Redeem Me (Crimson Pack Trilogy Book 2)

by A Lonergan

  “I always liked the friendship she had with you. Her whole life she was alone. She had friends but never let anyone very close. It always worried me and honestly, I felt like it was my fault. As we went through infertility before we had her, I stopped trying to have friends. The pain was too unbearable to be around others that had no problems getting pregnant. It was always easier to friend people in other countries that we didn’t have to see often.”

  I nodded my head. Some of this I had already known.

  She sighed. “She said she didn’t want to speak to you… but I feel like you should call her. She always cared for you and I don’t want her to lose the only real friend she has.”

  She held out her phone to me so I could take down the number into mine. I didn’t miss the other pics of her smiling in similar baggy clothes on the screen of the texts. “Can you not tell her that I have this? I feel like I need to work up the nerve to speak to her. I need to think of what I want to say to her. I miss her so much.”

  Mrs. Rivers grabbed my hand in hers before she pulled me in for a hug. “She loves you, I think she’s just a little lost at the moment.”

  She didn’t know how right she was.

  Chapter 12

  Rafe

  The phone in my hands felt like a bomb about to go off. I ran my fingers through my hair again before I threw the phone through the wall. I could barely contain the rage flowing through my limbs. Jinx, one of the lower-ranking wolves in the pack, had been able to trace the phone number that Tracey had gotten from Jade’s mother. None of it was good. The phone number was linked to one of the witch covens on the other side of the Racer Pack. We couldn’t go through their territory without permission but we had no idea if they were working together either.

  When my father had been Alpha things had been strained between our two packs for hundreds of years. I had no reason to patch things up. I had no reason to dig up old memories of my old man before he got sick. I also didn’t have much reason to bring it up to my mom… until now.

  She was watching me across the table, with my brother. My brother ignored my gaze as he shoveled food into his mouth. My mother, however, had her eyes set on me. Neither of us had touched our food. I leaned back in my chair and crossed my arms over my chest. The phone was now discarded on the table.

  “Tell me about the Racer Pack,” All the commotion at the table skidded to a halt. My mother’s eyebrow quirked slightly as she rose from the table and walked down the hall. I knew where she was headed before I stood from my chair. I ground my teeth together as I followed behind her.

  The smell of Jade was faint now, but it was enough to make me flinch as I pushed the office door closed behind me. She had bought a little succulent for her desk and had brought a water bottle from home. There was a pen set neatly next to the monitor. Those were the only traces of her here.

  I rubbed the center of my chest with my fist as I tried to process all the emotions flooding me.

  “Your uncle is the Alpha of the Racer Pack,” My head snapped up at the words. My mom leaned back in the office chair and closed her eyes. “He left this pack for a number of reasons but the first one was when your father chose a wife.”

  I leaned against the wall and took a deep breath. This was a story that I wasn’t ready to hear, but also, a story that my mother needed to tell. I could see it on her face, how much pain it was causing her to keep it all in. To keep it all together. Her shoulders relaxed an inch.

  “She was a witch,” I watched as my mom’s throat bobbed and the air filled with her nervous scent. “There was already enough turmoil with the witch covens at the time. Your father thought marrying one would be a good thing. Axel, Tracey’s dad, had married a half-witch. He had mated with her. What was the big deal?”

  I ran my hand down my face and she continued.

  “He thought the mate bond would just snap into place eventually, but there were complications and eventually she died.” Complications? I narrowed my eyes. What were the complications? How long ago was this? I pressed my lips together even though all of my thoughts and questions fought to come out. “That was at least a hundred years ago. There was much that happened after that but apparently, your uncle was in love with her. When she died, he was devastated. He told your father he was never allowed to come through the pack again. That he would never be welcomed back or forgiven. The covens eventually forgave your father because it wasn’t his fault. Complications with pregnancy happened all the time, especially when mixing supernatural races. Your Uncle Jared never got over it, unfortunately. We haven’t seen or heard from the Racer Pack since.”

  I exhaled through my nose and shook my head. Was he involved in this? Was he working with the witches and the rogues?

  Chapter 13

  Jade

  It had been two days since Damian and I had exchanged questions and answers. Two days since I had seen Lucas, the man from my cell. Two days since I had been placed in a regular bedroom without my shackles. The guard was the same, the one I knew would help me escape, but I needed to find the opportunity to do so. My wrists were still raw from the cuffs that had been around them. The werewolf healing I was supposed to have was gone still, thanks to the wolfsbane in my food.

  I was given proper clothing and my bed smelled clean but I didn’t feel better. I didn’t feel even remotely okay. Lucas was somewhere getting the same crappy treatment and I couldn’t stand for that to continue.

  For the first time since I had been deposited into this room, I got the guts to explore it. It took two days for me to be comfortable enough to do so. I had a light switch inside, rather than on the other side of the door. There were zero chains on or around the bed. One of the three doors in the room led to my guard, another to an empty closet, and then the last was a bathroom. An actual bathroom that I didn’t have to share with anyone else. A bathroom that I could use whenever I wanted. It wasn’t much, but it was a luxury I never knew I would miss.

  I knocked on the first door and the guard opened it. He was still wearing a ski mask but I knew immediately he was the same man from the first day. I straightened my shoulders. “I want to see Lucas.”

  His voice was gruff as his eyes changed to a bright yellow. “That isn’t something I can permit.”

  “Then talk to someone that can.” I folded my arms over my chest.

  He sighed. “Is this your one request?”

  I raised my eyebrows. “I get one request?”

  “One that is reasonable, yes. For your cooperation.”

  I nodded my head. He was someone I hoped would be a friend. I didn’t know much about him but I knew he didn’t deserve to be here anymore than I did.

  He grabbed the door handle. “Fine, but you’re the one who asked for this. Remember that.” The door closed without another word.

  My one request was granted later that day while I was eating my dinner in silence. I had avoided the meat but I had a feeling, they knew what I was up to. The mashed potatoes tasted bitter and the salad had a weird glaze on the leaves. The meat seemed to be the most normal thing. The door slammed open while I was lifting the fork to my lips. It bounced off of the wall and in walked my guard, with Lucas in tow. The guard shook his head and slammed the door behind him.

  Lucas didn’t look happy to see me. “What did you do?”

  I pushed my tray to him. He ignored it.

  “What did you do, Jade?” he repeated the question.

  “I had one request and I used it to get you here. Now I am not so lonely and now you don’t have to be in such awful conditions.”

  His brows pulled together. “You’re pretty stupid, has anyone told you that before?”

  I frowned. “That isn’t very nice.”

  He snorted. “Do you know what isn’t very nice? They are using you. They want you to get close to someone,” he pointed at himself. “So they can use that person against you.”

  My stomach dropped and I was thankful I had stopped eating. I didn’t feel so good now. His shoulders
dropped as he caught the look on my face.

  “I couldn’t figure out why they had paired us together until now. There are plenty of prisoners here that fight their wolves, I am nothing special.” He sat down on the floor beside me before he pulled the tray of food to himself.

  “You’re fighting your wolf?”

  He shrugged a shoulder up. “I don’t see why it matters. They did this to me. I have no choice but me and my wolf don’t exactly have the opportunity not to fight. All this wolfsbane is killing me.”

  “I don’t plan on staying here that long.” I shrugged as I watched him eat. I had missed having his company even if it didn’t amount to much. He was broody and quiet. I didn’t know much about him at all.

  “What did you do, sell your soul to the devil?”

  I quirked an eyebrow. “Damian?”

  “He might as well be the devil himself, Jade. You have no idea what you have done. Do you at least know why you’re here?”

  I wanted to answer his questions. It was so nice to be able to talk to someone besides the villain, but I knew better. I couldn’t trust Lucas just yet, even if I wanted to. Even if I was lonely. I still didn’t know him, but I didn’t want to be alone.

  “Why are you here?” He had to know that.

  He swallowed a mouthful of water before he looked at me. His eyes were brown and they held so much sadness. He reminded me of an abandoned puppy. But I knew looks could be deceiving. I had let myself get wrapped up with the wrong man one too many times. I couldn’t let puppy dog eyes get me in trouble this time.

  His eyes met mine and he smiled. It was a smile that could steal someone’s breath away. It was completely unexpected. “I see that I haven’t given you much to trust, have I?”

  I shook my head once.

  “I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I was traveling between covens, learning about my people when Damian found me. At first,” he paused and looked away from me. His hair moved away from his neck and I caught a glimpse of darker skin, healed skin. Then it was gone. “I thought what he was offering was a new world, a new world where Pack Law didn’t exist and wolves didn’t have to worry about rank or the ridicule that came from it. But then I saw his true agenda and I tried to run.” He took a deep breath. “I tried to run, to get to my family, I needed to notify them of this. But it was too late. Damian had used venom to change me. He forced a wolf on me and I tried to take my life after the full moon.”

  That explained the darkened skin on his neck. I pinched my lips together and looked at my clasped hands in my lap. “I’m so sorry.”

  The fork clanked on the plate. “Do not apologize unless you plan on working for him.”

  “I plan on doing no such thing. He didn’t tell me his agenda either. He just wants my help with revenge, he said.”

  Lucas leaned back on his hands. “He wants so much more than revenge, Jade.”

  Chapter 14

  Tracey

  The cottage was finished. I turned the key in the lock and walked down the newly dried concrete path that led to the Manor. The master bathroom would be constructed as soon as it was approved by Rafe, but unfortunately for me, it was the last thing on his list as Alpha.

  I knew Knox was on the prowl before he was next to me. His confused scent coated everything. His pace matched my own as he joined me on the walkway. He didn’t say anything and the longer we stayed in silence, the more confused his scent became.

  “What do you want, Knox?” My tone was soft but I was feeling anything but that. He was the absolute last person I wanted to deal with.

  “How are you feeling?”

  I stopped in my tracks and gave him a confused look. “Excuse me?”

  He took a step away from me, which was probably a good thing. “Am I not allowed to care?”

  I snorted. “Since when have you ever?”

  “Since, always?”

  I shook my head at him and kept walking. I could see Rafe’s mom, Alice, watching us through the window and the last thing I wanted was an audience when dealing with this imbecile.

  “Knox, I really don’t have the emotional headspace for whatever you have to tell me or brag about. Can we do this emotional sparring on another day when I don’t feel like the world is collapsing beneath me?”

  He had stopped walking but I didn’t care. “When are you going to talk to someone about the blame you are putting on yourself?”

  I swallowed thickly as I opened the back door to the Manor. I wasn’t that transparent. But he also didn’t deserve my response.

  “He’s right, you know,” Alice said from the hallway.

  “I don’t feel any blame,” My words were too flat for my own liking.

  “We can smell the remorse you’re feeling.”

  I sighed before I closed my eyes briefly. “What do you want from me, Alice?”

  “I want to help you feel better,” She leaned against the wall and I finally caught sight of her outfit from the shadows. She was wearing long overalls with an olive long sleeve shirt under them. Her dark hair was braided away from her face. She looked ten years younger. “Rafe won’t be approving the renovation on the cottage until you can participate in pack functions again.”

  I rubbed the back of my neck. “What kind of activities?”

  “How is your wolf feeling?” Her questions were starting to irritate me.

  She was feeling the same since the night everything had happened. She was feeling just as responsible as I was, but I couldn’t admit it because once I did, the emotions would only get stronger. They would only get worse. I chose not to answer her question till she answered mine.

  After a few seconds, she gave in. “You didn’t run on the full moon.”

  I blinked as the realization hit me. She was right. My wolf hadn’t fought to come to the surface. She hadn’t tried at all. In fact, I could hardly feel her now.

  “Sometimes our grief and guilt will kill our wolves.” Alice’s words were a whisper but they echoed in my mind as if she had screamed them. Was I killing my wolf? “There is nothing that any of us can say to make this any better, but maybe, you need to talk to Rafe about this. If anyone is feeling terrible or if anyone should be, it’s him.”

  I did the only thing I knew how to do, I ran. Away from her words and away from the pain flooding me. The only person that deserved to feel any sort of way was Rafe.

  Chapter 15

  Jade

  After almost a week of Lucas sleeping on the floor, our guard finally brought another bed in. At this point, all I could think about was what sunlight felt like on my face again. One night I woke up to the smell of my mother’s roasted tofu and I felt a feeling of homesickness I had never felt before. I had fallen asleep with a tear-soaked pillow.

  On the sixth day, the guard opened the door and allowed us to walk around the compound we were being held prisoner in. Damian hadn’t requested my presence again and I hadn’t tried to seek him out. After the last conversation I had about him, I was left unsettled. Lucas didn’t tell me any more of Damian’s plans and I didn’t ask. I didn’t think I could handle much more. All I felt was sick. Would I ever get the chance to get out? Was this it?

  The guard stayed close behind us but I no longer cared if he heard what we spoke about. If he had a wolf, as I expected, then he had heard everything else we had spoken about anyways.

  “I miss my parents,” I didn’t know where the thought came from but as of late, it felt soul-crushing. I missed them more than I had ever missed them before. I hadn’t missed them much on their trips because I had craved the peace of being alone. Now? With the thought of never seeing them again, I didn’t know how to navigate this new emotion.

  “I never thought I would miss mine,” Lucas replied back quietly. He had been permitted a haircut earlier in the day and was now sporting short curlier hair. The scars on his neck were jagged and visible now. His eyes seemed to be clearer, not so sad. “I hated them once. That was why I went to live with other covens. My father didn�
��t understand, but he had never understood who I was growing up. He had never tried to understand. I assumed he hated me and I wished I would have gotten answers before Damian got to me.”

  “How long has it been?” I couldn’t imagine wondering if my parents loved me or not. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that they loved me more than anything else. They had showered me in copious amounts of love since I could remember. I had never felt like I needed to look for it anywhere else. That was why they were so confused over my love of partying and bad boys. I didn’t have any kind of emotional trauma that explained it.

  “Ten years,”

  I stumbled. “Ten years since you have seen your parents?”

  He nodded and the sadness entered his eyes. “And my sister.”

  “I don’t have any siblings,” I admitted.

  “It is the worst and best thing that could have ever happened to me. See, my father loved my sister. She was everything I wasn’t. But she was also kind and considerate. She loved me fiercely, even though she probably shouldn’t have.”

  “How old are you?”

  “Twenty-five,” He chewed on the inside of his lip.

  “You left when you were fifteen?” I couldn’t imagine leaving my parents now, much less when I was younger.

  He shrugged like it was no big deal. I didn’t know what to say so we continued down the hallway in silence. After a few seconds, I realized we were walking in circles and we hadn’t passed by a single person. I turned to our guard and scowled. “What’s going on?”

  “Damian thought it would be a good idea for you two to stretch your legs but didn’t want you to get any ideas about escape. He had your hallway glamoured. You can walk and walk and walk but you will never get anywhere and you will never see anyone else.”