by DW Cee
If Emily was interested, I’d tell her I was not doing well—physically, mentally, or emotionally. I’ve been spending my nights in our bed at the new empty house and my days wondering how Max was faring. Was I acting like Alex Forrest, myself, by staying over at a home where I wasn’t welcomed anymore? Max and I had finished moving in but had not “lived” at the house, yet. We thought we’d start after my big trial.
Prophetic word—TRIAL. That’s exactly what this was!
“Anybody home?” Garret and Josh walked into Max’s house as I sat on the chair doing what I’ve become an expert at—zoning. “If you’re going to stay here by yourself, you need to CLOSE and LOCK the door, Sis.”
“Hey,” was all I could say.
“We just talked to Max.”
“You did?” Nobody had been able to get a hold of Max since he’d left. This was the sign I’d been looking for, from above. “What’d he say?”
“Well...” Garret elbowed Josh for telling me about their conversation. “We can tell you what Max said, if you’ll tell us what the hell is going on. Josh and I are in the dark. Max won’t say much.”
We changed locations and went out for a burger and a beer. Here, I told the Davis brothers about my infidelity.
“Shit, Jane!”
“Do you hate me, too?” I put my head down. I’d have nothing to say if Garret and Josh hated me for the rest of their lives. “I know I hate myself for what I did.”
“Jane...we still love you. You just caught us by surprise.” Josh answered and hugged me and Garret joined in. “We’ll help you.”
“Please help me by telling me what Max said to you today. Is he doing all right? I’ve sent him a few emails asking if I could call him, but he hasn’t responded. Do you have a number where I can reach him?”
“Max is...Max. He didn’t say much except he told me to...” Garret stopped but I encouraged him to continue. “He told me to get the house ready to...rent...”
“Which house?” Surely, Max was NOT kicking me out of our home!
“Well...” Garret couldn’t answer. “Would it piss you off if I said, the house you are living in?”
That’s when I lost it and started to cry in a public restaurant.
“Jane...” Both brothers hugged me. “Don’t cry. When Max told us to clear out his place, he didn’t know you were living there. He stopped talking once I told him you had been there since right after he left. I think he was dumbfounded.”
“You have his number? Can I call him?”
“He called from someone else’s line just to say he was okay. Max didn’t take a phone. Are you just going to wait for him to come home and try to fix everything, then?”
“No...I’m going to go see him. Jake is working everything out for me, but it’s taking longer than usual because Jake’s been so busy with the new baby.”
“What can we do to help you?” Josh asked.
“Did Max ask about me at all?”
Garret and Josh looked at each other before answering. “He didn’t in so many words but we know he misses you. When he was here, he talked about you incessantly. You were his life, his every breath. I swear, there were times when we told him to shut up because we were so tired of hearing about you,” Garret acknowledged.
“Janey...” Josh put his arms around me and kissed me on the cheek. “Max still loves you. Most likely he feels betrayed, but it’s not like you did anything with Donovan—that asshole! I knew I never liked him. Where the hell is he now? I’m gonna go kick his ass.”
“I think he’s planning on flying to London to see...” I stopped mid-sentence wondering why Josh was still here. “Why haven’t you left yet? Weren’t you supposed to be in London by now?”
“Everything is not quite settled with my house. I had a few things that needed fixing. I hope to leave by next week.”
Would it be a good idea to tell Josh about The English Stranger as well as Donovan? It didn’t seem like a good idea now, but maybe he’d be better off knowing that odds were stacked against him.
“Why are you staring at me like that?”
“It’s nothing Josh. I was just thinking.”
Talking with Josh and Garret depressed me enough to go visit Jake, regardless of Emily’s feelings for me.
“What brings you here at this hour?”
“Hello, big brother. I need help.”
Jake took me into his office and closed the door. “Everyone’s asleep. Keep your voice down.”
Sure! In this freakin’ desperate situation, all he could think about was making sure his family slept. Well, this part of the family hasn’t slept well in days. This family member cries to sleep every freakin’ night because of the mess she’s in.
“Stop yelling at me in your mind. I can see your eyeballs twitching which means you’re cursing me to hell and back. Emily gets up every three hours with JR, and since two nights ago, the twins have been taking turns getting up every few hours, looking for attention.”
“Why don’t you get up and give them the extra attention they need?”
“First, because they don’t want me. Second, because my wife won’t wake me up. You know I’m a deep sleeper.”
“So Emily is up all day, all night?”
“Practically.”
“What about getting some help?”
“For now, I’ve got everyone scheduled to come in each day of the week, starting with Mom and Dad. This will allow Emily to nap when the baby naps during the day.”
These two lovebirds were depressing to be around. Their life was too perfect. Their love was unattainable. Who could compete?
“Jake, I know you’re really busy with the new baby and all, but were you able to find out about Mexico for me?”
“I’m trying to get you clearance to go into this area. But it isn’t that easy. This isn’t Cabo San Lucas or Cancun-type of Mexico.”
“I understand Jake and I really appreciate all that you’re doing for me. I really messed up this time and I want to try and make this right even if it’s for the last time.”
“Are you sure this is what you want?”
“Why would you ask me that? I thought you always said Max was the guy for me. Are you doubting your own words now?”
“I’m not doubting what Emily and I believe, but if this isn’t what you really want, then cut it off now before you both get any deeper. You wavered from day one and I think it’s time you really sit down and ask yourself if this is what you truly want. Emily and I are not going to live your life for you. We want you to be happy whether it’s with Max or with Donovan or with another man. That is what is most important to us.”
“I don’t want Donovan and he doesn’t want me either. I think he has finally realized that the woman he wants is Laney not me.”
“I don’t know when this clearance is going to happen. I’m going to be honest with you, you may never be allowed to go down there. Just sit tight and I will do what I can.”
I was thoroughly depressed when I got home after talking to Garrett and Josh, and then to Jake. It seemed as though I may have to wait out the entire month before I could talk to Max and try and reconcile.
“Hey there sis. How you doing?” Nick always had a bright smile on his face for me. It was nice to see somebody smiling.
“I’m miserable and at the last depths of despair.” And I wasn’t exaggerating when I said that.
“I got an email from Max today. You want to read it?” Well why didn’t he tell me sooner? I grabbed his phone from him and opened up Max’s email immediately.
The email asked Nick to bring much needed supplies from the hospital. Apparently, they’d underestimated how many children would show up for care. “You going to go?”
“I thought I might go and have my big sister tagalong with me for a few days. You up for a trip to Mexico?”
“You’d be able to get me cleared to go?”
“I would let everyone know that was a prerequisite before I agreed to go.”
; “You’re the best brother, Nick. Thank you so much. Let me know when you’re leaving and I’ll be ready to go.”
The four men I came across this evening are truly wonderful men. The first two are not my brothers by blood, but they love me no less than the two brothers who are blood related to me. Finally I feel a little hopeful that maybe Max and I might have our day of reckoning.
July 11, 2013 Misery Loves Company
“When do you leave Jane?”
“In a couple of days. When do you leave?”
“I don’t think I’m going back to London anytime soon.” Donovan sounded thoroughly discouraged.
“Why not? You didn’t get to see her when you went this last time?”
“She dodged my every attempt to see her. The housekeeper swore up and down that she wasn’t home, but I still waited around and you know, she never came home that night. I think I lost her for good.” Donovan was down in the dumps.
We were having drinks after work commiserating about our pathetic situation. All of this was entirely both our faults and we really had nobody else to talk to, but each other.
“How about we go see Jake and Emily right now and see if we can get some answers out of them. I had no idea what was going on in Laney’s mind and heart, but I was sure Emily was privy to all of that information.”
“That’s the best idea you’ve had in a long while Jane.” Finally, a smile on that handsome face.
We picked up some dessert and coffee and let Jake know ahead of time that we were coming over. Surprisingly Jake was not hostile about us coming over at nighttime, disturbing his wife’s rest.
“Hey, what’s up?” Donovan said in a gloomy way.
Jake only laughed at us, and he laughed heartily.
“Emily is nursing right now, but make yourselves at home.” Jake led us into the family room.
“Hey guys,” Emily said cheerfully. She came in sooner than we all expected.
I felt terrible that I hadn’t seen her or the kids since she gave birth. “How are you doing and how’s JR?”
“I feel good and JR is beautiful,” she said without pause. “You have to see him. He looks so much like James and Ellie when they were first born, and yet he has his own distinct look about him, too. And he’s such a good baby. He never fusses, rarely cries, and I can confidently say I love this child as much as my first two.”
I looked at her confused. “Why wouldn’t you love this child as much?”
“You’ll understand when you have kids. The first one, or ones in my case, occupy all the real estate in your heart and you think there’s no more land. Surprisingly, your heart gets bigger and there’s just as much love for the next one. Even at 3:00 in the morning, JR is the apple of my eye.” It was crazy how much love she had for her family.
“How are the twins handling the birth of the baby?” I continued to ask since I hadn’t been around for a while.
“Every day has been different. One day they love their new brother. The next day I need to make sure Ellie is not trying to stuff something up JR’s nose. They find fascinating the concept of another human who is smaller than they are, but they don’t like how much attention I give the new baby. The twins both want to nurse again and they keep climbing on top of me.” she said with a chuckle.
“I can stay here with Jane and Donovan if you want to go up and sleep, my love. And I don’t have class till late tomorrow so I want you to sleep-in, okay. I’ll give JR a bottle in the morning.”
“I’ll take care of JR in the morning, if you’ll take the twins out to breakfast. I think they’ll love the extra attention.”
“How about if I take care of JR and you go out with the twins. That might work better for them, seeing as how they want more attention from you.”
“That’s a great idea Jake, I’ll do that.”
My brother and Emily had such an easy rapport; it really was beautiful watching them as a couple. They always try to put each other’s needs first and work to love each other more. Donovan was thinking what I was thinking because he had a sweet smile on his face, watching his buddy and Emily.
Emily was the first to speak to us. “I want to apologize to the both of you for being so upset that day at the hospital. Laney and Max are both very special to me, not that you two aren’t. It’s just that Max, Laney, and I are similar in temperament and thought, so I know their pain...I can almost feel their pain.”
“You were right in being upset with us, Emily. We trifled with everyone’s feelings just to satisfy our own curiosity.” Donovan confessed. “I’ve ruined several relationships with my action. I’m deeply sorry and embarrassed.”
“What will both of you do now?” Emily asked.
“Emily has no idea. I didn’t think she needed to know every goings-on. She has enough to deal with.” Jake explained.
“I’m leaving tomorrow with Nick to Mexico and I’m going to try and reconcile with Max, assuming that’s what he wants.”
Emily looked so happy; she came over and hugged me. “Of course that’s what he wants. Did Max give you your birthday present?”
“Well...yeah...but I kinda threw it back at him.”
“Wha??? Why would you do that?” Jake and Donovan both laughed. I explained the entire story of what happened when Max came back out to the airport and Emily half-laughed and half-frowned. Overall, she didn’t look very happy with me. “Do you know what was in that box?”
I shook my head, no.
“You didn’t even open it?”
“No. I literally threw it back at him.” I did regret having done that since now curiosity was killing the cat. “Do you know? Can you tell me?”
“It’s probably best I don’t tell you what it was. I’m sure there will be another chance where Max can give you the present again.”
“Please, Emily! Can you please tell me what was in there?”
Emily shook her head no. “It’s not my gift to give, Jane. I’m not trying to punish you for what happened between you and Max. This is truly something Max should give you.” Emily looked really sad—probably more for Max than for me. Damn! What have I done?
“Emily, if you can’t help Jane out, can you help me?”
“What did you need help with Donovan? I’ll help you if I can.”
“I’ve come to the realization, a little late, that maybe my feelings for Laney are not what I thought they were.”
“What did you think they were?”
“I just thought they were…” He had a hard time coming up with an answer. “I thought they were just feelings of an older brother caring for a younger sister, or a younger cousin, or...I don’t know what the hell I thought, Emily!”
“And now?”