Healing Mr Darcy’s Heart
Page 40
Darcy lays his glasses aside as he expounds more. “I have the responsibility to them to be a fair Master and to not allow any jeopardy to come to the estate which would hamper their abilities to earn a living for themselves. The staff and servants rely on me to keep Pemberley functioning and profitable for if it is not, then their livelihoods disappear. Many of the staff have been generational servants meaning their families have been connected and worked for the Darcy family for years. Grandparents, great-grandparents, and great-great-grandparents. I cannot let all these people down who rely on me to do my role as Master flawlessly.” Darcy stares off to the side, lost to his own thoughts for a moment.
He speaks again softly, “Sometimes I admit to thinking it would be pleasant to be a regular laborer whose only responsibility would be to his wife and children. It seems to be a simpler life. Then again, those who do labor toil hard and often the work is difficult, so they are not without worries either. Just a different kind of worry.” The smile comes back to Darcy’s face as he gazes lovingly at his wife. “Besides I doubt my nature would be one to take orders or yield to another’s desires. You know how obstinate and demanding I can be.” Lizzy chuckles at his little jest. What he answered makes sense. Instead of using the estate solely for his own pleasure, he ensures those in his employ can have their needs met. She sees how he would not have guilt over the lot in life he is assigned to by his birthright. “Do you feel guilty, my Lizzy? If so I would remind you that your caring and giving nature drew me to you because like me, you would see to those who rely on Pemberley and you would make it your goal to see to their wellbeing just as I do. You must not have guilt about the life you have married into nor the benefits which come with that life. Besides, many would say you have to pay dearly for the privilege of being married to such a proud disagreeable man.” Darcy lifts a brow as the smile becomes larger.
Soon Lizzy is laughing at him and his self-deprecating descriptions of himself. “I see your wisdom, Fitzwilliam. I am appreciative of all you have laid at my feet, but mostly I am in awe of your love and of having won the admiration of a man like you.” Lizzy cannot stay from him. She has to be by him, so she rains kisses on his face, and Darcy reciprocates in kind. With a quick click of the lock, they are soon engaged in intimacies.
Once Darcy can refocus on his work after the most satisfying diversion, he indicates a letter from Bingley which arrived recently. The Bingleys tarried at Netherfield longer after the wedding then true to Bingley’s changing nature, he and Jane impulsively decided to go to London for a spell. Also, Charles wished to ascertain what Caroline was doing in London. The letter contains the answers and Charles is not at all pleased. He wrote of his dismay to Darcy but the news he imparts already traveled to Darcy via a column in the society section of the newspaper. “It seems Miss Bingley is now Mrs. Cleese. Charles has written to tell me the news, and he is none too pleased. Caroline went to London where she was seen in the company of the gentleman. Mr. Cleese obtained a special license, and the wedding ceremony took place post haste without the benefit of friends or family attending. When Charles went to London, he was made aware of the marriage. Caroline demanded her dowry immediately. Charles complied, but he is suspicious.”
“This is quite a shock! No one had any notion of what Caroline planned to do then? There did not seem to be any sort of an understanding between the two let alone a courtship. Poor Charles, he must be upset.” Lizzy could barely believe Caroline would have made such a rash move. She flirted with Mr. Cleese at the wedding, but none of the others watching thought Caroline held any interest in the man. Mr. Cleese is a widower much older than Caroline with two married sons of his own. While Lizzy could understand his interest in Caroline, she cannot fathom why Caroline would have decided to bind herself to Mr. Cleese.
“There is more, see here in the paper.” Darcy hands her the paper folded over to the same society pages which had columns about Darcy in the past.
In other Society events, Miss Caroline Bingley was united in marriage to Mr. Albert Cleese. Mr. Cleese is a close friend of Lord Matlock, and it is speculated the two met at the recent marriage of Henry Fitzwilliam to Anne de Bourgh. While it is easy to see the attraction Mr. Cleese has for his wife, questions have arisen as to why a comely lady with a hefty dowry would not have other suitors. Reports surfaced about Mr. Cleese’s attention to the former Miss Bingley as they were seen numerous times in the company of the other while both were in London. The wedding took place almost immediately after a special license was obtained. Neither bride nor groom was surrounded by family or friends when the event took place. Most curious.
“The paper makes it sound as if their relatives shunned the wedding, but Caroline did not inform anyone of the upcoming nuptials. The worst part of this is in Charles’ letter and forgive me if I offend you, but I think it best if you know. Mr. Cleese has an estate as you know and while it is not on par with that of my aunt and uncle, it is a respectable one. The issue which has come up and has Charles particularly distressed is he has heard from reliable sources Mr. Cleese has practiced a droit du seigneur at various times as the Master of the manor.”
As Lizzy gasps, Darcy shakes his head disgustedly. “Earlier we were talking about what in my opinion I should do as a fair and just Master. You see, some think the manor and those in its employ and those who work the land are there simply for the pleasure of the Master, whatever pleasure it may be. I cannot fathom how the members of the landed gentry tolerate such behavior and they would call themselves gentlemen. Charles fears Caroline has aligned herself with a less than honorable man. Also, I do not think Uncle has as close of an acquaintance with the man as the article implies.”
“Will scandal become attached to Mr. Bingley?” Lizzy wants to know.
“There is that possibility, but since the article stated there was no family in attendance for the wedding, Charles can plead he did not sanction the marriage as Caroline’s oldest male relative. It is disingenuous, but Charles can distance himself from the union especially if what Mr. Cleese has been accused of is true.” Darcy furrows his brow as he ponders what Caroline has done. It seems as if there is no end to Caroline bringing some sort of misery to her brother. This incident is by far the worst. The Darcys talk over Caroline’s impulsive marriage but other than offering their understanding and support to Charles and Jane there is little more they can do.
Chapter 34
After saying their farewells to Georgiana, the Darcy carriages make their way to London. The meetings with Mr. Cullip will be efficient and productive as Darcy has no desire to stay in London longer than necessary. Lizzy looks forward to the time in London as Darcy agreed to a small formal dinner party as a way for Lizzy to further her reputation as the competent and elegant Mrs. Darcy. As the carriage rocks gently down the road, Lizzy thinks over the ball she hosted at Pemberley, and she wonders how often Darcy had entertained in that manner when he first became Master.
“Did you often host balls or parties when you first became Master?” Lizzy inquires of him.
“I was given a grace period if you will after Father’s death. I took the time to learn my duties and to further my business associations. However, after about a year, Society’s pressures began to be felt. If I shunned the ton and those who have elevated rank, I would not only hurt Pemberley, but I would make Georgiana’s finding a match difficult. At my Aunt Matlock’s behest, I hosted a ball at the Darcy townhouse.” Darcy drops his eyes and smiles self-consciously. “When I told you I abhorred these functions, I was not overstating. I do not like being on display nor having to engage in witty banter with those I am not fully acquainted with. You know yourself this to be true. I have no difficulty in the business world, a man’s domain, but the social setting with the ladies-totally inept!” Lizzy laughs as she puts her hand on his thigh as Darcy resumes his tale. “Naturally there were those who hoped to catch the Master’s eye, and they were relentless. I was forced to dance of course, but the big question on everyone’s mind was
who would I open the dancing with? There were many twittering flirtatious young ladies waving their fans and tossing their hair trying to catch my eye. Smiling, giggling, lowering their eyes coyly.” Darcy shakes his head with a slightly pained expression on his face.
“How I wished I could go over by the other gentlemen to talk politics, trade, horse racing or anything else. Gutting and cleaning a deer would have been preferable to handling the ladies. As host though I was trapped. All the glowering and scowling would mean nothing. Aunt Matlock gave me her raised brow and indicated her watch telling me I needed to start the dancing. Henry, blast him, stood there with a ridiculous grin plastered on his face as he knew of my discomfort.”
“Whatever did you do?” Lizzy’s curiosity shows.
Darcy wags an index finger in the air, “I outsmarted them all. I escorted Georgiana to the floor for the first dance thus starting the ball. You have thought me at times to be impervious, well let me tell you, I could almost feel the daggers from the mamas and their daughters as Georgiana, and I twirled about.”
“Poor Mr. Darcy, at the mercy of all those women, how did you ever survive before me?” Lizzy flutters her lashes at him giving him a saucy smile.
“I didn’t. I did not live until there was you. As I think upon that first ball now, I realize I never settled the score with Henry for leaving me without support. Well never mind that, I have bested him enough times to make up for it.” Darcy’s mouth is lifted to one side but rapidly becomes a large smile when Lizzy scoots close to him on the bench. He bestows a hearty kiss to her mouth and clasps her in a hug. Lizzy lays her head on his shoulder as she asks him about other events he hosted.
“I did not host many. Some formal dinners and a few soirees. These are easier as there is no dancing. However, I still had to contend with various maidens all eager to make a match. Georgiana pressed me into one other ball which again I started the dancing with her but by that time my disagreeable nature and dark temperament had been cemented. But because of who I was, I was forced into attending others’ gatherings which always seemed to have an abundance of unattached females.”
“So the times you would be at the window, gazing at the scenery?”
“Was only a ploy because I did not know what to say to start a conversation nor how to join in on one which had already begun. That plus using the servants’ entries to elude the females. Another testament to my arrogance would be to say I did not find the chatter of mixed company interesting. Now give me a ticklish business matter, and I can shine.” Darcy squirms and giggles as Elizabeth begins an attack on his ticklish sides. For such a strong and confident man, Elizabeth delights in how she can reduce him to childlike laughter by simply tickling him. It is another hidden facet of her husband only she is privy to.
“I would say this matter is quite ticklish to you.” Lizzy chortles as she makes him jump and twist with a particularly pointed assault.
“Stop, stop, let me catch my breath!” Darcy gasps as he wipes the tears from his eyes. “Perhaps I should have been more open to the possibilities those other ladies presented.”
“Ha! I know better than that! You built such a wall about yourself which no one could scale. I recall how you would stare at me at the beginning of our acquaintance. You thought I did not notice? I did, thinking you were looking for fault. I wonder what would have happened had you tried more traditional routes and allowed yourself to converse with me.” Lizzy teases him as she twists her mouth into a flirty smile.
“You are correct; I did not think you were wise to how I felt about you because I was not honest with myself. I did try to put myself into your conversations, but I never knew what to say, and often when I did, I believe I made myself look more aloof. At first, I thought I found someone who merely amused me, but later I became aware of your intelligence. I enjoyed offering you verbal challenges, and you never failed to rise to the occasion.” Darcy leans back into the seat with a smug look.
“I had to respond because I would not allow you to intimidate me. I thought you to be a most horrid person at times. Little did I know about the marvelous person you keep concealed. Do you know, Fitzwilliam,” Lizzy says shyly, “even with my annoyance with you, I could not help but notice what a handsome man you were. I recall thinking I would have liked to see you once with a smile on. When you were riding Tempest, and I watched you, your face had such a thunderous cast to it. Sometimes I wondered what it was in your life that made you so angry. To me, you had all in your favor yet you were not content. If I had known of some of the grief and loneliness you bore, I would have sought to give you some comfort.”
“That is a charming thought, but really I would not have allowed you to know much about me. My reticence stems from the mistrust I learned from my dealings with some in the ton. No, Lizzy, while I would fear to tread that path again, I believe I had to endure what I did to become worthy of you. But I have a more pressing concern which is undermining my confidence.” Lizzy looks at him perplexed. “You stated a moment ago you noticed what a handsome man I was. My vanity has taken a severe blow. Apparently, you do not find me attractive anymore.” Darcy adopts a solemn and vaguely affronted countenance but with a teasing sparkle in his blue eyes. Lizzy proceeds to show him how alluring she finds him, and the carriage ride becomes much more interesting for a time.
After an easy two day travel, they arrive at Darcy House. Mrs. Ball greets them, and she congratulates them about their blessed news. Lizzy has little to do regarding the dinner party but oversee the menus, seating arrangements, and entertainments, so she has time to visit with Jane. The Bingleys stayed in London after Caroline’s sudden nuptials and are happy to have Darcy and Lizzy with them in Town.
Jane and Elizabeth can do some shopping while the men attended their business. In the late afternoons, Darcy and Bingley are found at their gentlemen’s club where some transactions and deals are finalized. While in London, Jane and Lizzy are treated to a symphony performance featuring pieces from various composers, German, Italian and some from the fiery Russians. One particular piece has portions which swell with impressive crescendos and diminish into dulcet whispers. Lizzy glances over at her spouse who is enthralled with the music as a slight smile plays on his lips.
Elizabeth marks his strong profile as images of their acquaintance and marriage flash in her memory. The music serves as a backdrop for her musings which seem to parallel the intensity or softness of the notes. She recollects how his comments cut her to the bone and she wished to send him reeling with her retorts. It is the contentious times which first come to the fore including but not limited to Lizzy’s remembrances of his thunderous rides on Tempest with his scowl and some of their heated conversations. Then her naked fear when he was shot springs forth as the performers play the intense and vivid sections. When the music calms as the strings sing sweetly, Lizzy’s mind brings forth Darcy’s recovery and his planned teatime with her. The tranquil and serene measures of music bring forth his gentle caresses and murmured endearments along with his deep love for her. When Darcy puts his arm around her and pulls her closer as they sit in their private box, Elizabeth feels almost as if the orchestra performed only for her and her husband.
The formal dinner party the following evening is a success with Lizzy again garnering positive responses. Most everyone of Darcy’s acquaintance accepts her, and his closest friends are relieved to see the peace which has entered their friend’s being. Lizzy charms them all, and they are delighted when they witness firsthand her intellect and wit. It is no wonder why the astute and somber Darcy has succumbed. Lizzy is pleased with the outcome of the dinner party, and much like Darcy, she counts the time in London as a success.
One visit though distresses both Lizzy and Jane. The newly minted Mrs. Cleese arrives at the townhouse unexpectedly late one afternoon. Charles and Darcy decided some fencing would be entertaining, so they are not present. Jane and Lizzy are in a smaller parlor enjoying tea and the steady breeze which ruffles the curtains. The announcement fr
om Mrs. Ball that Mrs. Cleese is seeking admittance is a shock but not entirely unwelcome as Lizzy is curious as to why the lady would call. Jane will not admit to such curiosity, but Lizzy knows her sister well enough to know her interest is piqued.
Caroline breezes into the room but instead of her cool, collected demeanor, she appears nervous and uncertain. This manner is altogether new coming from Caroline, and even though Caroline has never shown any kindness towards either sister, they try to put Caroline at ease. After she drinks some tea and engages in small talk, Caroline falls silent. Then she starts to ask after Lizzy’s and Jane’s marital felicity. Both women answer positively, still unsure where this discourse will lead.
“I have been a fool and a ninny,” Caroline states flatly. This startling statement is just the beginning. “I can see on my brother’s countenance that he is indeed content. I thank you for giving him that Jane.” Her eyes fix on Elizabeth. “Elizabeth, anyone should be able to see the love and devotion you and Mr. Darcy have for one another. I have never seen him so peaceful and blissful.” Lizzy and Jane thank her for the compliments, but she waves their appreciation off. “I have made what I fear is a dreadful mistake. My marriage to Mr. Cleese will never be even remotely what the two of you have accomplished. I do not speak of fortune but of the love and respect which can exist between a man and a woman. I should not speak ill of my husband but I have no one to turn to, and I must relieve myself of the burden I carry in my heart.”
To say that Lizzy and Jane are astounded would be a massive understatement. As Lizzy shoots Jane a puzzled glance, she moves to the settee to sit next to Caroline as she takes her hand. Caroline briefly glances at Lizzy then turns her head away as she focuses unseeing eyes on the far wall. “I never loved Mr. Darcy,” Caroline whispers, “I only loved what he could provide for me – a fine estate, prestige, power and honor. I loved what he represents not who he really is. After your marriage to him, I began to see I would not have been able to be the type of wife he needed nor deserved.” Caroline still does not look at either sister but continues her monologue almost as if she is talking to herself. “I decided to find what for me would be a suitable mate. One who garnered the respect and consequence I desired. One who would elevate me above all others. It did not matter to me what his looks are, nor his fidelity as long as I acquired the status I coveted.” Caroline has tears course down her cheeks, but she does nothing to remove them. “I met Mr. Cleese at the Fitzwilliams’ wedding. He promised me all I desired and more. He emphasized a connection to Lord Matlock which is not necessarily as strong as he intimated. He promised me more protection and honor than what my loving brother Charles provided thus far. He told me his consequence is more than Mr. Darcy’s and he could give me far more prestige than Mr. Darcy. I, in my greed and pride, incautiously believed him and encouraged him.” A shudder racks Caroline and Lizzy squeezes her hand tighter while Jane pours her some more tea and brings it to her.