by Kim Koby
He walked over to where she was seated and offered his hand. “Come here.”
She silently stood and let her son hug her.
“Mom, let him go with God.”
She shuddered as tears fell. “I don’t want to let go. I’ll never see his face again. At least I have him here. I can see him, look at my boy, and it feels like he’s still with me.”
“This isn’t the way he’d want to live. Let him go home. Let him find grace and peace. You’re the one who always taught me that when it came to our end here, there was glory and all- encompassing love on the other side. Don’t you want that for Will?”
“I’m afraid to let go. What if he thinks I’m letting him down?” Her lip trembled as pools of tears continued to fall.
“What if he thinks you’re holding him back?”
He held her until she finished crying. “I’ll think about it.”
“This is Eva’s final call. Legally, you know that. She’s held out this long, but it’s time, Mom. Give her the closure she that needs—that we all need.”
The following day, Jett stood at his brother’s bedside as the machines were removed. His family circled the bed, saying a prayer and hoping for the best. The doctors told them what to expect, and true to their word it was a swift and pain-free exit. They’d kept him as comfortable as possible as he faded away.
Jett squeezed Eva’s hand. His mother was wrapped in his father’s arms. And in those last few moments, they said their final goodbyes.
Chapter 9
Brandy dropped by to check in on Jett. He was due back at work shortly. With the funeral, his mind had been heavy and full. The momentary relief was in knowing Will’s suffering was over. However, the reality was a cold slap in the face. He was truly gone.
Their history served to help his healing. It was easier to be vulnerable with Brandy than it was with anybody else. But truth be told, even that was difficult. He hated to show weakness.
They’d reconnected. There was no denying there was still a bond between them. Even in such a short period of time, it was like they’d always been there for each other.
She’d been a pillar of strength for him, something he didn’t realize he needed until it was too late. He’d started to crumble, but there she was both picking him up and propping him on her shoulders. It was the toughest week of his life, and Brandy stood by his side.
Saying goodbye was the hardest thing he’d ever done. He thought he was ready—knew it was time. When push came to shove, he collapsed into his grief.
Brandy feared being alone. Was life better half-lived with somebody rather than fully lived alone? Having a partner was something she craved, yet there were issues she’d need to tackle first. She was clingy. It’s not like she was proud of it, but she was aware that her constant need for affection pushed people away.
Then there were matters of trust. It was near impossible to believe a man would remain faithful after watching her father cheat on her mother for so many years. Then when he left them, it only deepened the wound. He started another family and never looked back. If her own flesh and blood could hurt her so badly, other men wouldn’t think twice about hurting her.
When it came to Jett, dealing with the pain of it all left her raw. She knew she had to walk away, but it wasn’t easy. He was her entire life up until that point.
These days, it was easier to stop a relationship before something bloomed. Besides, it only reaffirmed what she knew deep inside—she wasn’t good enough. They always left. She had too many faults. There was a glaring light shining on it, even when she tried to look away.
With Jett, things seemed different. It wasn’t work. Everything fell into place naturally. Fate must have brought them back together for a reason. He needed her, and she needed him. They’d connected.
Maybe fate stepped in for a reason?
Brandy leaned into Jett and placed her head against his arm. Being beside him was all she wanted even in the worst of circumstances. She hesitated to ask, but the thought sat on the edge of her mind. She was itching to move things forward. “With work, will you have time for me?”
He sighed, then started to answer. His voice was soft, almost apologetic. “Brandy, I’m not ready for a serious relationship. You realize that, right? And the way you left me high and dry…no offense, but what makes you think I can just come back together like that? Sure, time has passed, but we have history.”
“A lot of good history, too,” she reminded.
“True. Listen, I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. It’s been amazing spending time with you this week and traveling down memory lane. I can’t fathom how I would have gotten through it without you. But with everything that’s happened, I can’t do this right now. I’m still mourning. I also need to figure out how to get my winning stride back into the game. It’s the only thing I can think about right now. Maybe we can talk after the season ends.”
She sulked.
He continued. “We can decide if we want to give this another spin later. Before that, I can’t even think about it. Honestly, I need to stay focused. That alone seems impossible with having to say goodbye to Will. My head’s not in a great place and that’s not fair to you or me—diving into a relationship right now.”
Brandy swallowed hard. The pain was bigger than she’d expected. He hadn’t exactly led her on or promised anything, but the more time she was around him, the more she wanted to be.
Her heart thumped with panic. She wasn’t ready to let go. Not so soon. She was ready for more, for a relationship. Couldn’t he see that she had enough strength and energy for them both? Her words stuck in her throat. It was as if she was parched, desperate for a glass of water.
Brandy forced herself to respond. “I understand. I’d hoped maybe we could…Well, I don’t know. Maybe hoping for something between us was wrong? It feels natural, like it should work. We’re good for each other. Jett, finding you again reawakened feelings in me I’d forgotten. How do I shut those down?”
He reached for her hand. “Not wrong. It’s simply bad timing. You can see that, can’t you? I just lost my brother. Brandy, you’re great, but I need to think about me right now.”
“That’s not really fair, is it?” She didn’t mean to press. “I mean, I’ve given you all my spare time and heart these last few days. Isn’t it obvious how much I care?”
“Fair? That’s funny. You do remember how you left me, right? How you tore me to shreds, talking about how I’d been selfish, and that you were better off without me…”
“We were kids. I needed to find myself. I’d been living in your shadow for too long.”
“Fine. Right. It’s not fair to you. But this, this isn’t a relationship. It’s a friendship. How can you expect to build something out of a week’s time? I’m emotional, you’re emotional, and what we’re feeling may not be real. With everything intensified, I don’t know what’s up or down.”
“Why does it matter? My feelings are real. I don’t need to examine them under a microscope. You’ve always been special to me. It’s not like we’re strangers, Jett. We have history—familiarity,” she said, almost pleading. She hated the desperation in her voice.
“I can’t deal with this right now. I need to think things through. Please don’t smother me. I never promised anything. I’m happy you’re here, but it doesn’t mean more than friendship right now. Maybe when push comes to shove, I’ll realize you’re the one for me. You’re helping me through an intense situation, and you’re on my mind a lot. But I’m nowhere ready to pursue something. If we move too fast, there’d only be resentment and pain in the end.”
Chapter 10
Brandy stepped closer. “Jett, let me love you.”
He closed his eyes and exhaled deeply. How many ways would he need to say it? “I need to focus on the game. You deserve all my attention, and I’ll be somewhere else in my head. That’s not fair to you. I admit it, I am attracted to you, but I can’t do this. Not right now.”
Sh
e pressed her hand to his chest. “You let me worry about what’s fair.”
“Brandy…” A spark flickered between them. He swallowed hard, aching for a taste of her sweet lips. Why? Why was he torn? The attraction was undeniable. There was nobody else that held his attention. It was simply bad timing. And still, there she stood, inches away, and all he wanted was to pull her into his arms and kiss her sweet, sweet lips.
She stared into his eyes. “Jett?”
He lowered his head and tilted her chin up with his hand. His heart thumped in his throat. He swallowed hard, forcing it to slow down. It didn’t help. There was no stopping his desire. He ached to release the tension building in his chest. A simple kiss. A small tender kiss. It didn’t need to be more than that. If he could just…
Brandy closed her eyes. Her lips parted slightly, begging for his kiss.
The air was charged with electricity. He could deny it all he wanted, but he’d be lying to himself.
If he kissed her, there’d be no going back.
The draw was too strong. A need ached deep inside. The pull was magnetic. He inched closer, his mouth right above hers. His hot breath was the only thing between them.
He hesitated for another moment, then gave in.
Jett brushed his lips to hers. She sighed into his mouth as they reconnected one more time. The fact that she wanted him so badly fed his ego. Hearing her small whimper fueled the fire. She wrapped her arms around his waist and drew in close, pressing her body to his.
He raked his hands up through her hair, grasping and gently twisting it around his fingers. It was silky soft. Passion welled up inside. The cat was out of the bag. It would be near impossible to put it back. With that one kiss, he knew he’d need more. He’d missed tasting her rosebud lips.
He pressed tighter to Brandy, satiating his hunger.
For the first time in what felt like forever, Jett saw the future. It was impossible to picture prior to that moment. He’d only seen his career, but in the second that their lips came together, something clicked. He saw it so clearly. He did want her. He wanted her close by. He wanted to spend more time with her. He wanted to laugh and share secrets with her. He wanted her to be his, and his alone. He didn’t want to share—and wouldn’t take the chance of her finding love with somebody else.
The moment was crystal clear. They had a second chance at love, and he refused to throw that away like nothing more than yesterday’s bread. He’d cherish the moment, cherish Brandy, and cherish another chance at happiness.
Everything that had plagued him only minutes before washed away like suds down a shower drain.
Brandy’s emotions popped and sparked. Being in Jett’s arms was pure heaven. She fit against him like a glove. The way he held her, kissed her, and pulled her close…
She bathed in the moment. It was the happiest she’d been in ages. She never wanted him to stop kissing her. She could live forever in his embrace, and her heart would be full. It would be enough, just to have him near.
She saw the future. Their future. Together, they’d find their way. Together, they could do anything. This wasn’t a guessing game. She’d known him for years and shared her deepest secrets with him as she matured. Now, as adults, they both offered so much more.
Jolts of electricity tingled her toes. She needed him. She needed to be a part of something, one half of a whole.
He pulled back the slightest bit, breaking their kiss.
Brandy smiled up at him dreamily. “That was amazing.”
He flashed a playful grin. “It was. We should do that again.”
“Absolutely. We wouldn’t want it to be a fluke. We should double check and see if the spark is still there,” she teased.
In her wildest dreams, she never thought she’d be back in Jett’s arms.
From the moment she saw him at the chapel, she flirted with the idea of being with him again. The attraction was strong. God had given her a second chance at love. A chance at happiness, and she’d never again have to be alone.
Chapter 11
Brandy could barely contain her excitement. Ever since they’d shared a kiss, her feet barely touched the ground. The rest of the evening was spectacular. Once home, she couldn’t dial her friend fast enough.
“Hey, can you hold on a second,” Sydney whispered into the phone.
“Sure.” Brandy waited but was itching to share the news.
“Sorry, I’m back. Hey girl. I haven’t talked to you all week. What have you been up to?”
“You’ll never believe who I ran into. Seriously, never in a million years. And why was I on hold?”
“Pizza delivery,” she said.
“Jett. I ran into Jett at the hospital. I about died when I walked into the chapel and saw him there.”
“Jett Warren? The football guy you always used to talk about?”
“Yes,” she squealed. Brandy’s heart was ready to jump out of her chest. Just thinking about him flooded her with joy.
“What happened?” Sydney asked. “What was he doing in the hospital chapel?”
“What didn’t happen? Okay, let me back up. First off, the last time I saw him was ages ago. Boy, has he beefed up even more. He’s such a stud. Maturity looks good on him. Holy cow! He filled out all over—pure muscle. I shouldn’t fawn like this, but wow. He looks incredible.”
“He is a pro-football player. I’d think it’s his job to take care of himself.”
“Yeah, but it’s not just that. Anyway, I was on a break at work, and wandered down to the chapel. I was looking for a quiet space. We’d lost a patient, and I wanted to clear my head.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, hon.”
“Syd, it was so sad. Anyway, so I go into the chapel, and who do I find there? Jett. He was there because of his brother. His brother, Will, had been in a bad accident a few months back. Turns out he’d been on life support and they were struggling with making the final decision to turn off life support. There was a push and pull between Will’s wife and the parents. They ended up turning off the machines, and he did pass quickly. Okay, so that part was depressing, but it led to something special. During the week as he processed everything, I spent time with him. One night, we’re having dinner and he almost kissed me. I was aching for that kiss, but he stopped himself. Then, tonight, it finally happened. It was amazing. His kiss was tender and sweet, but the fire between us ignited like crazy. It was…wow. Seriously. It was so incredible.”
Sydney sighed. “I hate to be the one to say this, but do you think it’s a good idea that this happened after everything he’s gone through? I’m thinking transference, if I’m being completely honest. And you being a nurse, doesn’t it go against—”
“Don’t. Okay. Let me have this. It would be different if he was a patient. He was my high school sweetheart. It’s a coincidence how we ran into each other. I mean, I work at the hospital.”
“I get what you’re saying, and any other friend would cheer you on, but a best friend tells it like it is. Wouldn’t you tell me if you thought something wasn’t healthy in my life? Oh yeah, you did. Remember? I finally listened and broke up with the guy. I’m better off for it, because you could see something I couldn’t,” she reminded.
Brandy groaned. Okay, fine. She got it. Truly, she did, but this was so exciting. “Let me enjoy this for now, okay? I was so excited to call you.”
“Okay. Yeah! You’re dating a football player.” She couldn’t hide her lack of enthusiasm.
“Come on. Let me have this. If it was anybody else, I’d totally get what you’re saying.”
Sydney sighed. “I’m sorry. I can hear how happy you are. I didn’t mean to rain on your parade, but you said he lost his brother this week. I’m worried you’re going to get your heart broken when he comes out of this funk.”
“Will was on life support for months. For Jett, it was a chance to finally have closure. Anyway, I was grateful that I could be there for him, and if we reconnected, it only sweetens things.” She pondered for a m
oment, then continued. “I’ve always felt like he was the one that got away. Sure, we were young, but I loved him so much. Now we have another chance. I really need you to be happy for me. Please.”
“The one that got away? Weren’t you the one who broke up with him?” Sydney was her best friend, and the person that Brandy connected with during nursing school. Even though they were now in different states, they still talked constantly via email, text, or Skype.
“Yeah, but nobody has compared.”
While Brandy ended up back in Texas, Sydney was in Virginia, close to the shoreline.
“How’s your mom doing?” Sydney asked.
“Same old, same old. Dramatic as always. Only thinks about herself, but otherwise fine. She’s had a couple of flareups. You know me…I panic, worry I’ll lose her, then when she’s back to normal she drives me beyond crazy. What’s happening on your side of the world?”
“Nothing as interesting as yours, though I have been hanging out with Ace more. Tell me more about Jett. I’m sorry I didn’t jump up and down when you first told me. I guess I’m being overprotective.”
“You? Hard to believe,” Brandy teased. “I do appreciate your honesty, but for now I want to lather and bathe in this incredible feeling!”
Sydney giggled. “I am who I am. Okay, give me the details.”
“Right. I was standing next to him, and something came over me. I’m not sure where I found the courage, but I broke down and said, ‘Let me love you,’ and to let go and stop fighting the attraction. He was questioning everything. Well, as soon as the words come out of my mouth, I’m like, what did I just do? It’s almost like he wasn’t sure how to respond. We stood there looking each other. That’s when something shifted. I’m not sure what changed.”
“You sound so giddy,” Sydney said.
Brandy continued. “I am. Anyway, it’s like he finally let go. I closed my eyes, and he leans in and kisses me. I’m melting. Like, totally melting into him. I love him, Sydney. It was so easy to fall back in love with him. It just happened. I didn’t have to force anything. Maybe it never left me. Is it love? I mean, I think it is. Okay, here’s the hard part. I worry that I’m a distraction to fill his time, so he can avoid his true feelings and deal with the loss of his brother. I know, I know. I’m aware of that, but it just feels right. I guess the real test will be after enough time passes.”