by Kim Koby
Running into her a second time was a treat, and maybe not so unplanned after all. Was it a coincidence that they both returned to the chapel?
“Jett? You’re back.” She didn’t look surprised. He read her like a book.
“Yeah. You, too.” Not that he was complaining. In the darkness of everything happening at the hospital, it was a rare moment of sunshine.
She’d settled onto one of the mahogany pews. Her smile was soft, but sad. “I needed a break. It’s been a rough day. We lost one of the babies on the unit. It’s always heartbreaking to see them struggle. When they get to finally go home, it makes my job worthwhile.”
She paused, and he allowed her the space to breathe.
“In this job, you try not to get attached. Losing a baby is never easy. You understand the reality of life when you lose some of them, but other times it hits you like a two-by-four to the heart. They're so tiny and helpless, but we can only do so much.”
Jett rested a hand on her shoulder. “That’s sad. I’m sorry to hear about your loss.”
“Thank you.” She reached up and rubbed the smooth tubing of her stethoscope, then quietly asked, “Do you want to talk?”
“Not yet.”
She gently nudged him. “Holding it in won’t help. Talk to me.”
“I appreciate the offer, but I’m not ready.”
“Why did you come back to the chapel? Do you want to be alone? Or were you looking for me?” Her cheeks flushed over. She bashfully admitted, “I was hoping to see you again.”
“You were?” He was glad to see her as well, though surprised she was looking for a mini reunion. After all, she was the one who walked away from him all those years ago.
“I shouldn’t be here right now, but I snuck back.”
“My mother and I got into an argument. This entire thing…life support…there’s been a lot of disagreement. Will’s wife is ready to say goodbye and let his body make the final decision. My parents are fighting every step of the way, especially my mom.” He circled around the edge of the bench and sat beside her.
“It’s a difficult choice. Taxing. I’ve watched families struggle over this same situation, and it’s never easy. It brings you face-to-face with mortality. How do you feel about it all?”
“It’s been months. He’s not coming back to us. Eva should have the final say. Will is her husband. I’ve been torn on what to do, but being stuck in the middle of it, I’m pulled in both directions. Eva wants me to push for her right to make the final decision, and my parents are horrified and think she’s giving up on him. His brain damage is severe, and he’ll never be himself even if some miracle did allow him to function. Right now, it’s all machines.” He paused, then looked at Brandy. “Can I ask your professional opinion?”
“About life support? Every situation is different. With severe brain damage, that’s tough. I guess the question for me would be about the quality of his life if he were to survive.”
Jett nodded. Normally, talking about something this personal was hard. Brandy made it comfortable because of their history. “I appreciate your input. I haven’t talked about this in too long, but it’s impossible to know what to do.”
“There’s no right or wrong answers, Jett. There’s so much at play. Sometimes it’s religion that touches people’s choices, beliefs, or fear of what happens next. There’s loneliness, being afraid to say goodbye, and so much more. On the other hand, I have seen miracles. Again, there is no right and wrong.”
He breathed easier sitting beside her. For a moment, he didn’t feel so alone. “I need to get my head back in the game. If we have any chance of making the playoffs, we’re going to need to play better than we have been. Morale is down, my brain is scattered, and the other guys are all going through their own stuff. Hard to focus on football when my brother is nothing more than a vegetable attached to machines. Talk to me about your mother. How’s she doing? She still alive?”
“Yep, still kicking. She’s thrilled to have me back in Texas, though if I’m being truthful, I needed a breather. Now that I’m home, I can do more to help, but she’s wearing me down. She’s always negative, and constantly complains about my father who left how many years ago? Then she goes on about how you can’t trust men. She’s either in pain, angry at the world and men, or finding another reason to be upset. A real treat to be around some days,” she quipped sarcastically. “I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but well…You’ve met her.”
He glanced down at her wedding finger. “Sounds like you have your hands full. I don’t see a ring. No marriage? Kids?”
“Been too busy taking care of everybody else to take care of myself.”
“You were always like that.” He stretched his arm across the back of the pew. “I feel like a caged bird in here. Hard for me to stay put, but I’m off for a couple of days. Rare treat during ball season. I’m torn between wanting to be here and wanting to get as far away as possible. Then the guilt kicks in for even thinking that way.”
“Don’t judge your feelings. Just go through them. By the way, I read about Terry Jones. That was a shock.”
“Yeah. Most of the players are still processing the news. Just…wow, yeah. He was one of the good guys and led by example. Did you know about his brother?”
She cocked her head to the side, wondering what his brother had to do with anything. “His brother? No. Tell me.”
“Terry’s brother died at sixteen—drugs and gang related stuff. It was tragic. Anyway, it’s one of the reasons he was determined to give back to the community. The tragedy stayed with him, and he wanted to make a difference. He felt like his brother’s life was wasted before he could right himself and find his way.”
“Wow,” she said. “I had no idea.”
“I like you as a blonde,” he noted. She changed her look but was still just as attractive as ever.
She laughed. “You noticed? I forgot you haven’t seen me this way. It’s been this way for almost four years.”
“It looks good on you,” he encouraged.
“Thanks.” She twisted her finger around a strand of hair, then let it fall. Had he noticed the extra weight she’d gained? If he had, he was kind enough not to comment. “It’s great to see you, Jett. Unfortunately, I need to get back to work. Best of luck with everything. Again, I’m sorry about your brother’s condition. If you need me, feel free to find me upstairs.”
They said their good-byes again and went their separate ways.
Jett made his way back to his brother’s room. Eva had arrived. She sat in a chair beside his mother. He reached down and hugged her. “Eva, how are you doing?”
“I’m not going to lie, it’s been tough. I’m wearing down.” She dabbed at her eyes with a tissue.
His mother said nothing.
Eva continued. “This could go on indefinitely. We all need to get back to our lives.”
Mrs. Warren snapped to attention after hearing Eva’s comment. “Oh, so this is about your life, not my son’s?”
“Mom…Don’t,” Jett warned.
“If you don’t want to be inconvenienced by my son’s condition, then maybe you should stop coming by. Some of us will wait forever if there’s a chance of his recovery.”
Eva clenched her teeth. “There won’t be a recovery. The doctors made that clear. He’s only still alive because of the machinery. Science can only do so much. It can’t bring back Will, not the way that we know him. Not the way he’d want to live.”
“So you suggest we euthanize my boy, like putting down a dog?” She shook her head in disgust. “How could you be so cruel?”
“I can’t do this again,” Jett growled. “I’ll come back later. This constant battle isn’t doing us any favors. It’s time to come to a decision, and quite honestly, I think Eva is right. We should say our goodbyes. You know how I feel, but I can’t be a mediator right now.”
His brother’s situation touched every aspect of his life. Every time he put his head down to sleep, he was jerked ba
ck into an internal debate about what to do.
As for work, his career was on the line. He wasn’t playing his best, and if he kept it up, he could lose his contract. He was an elite player, but Will’s situation had drained him of every drop of energy. He was going through the motions, but they all knew he was capable of better.
Chapter 5
Brandy wanted to kick herself. The moment the words fell from her lips, she regretted them. “I ran into Jett Warren at the hospital. Seems his brother was in a bad accident.”
“Ah, the boy who chose football over the girl he claimed was the love of his life. You could have been by his side, living in luxury. Apparently, women are distractions. Men are idiots. Give them a little inconvenience and they’re running out the door like children. Better you found out now, instead of down the road.”
“Maybe you forget, but I broke up with him. Remember? Besides, we were just kids. I had my own career to build and I was tired of living in the shadows.” She moved into the kitchen and checked her mother’s medication. “Did you take everything?”
Her mother called out. “Yes, ma’am, like a good little girl.”
“Don’t be that way, Mom. You know I’m only trying to help.” Brandy groaned under her breath. It was always the same. Her mother sapped all her energy away in mere seconds.
She droned on. “I don’t know why I bother. I don’t feel any better, but the doctors have no problem taking my money. The pharmacies are in on it, too. It never goes away. What’s the point of taking all of those pills?”
“It’s not going to go away. The medicine isn’t about curing you, but about controlling your issues so they don’t get worse. Think about it, if you hadn’t treated this early on it could have been so much worse. It slows the progression.”
“Well, the side effects alone are miserable. Maybe none of this would have happened if…”
Brandy was already in front of her. She shot her hand up. “Not today. Please. I’m tired. We lost one of the infants, and I’m exhausted.”
She acknowledged her with a nod, then shrugged her shoulders. “Well, you know anyway. That father of yours.”
Brandy turned from her mother.
Her thoughts drifted back to the chapel. Seeing Jett triggered all sorts of feelings. How many years had it been? Her heart sped up as he sat on her mind. He looked good. Great. So handsome. He’d turned into a full-grown man! His shoulders went on forever. His chest was broad and strong, and his jawline was now specked with the shadow of stubble, something that seemed to make him look even sexier. Time had passed, but apparently, she could crush on the same guy at sixteen or well into his manhood. It was odd to be attracted to the very man she walked away from all those years ago.
She ended up flushing away all her good feelings the second she’d mentioned it to her mother. Why? Why did she say something? Brandy groaned. She knew better.
Her mom insisted on playing the what if game. There was no what if. Things happened the way they needed to.
“Did you eat?” Her mother was like taking care of a child at times. It wore thin quickly.
“Would you be a dear and heat me some soup?” She was plenty capable, but liked to be catered to, even though she wouldn’t admit it.
Not long after, Brandy returned from the kitchen with a bowl of Tomato Bisque. “How was your day?”
“The same as yesterday.”
“Did you read anything interesting, or watch any good movies?”
She shrugged. “Disability is doing an audit soon. You’ll help me with my paperwork, right?”
“Sure. Have you talked to Betty lately?”
“That old hag? Not since she ran off with Lula’s husband.”
“What? When did that happen?”
She perked up, happy to have some fodder. “Oh, yeah. At Tammy Sue’s anniversary party. Somebody caught them smooching in a bathroom stall. Not like I was invited anyway.”
“After what you said to Tammy Sue, do you blame her?”
Her mother twisted up her lips. “Serves her right. If it looks like a duck…I miss the Bingo ladies, though. Just not Tammy Sue. You’d think they’d stop by more often, but no. Now that I’m not driving, it’s not like I can get there on my own.”
“Why don’t you ask somebody to pick you up?” she suggested.
“I don’t like to be a bother.”
Brandy shook her head. Nope. She’d only ask her daughter to do everything in the world for her.
She made sure her mom was fed, finished cleaning up a few things, then headed out.
When she’d first moved back into the area, she’d considered moving in with her mother to make things easier on them. Thankfully, she came to her senses. She’d need her own space if she wanted to keep her sanity.
Chapter 6
Jett was tired of living a lie. He was tired of always needing to be strong and have answers. Of course, he’d never been through something of this nature before. It challenged every brain cell he had. There was no preparation, no book to read, no practice, and no do over.
After running into Brandy, he realized how desperately he’d needed to talk to someone. He’d bottled up all his feelings to deal with everybody else’s.
Talking with her was a nice change of pace. He’d let his guard down, which was a rarity. It wasn’t often he’d let somebody in. He’d avoided the conversation whenever he could. That he was immediately comfortable around her spoke volumes.
Seeing Brandy made a bigger impact on him than he’d realized. Sure, going down memory lane was one thing, but it was the way he felt sitting beside her that truly caught his attention.
There was an immediate connection, like no time had passed. He was comfortable speaking with her, almost like he had a safety net. He could say the things he couldn’t say to his mother or Eva. Not even to his buddies on the team.
Then there was the attraction. He could deny it all he wanted, but just like back in school, he was immediately drawn to her. All these years later, and she still made his heart rev a little faster. Even if she did dump him in the end. Time had passed, and he’d moved on.
Once home, he switched into his swim trunks. While it was normally a bit cooler, they’d been having an unseasonably mild stretch of weather. It made diving into the pool a treat.
The pool was one of his favorite things about the house and property he’d acquired after landing his first big contract with the Rebels. The landscaping around it was gorgeous, and they’d added in a small waterfall feature cascading over rocks on one end, but it was useable space just the same. Running and swimming laps were his favorite ways to blow off steam. Lifting iron was another massive part of his workout, but didn’t give him the feeling of freedom that swimming and running did.
After thirty laps, he stopped and leaned against the side of the pool. Jett drew in a deep breath, grateful for the moment of peace. Most of his stress melted away like ice cream on a sweltering hot day.
He figured a few more laps should finish doing the job, then he’d collapse on the sofa and watch some clips of the latest games he’d taped. It was the best way to critique his performance on the field, and the best way to improve. He’d let too many small mistakes sneak into his game this season and needed to turn things around.
After a shower to wash off the chlorine from the pool, he grabbed a couple slabs of beef from the massive refrigerator, then went back for a batch of his homemade sauce.
As for the sauce, it was a work in progress. He’d almost hit perfection, but there was something tiny missing. He was getting closer, and soon it would be a gift for the gods. Maybe another pinch of brown sugar, a drizzle of honey, or a smidge more of vinegar would do it, but he wouldn’t settle until it turned every nerve in his body into a mound of jelly in the most delightful way.
His smoker and grill were custom built. It was a double decker unit and a solid twenty feet long. That baby was his pride and joy. Set him back a pretty penny when he outfitted his outdoor kitchen, but it was
worth every cent.
He threw the meat on the grill and let it do its thing. The secret was to cook it low and slow. Tender, fall-off-the-bone ribs were his favorite. By the time dinner rolled around, he’d have magic on a plate, a little piece of heaven, and a lot of protein to pack away. He needed the extra calories during game season. If he could pack them away via meat, he was happy.
While others on his team had strict food regimens balancing this percentage of protein versus carbs, Jett preferred to eat until he was full, knowing he was getting the things that his body needed. He was hard and tight, his abs were defined beyond definition, his body was strong, and the lack of junk kept him from adding a layer of fat.
He burned through tons of calories while he played. It was on the off-season that he had to be careful not to overdo it. If he stuck to some quality meat and time with his grill, it was a win-win.
Jett contemplated his need to win. In his brother’s circumstance, what was winning? What if it had been him held hostage to the hospital beds and life support?
Will was a tagalong little brother, always by his side.
He reached over and picked up the football that sat nearby. He spiraled it into the air above him, then caught it as it dropped. Palming the pig skin, he tried to remember the last time they’d tossed a ball. Childhood, family picnics, backyard play, but as adults they’d gone on to do their own thing. They still talked, but time together wasn’t available like during the simplicity of youth. If only he could share a few more moments with him.
His shoulders fell. The reality that he’d never have another conversation, another ball toss, or another laugh with his brother hit him hard. He dropped his head into his hands and forced back the tears that wanted to fall.
His body shuddered as the grief pushed through him like a tsunami.
The doorbell rang, setting off a choir of chimes. He stood up to answer it, grateful for the temporary distraction. Thinking of his brother always left his heart heavy.