“What are we drinking to?”
She presses her lips together, then says seriously, “That Truck makes good choices.”
“I’ve lost my chance with him, Sam. Sure, he’s come to the club. but I think it’s just to show them why he can’t stay.”
Which puts my future in doubt. I’ve examined my feelings and know I could never go back to servicing all the men again, because they wouldn’t be Truck. Sure, I don’t see a future with no sex in it, but I wouldn’t be able to return to the life I lived before.
“Drummer won’t send you away. Whatever the outcome, Al.”
“You can’t say that, Sam. I don’t want to be a sweet butt, and sweet butts and old ladies are the only women here.”
“Drink up,” she instructs. Then pours two more glasses. “I can’t say I know what you mean, I was always more interested in bikes than men. I was a virgin when I met Drummer.”
It must be the drink, but I giggle. “Everyone knows that.”
“Yeah, neither Viper nor Drummer were discreet, were they? I heard all about their altercation. Unfortunately, so did everyone else.”
Altercation. That’s one way of describing it. Viper, Sam’s father who’d only just discovered he had a daughter, had decided to throw a few punches and then get into a very public screaming match with Drummer when he knew that he’d fucked her. I doubt there was anyone not aware of what had gone down. It’s another reason Drummer did well in his choice of old lady, Sam’s not fazed about it.
The prez’s old lady sips her drink, then chuckles. “Do you remember that day when this track was first completed?”
“I remember it had been hell. All those poor women.”
“We’d rescued them from the slave traffickers. That’s right, you and the other sweet butts stayed with them, but the rest of us came up here.” Her eyes glaze slightly. “Peg started it, he rode Road’s dirt bike. Looked so much fun, so everyone else took a turn.”
“But you got the fastest time.” I’d heard all about it. It had been the main topic of conversation that night.
“I did,” she confirms with a grin.
That’s something I’d missed. Club members and old ladies having fun, sweet butts not included. I wonder where I’d stand now. Forgotten or invited? Who knows?
“That was when Diva and Paige decided to join us.” Sam remembers the enjoyment, the celebration that the club had overcome the great odds they’d been facing. I remember the trauma and pain of the women who’d been rescued. But then, she’d been kidnapped and tortured. Like for the men, the task of making the dirt track look well used which had turned into a competition, was probably a much needed release.
We’re quiet for a moment, lost in memories.
Until Sam brings us back to the present. “What was it like, with Truck? Why was it different with him than the other men?”
Another drink poured and drunk, and I’m already feeling tipsy. “It was more than sex, Sam. The job of a whore is to make the man enjoy it. It isn’t so much getting pleasure yourself, but knowing you’ve given him something. Knowing, for those moments, the power is all in your hands.”
“Or your pussy,” she giggles, suggesting the drink is having an effect on her as well.
“That too,” I agree with a laugh. “The sweet butts all try to be the best. To be the one the men want most. That’s actually impossible, men have different wants and desires, and one prefers one, another another. But you get to learn what they like best, and do what you can to give it to them.”
“So, what happened with Truck?”
“It’s hard to explain. I obviously knew nothing about him. It was my first time with him, and his with a whore. But it was different. Oh, at first it started off the way I expected, but that changed. Suddenly I wanted to give him everything, that part of me I’d kept hidden.” I think back and admit to myself, I’d wanted to kiss him. “I didn’t want it to be about me having power, having a big strong man under my control. When he, when he…”
“Made you come.”
“Yeah.” I grin. “Well, it wasn’t anything I’d ever felt before. It was more than just a physical release.”
“What would have happened if he hadn’t left?” she muses.
“I’d have made a fool of myself,” I respond. “Yearning for something I couldn’t have.”
“Perhaps all things happen for a reason. I came to find my dad, and met Drummer.”
“I wouldn’t have wanted Truck to get hurt.”
“You’re coping so well, Allie. I know your heart must be bleeding for him, but you don’t show it. I think that’s probably exactly what he needs and wants. Someone to be there for him and support him, while keeping their own shit to themselves.”
That’s what I’ve tried to do.
“If Truck…” I break off. Truck’s made it clear he doesn’t want me. To him I’m just a whore. I’ve stopped going with other men, and when he knows, if that doesn’t change his mind, there’s nothing more I can do.
“If Truck doesn’t know a good thing when he sees it; if he doesn’t claim you as his old lady, Drummer will make sure you’re okay. I know my man, Allie.”
I sigh. “If Truck stays with the club, I don’t think I’ll be able to, Sam.” Even just the thought of seeing Truck take advantage of Diva and Paige hurts.
“Then Drummer will set you up somewhere else. Don’t worry about your future. You’ve given ten years of your life to the club. I know the men appreciate it.”
It hasn’t exactly been a sacrifice.
“What if…” and the idea’s so ludicrous I accompany it with a laugh. “What if I did become his old lady? How would you and the others feel about that?”
Her arm loops around my shoulder. “We’d welcome you with open arms.”
Would they? Or is that the drink talking. Somehow I don’t think it would be as easy as she suggests. She’s accepted Drummer’s past, that she’s certain he’ll remain faithful is all she needs going forward. But Sam’s special, she’s got the right attitude to be a prez’s old lady. Not everyone is like her.
“You’d rather leave the club than watch Truck with the sweet butts. You’d give up everyone else, and the life you’ve known since you were a teenager. That’s what would earn you the respect of the old ladies.”
We drink some more, but in silence. Knowing how Eli and Zane run her ragged, I reckon Sam’s enjoying some peace and quiet. Drummer’s kids, not surprisingly, are a bit of a handful. I’ve never thought of having children of my own, and it crosses my mind whether Truck might want them or not.
Why am I torturing myself? Even if he does, he made it plain it wouldn’t be with me.
“Come on.” Eventually Sam stands and holds out her hand to help me up. “I’ve got to go and see what those monsters of mine are up to.”
The sun’s going down fast. I hadn’t realised how long we’d been out here.
At her reference to her children, I comment, “I bet you miss Jayden’s help.”
“Like hell I do. But Jayden seems so happy now she and Paladin are together.”
“Yeah, what is that with everyone moving to Colorado?”
We’re still gossiping about Beef and Pal’s transfers away from the club when we reach the compound. As we go through the gate and prepare to separate to go to our houses, I see the last person I expected, leaning against my front door.
By the light spilling out through the windows, the first thing I notice is that he’s wearing his cut. The sight of this tall, still handsome to my eyes biker, makes my stomach clench. So close, but so unobtainable.
Why’s he here? To tell me he’s come back to the club? And how, if he can’t ride a bike?
Is he looking for a sweet butt to use?
Oh, God, don’t let him ask me to find one for him, or worse, ask for me to service him. I’ll happily let him fuck me, but not with the knowledge he’d then leave me, and move on to the next sweet butt’s bed.
I don’t want to fuck. I wa
nt to do something I’ve only ever done with Truck. I want to make love.
His eyes fix on me as I draw closer. I notice how good he looks with the prosthetic, you’d be hard pressed to know it’s not real. Though I can tell as the gap closes between us, there’s an emotion shining from one and not the other.
I stop, a foot away from him, my heart ceases beating as I wait to find out what he wants.
He keeps staring, unnerved, I return his gaze.
Suddenly he snarls, “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me? Why the fuck did you let me carry on believing you were a whore? Why the fuck, Allie?”
I don’t know what to say. Should I tell him it’s because that’s what he’d assumed when he used me and I didn’t want him to feel guilty?
His eyes don’t move from my face, I look away and down at my feet.
“Allie,” he says in a warning tone.
When I still don’t respond, he takes the initiative. The hardness in his face falls away, and his expression becomes softer, almost sympathetic. “Allie. There’s nothing between us, never can be.”
Each word feels like a nail being hammered into my coffin.
“I’m going to be living here, at the compound. Need to get this straight. I don’t know what’s in your head, but if it includes a house, picket fence and you and me, you’ve got to lose that image now.”
I go to tell him a lie, that I never think of him like that at all. Instead when I open my mouth, out comes the truth. “I thought we connected. That night before you left for California.”
“We fucked, Allie. It was good, yeah. But that’s all it was.”
I stare into his eyes, hoping to see a sign that he doesn’t truly believe that, but it’s clear that he does.
“Club voted to let you stay on, even if you’re not a sweet butt anymore. So you’re free to do what you want to, Al.”
The news that I’m not losing my home should make my heart dance. But how can I stay? With him living here, seeing him every day? How could I stand it? What else can I do?
Pulling myself together, I try to hide what I’m feeling. “I’m glad you’re staying, Truck.” I point to his cut. “It’s good to see you wearing that again. You made a good decision today.” For you. Not so much for me.
“Allie…”
“I hear what you say,” I croak out the words. “I’ll keep out of your way.”
“No need for that. Just wanted to clear matters up so you know how things stand. I won’t be claimin’ you Allie.”
He couldn’t make it any clearer. But best rip that band aid right off. No more hoping or dreaming of what could be.
“I hear you, Truck,” I repeat. Stupid, stupid whore, to ever think it could have been different.
He stays still, unmoving, staring again at my face. Behind me the door opens.
“Truck! You’re back!” a delighted voice says. Then, “Oh my God!”
I turn to see Pussy standing with a hand over her mouth, and her face I swear is turning green. “Your face!”
If she’d punched Truck he couldn’t have reeled more. He steps backward fast, then, without a word, spins and limps back down the track toward the clubhouse.
“What the hell?” I round on her. “Why did you have to say anything?”
Her eyes widen. “Allie, did you not see? That scarring? Fuck. And watch how he’s walking…”
My hand comes up of its own volition and slaps her around the face. “That man is a fucking hero. He knows what he looks like and he’s the one who has to live with it.”
“Well, shit. You might be able to ignore it, but if I ever have to do him, it will be with the lights off.”
Still rubbing her cheek, she steps around me and strides off in the same direction Truck had taken.
Now it’s my turn to feel sick as her suggestion rings in my ears. Truck can do anything. Fuck anyone. And I won’t be able to raise a single objection.
Twenty years in the future – Drummer
My attention is caught by a hawk flying overhead, the bird with sharp eyes, majestic and cunning. That it’s the road name of my oldest son is not a coincidence.
Peg breaks the silence. “She got him back to the club, though.”
I glance over toward him.
“Allie.”
Ah, we’re back to that now. “She did.”
Peg grins. “We gave him a hard time around that table when he finally turned up.”
“Couldn’t have given him that beatdown,” I admit. “Though he’d have taken it if that was the choice he’d have chosen.”
“Man was fuckin’ lost. Christ, he really believed he’d never be able to ride a bike. That day might be in our future, Drum, but we’re old, our bodies are wearing down, we know it’s just over the horizon, but we’ve had time to get used to the idea. To have it suddenly slammed on you? Fuck, I can understand how he was feelin’.”
“Who’s getting old? Speak for your fuckin’ self, Brother.”
Peg raises an eyebrow, his way of telling me I’m older than him. Yet the four year age difference seems to be nothing at all now. As I’ve discovered, bodies all age differently. In ways he tries to hide, Peg’s now the older man. We both wear glasses now, mine just for close work, Peg needs his all the time. I’m also sitting to his right as he’s deaf in his left ear. Yet, mostly, the passing years have been kind. As Peg points out, one day we’ll be hanging up our riding boots, but I’m hopeful we’ve still got years left in us yet.
“Truck—that first church with him in attendance. Showed what this brotherhood stands for Peg. I didn’t need to say a word, uttered no warning. No one mentioned how his face had been ravaged.”
“It’s got better over the years. Still scarred, but not so noticeable. I agree, that first day, it looked fuckin’ terrible. But we had the man there, didn’t give a damn about the body he was in.”
“You worked him hard, as I remember.”
“Nah. I just gave him some pointers. Once he decided he was going to help himself, he put the work in. Couldn’t do anything about his ankle, but he learned how to compensate. Been a fuckin’ good brother over the years.”
“I don’t think he’d have coped if he hadn’t come back to the club. That man is a team player, Peg, if ever there was one.”
Chapter Thirteen
Truck…
After sitting through that bizarre church, I had two things on my mind. One was pleasurable, the thought my brothers had forced me back to the fold. The other more unpleasant. If they had expectations about me and Allie, they had to have come from the woman herself. I had to knock any ideas she might have had on the head quickly. If I’m moving to the compound, she needed to know her place which most certainly isn’t beside me.
I decided to take care of unpleasant business first, so had gone straight up to the sweet butts’ house to find her. I didn’t have to wait long.
It had been a difficult conversation. My head said the right words, but inside I found myself wishing it could be different. If I hadn’t known anything about her, who she is and why she’s here, I might have wanted to explore what we had found that night and taken things further.
She said we’d connected. We had. It was the best sex I’d ever experienced. More than that, it was fun, we’d laughed and clowned around as well as fucked. But the thought was there in the back of my head that all she was giving me was the same as she gave to everyone. That it just showed how good she was to make me feel so special. That she’d been giving it her all as her way of providing me with a good send off.
She hasn’t been with anyone else for months. Well, that’s on her. She’ll have to end her dry spell with somebody else. That’s what I’ll be doing.
Not with that bitch, Pussy though. A grimace covers my face as I walk back to the clubhouse, while I think to myself, I really fucking hate cats.
None of my brothers had commented on my appearance, for which I’d been grateful. They had just concentrated on the things that could be improved, my leg and
my arm. I wince as I wonder what Peg’s got in store for me. I’ve no doubt he’ll be working me to the limit of my endurance, and beyond.
I pause for a moment by the railing, looking out across the compound and over to the desert beyond, lit by the light of a full moon. I can just make out the saguaro.
This is such an amazing location for the Satan’s Devils’ compound, no wonder it’s the envy of other chapters. I’m surprised Beef wanted to leave it. Still, kudos to him for becoming VP, I’d always been impressed by the man, even though he didn’t go easy on prospects.
I remember the summer before last when the view hadn’t been as good as it is now. Wildfire had swept down from the mountains. Luckily it had looped around the compound, but it had been a worrying time. It’s how I’d first come to meet the Devils. I’d been impressed by the men and intrigued by their way of life.
I’d ridden a motorcycle back before I joined the Army, and had a yearning to ride again. That became a hunger once I spent time among these men. As my firefighting crew member, Darcy, hooked up with Peg and became his old lady, after the fire Slade, my captain, me, and Hammer, my other teammate, had come to the clubhouse a few times. I’d watched, learned and asked questions. I saw the camaraderie and wanted to be a part of it.
I didn’t go into it blind. At the time I was still a probationer at the fire service, and knew all about having to prove myself. It was part of what attracted me to the club, that they didn’t take just anyone. So I became a prospect, and had no regrets.
“You doing okay, Truck?”
Drummer comes to join me as I stand leaning on the railing. “I think so, Prez. I’m grateful for in there.” I indicate the clubhouse with a backward jerk of my head. “I know that you must have warned people not to make a big thing of my scars.”
His steel grey eyes narrow. “I didn’t say a fuckin’ word. Didn’t bother anyone enough to comment on it. It’s you we wanted to see sat around the table. Don’t give a damn about what you look like.”
“Can’t really miss it, though.” I indicate the left side of my face.
Truck Stopped: Satan's Devils MC #11 Page 12