The Cowboy's Honor

by Lacy Williams

  He’d done it. He’d confessed his sins to his family.

  But he didn’t feel absolved.

  Jonas had kept his reaction carefully hidden, his face impassive. Penny’s eyes were filled with tears. She’d started crying in earnest when he’d mentioned prison.

  Maxwell hadn’t been able to hide his surprise. Oscar’s jaw was still clenched.

  His brothers had the right to be angry. He’d kept this from all of them. Matty had been hurt because of him.

  He felt like he was going to throw up.

  His brothers were huddling up over to one side of the picnic tables, arguing over tactics. He picked up snatches.

  We should go after this guy!

  We need to have a watch overnight.

  Someone’s gotta alert the sheriff.

  Nobody’s going anywhere alone.

  And Emma.

  Emma sat quietly next to Fran, just as she had throughout his explanation. Her face was pale in the falling dusk.

  No matter that he’d tried to keep his gaze away from her, he hadn't been able to stop glancing at her as he spoke.

  Did she hate him now?

  He didn't care if his brothers would tease him later. He had something he needed to say.

  He strode to where she sat next to her sister. "Emma, can I talk to you?"

  Fran looked at him speculatively. He couldn't quite meet her gaze.

  Fran stopped Emma from standing with a hand to her arm. "I'm sure you can say whatever you want to say to Emma in front of both of us."

  "I really can't."

  Emma pressed her sister’s hand. "It's all right."

  She stood and reached for the walking stick he had seen her use often. He was surprised when she reached out the other hand to him. It seemed natural for him to tuck her in close to his side.

  But right now, he didn't know which way was up. His entire life felt turned inside out. He’d paid his debt. He was supposed to be free from this mess.

  He didn't dare take her far. Not with all of his brothers watching. There was a tall maple a dozen yards from the house, and he drew her with him to stand beneath it. He took her left hand in his left and unwrapped it from his arm, then placed her palm against the tree to orient her. He stepped away.

  "Why didn't you tell me, in Denver?" she asked quietly. "Daniel knew, didn't he?"

  Her face was turned toward him, but her eyes seemed focused somewhere over his shoulder. Everything he wanted to say was so jumbled up inside of him. He’d wanted to protect her from his past. But really, he’d wanted to protect himself. Wanted her to believe he was still the upstanding guy she’d left behind.

  Shame heated his neck.

  She laughed a wobbly laugh and dashed a tear from her cheek. "I'm being unfair, aren't I? After I kept my blindness from you."

  "It's not the same." His voice emerged rough, his emotions getting the better of him.

  Over Emma’s shoulder, he saw Fran get up from the table and approach Edgar, drawing him away from Oscar and Maxwell and Davy. They looked toward where Seb and Emma spoke.

  He was short on time.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “For everything. I can never make amends to all the people I’ve hurt, the people I stole from in Tolliver’s name. I don't expect any kind of forgiveness. I don't deserve it. I never wanted you to find out because I'd hoped that after I got out, I could work hard and make myself worthy.”

  He’d thought he would have more time.

  Emma’s head turned to the side. Seb looked past her to see Edgar approaching. She must’ve heard his steps in the grass.

  Seb lowered his voice. "I never stopped caring about you."

  Edgar cleared his throat. "This isn't the time, Seb. We need you to answer some questions about Tolliver."

  He saw the truth in Edgar's face. Now wasn't the time to declare himself to Emma. And there wasn't going to be a time. His brother looked concerned, almost angry.

  That cinch around Seb’s chest wrapped tighter. He had betrayed his family’s trust. None of them would ever look at him the same again.

  And the worst part was, he deserved it.

  Emma’s face was still drawn. He couldn't decipher her expression.

  Edgar cleared his throat. "Emma, Fran needs your help to settle the little ones. Let’s go.”

  He watched her walk away on Edgar’s arm, knowing that nothing was ever going to be the same again.

  * * *

  "What was that?" Fran asked. Her tone was impatient as Emma approached.

  There were little groups of conversation going on all around, and it was hard for Emma to focus.

  She was still reeling from what Seb had told her. He cared about her. He’d been coming to find her.

  She didn't have a chance to answer her sister as Velma rushed up with Eloise in her arms. "Here's mama."

  "Mama!" The child’s high, sweet voice rang out.

  "Thank you, Velma." Fabric shifted, more movement. “Thanks for keeping them.”

  Velma’s footsteps darted off.

  "What is going on?" Fran asked. The baby was fussing, Eloise’s voice calling mama from the ground, but Fran ignored the children. "What did Seb want?”

  Emma heard the judgment in her sister’s voice. Fran wouldn't easily forgive that Seb had put Emma in danger.

  Maybe it was time to come clean. She sighed, hoped nobody but her sister would hear when she lowered her voice and said, "I've been in love with Seb for years. Since I was sixteen.” It had happened quietly, creeping up on her a little at a time as she’d settled into life on the ranch. The first time she’d realized it was happening had been a few days after her sixteenth birthday. She had walked outside of the ranch house and seen him horsing around with his younger sister Breanna. And she’d been enchanted.

  Fran made a noise of disbelief.

  “He asked to come courting when I turned eighteen. Everything was just beginning… And then I lost my sight." She swallowed hard. "I shouldn't have left."

  Fran’s voice was icy when she responded. "You leaving has nothing to do with the mess he's gotten himself into."

  Maybe not. But it’d been the catalyst for everything that had happened since.

  "I think it's time we went back to the cabin. Edgar will let us know when the men are ready to take action."

  Emma shook her head. "I'm staying to help Penny."

  "No." Fran took Emma's wrist.

  Emma gently disengaged herself. "When I arrived on your doorstep, I told you that I aim to live my life with more freedom than what I experienced living with Daniel."

  "It's not about that. I know you're perfectly capable."

  She made an expression that she hoped conveyed her skepticism.

  "You loved the Seb that you knew five years ago. That Seb would never have joined ranks with a criminal." One of the nearby conversations—Cecilia and Sara, she thought—went hushed at Fran's harsh words.

  Had Seb expected this kind of judgment from his family? Was that why he’d refused to ask for help back in Denver?

  She could hear low voices from where the men were congregated several yards away. Within their circle, was there tension like this? Did any of Seb’s brothers wear distress or disgust in their expressions? She wanted to know so badly and cursed the fact that she couldn't see.

  "Seb has changed. But I have, too. I'm going to help Penny."

  Emma stepped away wondering what expression her sister wore. She used her cane and followed the sound of Penny’s voice as the other woman moved into the farmhouse, the door closing and cutting off what she was saying.

  Emma followed at her own pace. Her prickly scalp told her that at least one person was watching her. Maybe Fran. Maybe everyone.

  It didn't matter what Seb’s family thought right now. He needed every ally. And she was going to stand beside him the way she hadn't back in Colorado.

  She found the door and opened it.

  Penny was in the kitchen, speaking in low voices with Ida. When Emma
entered, their conversation stopped.

  A blush rose in Emma’s cheeks, but she held her own. “I'd like to help. What do you need?”

  16

  Seb rode into town with his father to escort Maxwell and Hattie back to their clinic. The pair felt sure that they had enough friends in town to look out for them that they wouldn’t be in too much danger.

  Seb wished he could be as sure, but anxiety ate up his belly from the inside out.

  Maxwell helped Hattie out of their buggy, and she waited on the boardwalk while Maxwell turned to Seb still in the saddle.

  “Can you come down for a minute? I need to say something to you.”

  Jonas didn’t bat an eye. “I’ll walk through the clinic with Hattie and make sure everything looks secure.”

  The two disappeared inside. Seb dismounted and tied his horse to the hitching post.

  The streets were quiet this time of afternoon, only a couple of wagons in front of the mercantile and one horse in front of the bank.

  Seb looked curiously at his older brother. Maxwell was one of the kindest, most patient men Seb knew. He was agitated now. His feet shifted nervously. Was he going to reprimand Seb for bringing this trouble to their door?

  Maxwell took off his hat and sighed. “I didn’t realize that... well, I didn’t think anything of it when Emma asked me to keep her blindness a secret.”

  Oh.

  It wasn’t about Tolliver at all. It was about Emma.

  Seb had known that his brothers were too perceptive. He just hadn’t expected Maxwell to be the first to say something about it.

  “I didn’t know—”

  “No one did.” Seb swept his hat off his head and beat it against his thigh, sending up a puff of dust. “I wanted some time to woo her without all my stinkin’ brothers making jokes at our expense.”

  “Still—”

  “She was scared. Didn’t know how things were going to turn out.” Like he was now. He couldn’t see a way out of this that turned out for the good.

  “Maybe not.” Maxwell held his eye contact. “But maybe if I’d known that it mattered—that she mattered—I could’ve talked you out of leaving town.”

  Seb shook his head. “No one could’ve out-stubborned me. I was determined to go.”

  But the fact that Maxwell cared now meant a lot.

  “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry,” Seb said. “About all this…”

  Maxwell embraced him, which gave Seb a few seconds to blink the hot wetness from his eyes.

  Jonas walked out of the clinic. “Everything’s been locked up tight.”

  Maxwell let him go and embraced his father, too, and then left Seb and Jonas to do what they’d come to town to do.

  They visited the sheriff’s office first.

  Seb didn't recognize the man behind the desk with the tin star pinned to his chest. But Matty had said they could trust sheriff Everly, that he was an honorable man who couldn't be bought by Tolliver.

  They stood inside the sparsely furnished office, and Jonas left it to Seb to explain. He couldn’t help but be aware of the three empty cells just beyond a doorway behind the sheriff’s desk. The sight of the iron bars soured his stomach as memories fought to get free.

  He forced himself to focus.

  The sheriff had already heard about Matty’s injuries. But this was the first he’d heard of a message being sent to the White family.

  Seb told him about the threats Tolliver had made in the hotel. And about everything that had happened back in Colorado. He even had a wanted poster that the US Marshals had made up, which he handed over.

  The sheriff listened intently and then sat with his hands folded on his desk. "Those are some very grave accusations you're making, son."

  Seb couldn’t read him. “If you contact the US Marshals’ office in Denver, they'll tell you about their case against Tolliver."

  “You sure the person who assaulted you at the hotel is the same guy?" He glanced down at the poster.

  Seb would never forget the evil in Tolliver's eyes. "I'm certain."

  The sheriff shook his head. “With Matty out of commission, I’m short one deputy. I'll have my hands full keeping order in town as it is. I doubt I can spare anyone to watch over your place."

  Jonas nodded. "We weren't expecting that."

  "And if this Tolliver is his nasty as you claim he is, I'll need to make sure no one in my town gets swept up in this."

  Seb’s heart sank. He hadn’t expected the sheriff to roll out the welcome wagon for him, not with his history. But he had hoped Everly would give them more help than this. His family was only six men strong. How could they protect all the women and children—and themselves—for more than a few days?

  They shook the sheriff’s hand and took their leave.

  At the hotel, the desk clerk showed them the guest register. There was no one named Tolliver or Richards listed. The man behind the counter didn’t know anyone matching the description Seb gave.

  That was a dead end.

  “Let's go talk to Mabel over at the general store,” Jonas suggested as they stepped out onto the boardwalk. "She knows everybody." And was the biggest gossip in town. "Maybe she'll know where Tolliver is staying."

  Mabel was finishing up cutting fabric from a bolt and conversing quietly with a customer when they entered. She looked up, but the smile of greeting she wore faded when she registered who was standing inside her store. Her gaze flicked from Seb to Jonas and back again. Seb’s heart sank.

  It was only a matter of minutes before Mabel finished up with her customer. Jonas took off his hat and approached the counter. Seb followed.

  “How can I help you today?" Seb was pretty sure he wasn't imagining the cool tone in her voice.

  His throat was dry, and he was thankful when his pa spoke first.

  "You know Seb’s back in town."

  Mabel nodded.

  “He had a bit of trouble while he was away from home. and some of that trouble followed him here."

  Mabel turned an assessing gaze on Seb, one that burned like acid as she narrowed her eyes. "I heard a little about the trouble you've been in. Prison, wasn't it?"

  Seb reeled from the blow. The only people he’d told about where he’d been were his family and the sheriff. The only other person who could've breathed a word of it was Tolliver.

  Apparently, Tolliver had been spreading stories.

  He’d threaten to take everything that mattered to Seb. What better way to start than to taint Seb's reputation?

  Mabel wasn't done. "I want to know why I didn't hear about this from your family. Seems mighty suspicious for you all to be keeping this a secret.”

  "Nothing suspicious about it," Jonas said. "Seb only came back to us a few days ago." His voice was as calm and unruffled as ever. Meanwhile, Seb felt as if he had been tumbled head over end.

  “My family didn't know where I was,” Seb interjected. “Or that I’d been in prison.”

  This was exactly the thing he'd wanted to spare his family from. Folks in town looking at them, judging them, because of what Seb had done. He felt sick to his stomach.

  "Seb came home to make things right," Jones said. "He's my son and an important part of our family."

  Now, Seb’s inside swelled with emotion. That Jonas would still claim him after what he’d done, the trouble he was causing… He didn't deserve it. Inside, there was still a part of him—that abandoned little boy on the street, hungry and alone—who remembered that Jonas had rescued him. Jonas had provided love and connection and family. And now he was doing it all over again.

  Unlike Seb, Mabel didn't seem moved. She was frowning. "Did y'all need something from the store today?"

  "The man you know as Richards,” Seb said quickly, “the man who told you about me? He's a bad character. In Denver, he robbed and blackmailed and sometimes even murdered."

  Mabel’s lips twisted. “Right. And you’re so trustworthy.”

  How could he make her understand? "It's
true I got myself into a bad situation. I take responsibility for my actions. But once I realized what he was capable of, I did everything I could to help the law bring him in. He's dangerous.”

  Jonas spoke. “You've known Seb since he was a little tyke. He’s made some mistakes, but he's back home now. And you've known me for just as long. I trust my son when he says that this fellow is dangerous. His real name’s Tolliver."

  Mabel still looked unsure.

  "You can see his wanted poster at the sheriff’s office,” Seb said. “Do you happen to know where he’s staying?"

  She shook her head. Her expression had turned hard. “If this man is the criminal you say he is—”

  “He is. Ask the sheriff,” Seb interrupted.

  “You brought him here. It’s on your head if we’re all in danger.”

  Seb lost his breath. She was right. Of course she was right.

  “If y'all aren't going to buy anything, I've got some books to do in the back." It was a clear dismissal, and they took their leave.

  Whatever kernel of hope Seb had held onto that they would find help in town was rapidly dwindling.

  They didn’t quit, though. With every stop they made—to the bank, to the blacksmith shop, and even to the preacher’s home—it shrunk even more.

  Tolliver had used his time in Bear Creek to plant seeds of doubt about Seb’s character and that of the whole family. Even folks like the preacher, who talked about forgiveness on Sunday mornings, showed suspicion in their eyes and blamed Seb for Tolliver’s presence in Bear Creek. When Seb mentioned what Tolliver had done to Matty, folks got scared. They didn’t want to put themselves in danger.

  And no one seemed to know where to find him.

  As his hope shrank, his despair grew.

  He’d gotten his family into this mess. And he knew Tolliver. The man wasn’t going to stop until he’d had his revenge. Seb didn't know if Tolliver was a marksman. He didn't like the idea of any of them being outside for any length of time.

  And Tolliver had already destroyed part of their livelihood by running those cattle off the cliff. It was a cruel thing to do. A sign of just how completely void Tolliver was of humanity.

  How could Seb fight back without help? When he didn't know what Tolliver would do next?