Wrong For Me

by Meagan Brandy

  Day one of academy always has me high-strung. I’ll be pulling a twelve-hour shift today and likely every other day for a while. It’s only my second time kicking off the program as the official coordinator since I myself graduated Blaze last year, and I plan to nail it.

  Especially since Rowan, my close friend and neighbor growing up, finally passed his entrance exams. This is his chance to prove he’s tough enough to call himself a Blaze, something he’s wanted since my dad brought him here on a tour freshman year.

  Blaze is what we call the advanced specialized team here at Blackline Academy. Only the ones who excelled at entrance exams can even attempt to try for it. Even then, you still have to be hand-selected to participate in the extended program, and Rowan is determined to make it happen. He was devastated when I passed on my first go, and he didn’t, but he never let it keep him from coming back and trying again. Even my dad, who isn’t exactly fond of him for whatever reason, has mentioned the dedication he’s seen.

  “Oak!”

  Speak of the devil.

  I spin around and smile at Rowan as he jogs up, his duffel bag flung over his shoulder.

  “Hey! Ready for today?” I ask him as he leans in to kiss my cheek.

  “Hell yeah. Watch me rock this, Oakley. I’ve got it in the bag.”

  I laugh and slip through the door he’s holding open for me. “It’s gonna be hard, Rowan. You should expect the worst, and sometimes, it’ll seem easier. That’s what I had to do.”

  “Nah, I not only have you here to share all your tricks …” He backs me against the counter, and my eyes dart to the door, seeing a few students headed this way. His eyes drop to my lips and then slowly come back to mine. “But I’ve also got a feeling this whole thing will be easier than I thought.”

  I eye him. First, because thoughts like that completely contradict everything I assumed he was feeling. No part of this is easy, and it shouldn’t be approached as if it is. Unless, of course, psyching himself out works as motivation for him. And, second, where the hell is this boldness coming from?

  I mean, I’m all for it. I’ve pushed the friendship line a thousand times over the years, hoping he’d take the bait, but in the end, he’s never bitten. He’s either never noticed or pretended not to.

  But this? Right now? His lower half flush against me as I press against the counter, the curves of his muscles rubbing against my chest, reminding me how thin these damn T-shirts are. This is the bravest side of Rowan I’ve ever seen. I look from his dark hair to his honey eyes.

  “You think you’ve got what it takes?” I tease.

  He smirks, flipping my ponytail over my shoulder. “Oh, yeah.”

  I follow his lead, placing my hands on his upper arms, feeling my way across the cuts of his biceps, and he glances over his shoulder and then back.

  “Care to share why?”

  With an uneasy chuckle, he licks his lips and steps back as people shuffle in and head down the hall. “I’d better get going. Feel like getting wings tonight?”

  I take a deep breath, offering a half-smile. “I wish, Row, but I can’t. I’ll be working late today.”

  I do my best to keep the frown off my face, but he just came in hot and blew out with the breeze. A girl needs time to process.

  He nods, a deep crease forming across his forehead. “Right. Yeah.” He looks back at me. “You have to work late? You can’t … take anything home and do it there?”

  I tilt my head. “This is nothing new; you know that. I work ridiculous hours the first couple of weeks of every new group to smooth out the kinks. It’s the busiest time for me. And, yeah, I could take it home … if I wanted to jeopardize the program.”

  “I know, but …” He curses under his breath and then narrows his eyes at me. “Just be smart, Oakley, okay?”

  My head pulls back, but I don’t get a chance to ask him what he’s referring to because the alarm sounds, indicating roll call in ninety seconds.

  With a shake of his head, he sighs and storms through the door, leaving me standing here wondering what the hell all that was about.

  Chapter Two

  Oakley

  “Hey.”

  I look up with a smile. “Hi. Done already?” I glance at the clock, seeing it’s already lunchtime for the recruits.

  “Yep. Come eat at my truck with me?”

  My shoulders slump. “I wish I could, but I have so much to do. Someone broke the lock off the back door last night, so I’m waiting for the locksmith to get here. I had a company say they could be here in an hour, but I called my dad, and he said I had to wait for a certain guy.” I roll my eyes. “And, apparently, this certain guy will be here when he gets here. I’ll be eating on the clock.”

  Rowan scowls at me. “Isn’t that not allowed or something? You’ve gotta eat, Oakley. Come on.”

  He seems so adamant; it’s strange.

  “Well … considering my dad owns this place, it’s not only allowed, but it’s also mandatory.” I watch him fidget with the strap of his bag. “Everything okay?”

  “You coming or not?”

  I frown at him. “What’s your issue?”

  “Forget it. Look, I wanted to tell you before, but there was never really a good time.”

  “Good time for … what?”

  He opens his mouth to speak but doesn’t get the chance.

  “Should have known. Wherever Rowan is, his shadow is, too.”

  A chill runs down my spine as he speaks.

  My body freezes, my chest heating.

  No. No, no, no …

  Rowan frowns, drops his gaze to the floor, and then looks back up with a tight smile. He leans in to kiss my cheek and then uses his middle finger to salute the ass behind me.

  On his way to his truck, Rowan glances back three times, frowning, even though he can’t see through the reflective window. But, as soon as he hits the parking lot, he starts chatting with some of his classmates.

  With a swallow, I force an unaffected glare on my face and then spin around. But the sassy words I had planned die on my lips the minute my eyes crash into a pair of hunter-green eyes.

  Alec.

  Instantly, he scowls, those dark eyes narrowing farther by the second, but he says nothing. He simply stares a minute and shakes his head. Then, when his phone beeps in his pocket, he roughly exits through the door he entered.

  It’s probably a good thing, too, considering every time he speaks in my presence, it’s with the sole purpose of being a dick. He loves to remind me how I’m more worthless to him than the smoke stains on his white T-shirt.

  And maybe, at some point, I was.

  But I’m not anymore.

  I earned the coveted title. I graduated Blaze, just as he did.

  I just chose not to go out on official Blaze business afterward—whatever that truly entails.

  All I wanted was to be a part of the journey these men and women willingly take, to have the knowledge and understanding needed to get on their level, and push them to be a better version of themselves, to help them realize they were stronger than even they knew. Help create heroes.

  Had I not gone through what they were set to, how could I sit back and demand anything of anyone?

  With a sigh, I lean back in my chair, crossing my arms.

  My dad has some serious explaining to do. He must have worked damn hard to pull this wool over my head.

  So, Alec is back.

  Two years ago—the day after my eighteenth birthday, to be exact—he left for Northern California. They had some heavy fires, several over the course of a year, so my dad took his highest-ranking Blaze in Blackline history and sent him on his way.

  I remember it was just after my and Rowan’s high school graduation when the offer rolled in. I was set to start at Blackline that fall, and Rowan had just gotten word he’d failed his first attempt at entrance.

  Alec had only just started acting like a decent human right around then. He seemed more relaxed than ever before. So, at firs
t, I thought he was going to pass on the job and choose to stay here in our hometown instead.

  For the first time in years, he stopped making comments every five seconds about how I was Rowan’s unwanted shadow and how he’d never see me the way I hoped. Alec even started to come around a bit more. Well, more than he had all through our high school years anyway, which instantly had me on edge. I had to be sure I was always on top of my game, for fear he’d be quick to throw me off.

  He came along to several end-of-year events and offered to be our DD on more than one occasion. Sure, that usually meant he acted like my dad and embarrassed me by refusing to let me drink. Every time I did, he’d tell some crap story about me as a kid. Eventually, I just gave up and did what I could to have fun, sober.

  But, after our last trip to the beach that summer, he started acting even more out of character. He didn’t tease anymore. In fact, he didn’t say anything, but he was always there. That had me on high alert as he waited in the wings to burn the bridge, should I try to cross it.

  Then, the night before he left, I woke up to get a drink of water and heard Rowan and Alec arguing out front. I couldn’t hear much, just Alec telling Rowan how selfish he was and that he was done waiting on standby. Then, Rowan mentioned something about holding all the cards. The next day, Alec was gone.

  I hadn’t even known until Rowan casually mentioned it two days later.

  The first few weeks that followed, everything felt off. I was so used to the anxiety that would build every time there was a possibility he’d be near that when the source of the nerves was gone, it felt bizarre. But, after a while, it was like he had never been there. Rowan never spoke of him, my dad didn’t say a word, and day-to-day living went smoothly. I didn’t have to look over my shoulder anymore.

  Everything was … normal. Comfortable.

  But now? Less than two minutes under the same roof as him?

  My heart is racing, my cheeks are burning, and I can’t think straight.

  All clear signs … Alec is back, and so is the rush that comes along with him.

  Chapter Three

  Oakley

  I pretend not to hear Rowan approach and continue going over today’s schedule.

  “Come on now, Oaks. Don’t be mad at me.” He walks up behind me, his chest brushing against my back. “You know you can’t be mad at me,” he whispers with a smile, but his cutesy boy act won’t cut it right now.

  I shake my head and keep reading. “I’m not mad, Rowan, just thrown off. You knew day one was important. Clearly, you were aware he was here. It would’ve been nice to have a bit of a warning.”

  “I just … it’s not like your dad warned you, and I didn’t want to freak you out. You were so pumped for start, I didn’t wanna ruin it. I know how much you hate him.”

  “My dad not telling me is another story. And I don’t hate him. He’s just … difficult to be around.”

  Rowan’s hands find my upper arms, and he spins me to face him, his caramel eyes weary and flitting between mine. “How so?”

  A laugh bubbles out of me. “How so? Seriously? Row, all he ever does is try to make me feel like a fool. If he does that here, tries to undermine me in front of everyone, the other instructors might start to question my abilities. I won’t have that. The staff respects me—and not because of my dad. I earned it. I don’t want his perception of me to ruin that.”

  “So, avoid him,” he tells me, his forehead pinched.

  “How exactly do you expect me to do that? Apparently, he replaced Reff, meaning he and I are basically partners.”

  “Partners?”

  My brows lift slightly, and I nod.

  “Shit.” He licks his lips and glances away and then back.

  I eye him. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah.” He nods, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah, I’m good.”

  With a small smile, I tilt my head, placing my hand on his chest. “Spill it, Row. What’s going on?”

  The hard thud of the door hitting the wall has our heads turning in that direction, finding Alec standing there with a blank expression.

  He looks from me to my hand on Rowan’s chest and back, his eyes taking on a hardened glare. With his jaw set tight, his hands form fists at his sides.

  I didn’t notice, but Rowan must have moved closer because when I try to pull my hand back, I find it’s stuck between us.

  I lift my gaze to Rowan, finding his eyes tight around the edges, his focus on the other man in the room.

  I feel like I’m missing something here …

  As if I spoke it out loud, Alec breaks his frozen state and drops a large file on my desk, one I didn’t even realize he’d taken. “There’s no date next to the signature on this guy’s clearance papers. He shouldn’t have been allowed to start today.”

  “That’s not possible.” With a shake of my head, I squeeze past Rowan, flipping open the folder to the page in question. “I triple-checked every … shit.”

  Alec scoffs, “If you’re too distracted with other things, perhaps this job isn’t for you.”

  I turn my scowl on him.

  Who the hell does he think he is? Where the hell does he think he is?

  Blaze or not, this is my zone. He just happens to be standing in it.

  “I’m great at what I do. And you know good and well, admin isn’t in my job descrip—”

  “Isn’t it?” he cuts me off, raising a brow. “Your signature’s all over these forms.”

  Fuming, I stand tall. “Like any professional trying to run an advanced program, I like order. To get it, I oversee as much as possible, as precaution, to smooth shit out, so I can focus on other things, like the success of the recruits. So, yes, you will see my name all over because I refuse to allow this academy to lack in any area. We’re highly sought out for a reason.”

  He stares, those green of his eyes burning into me. My cheeks heat, but I refuse to look away. His tricks are getting old.

  After a few moments, he gives a doubtful, “We’ll see.”

  “Don’t be a dick, Alec,” Rowan spits out, speaking for the first time.

  Alec’s gaze slices to him, anger rolling off him, but he doesn’t say a word.

  There’s crazy tension between these two, and while I wish I knew why, time’s ticking.

  “Rowan”—I look to him—“you should go.”

  He turns his glare on me. “You’re not coming?”

  “We talked about this. Day one, remember?”

  His frown deepens, and he licks his lips, nodding. “Right.”

  “Did you … need something?” I ask him.

  He stares at me for a moment and then laughs lightly. “Nah. I’m good. Call me tonight.”

  I nod, my eyes widening when his lips land at the corner of my mouth rather than on my cheek, like normal.

  Too stunned to react, I nod again.

  He walks backward toward the door, shifting his eyes to Alec. “See you around, Teach.”

  Still, Alec doesn’t respond. He just watches as the door shuts behind Rowan.

  Now that we’re alone, I spin to face him. “How dare you question me and my rank.”

  “What rank? You’re here, wasting away your hard work—”

  “Don’t act like you know shit about what I’m doing!”

  He takes a step closer, and my spine straightens.

  “I don’t see you taking jobs, like a true Blaze would.”

  “Don’t push me, Alec, or I might just push back.”

  A slow smirk stretches across his lips. “Bettin’ on it, Oakley. Bettin’ on it.”

  It’s eight before I see him again.

  “You done?” He frowns at the hand weights that line the wall of the gym.

  “Everything looks good. The locksmith came, repaired, and replaced what he needed. All the equipment was signed off on and cleared for use.” I nod, dusting my hands across my jeans, scanning the room to be sure I haven’t forgotten anything.

  “Did you not check th
ese before they were used today?”

  My brows pinch. “Course I did.”

  “Then, why are you wasting your time again?” He pulls his phone from his pocket, frowning at the screen before stuffing it back in.

  “There’s always room for error.”

  “Like the missing date from this morning?”

  I open my mouth to defend myself but think better of it. Even though it wasn’t my error, I was the second set of eyes and still missed it. I’ll take the hit.

  He stares at me and then turns around and walks back toward the door. “Come on.”

  “I—”

  “Now.”

  Dick.

  I should tell him to kick rocks, what with his demanding attitude and all, but when I follow him into the kitchen to find he’s had food delivered, I’m glad I didn’t.

  Without turning from the take-out boxes, he says, “Make a damn plate. All you’ve eaten today is a can of Pringles.”

  I don’t know how he knows that, but I don’t argue. The food smells too good, and I’m starved.

  I mumble a quick, “Thanks,” and step up to the counter.

  As I pile up a plate, I hear Alec take a seat at the table behind me, his chair scraping against the concrete floor. I do my best to ignore that he’s there, but I can feel him watching my every move.

  It’s always felt like a Cyclops stare where Alec is concerned. His eyes burn my skin anytime his gaze lands on mine, and I start to trip up, overanalyzing everything, knowing he’s watching. And he’s always watching.

  Once my plate is full, I go to exit the room, jumping when his water bottle slams against the tabletop.

  “I suggest you keep your little relationship off Blackline grounds. Unless you consider grinding on your boyfriend a special skill.”

  With a gasp, I spin to face him, but again, words fail me.

  With his arms crossed over his wide chest, his angry eyes sear me.

  He smirks; it’s ugly and full of malevolence. “Are you not going to deny you’re dry-fuckin’ on the clock? On my time? I am your superior after all.”