Wrong For Me

by Meagan Brandy

  With that, he storms out, leaving me where I sit.

  “Hey, Dad,” I whisper, hiding in the storage room.

  “Talk to me, Oaks.”

  A sad laugh escapes. He could always read me by my tone.

  “When are you coming home?”

  He sighs through the line. “I don’t know yet, baby girl. Soon, I hope.”

  “Dad, where was Alec these last two years? And don’t say you don’t know.”

  “He’s been working for me, Oaks. I’ve been in contact with him the entire time.”

  “So, he never even went to fight the fires? Is he even a real fireman?”

  My dad chuckles. “Yes, he is. And, yes, he did. You sure you wanna hear all this? You don’t wanna ask him?”

  “I’m asking you, Dad.”

  “Okay.” I hear him sit—wherever he is. “You know how you spent every extra minute at Blackline as a kid and started working there the day the school signed off on your permit?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, Alec picked up on your passion.”

  “Blaze?”

  “Yeah, Oaks. All you wanted was to be a part of the program. Well, all Alec ever wanted was to be a part of you.”

  A humorless laugh leaves me. “Please. It was his life goal to make me miserable.”

  “Oakley, that’s not fair. You were blind, and I swore to an eighteen-year-old boy that I wouldn’t intervene.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Alec was harsh to you sometimes, yes, but all that came from his need to protect you. It was instinctual for him when it came to you. Instant almost. He saw you right away …”

  My brows pinch.

  “But, Oaks … you saw Rowan.”

  I shake my head even though he can’t see me.

  “He waited and hoped you’d come around, but you never did. He joined Blaze for you, Oakley. Became a fireman, a man of honor, for you. He wanted to be his best version of himself … for you.”

  “I quit when he joined,” I whisper into the line, feeling completely weighted.

  “You did. And he almost gave up, Oakley. Did you know that?”

  “No.” I sit up straighter.

  “Yep. He personally brought me his withdrawal papers, and I knew instantly that it was because of you. We had a nice long talk, one we were meant to have eventually, and that’s when I knew for sure.”

  “Knew what?”

  “I knew I’d finally found the man who would lose his life for you, protect you when I no longer could.”

  “Dad—”

  “When he graduated, he was ready to go after you. Almost did, but things … got in the way. I had my buddy in Pasadena call him out for work. I let him sweat through his anger for a few weeks, fuel his newfound passion in fighting fires, saving lives. Then, I pulled him in for full Blaze work.”

  “I have so many questions,” I whisper. “More now than ever.”

  “Oakley … I can’t do this over the phone.”

  “Then, come home.”

  “I can’t, baby girl. Not right now.”

  “This whole thing sucks. Everything is messed up with you gone.”

  “He’s intense, isn’t he?”

  A laugh bubbles out of me. “That’s one way of putting it.”

  “Oakley … don’t feel guilty for feeling. Sometimes, things are just meant to be. Remember what I said before?”

  I close my eyes, whispering the words he spoke to me, “Be unstoppable.”

  “That’s right. Be bold, Oaks. Be brave.”

  “Dad?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Did Rowan know? About Alec and … everything.”

  “You mean, did Rowan know that his older brother wanted what he had but didn’t value?”

  I swallow, asking when I already know the answer, “Yeah.”

  “Yeah, baby girl, he knew.”

  Tears fall freely, running down my face and neck.

  Rowan knew. He knew how Alec felt.

  When Alec left, Rowan’s and my relationship flatlined, completely on a friend level. When just months before, when Alec had first started hanging around again, Rowan had been warm toward me. He’d call every morning and night, hug me, and kiss my cheek often.

  Much like recently when Alec came back.

  God, I’m an idiot.

  It was never about us with Rowan. It was about keeping me from Alec.

  He was using me to show Alec that he would never let him win.

  But this isn’t a game, and I’m not a prize.

  I love Rowan, he means the world to me, but I won’t do this back and forth with him. Not when there’s room for so much more.

  Alec wants it, and I just might give it to him.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Oakley

  I chew my lip as the last three recruits begin testing, Rowan being one of them.

  I know he’s been nervously awaiting today, as he’s had trouble with this particular drill over the last few weeks. I’m starting to wonder if the pressure of written exams is getting to him as he tries and tries but still can’t get it right.

  Unfortunately, today is looking to be no different. Right off the bat, he struggles with proper form.

  I peek at Alec, and like I knew it would be, his frown is on Rowan. He only watches for a moment before his attention shifts to the other two recruits also being tested.

  “You’re set to carry a twenty-four-foot, one-hundred-twenty-pound ladder on your shoulder. Use your ergonomic training to lift properly. Call out your movements.”

  Two call out their positions, giving a play-by-play of their steps and assessment of the area.

  Rowan gets his ladder positioned, and when he stands, turning to head for the wall, I wince.

  “Your moves, recruit,” Alec reminds him. “What are you looking for?”

  Rowan continues forward, growling, “Electrical hazards.”

  “Let it be known. When you’re on a job, your team needs to be aware of all possible dangers.”

  Rowan makes it to the deposit point, but I instantly see his error and have to look away. His ladder is only two-and-a-half feet from the wall when it’s supposed to be a full three. An automatic fail.

  Alec’s eyes cut to mine and then back. Neither of us corrects him. This is something we’ll go over in one-on-one evals.

  The first of the two finishes at four minutes and forty-two seconds.

  Rowan and the last student, Jayden, are at the same point. They begin tying the halyard, the rope connected to the ladder that helps secure it in place.

  Jayden steps back first and then Rowan, and I stop the clock, three seconds past the allotted time.

  Alec’s eyes expectantly meet mine.

  “Five three.” I glance at Rowan, and his shoulders drop a fraction of an inch.

  He lets out a quiet curse and stomps to the back sidewall where he grabs water with the rest of the group.

  With a sigh, I slide off my stool, Alec falling in line beside me.

  “It’s sad,” Alec spits in a whisper. “How your attention’s glued to him.”

  He never reacts like a normal human when Rowan’s involved, so I ignore his comment, not taking my eyes off Rowan. “I want to help him.”

  “Course you fucking do.”

  “He wants this, Alec.”

  “Yeah?” He leans in some, whispering in my ear, “Well, not everything we want is so easily obtained, Oakley.”

  I turn to glare at Alec, but my gaze is pulled to the boys goofing off in the corner.

  “Please. You’re wound tight, Daniels.”

  Rowan chuckles, one hand on his hip, the other squirting water into his mouth. He shrugs a shoulder.

  “Oakley!” Gio shouts. “Rowan here needs some aid.”

  When I pop an eyebrow, Rowan chuckles through a grin.

  “He could use a good night in with his girl.”

  I tilt my head, grinning through nerves. “I guess he’d better find himself one
then, huh?”

  As soon as the words leave me, Alec goes stiff at my side.

  When Gio gives an awkward laugh, my eyes shift to Rowan, finding the frown I knew would be there. Slowly, his eyes move from mine to the man beside me and back.

  For the first time in all our years of friendship, I’m the one to squash the rumor. I blew away the smoke that had been fogging the line we’d been walking for years. In front of his friends. In front of Alec.

  For Alec?

  Rowan’s brows pull in again, but this time, it’s different. Pinched tight around the edges, his light-brown eyes hold mine.

  It’s clear the second he sees it—the shift—and his eyes slope at the edges.

  But, before anyone catches on, he laughs it off, playfully shoving Gio. “Let’s hit the showers before we get our asses chewed, fellas.” And, with that, he’s gone, the remaining stragglers following behind.

  Once the door clicks shut, I lick my lips, inhaling deeply, right as Alec’s front hits my back.

  “Turn around,” he whispers with gentle force.

  My eyes close. “Not now. Not here,” I whisper back, a light shudder running through me when his deep inhale has his strong chest pressing into my back.

  Before he can respond, because I know he will, I break away and head straight for the doors. I don’t dare look back at the man behind me as I rush to my car for a quiet, solo lunch.

  Unfortunately, the hour is over too quickly, and before I know it, it’s time to go back in.

  I ignore the others in the parking lot and make my way to the doors. But, before I can enter, Rowan intercepts me and pulls me to the side.

  “Rowan, what the hell?” I glare, yanking my arm back.

  “What was that today?” he questions.

  “I cleared up a misconception. Even you have to admit that it was a long time coming.”

  “What’s going on, Oakley? You’re acting different.” He starts pacing in front of me. “We haven’t hung out with each other all week. I haven’t even been able to reach you on your cell the last few days. I feel like you’re pushing me out.”

  “It hasn’t been intentional or to hurt you. I’ve just been busy with the academy, and Alec’s been there …” I trail off, and he stops to glare. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

  “I want you to tell me you’re not involved with him.”

  “Would it matter if I was?”

  “Yes!” he hisses in a whisper. “It would.”

  “Why, Rowan?” I challenge. “Tell me why.”

  “Because …” The word is instant, but then he hesitates and looks away.

  “Because you thought I’d always be here, waiting for when you were ready?”

  His pinched gaze comes back to mine.

  “That’s fucked up, Row, and you know it.”

  “That’s not it! You’re acting like I don’t care for you, and I do. You have to know I do,” he pleads, his hands coming up to case in my cheeks. “Oakley, other than my mom, you’re the most important person in my life.”

  “Rowan …” I whisper, tears forming in my eyes. “I can’t be that girl anymore. I love you; I do. But there’s a big difference between being important and being yours. I can’t be left in limbo with you.”

  “Then, you won’t be,” he promises, and my hands lift to cover his. “Let’s give it a shot.”

  “I don’t want to, Row. Not anymore.”

  I give him a sad smile, and he shakes his head, stepping closer.

  “You don’t belong with him.”

  “Don’t do this.”

  “You don’t. He’s not what you think.”

  “Stop.” I remove his hands from my face and step back. “We’re not doing this.”

  As I walk away, he calls out, “I’ll prove it to you, Oakley. You’ll see.”

  I halt my steps, slowly turning to look back at him. “I don’t need you to prove anything, Rowan. Alec’s shown me enough for me to make my own decision. What I need from you is my old friend back. The one who cared for me because he wanted to, not because he was worried someone else did.”

  Rowan’s shoulders drop, and he lets out a deep breath. “Oaks … I’m sorry.”

  I nod, turning to the door before he sees the tears that start to fall.

  I fear our friendship won’t make it now that he knows where my head is, but I’ll do all I can to try to make it work.

  Because, at the end of the day, I don’t want to lose Rowan, but losing Alec isn’t an option.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Oakley

  My eyes fly open, and I panic when a hand clamps tight over my mouth. I try to scream, but more pressure is applied, and the figure grows closer.

  I can’t see, so I blindly swing and kick.

  I freeze when he hisses in my ear, “Stop! It’s me. Don’t fucking move. Don’t say a word. Got it?”

  Alec.

  I nod, inhaling deeply when he removes his hand.

  “Someone’s outside,” he whispers.

  “Call the police!” I whisper-yell.

  He frowns, lifting his finger to his lips, telling me to stop talking. “I’ve got this. Get in the closet, quietly close the door, and don’t come out unless you hear me call for you. Understood?”

  “What? Hell no! You’re—” He frowns again, so I lower my voice. “You’re not leaving me in here! Let me help.”

  “Fuck no.”

  “I’m not as fragile as you take me for, Alec.”

  “As far as I’m concerned, your ass is glass.” He scowls. “Stay. Here.”

  I pull myself closer to him. “Why can’t we call the cops?”

  “It doesn’t work—”

  He cuts off, and my eyes widen when we hear footsteps outside the window.

  Please, I mouth, tears starting to form as the threat gets real, don’t leave me here.

  He grips my waist, lifting and depositing me in the closet. “Don’t fucking move. I mean it. I’m going around the side.”

  I shake my head, gripping his bicep hard, begging without words not to be left alone.

  His face contorts, the vein of his jaw beating angrily. He lowers his head, quickly dragging his nose against my neck before he’s gone.

  Only when he walks from the room do I see the gun in the back of his jeans.

  Slapping my hand over my mouth, I squeeze my eyes tight, trying to force the tears away and anxiety down, but it’s no use.

  I tilt my head back, leaning against the wall as I listen to the chaos that starts to unfold.

  First, the window rustles as the stranger tries to wedge it open. Just as soon as the sound comes, it’s gone, and a loud crash from outside rattles the TV mounted on the wall.

  It continues for a few moments, and then my ears perk.

  Aside from Alec, I hear two more voices, both males. A loud force hits my window, followed by a deep grunt of pain.

  Alec. He’s outnumbered.

  No!

  I run from my closet to my dad’s room, quickly popping open his faux DVD player and grabbing the pistol that reveals itself. And I thought he was paranoid for having it.

  With a deep breath, I run from the room, screaming when I slam into a hard figure and fall to the floor.

  Terrified, wide eyes fly to the source, and I start to cry.

  “What the fuck did I tell you?” Alec grits through clenched teeth.

  But I ignore his anger and jump to my feet, wrapping my arms around him. “Are they gone?”

  His breathing is ragged, wild. “I told you to stay in the closet.”

  “There were two of them. I couldn’t … I had to help you.”

  He’s quiet for a moment, and finally, his body starts to relax, his breathing returning to normal. His chin dips just the slightest, burying his face farther into my arms locked around his neck.

  He takes one deep breath and then bends to lift me.

  Cocooned in the safety of his arms, I close my eyes as he carries me into my room a
nd lowers us onto my mattress.

  “Are you okay?” I whisper into the skin at his neck.

  A chuckle leaves him. “I’m good, princess.”

  Reluctantly, I pull back to stare at him.

  His eyes search mine, and the longer they do, the more I see. Wrinkles cover his normally smooth forehead and deeper creases cage in his bottomless green eyes. Worry.

  “What’s going on, Alec?” I whisper, my grip on his arm tightening. “Why are these people breaking in? What do they want?”

  Dark green eyes shift between mine. “You, Oakley. They want you.”

  My head slowly pulls back. “I … why?”

  “Blaze.”

  “Blaze …” I look off and then back. “Where’s my dad, Alec? What’s he done?”

  “Your dad is a good man, Oakley. So are the majority of the people who employ his crew.”

  “Blaze.”

  He nods, pulling me closer.

  “Tell me everything, Alec.”

  He sighs but gives me what I want. “Three years ago, a little girl was murdered in pure cold blood right in front of her mother. But no one believed the mom when she named the man who had done it, and somehow, once in court, the surveillance videos that had caught it all disappeared. The mother went to prison, and the man walked, scot-free.

  “Just before your graduation, your dad was hired by one of the woman’s sons, a brother to the little girl. In their world, murder and chaos are normal, but he couldn’t touch this man without serious consequences. Your dad is a prominent man in these people’s worlds, Oakley. He was hired to take away the murderer’s power and pulled it off without a hitch. Blaze went in and burned down his hidden warehouse. His entire operation—black market dealing and street drugs, money—was burned to the ground. Blaze makes everything look natural, so all his investigators could find were electrical hazards.”

  “So, how did they learn about my dad?”

  “An insider leaked the information. Your dad heard someone had been asking questions about an academy on the West Coast that was training henchmen. He knew they’d eventually find him, which meant finding you, so I went in undercover to learn how close they were. I was only days away from exposing the person, but your dad got a call saying Blackline’s name was being thrown around. Immediately, he left to try to throw them off and fix what he could, and he sent me here to protect you.” He eyes me. “Nobody’s ever hurt in the work he does. He only takes jobs that guarantee nothing and no one else is affected by it. He’d never put the innocent in harm’s way.”