“Probably looks and feels worse to you, Truck. Not minimising what you’ve gone through, but hey, you’ve got a few scars. Think most of us have, though they’re not as visible as yours.” He too, stares out into the distance. Then having dismissed the subject as though it’s of no importance, moves on. “Thought you could move into one of the suites that Viper and Bullet’s crew have just done up.”
The suites here are permanent accommodations for the single brothers. Men with old ladies are occupying the houses at the top of the compound, except for the few who live in town. “One of the crash rooms would be fine for me, Drummer. I don’t need much, just somewhere to lay my head while I’m working with Peg to get some strength back on my left side.” If that’s even possible.
“Nah. Still enough single men around who want to party, you wouldn’t get much sleep in the clubhouse, Truck. Take the suite. It’s unfurnished so you can move in whatever you want to bring with you.”
The suites are nice. Fuck, I’ve been in enough of them before stocking up bedside tables with condoms and cleaning up after the brothers. There are two to each bloc, and they all come with ensuite bathrooms. Not much smaller than my apartment, except I wouldn’t have a kitchen. But there’s a big enough one here, and meals are cooked for everyone. The concoctions the women come up with copying Ma’s recipes are tasty. Sandy gets them to try out new meals before she puts them on the menu at the Wheel Inn. On those nights what’s dished up isn’t far off gourmet food. My stomach rumbles at the thought.
“Okay, Drummer. I’ll take a suite. It will only be temporary, mind you. I’ll get some of my shit together and arrange to have it brought here tomorrow.” I pause, then bring the elephant up. “We have to accept I might not be able to ride again, even with a modified bike.”
“You will.” There’s no room for doubt in his voice. It also sounds so much like an order, it makes me smile.
I better get back home. Today’s been a lot for someone who’s done nothing for months, and my leg in particular is starting to ache. Taking my phone out of my cut, I hold it up. “Going to try to persuade an Uber to come here and drive me back into Tucson.” Allie would have given me a lift had I asked her. I shake my head. Can’t ask her for anything now. Not even a favour.
“Fuck that. You’re a member. Get one of the prospects to take you tonight, and collect you and bring you back tomorrow.”
I hadn’t thought of that. I give a wide grin at the reminder I’m on the other side of the shit now. It feels good. Of course I can order them to do anything I like. Clean my fucking apartment while they’re at it. Maybe not that, but they can certainly carry the heavy shit out in the morning.
“I should have come back earlier.” I was a fool to keep away.
“Nah, don’t second guess yourself like that, Brother. You needed time to get things straight in your head. You’re here now, and that’s all that matters.”
“So what have I missed since I’ve been away? Club seems quiet.” By that I mean there was nothing raised at church which suggested trouble was on the horizon. “I notice Fergus seems pretty comfortable sat around the table now, and Matt’s been given his patch as well.”
“Fergus is now Drifter, and Matt seems to have picked up the handle Sharp, he was only patched in a week or so back. As for quiet? That’s the way I like it. But there’ll be something around the corner. Always is. So, what have you missed? You already know Mouse found himself a woman. Remember you looking out for Drew her teenage brother.” He snorts. “Kid wants to prospect for us, Mariana isn’t having it.”
My eyebrows rise. It had been strange when Mouse found someone, the computer guru always seemed more interested in computers than women. Drew though, well, I suppose I didn’t know him long enough to realise he was that enamoured of the club. Maybe I could support Mariana’s cause by explaining a few facts of the prospecting life. “Anyone else got an ol’ lady?”
“Blade.”
“Blade?” I’m stunned.
“Yeah. He’s with Tash. Oh, and have you met Tommy?”
“Yeah, he’s another of our prospects. Not that he’ll ever get patched in.”
I turn quickly, expecting to see a look of disgust on the Prez’s face that a new prospect is clearly failing to make the grade so soon.
But Drummer is grinning. “Tommy is special.” He taps his head. “Blade found him on the streets along with his old lady. He’s an overgrown kid, but we’ve all taken to him. Does the grunt work without complaining.”
Hmm. I’ll be interested to meet him. I suddenly grin. “Another reject from society?”
Prez knows exactly what I mean as he chuckles. “Yeah, he fits right in.” He thinks for a moment. “I think that’s all that’s happened, apart from Beef, but you just heard all about him.”
Mouse, Blade and Beef, all found old ladies while I’ve been gone. Is there some sort of disease going around?
But Blade? Never thought I’d see the day when he was brought to his knees by a woman. I’m quite looking forward to meeting her. As well as this strange Tommy.
“Marcia’s pregnant, again. They’re not sayin’, but I reckon it might be another set of twins.”
I bark a laugh. “Place is getting overrun with ol’ ladies and children.”
Drummer gives me an unreadable look. “Nothing wrong with that. Nothing like settling down to steady a man and give him reasons to live for.”
Is that what’s missing in my life? Someone to come home to. Someone waiting for me, and only me. Do I ever want children? I’m thirty now, maybe I should think of settling down. With a good woman. But even if I had such yearnings, where would I find one? Anyone worth their salt would take one look at my face and run a mile. The only type of woman who’d want me is one who was desperate, maybe not so hot in the looks department herself. No beauty would want to tie herself to a beast like me, nah, I’m part of society’s rejects, my only potential partner would probably be one as well.
The picture of Allie, looking so beautiful wearing that dress and watching the sunset comes to my mind. Another image quickly chases it out. That of Road pounding into her as she lay sprawled over the pool table.
“I’m going up to the house. Go find one of the prospects and tell them what you need.”
I jerk my chin as Drummer walks off, and turn to go into the clubhouse. Hound—I’ve got which prospect is which sorted out in my head now—is picking up empty glasses, but Roadkill seems to be just hanging around. As I cross the room to him, I think how glad I am that Matt’s been patched in. It seemed so unfair I got my Satan’s Devils insignia prior to him.
Matt had already been prospecting when I first came to the club. We’d worked well together, always rushed off our feet but still sparing time to joke while we were doing the shitiest jobs. He’d done his time and more and deserved to be recognised. Fergus, well he’d prospected nearly a year and then had to leave the club to look after his dying mother. He’d been patched in a short time after he came back. It’s my fault I know none of the changes, I was the one who’d kept my distance. Drifter and Sharp, not Fergus and Matt, I remind myself. I’ll have to do my best to remember.
Roadkill stands at my approach. “You need something, Truck?”
“Lift back to Tucson. Tomorrow you’ll come back and pack up my stuff.” I think what I’ll need to take. “Bring Hound too.”
He agrees without comment, already having learned not to question a member.
As I follow him down to where the cars are parked, shrugging off my cut ready to get into a cage, I realise this was not what I was expecting a few short hours ago. I’m filled with warmth at the thought of being a Satan’s Devil again. I’m almost giddy at being accepted as a full member, never having expected to take a seat around the table.
The vacant seat. It’s hard to get my head around that Beef’s gone. Still, good for him to get that promotion. And that news about Mouse and Blade? While I’ve been wallowing by myself, seems I’ve missed one fuck of a lot
happening in the club.
Roadkill doesn’t drive as cautiously as Allie, and I find myself reaching for the oh-shit handle a couple of times. I don’t want to distract him, not at the speed he’s driving. But when we enter the city and he slows down, I at last ask the question that’s been niggling at me.
“Roadkill?”
He doesn’t pretend not to understand. “I got pretty hammered one night. Next morning I was puking my guts up. My roommates said I looked like something that had been run over by a truck. Started calling me Roadkill, and it kind of stuck.” He grins, showing he doesn’t mind. Then, explains why, “Better than some of the shit my other friends got stuck with. Rather be Roadkill than Shitface. And please do not ask how he got landed with that.”
Grinning I heed his warning, though can’t stop my mind thinking about the possibilities. None of them good.
“See you tomorrow. Ten sharp.” We’ve just pulled up outside my apartment.
“We’ll be here.” He waits for me to clamber out, and then drives away.
It’s strange, opening the door to an apartment I’m about to leave. For good? I’ve no way of knowing. I’ll continue paying rent until I know whether I can ride or not, but if I can, I wouldn’t mind a permanent move to the club. My home, which had felt a refuge since I left rehab, suddenly seems silent and empty. Today has shown I’m a person who likes people around me. Well, those who don’t make a show of looking at my face.
What’s not to like about living at the compound? It’s rent free, there’s an onsite gym and swimming pool, sluts on call whenever I want them. Not Allie, though. She’s not a working girl anymore.
Which could be a problem, I muse, frowning. My cock jerks at the thought of sinking into her tight cunt again, and doesn’t twitch when I think of any of the other three.
I shake my head. It’s probably that I had to face her today that has her on my mind. That extraordinary revelation earlier means that I can’t think of fucking her again. She’s not a sweet butt any longer, so going back for another go around might give her ideas, like the shit Drummer voiced about me claiming her. It’s a shame, as I like her. She’s kind, supportive… but she’s been fucked by all of my brothers. Whores do not become old ladies.
I set down my keys and wallet, and reverently place my cut over the back of a chair, staring at it in wonder. Never thought I’d feel the weight of that leather again. Soon, maybe, I’ll feel the vibration of an engine under my ass, and see the pavement whizzing past beneath my wheels. Something flickers in my chest, and I realise what it is. My heart, beating with hope and optimism.
I feel hyped up. Should have stayed at the clubhouse. But habit brought me back to seek the isolation I’d come to want. Suddenly I want someone to share my good news with. Someone who would be as happy for me as I am for myself. Someone to blow away the doubts that I won’t succeed.
Damn it. I want Allie. Not just for sex, for her company.
Chapter Fourteen
Allie…
“Truck’s come back. He’s going to be moving his stuff into one of the suites. Maybe Beef’s? Well, not the one next to Rock’s, Becca and Rock are using that for Hope until their own house is finished. I wonder which they’ll be putting him in…”
I tune out Diva’s voice. I thought nothing could be worse than Truck flat out saying we had no future together, but I’d been wrong. I thought I could forget him, get over him, but not only has he returned to the club as a full member, he’s going to be living on the compound as well.
“You went with him, didn’t you, Allie? What’s he like? Big man like that has got to have a big cock. He know what to do with it?”
I want to punch her in the face for even talking about him. Everything she’s saying strikes me like daggers straight to my heart. What’s it going to be like to watch him going with any of the whores? Or, late at night when the old ladies have gone and I’m still minding the bar, will I see him fucking in the open?
Why is it when you’ve lost something, you realise how much it meant? I knew I liked Truck, but now that there’s not even the slightest hope lingering, I know I was already in love. Am in love, I correct. And there’s nothing at all I can do about it. Watching him with the other girls, that’s going to be enough to kill me.
“Well?” Diva prompts, in a tone that makes it sound like she’s asking a very reasonable question.
It’s not that she’s not. Any other man, any previous time, we’d be sharing experiences. Maybe a warning that someone likes something in particular, so it doesn’t come as a surprise. Laughing with the comparisons of who dresses to the right and who to the left, who’s pierced or circumcised. But this is Truck she wants to know about, nobody else.
I grit my teeth and tell her, “It was so long ago I’ve forgotten. You’ll probably find out for yourself.”
“I’m sure I will. It will make a change to have someone new. Maybe Paige and I will try to tempt him tonight.”
I can’t bring myself to tell her to go for it, so I turn and walk out, not having the faintest idea what I’m going to do, but I just want to get out.
I close the front door behind me, then just stand with my hand over my mouth, feeling physically ill at the memory of the conversation I’ve just had. I’ve no doubt Truck will find his night sorted, only too well aware that in the past I, like the others, had targeted the men we wanted for the night. Going with someone you preferred was one way of avoiding those you didn’t enjoy so much. Blade, now, for instance. He used to frighten me when he got out his knives.
“Allie? Have you got a moment?”
I’ve got hundreds of them. “Sure, Prez. What can I do for you?”
“Follow me.”
Without checking I am, he strides off. He walks past his house, past Wraith’s, and down past the first couple of blocs containing the brothers’ suites. He stops at the third which houses the one Beef had moved into allowing Rock and Becca more space. I know it well, having been here in my professional capacity a time or two before, until Beef met Sally and got involved. When he walks up to the main door, I see him bouncing keys in his hand.
“Shouldn’t be in too bad a state. Viper’s been doing the suites up as brothers have moved out. But still, it hasn’t been used for a while. Not sure what a mess it will be inside.”
I’m not a sweet butt anymore. Is he going to ask me to do some cleaning instead? I suppose he’s in his right to ask, I’ve still got a club-provided roof over my head after all.
The thought hits me making me smother a gasp. Is he going to ask me to get it ready for Truck? If he did, would I mind? I decide not. Why should I resent doing something for the man, even though he’d rejected me?
He opens the door, then stands back and waves me on inside the small hallway. There are two doors leading to two suites. One to the left, one to the right. It smells of fresh paint. He turns a key in the lock of the one on the right, and then waves me on inside. It’s got basic furniture, a bed, small table, desk and wardrobe. The floor is tiled, and there’s a gentle whirr of an air conditioner. It hasn’t been used for a while, and everything is covered with a layer of dust.
Drummer glances around and frowns. “Well, what do you think? Of course I’ll get the prospects to clean it.”
If he’s going to ask the prospects to make it presentable and not me, why has he brought me here?
My brow creases. “Drummer, you’ve lost me. What do you want me to do?”
He turns and those steel-grey eyes settle on me, they look softer than normal. “You’re not a sweet butt anymore. Thought you might want to get away from the whores. This suite is empty, we’ve got to the point where we’ve got plenty spare.” He pauses and shrugs. “You’ve heard Truck’s moving back to the compound?”
I nod.
“Yeah. Word travels fast.” His expression doesn’t show whether he’s pleased or worried by that. “Thought you might like your own space while Truck gets himself sorted.”
The thought of not bein
g faced with Diva, Paige and Pussy, or having to deal with their questions about Truck is welcoming. More than that, I no longer feel inclined to take part in the type of conversations which often arise, such as Dollar’s particular partiality.
But I have to come clean. “You know I had personal reasons for trying to get Truck back to the club, Drummer.” Part of me wonders if I hadn’t encouraged him, would I have been able to develop our friendship without him being reminded every day what my prior occupation had been. If Truck had never returned, would there have been a better chance of a future for him and me?”
I look down for a second, admitting a man like Truck needs something more than a woman beside him, he needs his team. If I’m brutally honest with myself, I could never have been enough. Shit is what shit is, and I’ve just got to deal with it.
Drummer’s been waiting patiently for me to verbalise my thinking.
“Truck doesn’t want me, Prez.” At last I explain and shrug. “I’ve got to make plans to leave the compound. So is it worthwhile moving? And anyway, this is a member’s suite.”
Of course, the alternative to living with the sweet butts is to take over one of the crash rooms, but I’d rather not have to do that. Don’t want to hear Truck getting his needs seen to next door.
“Allie,” he sighs, waving me toward a bare but new looking mattress. I sit. He props his foot on a chair and leans his hand on his knee. “Suites are standing empty, you, I suspect, would like to get away from the sweet butts while you get your head straight about what you want for your future. I know this isn’t much and you’ll need some shit. I’ll give you a small budget and you can sort it how you want.”
A tempting idea, but I have to tell him, “I wouldn’t be here long. I can’t stay. But I would appreciate some space to decide what I’m going to do. I don’t want to walk out of here homeless and without a job, else…”
“Else you’d end up doing what you did before.”
Yes. That’s the problem.
Truck Stopped: Satan's Devils MC #11 Page 13