Savage Love

by Bloom, Penelope

  My head.

  It ached, and when I put my hand there, I felt a lump already forming.

  “…to the hospital?”

  “Fuck, no. We…”

  I blinked a few times, then realized I was in the back of a pickup truck. The trees and stars passed by overhead, and I briefly wondered if I was in Clint’s truck again, heading to the party at the log mansion.

  No… That didn’t make sense.

  Someone—Marcus, I thought—dragged me under the arms and set me down in a parking lot. I slumped backwards, lifting my head to see where I was. But moving my head made it feel like it might explode, so I set it back down carefully and rolled my head to the side.

  Hospital.

  Oh. That was good.

  I closed my eyes, distantly hoping nobody decided to park their car on my head once I passed out.

  * * *

  A steady, electronic beep rang in my ears.

  I stirred, sitting up quickly and wincing because it felt like I had the hangover of the century once I moved. I looked around the room, blinking while the memory of what happened flooded back to me.

  I was in a hospital bed, and I nearly passed out from shock when I saw Cassian Stone looming in the corner of the room, watching me.

  He took a half step toward me, then hesitated. “You’re up.” He seemed to settle for trying to sound disinterested, but he was here. He’d come to the hospital and he’d been waiting for me to wake up, hadn’t he?

  “Worried somebody else would get the satisfaction of killing me first?”

  He flashed a rare half smile at that, then moved to sit in the armchair beside my bed. “Something like that.”

  “My knight in shit-stained armor. I’m honored.”

  “They say it’s a concussion.” Cassian reached and softly lifted my hair to touch a tender spot on my scalp. “As long as you don’t drop more shit on your head in the next few days, you should be fine. And you’ll need to take it easy. I’ve had a few of these myself, believe it or not.”

  “When can I get out of here?”

  He shrugged. “That depends if you want to get out the proper way, or if you want me to bust you out.”

  I laughed at that. “Busting me out of the hospital sounds like a convenient way to off me. How do I know you’re even telling the truth about my condition? What if I’m terminal. Just minutes to live…”

  His lips twitched, almost like he wanted to smile again. When he flicked his eyes up to meet mine, I felt my stomach clench and grow hot. God. If he’d been on the Titanic, he could’ve saved the whole ship if he’d just looked at the iceberg like that.

  “I don’t want you dead. Remember? I decided your next punishment is falling for me. I just need to make sure you don’t hit your head on the way down.”

  I rolled my eyes. “You would be a shitty comedian.”

  “Among other things.”

  “Boyfriend. Friend. Son. Teammate. Should I keep listing things you’d be shitty at?”

  “No. You should list the names of the guys who did this to you.”

  I looked down, then shook my head. “I don’t need you to save me, Cassian.”

  “It’s not about saving you. It’s about punishing the people who deserve to be punished.”

  “Yeah? Like how you’re punishing me for the sake of your father? Or how you probably punish yourself for the sake of God knows who? When does it stop, though?”

  “Maybe it doesn’t.”

  “And what will be left of you? The punisher?”

  He shrugged. “If you don’t want to tell me, I can figure it out for myself. I already have a pretty good idea.”

  I hoped he was bluffing, but I also had a sinking feeling that nothing in Silver Falls could stay hidden from Cassian for very long.

  I tried to reposition myself on the bed to get more comfortable. That was when I realized my bare breasts were pressing against the thin hospital gown. It was cold, too, and I had no doubt the peaks of my nipples were showing through the thin fabric. As if reading my mind, Cassian’s eyes fell to my chest, then he smirked. “The outfit suits you.”

  “Shut up.” I pulled the blankets up to my neck. “And you know, you keep talking about me falling for you, but which one of us showed up at the hospital and waited like a concerned puppy?”

  His jaw twitched. “All I heard was that you were in the hospital. It could’ve been serious.”

  “And you were worried about me?”

  “I’ve invested my time into you. Into seeing this thing through a certain way. And I was concerned that my time might be wasted if you croaked.”

  I did my best impression of a frog, which earned me a disgusted sigh from Cassian. He stood, checking his phone. “I’ve got to go meet Sophie. And my parents are out of town for the next few days, so they can’t pick you up when you’re done. If you need a ride…”

  I raised an eyebrow. “You will be the last person I call. Don’t worry. And by the way, if you really wanted to trick me into falling for you. Being single would be a good start.”

  He stopped at the door and watched me with those biting blue eyes of his, then left.

  I sank back into the bed and stared at the ceiling. Not that long ago, I’d known what I wanted. A normal life. Friends. Maybe a relationship before I moved on to college or whatever came next. I thought I wanted the kind of life I saw the girls in movies and shows get. Kisses on the nose and sweet notes slipped into my locker.

  Except the more Cassian sunk his teeth into me, the more I found myself drawn to his darkness. He was selfish and possessive and rude. But he was absolutely fixated on me like nobody in my life had ever been. I hadn’t realized it all at once. The looks during his football practices. The way he made a point of coming to harass me at track or at his house. The relentless way he made sure nobody else could have me.

  He treated me like something valuable and precious.

  The only catch was he didn’t want me to cherish. I wasn’t going to wind up in his trophy case or lovingly admired every day.

  Cassian wanted me so he could throw me to the ground and watch me shatter to a million pieces. He just didn’t want anyone else to put chips or dents in me. Only he got to damage me. To destroy me.

  I was dumb and stubborn enough that I wanted to change his mind. I should’ve been thinking of a million different things, like maybe even trying to start patching things up with my dad. Instead, all I wanted was to prove Cassian wrong.

  For once, I wanted someone to admit it wasn’t my fault. None of it was.

  25

  Cassian

  I opened Charli’s door without knocking and found her on her bed. She was lying on her side so her faded pajama bottoms hugged her ass and gave a clear view of the line of her panties. I leaned in the doorway, watching her while she still didn’t know I’d come in.

  “Room service.”

  She jolted, then turned around and looked at me with wide eyes. She hadn’t put on makeup and her hair was flat on one side of her head. Seeing her with her guard down made my dick twitch, and I had no idea why.

  She made me crazy. That was all I knew. She made me want to break things—including my own rules. I underhanded a brown paper bag at her. It hit her in the forehead with a soft thud and bounced into her hands.

  With a glare, Charli peeked inside. “A hamburger? At nine in the morning?”

  I shrugged. “Your call. Starve or eat.”

  She set the bag on her nightstand and sat up, crossing her legs. She didn’t bother to fix her hair, but she did tug at the section near her scar to make sure it was still covered. “Three days ago, I got a concussion. You showed up at the hospital because you claim you didn’t know how serious it might be. But then you stayed and waited for me to wake up, even when you knew it was just a concussion.”

  “Just a minor swelling of your brain, you mean? No big deal.”

  “And now,” she continued as if I hadn’t spoken. “You’re bringing me food and you haven’t
even tried to make me cry in days. Should I be worried about you?”

  A few biting comments were on the tip of my tongue—bullshit like how I didn’t want to break her while she was weak or how it’d be more fun to let her get her strength back. But that’s what it all was. Bullshit.

  I walked into the room and sat in the chair by her desk. “I got a concussion freshman year. I don’t even remember the hit. But nobody told me it was a big deal, so I still tried to go to school. I acted like shit was normal, and I ended up puking my guts out every night for a week and having the worst headaches of my life. I wouldn’t even wish that on my worst enemy. In other words, I wouldn’t even wish it on you.”

  She grinned at her lap, nodding. “So there’s a heart in there, after all?”

  “A fucked up one. Yeah.”

  “Cassian…”

  Something in her tone set off warning bells. I stood, moving to the door. “Save it.”

  “No. I want you to know I’m sorry for what happened that night. I don’t agree with the way you see it, but I am sorry for what happened.”

  “When ‘sorry’ starts bringing back the dead, let me know, maybe then that’ll mean something.”

  She stood, then her eyes fluttered, and she sat back down.

  I swore to myself then went to ease her back down. “You should be lying down, dumbass.”

  “You’re such an asshole,” she said quietly.

  “And you’re the world’s shittiest detective if you’re just figuring that out.”

  Charli laughed softly, then pulled a blanket over herself.

  I stood there for a few moments, then tugged at the bottom of her blanket so it’d cover her feet. “Can’t even put a blanket on properly.”

  “Can’t even pretend you aren’t worried about me for a full minute.”

  Her eyes were closed, but she was full on smiling now.

  I turned my back and then smiled, too.

  Fucking Charli Rhodes.

  26

  Charli

  I knocked twice, then waited. I almost lost my nerve and ran before he opened the door, but something made me stay put.

  My dad stood in the doorway, looking down at me with an emotionless expression.

  I gestured vaguely inside. “I heard you didn’t end up losing the house.”

  “Carl pulled a favor. Said he’d give me a month’s advance on my pay.”

  “You got your job back?”

  My dad nodded. I noticed he looked more put together than usual, too. His hair had been washed and his eyes didn’t have that glazed over, tired look that I’d become so used to.

  “Heard you were staying at some rich asshole’s mansion.”

  “Something like that.”

  We both stood there, neither of us knowing what to say.

  My dad shifted, then took a half step toward me like he was going to try to hug me. I stepped back, holding my hand up. “No, dad. I didn’t come here to—” I closed my mouth.

  “I don’t expect you to forgive me, Charli. But you walking away was a wakeup call for me. I made Jacobs at the bar promise he wouldn’t serve me, no matter how bad I begged. Then I went around it and hit up the gas station. So I made the people there promise they’d cut me off, too. I made an ass of myself for a few days, but it worked. I haven’t touched the shit in fourteen days.”

  What? It didn’t feel like my brain was ready to process the idea of my dad trying to fix himself. I’d resolved myself to his downward spiral and eventual crash-landing years ago. “That would be a start.” I knew I wasn’t being encouraging, but I didn’t have it in me. I couldn’t just throw away a lifetime of baggage because he’d finally shown some self-control for two weeks.

  “What happened… It broke me, Charli. I never wanted for things with us to get the way they were.”

  “You think I came out of it okay?” I didn’t mean to yell, but the idea of him trying to excuse himself for what he’d done in any way sparked an immediate fire in me. “Do you think little girls whose last memory is of their mom trapped on a bed surrounded by fire turn out great? And do you think they have especially good chances if their dad is a coward and hides in a bottle of liquor for ten years?”

  “Charli…”

  “No.” I shook my head. “I took it. I took all your shit, and I took it for way longer than I should’ve. Always asking me if I turned the stove off? Like you could blame the fire on me? I was seven. When did I ever use the stove? You’re the fucking smoker who likes to fall asleep with his—”

  “Now you watch your mouth, Charli. I’m still your father.”

  “Are you?” I took a step back. “Because if I made a list of things fathers are supposed to do for their daughters, I think I’d have trouble checking any boxes for you.”

  “Charli.” His voice carried a warning, but it didn’t hold the same menace it used to. Instead, it sounded like a scared, weak man who was desperate to prove he still had control over something in the world. Except I was done playing that part for him.

  “I thought maybe I could come here to start forgiving you.” I curled my lip and shook my head. “But, no. All I can see when I look at you is the coward who made a little girl his scapegoat for ten years. You don’t deserve to be forgiven.”

  He deflated a little, but there was still a determined look about him. “I’m going to do my best to change your mind.”

  “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

  * * *

  Dead Ringers was as busy as ever, but it felt a little strange to be there after missing the past few days of school. I had no idea if any word of my hospital trip would’ve passed for juicy rumor material. Apparently, my split with Clint did, though. A few guys from the swim team shot me cold looks on the way in.

  I also noticed Tristan, Logan, Gage, and Kennedy were all sitting in the bed of Logan’s truck in the parking lot while a crowd of hopeful girls lingered nearby, as if hoping to be invited to the inner circle.

  For the most part, it seemed like business as usual.

  There was no sign of Cassian, but it wasn’t like I was looking for him, either. He’d been less of an asshole ever since my concussion, but he was still Cassian.

  I found Zoe in the corner with a milkshake in her hands. She smiled up at me and gave me a quick hug. “Feels like it has been forever.”

  “I know.”

  “How is quarantine with the king of the assholes treating you?”

  “Not as bad as I expected. It’s not like he’s making me breakfast in bed, but he sort of makes sure I have what I need in his own way.”

  “In his own way? What does that mean?”

  “Like I’ll find a bottle of headache medicine beside my bed if I leave it somewhere else in the house. Or there will just happen to be takeout food I like left in the fridge. Or when I got up in the middle of the night to pee, I could’ve sworn I heard his door open. Like he was waiting to make sure I was okay.”

  Zoe was frowning. “None of that sounds very conclusive. Are you sure it’s even Cassian doing that stuff?”

  “His parents have been out of town the whole time. It’s just us. And yeah, I think his dick code prevents him from being seen worrying about me. So he’s going to great lengths to take care of me without making it obvious.”

  She took a sip of her milkshake, then set her palms on the table and met my eyes. “You know Clint still isn’t over you, right?”

  “What?”

  She shrugged. “I wish he was, no offense. He told me he doesn’t really believe you don’t like him. He thinks Cassian is putting you up to it, somehow.”

  I groaned. “Why can’t he just let this be easy?”

  Zoe wore a serious expression. I hadn’t realized I’d been collecting small bits of evidence over the past few weeks, but they came together in a flash of insight. Zoe liked Clint, didn’t she? It’s why she was so protective of him and so insistent that I do the right thing and tell the truth. I wanted to go back in time and slap myself for being suc
h an idiot. I’d been stringing the guy she liked along because I was too much of a coward to admit my heart—against all reason and good sense—was hung up on another guy. “What are you going to do?”

  “The right thing. If he tries to talk to me about it, I’ll tell him the full truth.”

  “And what’s the full truth?”

  I picked at my fingers, trying to find the right words.

  Zoe’s eyes narrowed. “Wait. You’re not actually into Cassian, are you?”

  “No. I mean, I don’t think so. And if I am, I wish I wasn’t.”

  Zoe theatrically thumped her forehead against the table and let out a low moan of frustration. “Do I need to talk you off the ledge? Do I need to remind you that he embarrassed you in front of half the school on your first day back? Or that he nearly killed a guy because he thought you liked him? Or that he calls you Scarface and he’s manipulating and controlling you?”

  I sighed. “Got anything else? Because I remember all of it, and it’s not helping.”

  “You’re hopeless, aren’t you?”

  “I just keep thinking there’s something else to him. Like, I don’t know? Maybe the kid I grew up with is still in there. But he’s hurting, so he pushes everyone away. And maybe what he really needs is someone to put up with him long enough to get through his armor?”

  “Is he worth all that?”

  I sank back in my chair. “I don’t know. All I know is that it doesn’t matter how much I try to talk myself out of it. There’s just this thing about him. Like a chemical reaction, I guess. It defies all reason, because no matter what he says or does, I still come alive when I’m around him. He makes everything else feel less, and it wouldn’t be fair to be with someone like Clint if I was still thinking about Cassian, right?”

  “Yeah.” She looked conflicted, but I thought I could sense a little relief in the way her shoulders relaxed. “But you should tell Clint sooner, rather than later. I think he’s planning some sort of romantic gesture to prove he’s not scared of Cassian. Something dumb to win you back.”