Forsaken Hunger

by Nikki McCoy

  “Kennie!” Daneya exclaimed.

  “What? You told me he was loaded, and he loves me too, right? I could get used to this.”

  Saden laughed and kissed her forehead. “I’ll give you anything your mom approves of.”

  She groaned and rolled her eyes, mumbling something under her breath.

  Daneya took his hand and leaned into him. “So what do we do now?”

  A thousand ideas came to mind, though it was his stomach that settled the decision for him. “I take you two out to dinner. Anywhere you want to go.”

  Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. “You eat?”

  “It’s a work in progress.”

  She tilted her head then pulled him down to breathe seductively in his ear. “How about we stay in and order pizza? I don’t want to share you with the rest of the world just yet.”

  Saden felt himself grow hard in the tight confines of his jeans. He delved into the warm cavern of her mouth and knew he was where he belonged. With her, he was already home.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Phoenix floated in a sea of emptiness for several seconds. Or perhaps it was an eternity. Time didn’t exist where he was—caught somewhere between life and the promising finality of death. It was peaceful here. Quiet and devoid of the constant struggle for sanity.

  Then it was ripped away by the searing agony of healing fire. Blazing, white light burned his corneas as the neurons in his brain were forced to resume activity, stealing him from the sweet release of death. His autonomic nervous system kicked into gear, heart beating wildly in shock and lungs violently purging themselves of the water that had drowned him.

  One would think the pain of dying would forever be trapped in the recesses of the subconscious, but the mind always remembered. It recalled every excruciating moment in detail and threw them back into conscious thought. For Drakons, it wasn’t the process of the body dying that should be feared during torture. It was the knowledge that they were powerless to prevent it from happening again and again, leaving them with no choice except to endure until it was over.

  In Phoenix’s case, he was tethered to sanity by more than just his strength of will. Giving in to the relief of madness wasn’t an option. To do so would render him useless and essentially forfeit both his life and Sasha’s.

  Awareness gradually crept back to him. Shooting pains traveled from his wrists and ankles as he instinctively tried to curl in on himself. The iron shackles binding him to the cold, metal slab in a spread eagle position had cut deep into his skin. Sweltering heat from the half-dozen torches lining the walls of the cell caused streams of sweat to trickle into the numerous wounds covering his naked body. The glow of a red hot poker appeared above him before coming down across his belly.

  After weeks of being subjected to concentrated abuse and water boarding, his resistance had finally snapped, leaving him vulnerable. A scream was wrenched from his raw throat, followed by the stench of burning flesh clogging his nostrils. Consciousness ebbed as his mind desperately sought refuge.

  Serrakus was having none of that, however. He backhanded Phoenix hard then yanked a fistful of his hair. “Say it! You were the one who released Saden from my dungeon, weren’t you? Tell me!”

  Phoenix took a ragged breath and finally decided to give the only answer he knew the Drakonem would accept. “I did it. I got him out.” It was a lie, of course. But no matter how many times he claimed he didn’t know who the culprit was, it wouldn’t matter. Serrakus needed someone to blame and the chances that he might believe he’d been betrayed by Lucius were slim to none.

  No, it was better this way. Phoenix just wanted the interrogations to stop and the torture to go back to what he was used to dealing with.

  Serrakus sneered in contempt. “You disappoint me, Phoenix. I had thought you were above such petty emotions as sympathy. You’ve cost me two Drakons with your little rebellion. Be assured, the consequences will fit the crime.” He gave the poker to Laurs who stood to the side. “Leave him here until I’ve decided what his punishment shall be.”

  Laurs snuffed the torches then followed his master out of the cell, locking the door behind him. Phoenix let his aching muscles relax and concentrated on taking even, shallow breaths. As much to ease the pain of his broken ribs as to tolerate the thick plumes of rancid smoke filling the air.

  After a short period, he felt a wisp of enquiry across his senses. Sasha’s gentle presence began to rise to the surface at the lull in his suffering. He quickly sent a response of warning, telling her it wasn’t over yet, and felt her slowly withdraw again. In truth, he didn’t want her to witness this. There was no need for her to be aware of how much his actions were costing him.

  He was the one who’d agreed to her request, and he would bear the consequences alone.

  Too soon, the door to the cell was opened and light spilled into the comforting darkness. He tensed and shut his eyes, waiting for whatever sadistic craving Laurs had chosen to indulge in now. It wouldn’t be the first time the warder had secretly defied Serrakus just to seek out further pleasure in delivering pain.

  When a wet towel was pressed to his forehead, he jerked and looked up to find Lucius peering down at him. The Drakonem’s expression was unreadable, his sharp features eerily pronounced in the flames of a single torch that had been placed in a nearby sconce. Next to him was the Dresidien slave Phoenix recognized from before. She was holding a small bowl of what he assumed held water.

  Lucius dabbed the towel lightly over Phoenix’s fevered skin. “What a charming mystery you are, my fierce warrior. I’ve just been informed by my brother that you took responsibility for my part in Saden’s success. I’m curious. Was this due to the noble nature you keep so hidden within?”

  Phoenix wanted nothing more than to call the Drakonem out on his cowardice, but he was too afraid to move or say anything. Afraid that Lucius might take the soothing balm of the cool towel from his forehead. He hated himself for the weakness while at the same time, was too far gone to care.

  “Don’t bother denying it,” Lucius went on to say. “You see, I know about your arrangement with Tallos to have that halfling girl’s sentence added to yours. Quite chivalrous, I must admit. Though not your idea, was it? No. I think you did it at the request of your precious Djinn. How might Saden react, I wonder, if he knew Mckenzie’s life had been saved by his enemy and a man he despises for no other reason than mere rumor?

  “An interesting juxtaposition, really, that he chooses to hate you for a past you had no more control over than he had of his own. Do you think he would show gratitude or spit in your face as he condemned you?”

  It was a rhetorical question, and still, the obvious answer made Phoenix avert his gaze in humiliation. He knew exactly what Saden would think if he were made aware of the truth. That it was all somehow part of an elaborate scheme that would only prove Phoenix’s selfish and immoral nature in the end. It shouldn’t have bothered him. All his life he’d been the scapegoat, the black stain on the history of his former clan and the Drakon who exemplified everything a criminal should be reviled for.

  Saden’s opinion shouldn’t even touch him.

  That would also be a lie, however. While it was true Sasha had urged him to contact Tallos on Mckenzie’s behalf, that wasn’t the only reason he’d requested to accept her punishment. Saden had done everything within his power to protect the little girl and Phoenix respected that above all else. Was it worth the punishment he would endure for the next year at least?

  Probably not.

  Lucius was right. It wouldn’t change the way anyone viewed him. Though none of that mattered, right? He was the filth that deserved whatever came to him.

  So long as Sasha remained safe and happy within him, he was all right with that.

  Lucius dipped the cloth into the bowl his slave held then continued to wipe the sweat from Phoenix’s face. “What about your brother, Roshon? Because of your interference, he and his clan, your clan, will benefit greatly from an alliance h
e’s made with Saden and the house of Avram. Pity he’s not accrediting you for the role you played. What I find most compelling, however, is the way you talked Mckenzie into taking that last step necessary to kill Gabriel.”

  Phoenix narrowed his gaze on Lucius. He recalled with perfect clarity the events of that night at the facility. How Mckenzie had clung to her innocence and sense of morality in the midst of a situation that challenged them. It had been clear she wanted to do what was right, and at the same time, couldn’t bring herself to do it. As harsh as his words may have sounded, they’d been nothing more than a simple push to make her realize what she already knew. That she cared for Saden enough to make that sacrifice.

  If someone had been there for him, urged him to do what was necessary, maybe his life would’ve turned out differently.

  “How?” he croaked. Lucius shouldn’t have known about what had happened unless Saden had told him.

  The silver-haired Drakonem cast him a deprecating frown. “Did you really think I would force Saden to take you with him if I didn’t have some way of observing the outcome? You’ve been around long enough to know me better than that. My beautiful Allorha here witnessed everything through Saden’s mind. I must say, it was ingenious, the way you manipulated her emotions like that. It’s almost a shame Saden was too blinded by his love for the halfling to see your purpose.

  “I, myself, do not have such blinders. I see how your Djinn’s request to take the place of the halfling is costing you. While your actions are admirable, they’re also foolish and a waste of energy. No one will bother to find out the truth of what you’ve done, let alone thank you for it. And you’re certainly no martyr.

  “I have a better solution. Rescind your offer to carry Mckenzie’s sentence. It’s not too late. I can contact Tallos and convince him to place the girl under my control. You have my word I will treat her fairly and you can look in on her any time you like. I will also see what I can do to have you removed from Serrakus’ service and assigned to mine. Give up this travesty of heroism and let me help you.”

  Phoenix stared at Lucius for countless seconds. Admittedly, a part of him wanted to abandon his promise to Sasha and accept the Drakonem’s offer. He was so tired of it all. Sick of the hatred he warranted from a past he couldn’t change. The bleakness of eternity was wearing him thin and this situation with Saden was only another crack in the well of his sanity.

  But he knew he wouldn’t go through with it. Sasha saw the memory of her own daughter in Mckenzie. A child that had been ripped from her arms and, along with her son, deemed as collateral damage and murdered by her own kind. In the long run, a year or more of torture was nothing compared to the solace he could give Sasha by taking Mckenzie’s punishment.

  “No one can blame you for being selfish in this matter,” Lucius added with smooth persuasion. “How far are you willing to let that Djinn take advantage of you?”

  “The same way you’re taking advantage of me?” Phoenix let out a rough laugh. “Go fuck yourself.”

  Lucius’ expression contorted with anger then settled into a mask of serene arrogance. “Have it your way. I look forward to the next time we meet. Hopefully under more…fortuitous circumstances.”

  After Lucius and his slave left, taking the light with them, Phoenix released the tension in his sore muscles and let his mind wander. He thought of his brother and the way Roshon’s geis had greeted him. With trust and affection, like the panther used to when Phoenix and his brother were children. Since Trax was the physical manifestation of Roshon’s desires, perhaps it was possible Roshon still cared beneath his logic and animosity.

  Phoenix killed that thought instantly and shook his head. He was a fool to even consider it. Whatever ties they’d shared had long ago been severed. Roshon was a rightful chief now, and he the pariah that should’ve remained forgotten. He laughed bitterly into the darkness and for the first time in centuries, prayed for a death that would never come.

  * * * *

  One year later…

  Daneya studied the reflection in the full-length mirror with a mixture of amazed apprehension. The stranger staring back at her wasn’t a woman she recognized. Her long, burgundy tresses were swept up in an elegant roll at the back of her head with curled locks framing her angular face. Lipstick painted her lips rose-red and her eyes were lined with coal mascara, adding an element of exotic mystery to her features. A white, satin gown clung to her body and accentuated every curve, making her tan skin seem to glow in contrast.

  The woman in front of her was absolutely stunning, and couldn’t possibly be the same woman she’d woken up as that morning.

  The door to the bedroom opened and Erin practically danced inside, beaming from ear to ear. She let out an ungodly squeal then began adjusting the jeweled net pinned to Daneya’s hair. “You look gorgeous! Didn’t I tell you it would be worth it?”

  Daneya twisted her face in a frown. She still wasn’t quite sure giving her friend free reign as bridesmaid and coordinator of her wedding had been such a great idea.

  Erin had been a whirlwind of frenetic energy over the past month, taking it upon herself to arrange everything from the reception to the gown and makeup Daneya wore. What had started as a simple affair born of legal necessity had quickly turned into a monumental event. “Why did I let you talk me into this?”

  Erin adjusted the silver necklace at Daneya’s throat then stood back to admire her handiwork. “Because you love me. Because I’m married to a man whose idea of romance is trimming his nose hairs and refraining from disgusting bodily functions one day out of the year. And because I need my vicarious thrills! Don’t ruin this for me.”

  Daneya smiled and hugged her friend. When she had turned in her resignation to the new director of the DCM, she’d had to cut all ties to that life, including her friendships with everyone except Vincent. It would have been too complicated to explain her relationship with an ex-Drakon and why she allowed her daughter near him. Erin, however, had stubbornly refused to say goodbye and had remained close despite the wild rumors still circulating over Daneya’s departure. Even after being told of Saden’s previous life and Mckenzie’s father, she hadn’t been deterred.

  She was a true friend without fail.

  “Do you know if Blade has arrived yet?” Daneya asked.

  Erin shook her head grimly. “I don’t think he’s coming. I overheard Saden this morning talking with Roshon about the new assignment Blade was working.”

  The new assignment. Daneya had forgotten about that in all the fuss over the wedding. Blade had come to them a week ago to let them know he might not be there as Saden’s best man due to the job he’d been given. Although he had said nothing more on the issue, his distress had been obvious. Whatever it was Serrakus had him doing must have bothered him greatly.

  “I’m sure he’s fine,” Erin said soothingly.

  “Yeah,” she agreed, trying to dispel her worry for the cocky SOB she’d grown to care about. “You’re right.” He would’ve at least told Saden if the job were something he couldn’t handle, wouldn’t he? “Where’s Kennie?”

  As if on cue, Mckenzie raced through the doorway and skidded to a halt in front of Daneya. Her hair had also been intricately styled atop her head and a light dusting of makeup applied to her maturing features. She’d been appalled at first at the prospect of wearing a dress as the flower girl, until Saden had given her a credit card and told her to order anything she liked. The result was a remarkable, deep violet dress with lavender lace trim, subtle jewelry and black combat boots boasting silver spikes down the front. Saden had been so proud of the boots, he’d bought her an ivory switchblade to conceal in one of them.

  Overall, she was radiant with her own touch of style. Daneya blinked back tears and grabbed her daughter in a tight embrace. It still amazed her that Saden had asked her to marry him almost solely for the purpose of making Mckenzie legally his. The human ceremony meant nothing to his kind who had their own, more permanent ritual of binding, and
she had never laid much stock in a piece of paper.

  When Saden had found out the law required him to be Mckenzie’s stepfather before he could adopt her, though, he’d proposed immediately and announced his intentions to everyone.

  The elaborate fanfare of the occasion was all due to Erin. Once she had discovered what was going on, she’d seized control and told Saden to just ‘sit back and enjoy the ride’. That had been nearly a quarter-million dollars ago. Not even Daneya had been able to curb her enthusiasm.

  Surprisingly, the leisonguardes Saden worked with had taken the news rather well. Only a handful of them had protested Saden’s union to an ex-vigilante of the DCM. Their obnoxious disapproval had been silenced, however, when he’d threatened to leave the Lady’s service and let them finish picking up after Gabriel on their own. After only a year in his position, he was already too valuable an asset to risk losing. And while none of them would admit it, Daneya had also proven invaluable at Saden’s side.

  Mckenzie had benefited most from their work with the house of Avram. Finally, she was able to make friends with other children like her. Saden had even enrolled her in the private school staffed and operated by his kind in their region. The kids she attended with were unaware of her connection to Gabriel and the staff had been sufficiently threatened to keep it that way.

  Mckenzie squirmed out of her arms and bounced on the balls of her feet. “Are you ready? Roshon says the geis are going to start eating the food if no one else does.”

  Daneya rolled her eyes with an exaggerated sigh. “Yes. Go tell them to start the music.”

  Just as Mckenzie reached the door where her new best friend waited, a sweet little Vampyre named Michele, she turned around and smiled brilliantly. “I love you, Mom.”

  “Love you, too, baby.” A single tear trickled down her cheek as she watched them leave. Her daughter looked so happy. More than she had in her entire life. It seemed ludicrous how close Daneya had come to letting that slip away, that chance at what was now a reality. If it hadn’t been for Blade and Vincent…