by Hope Hart
After that, as Meghan would say, all bets are off.
I have never before been this tired, but I cannot sleep. I understand why Meghan asked if she was dreaming. Logically, I know that we made it off that hell planet. That our lives are once again ours. But I am still unwilling to close my eyes. I am almost convinced that I will wake up and see my mate once again in that cage, the light in her eyes growing dimmer by the day.
“Shhhh,” Meghan murmurs, although I haven’t said a word. “Sleep.”
I nod against her shoulder and close my eyes.
Meghan
I wake up surrounded by Methi’s scent, feeling him hard against my butt. My hormones roar to life, and I stretch. I have a brief memory of shuddering awake at one point, gasping for breath after a nightmare until Methi rocked me back to sleep, his low growl like a comforting purr.
I want to feel something, anything other than hopelessness or rage. I need to feel alive.
I slide my hand back and feel Methi suddenly still behind me. He catches my exploring hand in his and rolls me onto my back, frowning down at me, eyes hot.
“We do not need to do this now,” he says carefully.
“I know. I want to. We still haven’t um—” I glance at the bands on my wrist, and Methi’s eyes follow mine.
“I do not believe this is a good idea.”
I’m immediately, unreasonably, and completely furious.
“You want to wait? Let me guess, I’m still too young, right? Six months in a cage wasn’t enough life experience? You know, I’m eighteen now. Your promise to Harlow has been fulfilled,” I spit.
Methi frowns down at me like he doesn’t recognize me, and it just makes me even more furious.
“Let me go.”
He opens his mouth but I don’t want to hear it.
“Let me go, let me go, let me go,” my voice is rising, and I know I’m being completely crazy, but I can’t help it, and everything is painful and everything sucks and I feel like I’m still trapped in that cage, hearing it close behind me again, and, again, and again—
“Breathe.” Methi orders, tone hard, and I realize I’m hyperventilating, gasping for breath.
“Again,” he says, and I comply, trying to slow my breathing, to grasp some thread of sanity.
Tears are dripping down my cheeks, and he leans down, kissing each one away.
I’m immediately exhausted again and welcome the numbness when it reaches for me.
“It is not your age,” he says, and I simply shake my head.
“Let me go,” I say again, and Methi raises his head, searching my face for something. Whatever it is, he’s unlikely to find it.
“Please.”
He nods slowly and releases my wrists, rolling off me as I swing my legs over the side of the bed. He holds out his hand, and I grasp it as I get slowly to my feet and wait for a moment. My chest aches, but it no longer feels like I’m being stabbed every time I move.
“What is it then?”
He’s silent, and his face looks like he’s being tortured.
I turn, and he reaches out to grab me, but I pull away, tears streaming down my face.
I unsteadily make my way toward the bathroom, my bladder ready to burst, and find the Princess sitting in front of a window in the small corridor, the scars on her ruined wings stark in the light.
We sneer at each other and I keep walking, finding the bathroom and using the water to give myself a quick scrub.
I open the door and walk straight into a pair of wings, which extend at my scream. I punch and claw until the owner of those wings spins, shock written all over his face.
And then Methi’s there, pushing me behind him as he growls in fury, shoving the Lahmu until his wings are trapped against the wall.
“Speak,” Methi says, voice shaking with rage.
“Talen?” the Princess appears, her lips bloodless as she stares at him.
“Saria,” he nods at her, and then sends me an apologetic smile.
“I did not mean to frighten your mate,” he says to Methi.
“Ignore her theatrics,” the Princess says. “She is weak.”
Both males stare at her and she shrugs, even as her eyes meet mine and she raises one eyebrow.
I straighten my shoulders and shove my way past Methi.
“I’m sorry for my overreaction,” I say. “My experiences with your people haven’t been the best.”
“Of course, no need to apologize. It is I who should apologize. I was ordered to travel with Saria.”
Saria. A pretty name, and I realize I’ve never once heard anyone call her by it. I’ve always thought of her as ‘the Princess’ or ‘that bitch.’
“By whom?” Saria’s voice is razor-sharp, but Talen simply raises his brow.
“By the Queen.”
What little color is left in her face disappears at the mention of her mother, and I wonder if I’ve got it wrong. If maybe they couldn’t afford to be seen as even friends. If it was too dangerous for them to form even the slightest relationship.
Her chin rises even higher, even as she swallows back whatever she was going to say. Instead, she simply nods and walks away.
Methi is not happy at this new development, and he’s eyeing the Lahmu as if considering the many different ways he could kill him. Talen eyes him right back. If we were in an open space, a fight between them both would be close. In tight quarters? Those wings become a liability. My money would go on an Arcav anytime.
“I swear,” Talen says. “I don’t wish you or your mate any harm. I was sent as protection for Saria. Her mother knew she wouldn’t allow anyone to go with her, so she ordered me to hide until we were off the ground.” His mouth quirks. “I fell asleep or I would have introduced myself sooner.”
This is the most words I’ve ever heard a Lahmu say.
“I should kill you,” Methi says, and I almost get whiplash as I turn to him.
“That’s not necessary,” I say softly. “I believe him. If he wanted to hurt us, he could’ve attacked us while we were sleeping.
Methi narrows his eyes at the Lahmu, obviously considering his options. To his credit, Talen is making an effort to appear as unthreatening as a six-foot-something guy with wings can, looking back at Methi placidly.
“Harm my mate in any way, and I will destroy you,” Methi finally says. “I will never forget what your people did to her.”
I flinch, and I’m back in that cage, staring out at the world as it goes on without me.
“I need to find something to eat,” I mutter as I walk away. “Save the fighting for when we land.”
Chapter Eighteen
Methi
The urge to complete our mating is almost overwhelming. I do not want my mate to feel as if I have rejected her, but I am unsure what to say. It is as if the unfulfilled bond is tired of being ignored, and I’m beginning to feel whispers of her emotions, something that is unheard of until the mating bond has been completed and the bands are silver.
“I can feel your lust, you know,” Meghan says from her spot by the window. The Princess has found another window closer to the ship’s exit, and the stowaway Lahmu disappears for hours, before pacing the ship, his wings rustling.
“I apologize.”
Meghan shrugs, keeping her gaze on the darkness through the window.
“I offered,” she says tonelessly. “You declined.”
I narrow my eyes at her back.
“I would like to talk.”
She turns, forcing a smile, and I growl.
“What’s your problem?” she asks.
“Tell me what I can do.”
“To do what?”
“To earn your forgiveness.”
Her mouth drops open. “Forgiveness for what? Do you honestly think I blame you for any of it?”
“I failed you!” I roar, guilt coursing through me like a river of lava. “You needed me to secure your freedom and instead you spent months in that cage!”
She gives m
e an exasperated look as if she has no time for my outburst, and I want to shake her. Where is the female who would throw her head back and roar with laughter? The one who would fight for anything she wanted?
“What do you want?” She snaps, and something lightens in me at the hint of life in her voice.
“I want my mate back.”
I immediately regret my words as tears fill her eyes and she blinks them away.
“I’m right here, Methi. You just can’t seem to see me.”
Meghan
I don’t know how to explain to Methi that I’m okay in a way that he’ll understand. I know I’ll have to work to overcome what I’ve been through, but all I want to do is embrace my freedom and live my life… with him.
“May I join you?”
I turn as the Lahmu slowly approaches, giving me time to adjust as he pulls his wings in close, likely well aware that they freak me out. I know if I say no, he’ll simply shrug, give me that half-smile and walk away, and I blow out a breath, annoyed at myself for hesitating.
“Sure.”
He sits next to me, careful not to crowd me, and we share a companionable silence for a while.
“What made you leave?” I ask him, keeping my attention on the window.
“My Queen asked. I would deny her nothing.”
I raise an eyebrow and turn to face him, and he smiles sadly.
“She is more than the fragments of her that you got to see. It is only due to her commitment and bravery that we are all here now. If not for her, my people would have fallen into despair centuries ago.”
“That wasn’t despair?”
He bows his head, brow furrowing sympathetically.
“You saw the worst of our people. It may be difficult to believe after what you’ve experienced, but there are many, many more of us that would never consider caging and hurting another being.”
“You’re damn right it’s difficult to believe.”
He laughs softly. “I don’t expect you to believe me now. I just hope that one day I can prove to you that not all Lahmu, or even all Nirex are the monsters you have seen.”
“I’d like that.”
“We will be on your planet soon, correct?”
“It’s not really my planet,” I say, and explain the Arcav and human matings. His eyes widen in either fascination or horror when I describe the way Korva tinkered with genetics, ensuring that humans would be a match for the Arcav.
“Such technology and intelligence seems impossible,” he says finally. “Of course, our King kept us from any such opportunities.”
I nod. “First rule of enslaving the masses, huh? Keep them ignorant.”
“That’s right.” He examines me. “You are wise for one so young.”
I sigh. “I get that a lot.”
“Do you have siblings on Arcavia?”
“Nope. Me and mom were super close though. It was just me and her until the whole mating thing. To be honest, it kinda grossed me out.” I wrinkle my nose. No teenager wants to think about their mom and the word mating in the same sentence.
“But Arax is a great guy. I don’t see him much— we tend to all live our own lives. Mom’s a therapist and she’s pretty busy helping the humans transition into life on Arcavia. At least she was until I disappeared. God knows what her life is like now.”
I’m back to being depressed until Talen nudges me with his wing. I jolt and peer up at him.
“I’m sure she will be proud of you for surviving all that you have survived,” he says.
“I hope so.”
“I will go find some food. Would you like me to bring you something to eat?”
I remember Methi’s vow that once we were mated, no other man would ever take me out for dinner or dancing. Of course, that was before.
“No, I’m fine, thanks.”
He smiles again and wanders off, his wings tight against his back.
“Sulking again?”
I turn and bare my teeth as Saria approaches.
“What do you want?”
“To be able to walk this tiny ship without your depression wafting my way and ruining my mood.”
Don’t strangle the Princess, don’t strangle the Princess.
“Ruining your mood? Maybe the fact that your mother’s probably dead right now might do more to ruin your mood. But then, you don’t exactly care, do you?”
Her eyes darken dangerously, but I don’t care. She can’t hurt me anymore.
“You know nothing. Less than nothing. You lived a dull life on a fair planet, where power is shared. You and your mother were super close,” she says, no shame at all on her face for eavesdropping my discussion with Talen. “Then, you were taken to an even better planet, where you found your mate.”
“And then you happened,” I say softly. “You and your father.”
She doesn’t look at all repentant. “You were soft and shiny. The universe has a way of breaking the soft and shiny. You should thank me for dulling that shine before someone took it forever.”
“Don’t pretend like you tormented me to help me.”
She raises an eyebrow. “Did you never notice how my father ignored my favorite toys?”
I begin thinking back, and then shake my head in exasperation. There’s no excuse for the way she treated me when I couldn’t fight back. None.
She sneers at whatever she sees on my face.
“Let me give you a piece of advice. Bitterness will eat you alive and spit out your bones. It will turn you into someone you would never recognize, someone who you would never befriend. Consider whether this is something you want before you allow your rage to take over your life.”
“The way you have?”
She smiles, and I realize that she’s stunningly beautiful.
“Exactly.”
Methi
I watch my mate walk into that cage, and I am roaring at her to stop moving. But she cannot hear me. The cage door slams shut behind her and she turns, her face bone white as tears fill her eyes.
“This is your fault,” she says, and I fall to my knees.
I jolt awake, conscious of Meghan also awake beside me. She had been sleeping when I joined her, desperate to see for myself that she was safe.
It will be better when we are back in Arcavia. She will be surrounded by highly trained Arcav.
The thought of other males keeping her safe makes me want to snarl, and I take deep breaths as my claws extend.
This is for the best.
The digital clock on the wall tells me I have been asleep for less than two hours, and it is unlikely that I will get more tonight. I sit up, and Meghan says nothing as I get to my feet. If she was a cruel female, she would ban me from her room entirely.
I would simply sleep on the floor outside her door.
I frown, unsure whether to attempt to talk to her. Meghan makes the decision for me, rolling over and giving me her back.
I do not know where to go from here.
I did everything right. I worked harder than anyone, building my honor from nothing. I made it onto my Queen’s guard so that my future mate would be protected and thought highly of. And then I left her because I did not have the strength to keep my hands off her. I abandoned her, and my brave mate came after me, risking her life for a coward who trusted the wrong male.
Then, I made a stupid mistake. A mistake that will haunt me for the rest of my days. I did not check the fuel, and my mate was imprisoned.
I wonder if everything came down to fate. Fate telling me that I reached too high. Perhaps it was all punishment for daring to think that a bastard could be worthy of her.
Now, she no longer talks to me, responding to my questions in one-word sentences and occasional shrugs. She may have thought she wanted to mate, but I am terrified that I will put more fear in her eyes.
I sigh and get out of bed, stepping out into the corridor, where the Lahmu male is sitting by the window.
“I have never seen such a view,” he says softly. “
I don’t think I will ever get tired of this sight.”
I nod, and he turns his head, raising an eyebrow.
“Women trouble?”
I shrug and sit beside him. I do not like the Lahmu as a race, but this male has not shown any signs of being a threat to my mate.
If he does, I will end him.
He eyes my claws as they extend and tuts sympathetically. “Women have a way of putting that look in a man’s eyes. Did she tell you it’s over?”
“Did no one ever teach you to mind your own business?”
He smiles. “I don’t know if you noticed, but there is little to do in the mountain.”
I nod. With little else to do on Huldra, even the male Lahmu gossiped, trading information as currency.
“I am trying to show restraint.”
He raises an eyebrow. “Did she ask for this restraint?”
“She is…not well. I am giving her space.”
He sighs. “You know, most women tend to get annoyed when their men try to make decisions for them.
I frown. This has been our problem all along. The push-pull, power struggles, and my attempts to shelter her. Meghan probably still believes that I do not see her as an equal.
“You have given me things to think about.”
Meghan
Methi is no longer sleeping. Whenever I wake up in the middle of the night, I find him also awake, staring at the door as if ready to attack anyone who dares to approach.
After my fumbling attempt to convince him to make love to me, I’ve kept on my side of the bed, unwilling to face even more rejection.
Saria clears her throat delicately from behind me. I’m once again in front of my window, and she’s once again prowling the ship.
“What do you want?”
“To get off this ship. You have your freedom, infant, yet you are still unhappy. What do you want?”
“How about the six months of my life that were stolen from me?”
“You can’t have them,” she snaps. “What do you truly want, human?”
I glare up at her. “To turn back time and stop all of this from happening.”
She bares her teeth in a smile. “No you don’t. I know you well by now. You found strength you didn’t know you had. You changed. You survived. You would never exchange the woman you are now for the child you were. So why don’t you be honest with me?”