Savage Love

by Bloom, Penelope

  By the end of the hour, I was wishing Zoe would come rescue me, but she and Marcus were thoroughly absorbed in a conversation on the other side of the room.

  I took a deep breath and slapped my knees awkwardly when Hugh finished his sentence. “Well, it was really awesome to meet you. I came with a couple friends though and should probably make sure they’re all doing okay.”

  Hugh grabbed my wrist and pulled me back to the couch we’d been sitting on. Except he pulled me into his lap, where he wrapped his arms around me, letting one of his forearms rest right under my breasts.

  My heart felt like it wanted to stop, but I tried to stay calm. I pulled at his arm, prying it off me and stood. He reached up for my ass, and I only barely managed to move my hips out of the way at the last second.

  I swirled on him, ready to unleash a verbal torrent, but I decided the smartest thing to do was lose him. I needed to get outside and get some fresh air, and it wasn’t worth making a scene over some pervy asshole, anyway.

  I left him sitting on the couch and headed out. It appeared the growing cold of the night had driven almost everyone inside, because there were far fewer people outside than before. I took a quick look around for Clint, who I suddenly wished I could find.

  Once I decided he wasn’t outside, I headed back in the house and started pushing my way through the crowded rooms. I managed to get beer and liquor spilled on me a few times and had to push off a few drunken advances from guys I didn’t recognize.

  I felt claustrophobic. Like I wanted to run outside and never come back in this smelly, stupid party. But I didn’t have a ride without Clint. I also suspected all my friends wouldn’t be ready to leave after an hour.

  Upstairs, I stuck my head in a few rooms and tried a few locked doors. Eventually, I found an empty bedroom and let myself inside. I locked the door behind me and lay down on the bed. I could just text Zoe and ask her to come get me before she left, I decided. Maybe I could sneak in a nap despite the booming music and roar of voices.

  The door opened a few moments later. I shot up. Hugh towered in the doorway. He let his head lull to the side, making no secret of where his thoughts were as his eyes moved up from my feet to my eyes. “You’re right. It was time to find a spot where we could be alone.”

  I scurried off the bed and tried to rush past him. He planted his arm on the door in my way, then lowered it and pushed me back when I tried to duck beneath it.

  I was about to scream when I saw Cassian appear behind Hugh. Even though he hadn’t made a sound, Hugh seemed to sense Cassian’s presence.

  Cassian thrust his hands in his pockets, watching calmly.

  “The fuck you want, Stone?” Hugh’s voice was a growl. I was sickened to think of how it made me think of a dog snarling at another dog who was eying his food bowl.

  “Don’t mind me.” Cassian sounded disinterested. “You’re welcome to my sloppy seconds.”

  Hugh gave me an appraising look, not completely taking his attention from Cassian.

  “And half the school, actually. She has been making the rounds through the guys at Parker. I guess that’s why she’s looking at Calvary, now. But hey, you guys will roll over for us in the playoffs if half your team is brimming with STDs, right?”

  I wanted to bite out a response and call Cassian a liar, but I could see the gears turning in Hugh’s head. He eyed me again, pressing his tongue to the inside of his cheek as he considered me. “You’re not worth it.”

  “Yeah, no shit,” I said shakily.

  He gave Cassian a look, as if waiting to see if Cassian was going to take a shot at him. But Cassian just slid his broad shoulders out of the way and let Hugh leave.

  I gave him a look. “If you’re waiting for me to thank you, don’t count on it.”

  “Oh, you mean you didn’t actually want to fuck him? Damn. I was trying to ruin that for you.”

  Without another word, Cassian wandered off.

  I sat down on the bed again and looked down at my hands. They were shaking. Because I knew how close I’d just been to having something terrible happen to me.

  I stared at the doorway where Cassian had been. A knight in shining armor, he was not. If anything, it felt more like being tangled in a deal with the devil, where everything had a hidden cost. All I could do was sit and wonder how long it’d be before he tried to collect the debt he thought I owed.

  21

  Cassian

  I raked my hand through my sweat soaked hair, then stripped off my pads and jersey. It was cold, but my body roiled with heat. Logan stopped me before I went to jump the fence and head toward where Charli was practicing her sprints with Zoe.

  He wore a crooked grin but said nothing.

  I shifted on my feet in annoyance. “You going to eye fuck me, or tell me what you want?”

  “I’ve just never seen you with a thing for a girl before. Waving your dick around like a lollipop for the taking? Maybe. But this is different.”

  “The only thing I have for Charli is this thing where I want to make her suffer.”

  “Yeah, I already know what excuse you’re telling yourself. I’m just saying it’s cute, Stone. You’re like a lovesick puppy. Looking over toward their practice every few minutes while we’re running drills. Jogging over there the first chance you get when we’re wrapped up. God knows what fucked up stuff you’ve done at your house. You probably drilled holes in her walls to peep on her, didn’t you?”

  “Are you done?”

  He shrugged. “Am I keeping you from your girlfriend?”

  I stepped forward and gave him a hard shove. Logan played running back, like me. Something about the position trained you to be steady on your feet, and he was one of the few people who didn’t go to his ass from a well-placed shove.

  He looked down at his chest where I’d pushed him. “Practice is over, Stone. Or did you want to start something real?”

  “Up to you. Are you done being a nosy bitch?”

  He chuckled, shaking his head. “You’re such a hothead, man.”

  “And you’re here provoking me. Does that make you a dumbass?”

  Logan had the kind of face girls swooned over. His eyelashes were so thick they were almost feminine, and he had thick lips I’d heard girls raving over in the halls. But I knew he wasn’t as hard as he let on. If I pushed him hard enough, just like everyone else, he’d falter. Nobody was ever willing to go as far as I was.

  Sometimes, I wanted to be pushed. For someone to give me an excuse to lose it.

  Logan finally took a step back. “As much as I’m sure you’d love to get your hands on me and sneakily grab my ass, I’m going to pass on the scuffle. I’ve got a date tonight, anyway.” He punched my shoulder.

  I gave him a nod, letting him go.

  Across the field, Zoe and Charli were the last ones still practicing, which was their usual routine. I knew I had about five minutes until Clint finished up his swim practice and wandered his soft ass out to watch her—probably just so he could google her ass in those tight shorts.

  I admired her technique as I approached. Just a few weeks ago, I’d thought she ran like a newborn giraffe. Now, I watched her lift her admittedly exquisite ass in the air. She had her right hand planted on the ground with her fingers splayed. Her left was cocked up at the elbow, ready to start pumping. She looked so determined, like her life depended on the speed of a practice sprint.

  Grudgingly, I had to admit I admired that. I felt the same way when I practiced football. I let my world fold in when I was on the field until all my problems shrank down into the people across from me. Until there was no issue I couldn’t simply lower my shoulder and power through.

  Zoe shouted, “Go!”

  Charli exploded into a sprint, arms and legs pumping. Her head strained forward as she ran, like every muscle in her body was desperate for an extra drop of speed.

  I’d seen Zoe run, and Charli still wasn’t a match for her. But she’d gotten better.

  I waited for her t
o notice me as I stood with my arms folded across my bare chest. The cold air was already starting to dry the sweat from me.

  Zoe eyed me. She planted her hands on her hips, emphasizing how broad and strong she was for a girl. Muscles stood out on her arms that a lot of guys probably would’ve been jealous of. “Do you have to?”

  “No.”

  Charli noticed me, then. She was dripping sweat and her skin looked more pale than usual. She planted her hands on her knees, bending down as her chest heaved. “Get a life, Cassian.”

  “I’ll take yours, if you’re offering.”

  Zoe made a disgusted noise. “Could you please just go back to screwing your way through the female student body of our school? Charli is perfectly happy to leave you alone. You’re the one who keeps forcing her into your life.”

  “What made you think I want her to leave me alone?”

  Charli looked up, but she seemed a little off. Then she suddenly lurched as a mouthful of vomit rushed out of her mouth.

  I raised my eyebrows. “I’m flattered. I don’t know if I’ve ever made someone vomit before.”

  She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “That you know about.” Charli looked like she wanted to say more, but then she staggered backwards and fell on her ass. Her eyes were unfocused.

  “Fuck,” I grumbled to myself. I went and scooped her up under her arms, helping her to stand.

  Zoe tried to peel my arm away. “Get off her!”

  “She’s dehydrated and her blood sugar is probably tanked.” I considered dropping her to the grass to prove I didn’t give a shit if Zoe wanted this to be her problem. But I didn’t feel like arguing. “You can help me carry her, if you want.”

  “I hope I puke again.” Charli’s words were slightly slurred. “I’m going to get as much in your ear as I can.”

  “That’s wonderful.” I tried not to notice the way she felt under my arm. Small and fragile. Like something I could break if I wasn’t careful. Except that’s exactly what I wanted, wasn’t it? I wanted her to shatter into a million pieces, and death by dehydration wouldn’t be as dramatic a finale as I wanted. That was all.

  Zoe came on the other side of Charli and took her other arm. We ended up with Charli’s arms around our shoulders so we could walk her upright back toward the school. The height difference between Zoe and I meant I had to clutch onto Charli’s side to keep her from sliding off me. I’d caught little whiffs of her smell around the house—like a velvety phantom that haunted me. It would drift in my nose when I stepped out of my room, or I’d catch it as I headed down the stairs.

  I could say what I wanted about Charli, but she smelled delicious. My nose was practically getting assaulted with it as we headed toward the cafeteria, and I had to mentally block it out.

  The cafeteria wasn’t open for students to get food this late, so I had to jump one of the counters and raid the fridges in the back to find something to feed Charli. I handed a sugary juice, a banana, and a pre-packaged peanut butter and jelly sandwich to Zoe. “Make sure she gets all this in her system. Then try to get her to drink something once she’s done.”

  Zoe glared. “I know what to do for someone who is dehydrated.”

  “Spectacular. Then do it. And if she dies, I’m holding you accountable.”

  Charli was laying her head down on the table in her arms, groaning. She probably had a bitch of a headache, too.

  I was about to leave when I saw Clint come jogging toward the cafeteria from outside. Pathetically, he had his shirt off, as if he’d literally rushed out of the pool to come dote over Charli at practice. Except I saw right through his BS. He just wanted to show off for her.

  With an annoying little tug of awareness, I scratched at my bare chest, then cleared my throat. Without taking my eyes from Clint, I bent down toward Charli. “Remember what I said. If you don’t handle your little puppy dog soon, I’ll do it for you.”

  She might’ve been out of it, but that got her attention. It also earned me the glare I’d been waiting for.

  Part of me hoped she’d defy me. If she didn’t break things off with Clint, I was going to finish what I started. I didn’t give a shit if it dug me in a hole so deep even Walter and his money couldn’t dig me out. All I knew was she’d either learn to accept I’d won, or she’d learn to accept it the hard way.

  22

  Charli

  We arrived at the game a little after it started. We could hear the voice from the broadcast booth echoing across the parking lot as the four of us headed toward the stands. Clint slid his arm around my shoulder and pulled me in to his side. He shot me a carefree smirk, not letting me go as we walked, even though I kept awkwardly losing my footing because of the way his arm pulled me sideways.

  Zoe snuck me an expectant look. She didn’t need to say a word for me to know exactly what she was thinking. How long are you going to drag this out?

  Inwardly, I sighed. It was never going to be a good time, was it? The problem was I really believed Cassian. I believed he’d hurt Clint if I gave him any reason to.

  “Hey, Clint?” I said quietly. He slowed, letting Zoe and Clint’s friend, Matt, walk ahead some so we could talk privately.

  He laid his forearms on my shoulders, threading his fingers playfully behind my neck. “What is it, babe?”

  Babe? Part of me wanted to scream. How did it go from me not knowing if we were even boyfriend and girlfriend to pet names? “I think we need to stop hanging out.”

  His eyebrows twitched together, then he laughed. “Is that a joke, or…”

  “I’m serious. I have feelings for someone else, and it’s not fair to you.” I hadn’t planned what to say, and distantly wondered if I was actually telling him the truth, as crazy as that was. Did hate count as feelings? Because I definitely had heaps of hate for Cassian, even if they sometimes got tangled up and confused with the signals my body sent when he was around.

  “Who is it?” He’d taken his arms off me and was standing stiff now. The muscles on his smooth jaw ticked as he clenched his teeth again and again.

  “Nobody you know. It’s just… You’re a really good guy, and you deserve someone who can give you all of themselves. Not just parts.”

  “Is it Cassian?”

  “What? No. It’s—”

  “Because you’ve been staying at his house. Are you two screwing around? Is that it? Has he touched you?”

  “No. And I don’t appreciate your tone, either.”

  Clint threw his hands up, walking in a slow circle before turning and jabbing one arm in my direction. “You don’t appreciate my tone? Sorry, Charli. I don’t appreciate getting led on, getting my ass kicked, and then getting told you’ve been screwing around behind my back.”

  “If you’re going to keep making up some version of how this happened, then there’s no reason for me to keep talking.”

  “Charli…” He reached for my hands, suddenly softening his voice. “I’m sorry, I—”

  “No. You’re right. You shouldn’t appreciate this. And you shouldn’t forgive me. I’ll find my own ride home, okay? I really am sorry, Clint.” I made myself walk away and brush past Zoe and Matt, who were watching with interest.

  “Charli?” Zoe called.

  “I’ll catch up with you.” I said, feeling my voice threatening to break. I quickly paid for a ticket to the game and took a seat in the Calvary section of bleachers. I didn’t want any of them to come try to talk me down or ask what had happened.

  I sat in a section mostly dominated by faculty, parents, and young kids, hoping to disappear for a while.

  It was only when I looked out toward the field that I realized Cassian was out there. I hadn’t even thought about it when I agreed to come tonight. I imagined we’d spend our time standing by the fence, hanging out, and eating cheap hamburgers. I tried not to look for him, but I scanned the sidelines. Parker was on defense, and it didn’t take long to spot Cassian. He was taller than almost everyone on the team, except for Logan and Tri
stan, who stood at roughly the same height.

  Cassian’s helmet was off, and his hair was a sweaty mess. He gripped the collar of his pads, and I couldn’t help noticing how his bare, tanned stomach was visible under them. I could see the dark line of muscle forming a “V” from his pelvis, even across the field.

  Stop, Charli.

  I put my hands over my eyes and looked down, promising I was just going to watch the game. But when I looked back up, it was at him.

  And he was looking straight back at me with a knowing twist of his lips. He blew me a kiss, then trotted out to join the offense as they took the field.

  I hated that I blushed.

  I actually blushed.

  And then I watched him. In fact, I found it almost impossible to take my eyes off him once I saw him play. There was so much anger and ferocity in the way he carried the ball. I watched play after play of Tristan Blackwood handing the ball to Cassian. Every time, the sound of him colliding with the opposing players was like thunderbolts.

  The more I watched, the surer I was he didn’t care about the game. He probably didn’t even know the score. All Cassian wanted was the impact. He wanted that moment of collision. Of his will meeting another will so he could continue proving his was the strongest.

  A little before halftime, a player from Calvary caught Cassian from the side and knocked him out of bounds. The refs blew their whistles, but the player gave Cassian an extra shove while he was off balance, forcing him to crash into a table full of drinks.

  Within seconds, chaos broke out. Half the Calvary players were shoving and pushing, and the entire Parker team was charging toward the melee. I saw Cassian in the center of it all. He ripped off someone’s helmet and started punching.