by Kim Koby
Jett padded down the hallways and opened the hand-carved door. “Hey.”
Brandy stood on the other side of the doorway. Her shoulders slumped. “I should have called, but I don’t have your number. I wasn’t sure where else to go. I hope it’s okay that I stopped by.”
“Have you been crying? Are you okay?” Jett opened the door wider. “Come inside.”
She nodded. “I’m fine. It’s just stress. I’m desperate to talk to somebody, and honestly, I’m not close to too many people these days. Between work and my mother, there isn’t much time to socialize or make new friends. Anyway, seeing you reminded me how we used to talk for hours. You were so easy to talk to.”
He waited. It seemed like she had more to say.
Brandy finally spoke again. “I should go. I didn’t think. I didn’t mean to intrude on your time.”
“No. It’s okay. How did you find the place?”
“You’re Jett Warren,” she answered with a half-smile. “Famous people don’t get quite as much privacy as others. Everybody knows who owns the massive homes around these parts.”
“I guess that’s true. Have you eaten? I’m about to pull a batch of ribs off the grill shortly.”
She flustered with embarrassment. “It was wrong of me to show up unannounced. I’m sorry. I’ll leave.”
“Brandy, stop. You came here for a reason. To be honest, it’s nice to see you. I’ve been lost in my head trying to find peace over Will’s situation. Company would be a nice break.”
She stared at him, almost unable to move. “You look great.”
“Thanks. You do, too.”
A slow, smoldering look lingered between them. He forced himself to turn away. He shouldn’t be having the kinds of thoughts he was having.
“Come inside. Standing in the foyer isn’t doing us any favors. I’ll grab you a drink and we can sit out back. What’s going on?”
“Promise you won’t laugh. Saying it aloud makes it sound silly, but my mother is draining me of my sanity. Sometimes I can’t get away from her fast enough, then I feel guilty for even thinking that way.”
“I feel you. I couldn’t leave the hospital fast enough today. The energy between my sister-in-law and my mother is toxic right now.” He took a soda out of the fridge. “You still do pop?”
“Yeah, diet please.”
He handed Brandy the bottle, then led her outside. They settled into the overstuffed outdoor seating. He’d gone out of his way to buy comfortable patio furniture. Nothing ruined a good meal like a flimsy, uncomfortable chair.
The outdoor kitchen housed a large wrap around sofa and armchairs made with indoor-outdoor material. A ceiling fan overhead whirled constantly, giving them a soft, steady breeze. The kitchen also housed a full-fledged area for cooking meals, along with his smoker and grill, and rivaled any indoor kitchen for practicality.
Side by side, they sat and looked at one another, not certain what to say. Brandy finally broke the silence. “It’s wild seeing you again after so much time. Part of me feels like it’s been forever, while the other feels like it was only yesterday. I’ve missed you.”
He sputtered. “Interesting choice of words, since you tore me up pretty good and left me with a broken heart last time that I saw you.”
She dropped her head and looked down at her feet. “I needed to look out for myself. You had other priorities. You were all football, all the time. I was more of an afterthought.”
“I loved you. You shattered my world. Remember, you’re the one who left me.” He stopped, drew a deep breath, wondering where that all came from. “Look, I’m sorry. I’m more emotional than usual with this Will stuff going on. None of that matters. It was ages ago.”
“Right. Are you sure you don’t want me to leave?”
“No, don’t leave. I want you to stay. Again, I’m sorry. I’m not myself lately. Hey, do you remember when we were kids and all we wanted was to be happy? No stress, no pressure, and we only thought about the moment or maybe looked forward to a summer vacation at most. Where did those days go?”
She reached out and placed her hand over his. “What do you dream of these days?”
“A championship. It sounds hollow to those not involved, but it’s good for the team. It keeps us cohesive, pushing to get better, and everybody’s morale soars.”
“Okay, but besides professionally? What about your future? You won’t be playing ball forever. What about when you retire? A family? Kids? Another career? What do you dream of?”
“Good question. My head is wrapped up in the game. Retirement? I guess it gets closer each year. Maybe I’ll coach or something. I’d like to stay involved in football in some way, though I don’t see myself broadcasting games. I’m pretty sure I won’t go the route of a car dealership like some guys do. Real estate? Accounting? Not likely. Honestly, it’s hard to think about my future when I know that my brother won’t have one. The guilt runs deep some days. Hard to get past that kind of stuff.”
“Guilt? You didn’t cause your brother’s situation. Don’t punish yourself,” she soothed.
“He’s too young. He had so much potential. Now...well, now we’re at the end.”
“It’s sad. That’s one of the things about nursing. You face mortality daily. It changes how you respond to things. There are professional reactions in front of grieving family members, keeping your professionalism intact, and then when you get home you finally have time to sort through your feelings. Sometimes I wonder how I turn it on and off so easily. Does that make me cold?”
“I don’t think so. You’re doing your job. But, isn’t it hard to be around death all the time? I’m not sure I could do it.”
“It’s part of the work. Healing somebody makes it worth it. Unfortunately, we can’t save everybody even when we want to. There are wonderful moments, too. Speaking of my job, I’m glad I ran into you at the chapel.”
“It was a surprise to say the least.”
“I couldn’t help thinking of the past. We have a lot of good memories. It seems so long ago.” She paused then added, “I was young and immature. It’s amazing how fast time goes by.”
“We both were, but to tell you the truth, I would have done it all over again. You were the best part of my high school years,” he sheepishly admitted.
She smiled. “That’s sweet. You weren’t too bad yourself. In fact, you still aren’t so bad. If I had a notion…”
He flashed her a grin. “Don’t tempt me, girl. I need a healthy distraction about now.”
“Is that what I’d be? A distraction? An object? Yeah, no thanks. I guess you lost your charm. All that testosterone pulsing through you made your smooth edges rougher—huh?”
“I didn’t mean it that way,” he corrected. “I’m just saying, it’s been nice revisiting the past.”
“Okay, I admit it. I may have reminisced a bit, too. You do look amazing. You really filled out and came into yourself. When I knew you...Well, you’re quite the man these days.” Her cheeks flushed, leaving them rosy red.
“You look incredible. If I’d run into you during different circumstances…” he started.
Silence.
Their eyes locked.
He forced himself to break free from their smoldering gaze. The mutual attraction was obvious, but now wasn’t the time or place. Besides, past hurts were just beneath the surface.
Jett hadn’t been in a serious relationship in ages. He tried once in college, but he was better off without commitments and focusing on his career. If he wanted to go pro, he knew what his priorities needed to be.
He stood so he could check the ribs on the grill. She stood, ready to visit the powder room while he wrapped things up at the grill.
The timing was kismet. She stumbled and almost knocked into him. He put his arms up to catch her.
Jett froze, unable to walk away. He raised his hand to her cheek and stroked it tenderly. Lost in her eyes, time stood still. He swallowed hard. Every second felt like an hour. He ached
to kiss her, which left him confused.
Brandy looked into Jett’s eyes. She matched his movements. The sizzle between them was almost audible.
Jett drew in a deep breath.
Brandy closed her eyes and gently parted her lips, certain of what was next. Instead, Jett stepped back.
“I’m sorry,” was all he said. “I can’t.”
Brandy opened her eyes and blinked. He’d moved a step back and shook his head. “What just happened?”
“Now isn’t the time.” He turned and walked to the grill.
Chapter 7
“It would be nice to be appreciated,” she said. They’d moved from the arm chairs to a table. “Thanks for dinner. These ribs are amazing.”
“What do you think of the sauce? Too tangy? Just right? I feel like I’m off by a single ingredient, but I can’t place it yet. It’s somewhat of an obsession,” he admitted, then pointed to the grill. “The guys call me Double Decker ever since I got this baby.”
She laughed. “I think the sauce is fabulous, and I’m pretty sure that’s the largest grill I’ve ever seen.”
“Everything is bigger in Texas,” he teased.
“Even egos?”
“You’re a riot,” he deadpanned.
“Anyway, I guess I’m so desperate for my mother to come out and say something, anything that lets me know I’m needed, loved, anything. I feel like a home health care worker at times, more of a helper than her daughter. How can’t she see things? She’s a typical narcissist mixed with depression, then add in a chronic condition and it makes for a fun ride.”
“That’s got to be rough,” he said. “Have you told her how you feel? She can’t read your mind.”
“I guess. Maybe. I don’t know. I’ve hinted at it. Maybe I’m being too subtle. It’s hard to come right out and say something. I’m not sure why. I’m a fool, I make way too many choices based on my heart. You’d think I’d learn. In her world, she can only see herself. We’re all simply day players in her one-person Broadway show. So even if I do say something, it’s like she’ll be looking in a mirror, and never in my direction.”
“She loves you,” he reminded. “She probably takes great comfort having you back in Texas.”
“Yeah. I guess. Going away was everything I thought I needed, but being independent had downfalls, too. It’s probably good I got that out of my system now that I’m back home. It’s just, my mother is trying me in so many ways.” Brandy shrugged. “Sometimes it’s not enough, no matter what I do. Is that selfish on my part? I’m afraid I’ll end up like her. I guess I want to know it’s not just about what I can do for her...There are days that I feel like an employee rather than her kid. You know?”
He sympathized. “I’m sorry she makes you feel that way. It must be frustrating.”
“And what about you?”
He furrowed a brow, not sure what she was asking. “What about me?”
“What are you afraid of these days?”
Jett pushed his hand through his hair, then rubbed the back of his neck, working out the tension. “Being traded to another team because I’m not good enough.”
“Again, with the football stuff. Why don’t you ever think of your personal life?”
He shrugged. “I am who I am. It’s always been football with me.”
“True, but there’s so much more. Why are you always worried somebody might see what’s beneath that meaty, sexy exterior?”
“Did you call me meaty?” He laughed. “Is that a compliment? Seriously, meaty?”
She chuckled. “It came out wrong, but you know what I mean—you’re all muscle. Honestly though, you use your uniform as a buffer, afraid to let the world see who you truly are.”
He looked away. “There’s nothing of interest beneath it. I’m all machine these days. I don’t have room for feelings. Everything is tied up with my brother's situation. I’ve got to stay strong.”
“Why is it always on you to be the strong one?” she challenged.
He didn’t answer.
“Maybe it’s something you should think about. You’re human, too. You need to take care of yourself. You can’t do everything all the time. You’re allowed to take time for yourself and your personal struggles.”
“I guess.” He shrugged.
Brandy stood. “I should get going. Thanks again for dinner. I didn’t mean to intrude.”
“It ended up being a good thing. It’s been nice to see you and have the chance to catch up a bit.” When she stood to leave, it took everything he had inside not to pull her into his arms. A simple embrace would have become so much more. Once he hugged her, he wouldn’t want to let go. He’d smell her fresh, sweet skin, maybe a splash of fragrance from her shampoo, or a spritz of perfume…Then his lips would be on hers.
With too many unresolved thoughts—it wouldn’t do either of them any favors. He certainly didn’t need that kind of complication right now. It was great to see her, but with only a few more days off…No, it was best that he didn’t slip up.
Either way, nothing stopped him from fantasizing what it would be like to hold her in his arms and feel her lips like he once had before. She’d meant the world to him. And yet, so much time had passed. Funny how they’d come full circle. He hadn’t had a meaningful relationship since his time spent with Brandy. Of course, they were kids, but she was the one that left an imprint on his heart.
After she headed out, he cleaned up the dishes, then turned in for the night.
Sleep didn’t come easy. He tossed and turned.
Brandy was on his mind. He forgot how much he’d missed her when they split up. Talking to her dredged up old feelings. One of the pleasures of being around her was that he was able to be himself. He didn’t have to pretend to be something he wasn’t. Besides, if he did, she’d call him out on it.
She was right. It’s like he wore a mask at times, putting on a show. He was Jett Warren, big, strong warrior and famous football player. To Brandy, he’d been Jeff. The kid who had a crush on a girl with coffee colored hair. He laughed at how the times had changed. Nobody called him Jeff anymore, even if it was his given name. Once he got the moniker Jett, it stuck like glue.
His mind circled back to the moment they almost kissed. She looked amazing. Her curves had filled in with more padding and did her body good. She’d always been slender, but this newer shape with full hips and feminine curves revved his engine. He liked an hourglass with a little extra sand in it. Some would call them child-bearing hips. He didn’t care what you called them, he liked her fuller, softer shape.
And her hair. He’d never seen her as a blonde before. She looked great either way, but the way it fell past her shoulders with soft natural waves made his heart beat faster. He ached to run his fingers through her silky locks. This new look suited her well. It highlighted her eyes and played off the rosy warmth of her cheeks.
His thoughts were centered on her more than he’d expected. He needed to be careful, or he’d fall for the girl all over again, and he had no time or interest in a relationship right now.
Brandy never figured she’d be daydreaming about Jett again. Funny, he was born Jeffrey Warren, but the name Jett had been with him since school. He was the fastest kid on the team and shot down the middle of the field in sprints during practice, but defense was his love.
They wanted him on offense, but he pushed to play midfield defense. Once they saw him in action, they stopped questioning his ability. He was a rising star from early on. In Texas, football was in their blood, but it wasn’t until high school that he really made strides.
How silly. All these years later she was back to fawning over her high school sweetheart. She imaged resting her head on his chest as he wrapped his strong arms around her. She hadn’t been held in such a long time. The loneliness snuck up on her, rubbing salt in the wound.
Of course, the amount of baggage on his shoulders was overwhelming. How could she even think about him romantically? He was on the verge of losing his brother
, and to be honest, while he was nice to look at, they had history and it wasn’t all perfect.
She’d glossed over their relationship and focused on the highlights, but there were low points too. They were kids. They were learning how to love one another, learning how to be a couple, and there was pressure to do things that she wasn’t ready to do.
Brandy closed her eyes remembering…One night, things went too far. She stopped them before they’d pushed their boundaries, but it set a precedent she didn’t want to cross. To a teenage boy it was hard to understand. They’d said some hurtful things to each other that night.
Chapter 8
Jett decided to try a new approach with his mother. She was holding on for dear life, but she’d stopped living. Those around her almost didn’t exist. All her energy and time was heavily focused on Will.
Everybody’s quality of life had diminished since Will’s accident. They’d held on as long as they did, but would it last forever? How many more years would she get to enjoy with their father, or with Jett? There were things to do, lives to live, and he needed her to see that. She was wasting away, hoping for a life that would never return—Will’s.
“I saw Brandy again.” He started with a gentle topic. At some point he’d get around to saying what he needed to say. How could he help his mother say goodbye? She was stuck, like a vehicle in mud, spinning its wheels. She couldn’t go forward or back. She stayed exactly where she was, unmoving.
“Really?” His mother looked up at him.
“She dropped by. We had dinner together.”
“A date? Isn’t that inappropriate with everything going on? Show a little respect.”
“Mom, life offers no guarantees. If I can spend a few minutes being happy, I’m going to do it. You need to do the same. Besides, it was an unexpected visit. I didn’t know she was coming by.”
She shot her hand up to stop him in his tracks. “Not this again.”