “Sorry,” she said with a laugh. “I meant the picture.”

  I pulled it out of my pocket, unlocked the screen, and handed it to her.

  She almost didn’t take my phone, flinching at the gesture. The last time my phone had been in her possession was because I broke it and had no choice. Most of the time, I kept my laptop closed, kept my phone in my pocket, even though she had no reason to share my research with anyone else. But now I didn’t think twice about it. She opened my photos and stared at it. “Wow, we both look great.” She smiled then handed it back.

  “Tucker said he wanted a picture of you in your dress.” I didn’t want her to think I was being inappropriate. I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable when she was giving up her Saturday to do this with me.

  “Oh…” She nodded slowly, her smile gone. “Well, I’m glad it’s a good picture, then.” She looked out the window.

  My gaze stayed on the side of her face, seeing the diamond earrings in her lobes. They looked real, flashing with a spectrum of color, tiny rainbows. The line between her face and neck was sharp because she was so slender, her features tight, her skin fair and rosy. With her legs crossed, one of her knees was visible. Knees weren’t attractive on anyone, but hers were cute.