by Hope Hart
She winks at me like we’re just two girlfriends chatting over happy hour.
I glower at her, returning my attention to the deep black through the window. Would I turn back time? Go back to the cocky, insecure, rash teenager who thought she knew what consequences were? The one who thought the worst thing she could lose was her future career?
No. I’ve shed that girl like a snake shedding its skin. I learned that life isn’t fair, and that true growth comes from your worst moments- the moments you think might just break you.
I could never have been with Methi as the girl I was, I realize. He was right to leave me, even if I didn’t agree with it at the time. Like it or not, but six months in that cage gave me a maturity growth spurt I don’t think I could’ve found anywhere else.
“No, I admit. “I wouldn’t take back any of it.” Because I’m truly ready for a life with Methi. As the woman I am now, and not the girl who threw a tantrum when she lost her friend.
“I didn’t think so.”
I turn back to her. “Why do you care?”
Saria raises an eyebrow, staring down at me imperiously. “Why would you assume I care?” She runs her eyes over me, the expression on her face making it clear that she’s not at all impressed by what she sees.
“If you’re planning to seduce the Arcav, at least brush your hair.” She walks away, leaving me frowning after her.
Seduce the Arcav?
I instantly push that idea away.
He didn’t want you, remember?
Then I push that thought away too. That’s the thought of a child.
I blow out a breath, thinking logically. I’d just been stabbed in the chest, Methi had been awake and on edge for two days straight, and we hadn’t even had a chance to talk. I’d wanted Methi to make me feel something, to take the pain away, to let me use him.
My cheeks burn. He’d known. Known I wasn’t ready, was trying to numb the pain with sex. And he hadn’t wanted our first time to be that way. Just one night before, I’d actually accused him of enjoying life while I was in that cage. Then, after he tried to gently suggest we wait to have sex, I’d had an epic panic attack, further proving that I was a wreck.
Then what had I done?
Withdrawn, refused to talk, and acted like a child.
I bury my face in my hands, ashamed.
Now, I’m gradually driving Methi away, leaving him feeling like I don’t want him when really, all I want is him.
He didn’t want to bone the morning after we escaped six months of imprisonment, and I decided that it meant he didn’t want me. That he would leave me. Because of my stupid insecurities.
My father left. He walked away, and that’s on him. It had nothing to do with me. Somehow, being stuck in that cage, forced to watch Methi walk away again and again, took me back, to that little girl begging her dad to stay with her.
The difference? Each time Methi left, it killed a piece of him. I watched it happen, and I can’t imagine the strength it took to leave me there while he searched futilely for a way to get us off that planet.
Methi would never leave me by choice. He’s proven it time and time again. He deserves more from me than the bitter person I’m at risk of becoming.
I’m not the girl Methi once knew, the peacock strutting around, unaware that the universe was full of wolves waiting to tear off my feathers and shove them down my throat.
Now I’m something better.
And I’m going to give him all of me.
Chapter Nineteen
Meghan
My hands are shaking and my heart is pounding like a drum in my chest. So much depends on this moment, and I have no idea what to say.
I find Methi in the control center, staring out at the impenetrably black void, lit with the warped shapes of stars against all that darkness.
“Hi.”
He turns, eyes wary, and I wonder if I’ve broken us. But his lips quirk up at the corner and he gestures for me to take a seat.
“Hi,” he says as I sit, and I blow out a breath. The ball’s in my court.
“So listen, I think we need to talk.”
Methi leans back, nods, and gestures for me to begin, his face blank.
“I owe you an apology.”
He frowns, opening his mouth and I hold up a hand.
“No, really. I’ve been…difficult to live with since we left. Instead of talking about how I felt, I tried to numb it and then got pissy when you wouldn’t play along.”
My cheeks are burning, and I stare at the floor, even as Methi moves closer. He kneels down in front of me, and I meet his eyes, mouth dropping open at the warmth I see there.
“I know,” he says gently. “Are you ready to talk about it now?”
I nod, biting my lip, and he picks me up, retaking his seat and positioning me so I’m sitting on his lap, facing him.
“I can’t stop thinking about the other people in those cages,” I say. “Even if they were released, what kind of life will they have now, on a planet that’s not even theirs?”
“I feel the same. I am sorry that we could not do more for them. At the time, all I could think about was getting you out of that cage. But I promise you, we will take the Princess to Varian, and he will send forces back to Huldra.”
I nod, and we sit in silence, Methi patiently waiting.
“I’ve changed, Methi. I might never be the girl you knew before you left. But I want you to know that I really am okay. I want to be with you.”
Methi smiles. “You are still the same person deep inside,” he says with a certainty I don’t feel. “And even if you were not, I would love every part of you anyway. If you are ever not okay, I want to be the first to know.”
My heart stops. “You love me?”
He takes my shoulders and shakes me gently.
“I have loved you from the moment I saw you. You think I do not remember you with Harlow when the Grivath attacked? I could think of nothing else.”
My heart may just jump right out of my chest
“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
He sighs. “You are a reward that I have not earned. And I am terrified that the cosmos will realize it and take you from me.”
I frown at him, reaching up and stroking my hand along one horn as he closes his eyes.
“We’re okay, Methi. We made it out.”
He’s silent for a long moment. “I never told you about my father. Perhaps I never would have.”
“Is this the whole bastard thing? Cause dude, that’s not really a thing where I come from.”
“Not really a thing?”
“Yeah. My parents weren’t married. Do you think any less of me for it?”
Methi’s horns straighten and he bares his teeth as he stares down at me.
“Of course not.”
“So why do you think less of yourself?”
“It is…different on Arcavia. Children are celebrated and it is rare for mates to have more than one. My father was not a male of honor. He would have ruined my mother if he had not been killed, and I have his blood in my veins. I tried to leave to protect you, and all it did was put you in more danger.”
“You’ve got to cut yourself a break, Methi. You’ve got nothing to prove. And even if you did, the fact that you managed to keep me alive and in one piece through a rescue, a space fight, a crash landing, ands six months of captivity proves it all, don’t you think?”
He smiles. “You make it difficult to argue with you.”
I shift, and Methi’s hands tighten on me for a moment before he lets me go.
“Come with me,” I say.
He gets to his feet and I take his hand, leading him back toward the medi-center. My stomach clenches nervously, and I bite my lip, almost shaking with anticipation.
I lead him into the medi-center and wait silently while he takes in the room.
I’ve taken the blankets off the bed and found more, hidden away in one of the boxes in the food storage area. I’ve created a ne
st on the floor, padding it with thick blankets and pillows. Talen also helped me find some lamps, which I’ve set up around the room, giving it a warm glow.
Methi turns to me, eyes dark. “You undo me,” he says.
“I um… found some food if you’re hungry?”
He slowly shakes his head, still looking at me, studying my face as if it holds the answers to the universe.
“Tell me,” he says simply, and I blow out a nervous breath.
“I love you too,” I say. “I love you so much, that you were the only thing that got me through my time in that cage. When it got really bad, I’d picture your face, and think about the life we could have together if I only made it through the next day, and the next. I didn’t step into that knife to die. I didn’t know it at the time, but something in me knew that it was our only way out of there.”
Methi’s face hardens. “Never again,” he says.
I shake my head. “Never again. I understand why you left, and I apologize for not understanding sooner. I want to be with you. I’m sorry for pushing you away.”
He steps closer, cupping my chin in his hand. “You are magnificent,” he says. “I will spend the rest of my life making sure that you do not regret trusting me with your heart.”
He kisses me so tenderly that tears well in my eyes, and then he kisses them away too, brushing them off my cheeks with his mouth. He holds me like I’m something precious, like I’m breakable, fragile.
And then the kiss changes, and he moves closer, cupping the back of my head as I thud against the wall. He lifts me, and I automatically wrap my legs around his waist, grinding against him as I gasp against his mouth. Then we’re moving, and he places me gently on the ground, leaning over me, his lips against mine the entire time. I groan at the feel of his hard body above me, and just like that, I’m desperate with need.
“Methi…”
He growls quietly and nibbles down my neck, and then my shirt is gone, his claws ripping it to pieces in the blink of an eye.
I smirk at him. “Having control issues, General?”
He ignores that, and I shiver as his eyes linger on my naked chest. My nipples tighten in the cool air, and he watches avidly, even as I squirm.
“Methi…”
He leans down, his hands sliding over my breasts, the callouses on his palms scraping along my nipples and I shudder against him. Within a moment, he’s naked, and I take a second, pushing him a little further away so I can stare at him.
He squares his shoulders. “Like what you see?”
Methi gives me a shit-eating grin as I run my eyes greedily over his body. I gulp as my eyes reach his cock, and nerves hit me for the first time.
“You think it’ll fit?”
His smile softens and he leans forward, nibbling along my neck.
“Not only will it fit, but it’ll make you feel better than you’ve ever felt in your life.”
Well.
I arch an eyebrow as he pulls off my pants, and then I’m surrounded by his body, his skin warm against mine. After so long without any physical contact, it feels almost overwhelming, but I clutch his shoulders, desperate to keep him close.
He lifts me to my knees and focuses his attention on my right breast, the heat of his mouth doing crazy things to my stomach. I’m so wet I almost blush as Methi’s hand moves lower, and he groans against me as he finds that spot that drives me crazy.
I’m writhing against him, almost there when he pulls away, ignoring my curse.
“You will come with me inside you,” he declares, rising above me. I wrap my legs around him, and he slowly thrusts inside me, shaking with effort as he takes his time.
“Just do it,” I tell him, and he shakes his head, gritting his teeth as he reaches that barrier inside me.
He pulls back slightly, and as he gently pushes forward, I push my hips up, gasping at the pain even as he freezes.
It doesn’t feel good anymore. In fact, I may throw up from the pain.
Methi stays completely still. “Are you okay?”
“Give me a moment.”
His face is pained, and he begins to pull back, unwilling to hurt me further. I hold his shoulders tighter.
“Don’t move.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
I shoot him an exasperated look, but I’m not sure what to do. It hurts like a bitch. In fact, it feels like I’ve got a hot poker buried between my legs, and I no longer feel in the mood at all.
Methi studies me and then seems to come to some decision. He leans down and kisses me deeply, stroking his tongue with mine as his hands play on my breasts. A tiny spark of pleasure comes to life, and he brings his hand lower, flicking lightly against my clit.
I gasp and he raises his head, still shaking with effort as he stays still.
“Move,” I tell him and he shakes his head.
I squirm against him and he growls, but it no longer hurts, I just need him to…
“Move,” I order again, and he finally nods, thrusting back inside, even as his hand works my clit. The universe could explode and I wouldn’t notice. There’s only me and him, building to a smooth rhythm, each of his thrusts lifting me higher, my body tightening, shaking, reaching for something…
I cry out as a cascade of pleasure hits me, and Methi immediately shudders, emptying himself. He stays inside me, rocking gently, and I shake through the aftershocks.
“Wow,” I say.
He lifts his head and grins at me, and I pull him down for another kiss. I can feel his satisfaction, contentment, joy, and we both take a moment to study the intricate silver mating bands on my wrists.
“Mine,” Methi says, eyes dark.
I smile. “Yours.”
Epilogue
Meghan
I’m sitting on Methi’s lap in the control center as we debate what we’ll eat first when we finally get back to Arcavia.
We’ve decided that I’ll move into Methi’s quarters in the palace as soon as we get back. Even though I was desperate for adventure, and I’ve grown up through all the challenges thrown my way, I’m looking forward to just spending time together with my mate.
“What are you thinking?” Methi whispers in my ear.
“I’m thinking that I can’t wait to start my life with you.”
He nips my ear and I shiver, even as he takes my hand. Something cool touches my finger and I look down as he slides a small metal ring onto my ring finger.
“What’s this?”
I can feel his nervousness down the mating bond, even as he gives me a shy smile.
“I made it out of pouq. I will, of course, buy you a real ring when we land. But for now, it would honor me if you would wear this.” He reaches up and strokes my hair back from my face. “I want you to have every experience, both human and Arcav. Will you be my wife as well as my mate?”
My eyes fill with tears, and then I’m laughing and nodding, and kissing Methi like crazy.
Beep Beep Beep
We both jolt and pull apart as the communicator sounds, even as a ship appears in the distance.
I’m instantly flooded with terror, but I push it down, even as Saria and Talen appear behind us.
“Who is it?” Saria snaps, her voice pure ice.
Methi presses a button, and we all sit, frozen as we wait.
“This is General Roax of the Arcav forces. Please state your name, planet, and flight path.”
“Roax?” Methi’s voice is hoarse, and I almost burst into tears as I feel his shock and hope down the bond.
“Methi? Gods, is it really you?” His voice firms. “Pull into our dock.”
The ship gets closer and my shoulders slump in relief as the SSA Crystal comes into view. An Arcav ship. A huge Arcav ship with actual showers, good food, friends, and a direct trip home.
We’re rescued.
I stare at it numbly, almost unable to believe it. But Methi is getting to his feet, spinning me in his arms, and his joy is so all-encompassing that I can’t
help but laugh out loud. He drops me to my feet, kisses me, and then he’s guiding our ship into the SSA Crystal’s dock.
Saria and Talen are tense, and I can’t blame them. They’re about to be even more out of their comfort zones.
I’m shifting from foot to foot at the entrance of our ship as the huge doors open, revealing the inside of the SSA Crystal. We fly in, waiting for the doors to close behind us so we can move into the dock. The dock doors open and we land, and I’m laughing and crying as I jump down the steps, giving Roax the biggest hug ever.
Methi appears behind me. “Take your hands off my mate,” he mock growls, and Roax’s eyes widen as he takes in my mating bands.
“We have a lot to catch up on, I see.” Roax stares behind us, taking in Saria, who gives him a cool nod. His mouth drops open. “Lahmu?”
“It’s a long story,” I say. “Tell us everything that’s happened.”
Roax grins, leading us out of the dock. “The King and Queen have been tearing this galaxy apart looking for you. We will contact them immediately, along with your mother,” he eyes me. “She has always insisted that you were alive, even as we went months without any leads. Now we can tell her that she is right.”
I grin back. “Who else is on this ship? Is Eve here? What about Korva?”
“Korva and Eve went to Fecax with Varian and Harlow. It has been one power struggle after another on that planet, even as we look for the Fecax Queen.”
“I found her,” Methi grits out.
“What? Where?”
“Durin. She escaped with our ship.”
Roax scowls. “I have spent close to a year looking for her. Where did she go?”
“No idea.”
“I will trace her ship.”
“Uh, about that,” I shift awkwardly. “I kind of turned the locator off when I left to rescue Methi. I doubt she would’ve turned it back on.”
Roax frowns at me. “You took a big risk. I do not believe I have ever seen Jaret as furious as he was when he learned you had stolen that ship. Other than when his mate left, of course.”