The Man Who Has No Soul

by Victoria Quinn

  I had big plans for his birthday, so he’d just made my life a lot easier. “I think you’re going to love it.”

  He leaned back in the chair and stared at me.

  If anyone else stared at me with that intensity of eye contact, I would feel either threatened or uncomfortable, but when he did it, it almost felt natural at this point. “Is there anything else I can do before I go?”

  He shook his head. “No.”

  I used to interpret this behavior as cold, but I realized he had to build up his socialization again with every new day. He had to warm up, get used to the conversation, and then he was more talkative. This was the first time we’d said anything to each other in days, so we were at ground zero again. “I’ll be unavailable on Friday, so if there’s something you need, please let me know as soon as possible.”

  His reaction changed, his dark eyes narrowing. “Why will you be unavailable?”

  “I’ll be out of town for a business trip.”

  “Where are you going?”

  I was surprised he asked so many questions. “California.”

  “So, you’ll be gone all weekend?”

  It would be weird if I told him I’d be back that same day, so I lied. “Yes.”

  He rubbed his palm across his lips, like he was uncomfortable.

  “Something wrong, Deacon?”

  “No. I just…I’m so used to having you around.”

  “It’s only for a few days.” Brilliant people hated change. They liked having everything stay exactly the same. I’d had other gifted clients before, and their reactions to my absence were similar.

  “I know. I just…” He never finished the sentence.

  “Matt and Anna will be available if you need anything.”

  He nodded. “Be safe.” He turned his gaze back to me. “Just be aware of your surroundings at all times. If someone suspects you’re traveling, you become a target.”

  I wanted to laugh because he had no idea what I was capable of. I’d flown alone to Egypt to retrieve a special vase a client wanted me to collect and hold on my lap for the twenty-hour flight. I’d been to Pakistan, Istanbul, everywhere—alone. A flight to California was almost a joke. “I’ll be alright, Deacon.”

  He was still uncomfortable with it, but he didn’t say any more. “Call me if you need anything.”

  Did he just tell me to call him for help? I was the one he was supposed to call. I didn’t take offense to it because it was sweet, really sweet. “Okay.” I gave him a smile before I turned away. “I’ll see you later.”

  “Bye, Cleo.”

  Tucker took the last bite of his food, his plate empty after he demolished his dinner. “I can’t believe someone named a hospital after him.”

  “I can.” I didn’t think twice about my answer.

  “I mean, I can,” he said. “But it’s just weird that he’s my brother. To me, he’s just Deacon, a weird guy who doesn’t know how to talk to people, but to everyone else, he’s this brilliant humanitarian.”

  “He’s not a weird guy.”

  Tucker shook his head. “You’re more defensive of him than my own mother.”

  Even when it was clear his brother was making a joke, I felt inclined to intervene, to make him understand that Deacon wasn’t some nerd or weirdo. It was a label he didn’t deserve, a stereotype that didn’t fit him at all. “It’s hard not to be.”

  “How was the hospital thing?”

  “It was really cool. I had no idea they named the hospital after him until I saw his name on the wall.”

  He chuckled. “So, he didn’t even tell you?”

  I shook my head. “It was such an amazing experience, to see him honored that way. I was so proud…even though he didn’t seem to care that much.”

  “I think anything everything besides his Nobel is pointless to him.”

  I’d never asked Deacon about that because I didn’t want to interrogate him like everyone else.

  “Think about it, he’s got like a billion awards. After a while, he just stops caring.”

  “I don’t think he doesn’t care. I just think…he hates the attention.”

  “Yeah. Definitely.”

  When the waiter brought the tab, I grabbed my wallet.

  “Come on, let me pay.”

  “Why do you have to pay? We can split it.”

  “We’ve been splitting it for a while, because I wanted to make it clear I’m not one of those misogynistic assholes. But I’d like to pay.”

  “Well, I don’t think that about men who offer to pay. I just know it’s expensive to take a woman out all the time.”

  “Why? Have you taken a woman out all the time?” he asked, smiling.

  I rolled my eyes.

  He set his card on the tab.

  “Well…thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  We sat in silence, and he stared at me.

  I looked away, the eye contact a little much. “Did you get anything for Deacon’s birthday?”

  “How did you know his birthday was coming up?”

  “It’s part of my job.” I did something special for all my clients when they were in residence, whether it was a cake from a special bakery or a vase of flowers, I left them some kind of surprise when they came home from work.

  “I was just going to buy him a beer or something. He’s not big on celebrating his birthday.”

  “I wonder why.”

  He shrugged. “Says it’s stupid.”

  Maybe he would feel differently about it this year. It was hard for me to keep the secret from Tucker. I knew he wouldn’t blab to his brother about it, but he might accidentally drop a hint that would tip him off.

  “So, Deacon told me some guy yelled at you in your office. Who the fuck is this guy?”

  I couldn’t believe Deacon had told him. “It was just a misunderstanding…”

  “What kind of misunderstanding makes a woman cry?”

  I was going to kill Jake. I couldn’t believe he’d confronted me at work like that. He hadn’t contacted me since, so I hoped he’d gotten the hint. “He was just having a bad day. It happens. Our emotions get the best of us.”

  “Whatever. If you want to kick his ass, I can. I don’t live in the building.”

  I gave him a slight smile. “Thanks, but it’s really fine.”

  The waiter took the tab and processed the card before he brought it back.

  We left the restaurant and walked together to my building, which was just a few blocks away.

  “You want to stop for ice cream?” He walked beside me then grabbed my hand, our fingers interlocked.

  “I’m pretty stuffed.”

  “Yeah, me too.”

  We walked into my building, took the elevator, then said goodbye outside my door.

  He stared at me with his arms by his sides, giving me a focused look similar to Deacon’s. Tucker was a handsome man, probably the most handsome man I’d ever dated, and while he had all the qualities I liked in a man, I hadn’t really felt that passionate heat that I’d felt when I met my husband. It just wasn’t there. “Can I come inside?”

  I’d invited him inside before, and we’d watched a movie on the couch, making out for most of it. But the few times he tried to escalate it, I turned him down.

  He’d been more than patient, and I’d put out for other guys much sooner than this. We’d been seeing each other for three weeks. There was really no reason to wait at this point. But I still wasn’t ready. “I’ve got an early day tomorrow.”

  He didn’t hide his disappointment. A guy like him got laid with the snap of his fingers. He probably thought I was some kind of prude. “Alright. Goodnight.” He leaned in and kissed me goodnight, cupping my face as he did it. He was a good kisser, great with his lips. The affection was definitely there…just not the other stuff. He pulled away.

  “I know you must think I’m a prude—”

  “I’ve been with a lot of women. I’ve had a lot of sex. But I’m not looking f
or that with you. I actually like you, so whenever you’re ready…I’m ready.” He gave me a nod before he walked down the hallway and entered the elevator.

  I stepped inside my apartment and leaned against the wall, sighing loudly now that I was alone.

  My flight was leaving pretty early, so I went to the office before sunrise and took care of a few last-minute things before I took off. I could do my emails on the flight, but the physical stuff, like the packages and the flower arrangements needed to be handled in person.

  Hours later, it was time to go, so I grabbed my purse and headed to the lobby. I wasn’t bringing a carry-on except my purse and laptop, along with some snacks for Derek, so I didn’t need luggage.

  Just as I passed the elevator, Deacon stepped out.

  He was in jeans and a shirt, probably in the lab for the day. His eyes immediately went to mine, his gaze softening like he was happy to see me. His reactions weren’t stark and obvious, but they were noticeable if you knew him well enough. “You’re still here.”

  “I’m about to head to the airport now, actually.”

  “Which airport?”

  “JFK.”

  We both stepped outside, where his car was waiting.

  I would wave down a cab once he was gone, so I stayed on the sidewalk and waited for him to leave.

  The driver walked around the car to open the back door for him. “Morning, Mr. Hamilton.”

  “Change of plans.” Deacon gripped the strap of his bag over his shoulder. “You’re going to take Cleo to JFK.”

  My mouth almost dropped. “Whoa, what? No. Deacon, I’m fine.”

  “Get in.” He nodded to the back seat.

  “I can take a cab.”

  “I can take a cab,” he said. “Come on.”

  I took a deep breath, touched by the offer but also annoyed by it. “Deacon, that’s very sweet—”

  “I’m your client. You do what I say, right?”

  I stared at him.

  “Well, I’m telling you to get in this car. Now.”

  “My job is to make your life easier. Not—”

  “Knowing you’ll get there safely makes my life easier. Please get in.”

  The driver just stood there, unsure what to do.

  Since this was a standoff I wouldn’t win, I moved to the door. “It’s very unnecessary, but thank you.”

  “Have a safe flight.” He stared at me for a few seconds, his hand on the door.

  I got into the back seat and pulled in my legs.

  He stared down at me before he shut the door. Then he walked away, waving down a cab like he wasn’t some billionaire, just a regular person trying to get to work in Manhattan.

  My car pulled away, and I turned to look at him, watching him raise his hand and wave down a cab like he’d done it before.

  I’d been dreading this long flight back and forth across the country, but seeing him before I left made me look forward to it, made me happy to do something for him…when he always did things for me.

  Valerie had a mansion in Beverly Hills. It was in a quiet neighborhood with lots of distance between the homes, filled with palm trees, flowers, bushes, and the mountains nearby. I sat in the back of the private car and felt my heart race a million miles an hour. I would have taken a cab, but I thought it would make Valerie uncomfortable to let her son sit in the back of a taxi with a stranger, so I forked over the cash for something nice.

  Deacon would pay me back.

  I got out of the car and walked to the double doors. It was a beautiful two-story home with a huge entryway and plenty of land around it. I assumed this was where Deacon had been living while he was married, and it seemed like I was stepping into his past, meeting a version of him that didn’t exist anymore.

  I rang the doorbell.

  A few minutes passed before Valerie opened the door.

  I knew it was her without introduction.

  She was the supermodel type, with thick hair, heavy makeup, in short-shorts and a top that showed some of her belly button piercing. She was tall, stunning, confident…a trophy wife. I couldn’t blame Deacon for being attracted to her, even though I thought he could do better.

  I forced a smile and extended my hand. “Valerie, it’s nice to meet you in person. Your home is stunning. And I love your hair.” Compliments right off the bat were probably the best way to keep her in a good mood.

  It worked. She shook my hand and smiled. “Thank you. We’ve been here for a long time now. It’s got everything we need.”

  “And California weather,” I said with a chuckle. “Already feels like summer.”

  “Oh, honey. It feels like summer in October.” She stepped aside and allowed me inside. “Let me get Derek.” She turned away and walked off. “Derek!”

  I turned to the wall, seeing Deacon’s wedding picture right in the entryway.

  He was in a black suit, looking just as handsome as he did whenever I saw him dressed up. He held Valerie’s hands as he faced her during the ceremony. She was in a mermaid gown, gorgeous, perfect, every guy’s dream wife.

  It made me sick to my stomach.

  I turned away and noticed the small suitcase by the door, decorated in a superhero print. That must belong to Derek.

  Valerie returned, her heels tapping against the hardwood floor, her hand holding the cutest little boy I’d ever seen.

  Oh my god, he looked just like Deacon.

  Derek stared up at me, wearing jeans and a shirt with the Giants logo on it. With thick dark hair, brown eyes, and fair skin, his features were so similar to Deacon’s that it was unbelievable. Pictures didn’t do him justice. He stared up at me, like he didn’t know what to make of me.

  “Derek, this is Cleo. She’s going to take you to see Dad.”

  Derek stared at me before he turned back to his mom. “She’s friends with Dad?”

  “Yes.” Valerie kneeled down so they were eye level. “You want to see Dad, right?”

  He nodded.

  “She’s gonna take you there. She’ll take good care of you, alright?”

  I moved to my knees on the floor, because squatting was too hard in my pencil skirt. Letting the tile hurt my knees was better. “Hey, Derek. I know you’re nervous because you don’t know me, but we’re going to be great friends. I promise.”

  He stared at me just the way his father did.

  It made my heart swell three times its size.

  “Your father is going to be so happy to see you. He loves you so much.” I felt myself get emotional just looking at him, but I did my best to remain professional in front of Valerie. “We’ve got a lot of fun things planned for you guys this weekend.”

  “Like what?” he asked.

  “Fishing. You like fishing, right?”

  He nodded.

  Valerie patted him on the back. “You okay, baby?”

  He nodded.

  She hugged him tight and kissed his forehead. “I love you, sweetheart.”

  “I love you too, Mom.”

  She rose to her feet and finally let me have him.

  I looked at his suitcase. “I like your luggage, Derek.”

  “Thanks,” he said quietly. “Dad got it for me…”

  “That was really thoughtful of him.” I grabbed the handle of the bag then extended my other hand to him.

  He didn’t hesitate before he took it.

  My heart doubled in size again.

  Valerie followed us out. “I want an update the second you get to New York, alright?”

  “Of course. You got it.” I took Derek to the car, where the driver got out and put his luggage away.

  Valerie crossed her arms over her chest and watched me take her son away, emotion in her eyes, like she really loved her son…even if she never truly loved his father.

  Derek must have been on a plane before because he wasn’t scared in the least. He was well-behaved, sitting in his chair with his seat belt on, watching the flight attendants move up and down the aisles. He didn’t need a d
evice to keep him occupied. He was fine just sitting there.

  I opened my bag and pulled out a coloring book with crayons. “You want to color with me?”

  He looked at the book, and without saying a word, he reached out his hand.

  I smiled because he was just like Deacon. I handed it to him.

  “Thank you.”

  Okay, maybe he wasn’t just like Deacon.

  I also pulled out a bag of cereal, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and a banana. “Hungry?”

  He pointed at the cereal. “Yes.”

  I handed him the bag.

  He opened it and dug hand little hand inside. “Thank you.”

  Man, this was the sweetest kid on the planet. “You’re welcome, Derek.” I set up our coloring books and put the crayons between us. “What are you going to color?”

  He flipped through the book, choosing a page that had a rocket. “This one.”

  “You like rockets?”

  He nodded. “Did you know the first Apollo landing to the moon was over fifty years ago?”

  No, I didn’t. “Wow. Do you want to be an astronaut when you grow up?”

  He shrugged. “Maybe. Dad says you don’t have to just be one thing, but you can be everything you want to be.”

  He hadn’t seen his father or spoken to him in months, but he seemed to remember him like he’d just talked to him. “Your father is right.”

  He grabbed a crayon and started to color. “I miss him…”

  “He missed you too, Derek.” I opened the page and picked a garden of flowers.

  He looked at my picture. “Nice.”

  “Thanks.”

  I didn’t have a lot of experience with kids, so I wasn’t sure how this flight was going to go. I didn’t know if he would be loud and rambunctious. Since he was only five, I wasn’t sure how to connect with him. But since he was just like Deacon…it was pretty easy.

  We landed in New York at almost nine.

  And Derek was definitely tired.

  We stopped to use the bathroom in the airport, and I got him a sandwich to eat in the car. We were in a private car again because I didn’t want to put him in a cab. I didn’t mind public transportation, but since he wasn’t my kid, I treated him the way my clients would want their children to be treated.