Guarding the Broken

by Kirsty Moseley

  I sighed and flopped back into the bed, untangling myself from the sheets that had wrapped around me while I’d had my nightmare. I was disgusted with myself for being so screwed up that I was keeping someone else awake all night. I glanced over at him; he was reading with a small smile on his handsome face. It was hard to believe that real people actually looked like him.

  After about ten minutes of trying, I couldn’t make myself fall asleep. I couldn’t let him do this, it wasn’t fair on him. It was my fault, yet he was paying for it. He’d probably end up falling asleep awkwardly again, and his back would ache all day tomorrow. The only solution I could see that might work was if I just let him sleep in here with me, maybe that would stop the dreams and then he’d be able to sleep too. The thought of him in my bed scared the life out of me. The only guy I had ever slept in a bed with was Carter; I shuddered and pushed the thoughts of him away quickly.

  I took a deep breath and sat up, scooting to the far side of the bed so I wouldn’t be near him. “Ashton, just get in the bed,” I instructed.

  One of his dark eyebrows rose in question. “Huh?”

  I sighed deeply, trying to keep my nerves under control. “Look, just get in the bed, okay? I’m not letting you sit awake all night because I’m some kind of freaking psycho. If you want to stay in here so I don’t dream about him, then fine, but you’re not sitting in the chair all night,” I said sternly. He looked completely unsure; his wary expression told me that he thought I’d lost my mind. “Let’s just give it a try, okay? If I can’t handle it then I’ll let you know, but this just seems to be a good solution – one that involves us both getting some sleep,” I encouraged, patting the empty side for him to get in.

  “But I really wanted to know if Bella gets killed,” he whined jokingly.

  I rolled my eyes. “She’s in the next three books if that gives you a clue,” I retorted, laughing.

  He gasped and looked at me with mock horror. “I can’t believe you just ruined the end for me!” He moved and sat on the bed slowly, still watching my face.

  I laughed. “Right, sorry about that, Pretty Boy.” I settled myself on the edge of the bed, as far away from him as I could get without falling out.

  He lay down on top of the sheets cautiously, watching my face the whole time. “You sure this is okay? I mean, I don’t mind staying awake,” he offered.

  “Just stop would you? It’s fine.”

  He grinned and reached over, turning off my bedside light so that darkness cloaked my room. I gritted my teeth and tried to stay in control of myself. It was weird being in a bed with him. He didn’t move. In fact, he lay so still that I could barely tell he was there, apart from hearing his breathing. The sound was comforting somehow. He was lying as far away from me as he could get, on top of the sheets so that I was pinned underneath. I had the distinct impression that he was trying not to move in case he scared me. After a while, I rolled onto my side trying to see if he was awake or asleep, but it was too dark.

  “You okay?” he whispered, making me jump.

  Okay, well he’s awake, that answers that question! “I’m fine, Pretty Boy,” I promised. The mattress moved slightly, and the outline of his figure shifted as he rolled to his side too. My body started to react to him being so close to me – but not in the way I was expecting it to. My stomach got a little fluttery and I started to feel nervous. I wondered if he was going to touch me. A small part of me actually pondered what it would feel like if he did.

  “Why do you call me pretty boy?” he asked quietly. I gulped as his fingers touched the back of my hand that was gripped on the edge of the sheets. For some reason though, I didn’t flinch away from him. This must have encouraged him as his hand closed over mine, loosening my fist from the sheets and weaving his fingers through mine.

  I smiled weakly into the darkness. “You don’t really look like a tough guy, you’re more of a pretty boy,” I answered.

  A soft chuckle came from his direction. “You don’t think I’m a tough guy?”

  I chuckled too. “Well, when I first met you I would have said no, but after last night when you came in with your gun, I’d say you were definitely badass,” I admitted.

  “So I’m only badass with a gun?” he replied sarcastically.

  “Yeah, you’re more like a male model, slash, badass,” I joked, squeezing his hand gently to show I was just joking.

  He chuckled and pulled on my hand, making my body move closer to his. I swallowed my nervousness, but there was still a large gap between us, I just wasn’t on the edge of the bed anymore. “There, that’s better, you said you like to sleep in the middle of the bed,” he said, sounding satisfied. His thumb traced along the jagged scar that lined the inside of my wrist where I’d run the razor across when I’d woken up at Carter’s house the day after my sixteenth birthday. The scar was mirrored on my other arm too. Unfortunately for me, my attempt was thwarted back then so I’d had to endure my time with Carter, and everyday without Jack after.

  “Goodnight, Anna.”

  “Night.”

  He didn’t move again after that. I laid there, straining my eyes in the darkness to try and make him out, but to no avail. Half an hour later, the snoring started. I giggled, chewing on my lip, listening to the sound rumble through his chest. I closed my eyes, feeling something that I hadn’t felt since my sixteenth birthday. I felt safe. The sound of his snoring followed me into a peaceful sleep.

  Chapter Seven

  When I woke in the morning, I was pinned down onto the mattress. Panic surged through me until I heard the soft snore and realised it was Ashton. I was on my back, and he was lying half on his side with his other half on me, his arm and leg slung casually over me and his face buried in the crook of my neck.

  A quick glance at the alarm clock told me it was almost eleven thirty in the morning. I’d never slept in this late in my life, well, not without a substantial hangover anyway. Ashton moved slightly, his hand cupped the side of my head as his face nuzzled into my neck, making a sleepy moaning sound. I smiled and poked him in the ribs roughly.

  He grunted and jerked up, frowning at me through sleepy, half open eyes. His nose scrunched up as he regarded me with clear confusion for a split second before his eyes widened. He gasped and jumped out of the bed so fast that he almost fell on his butt.

  “Whoa, shit! I’m sorry! You okay?” he asked, his voice panicked, holding up his hands innocently. I nodded and smiled at him, trying not to laugh. He looked so funny; I’d never seen anyone move so fast. He blew out a big breath and his shoulders relaxed as he raked a hand through his messy black hair.

  “I’m fine, calm down.” I sat up, stretching my arms above my head. I groaned as my joints cracked and protested to the movement. My body ached all over; my muscles were tight and uncomfortable from my feeble attempts at fighting him the day before.

  “Jeez, Anna, I’m really sorry. I didn’t realise I was asleep on you like that. You should have pushed me off or something.” He winced apologetically. I smiled as I noticed how cute he looked when he’d just woken up. His eyes were still sleepy; he had the line of my tank top imprinted across the bottom of his jaw where he’d been asleep on me, and his hair was sticking up everywhere.

  “Don’t worry about it, the lying on me was fine, it was the snoring I almost smothered you for,” I joked, climbing out of the bed and grabbing my bath robe.

  “I don’t snore!” he protested, and then he frowned, looking at me curiously. “Do I?”

  I burst out laughing, raising one eyebrow incredulously. “You don’t know whether you snore or not? Haven’t girls ever told you?” I scoffed. How could any girl not tease the life out of him for it? He was so loud, I’m surprised he didn’t wake himself up.

  He sat on the edge of the bed and shrugged. “I’ve never stayed the night with a girl before.”

  I glanced over my shoulder to see if he was joking. Nope, no signs of humour there. “Really? How come?” I asked, plopping down on the bed
next to him and crossing my legs.

  “I told you, I’ve never really had a girlfriend, so…” he trailed off, shrugging casually.

  “Wow, you really are a player! So you fuck the girls then it’s just like what, ‘Thanks, ma’am’, and you leave?” I guessed, laughing.

  He rolled his eyes. “I’m not a player! I told you, I’ve just never met anyone who I wanted to spend the night with,” he explained.

  I smiled. “Until now.”

  He nodded. “Yeah, until now. But I’ve never once said ‘thanks ma’am’!” he said, grinning.

  Before I could protest, his arm shot across my shoulders and he pushed me so that I fell back on to the bed. He lay down next to me, pressing his body to my side. My heart started to race, but I wasn’t scared because I could see he was joking. He was watching me intently, probably to make sure he was alright doing this.

  “Well, thanks for letting me spend the night, ma’am” he whispered sexily. My breath caught in my throat at the husky sound of his voice.

  “You’re welcome, Agent,” I answered. “And thanks for staying the night, I slept really well.” I could feel the blush heating my cheeks because I’d spent the night in a bed with him and I’d had his body wrapped around mine when I woke.

  “Me too.” He rolled off me and walked to the door as if nothing had happened. “Want to meet me for breakfast?” he asked, stopping at the door.

  “Um, it’s a bit late for breakfast, but I’ll eat lunch with you.” I nodded at my alarm clock, showing him the time.

  He looked at the clock and shook his head, looking a little bemused. “Right, okay, lunch then,” he corrected, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “Come get me when you’re ready.” He closed the door firmly behind him and I walked over to my closet, picking out clothes for the day. After running a brush through my wild hair a couple of times, it became apparent that there was no salvaging it. Instead, I pulled it up into a ponytail and clipped my bangs to the side. I looked in the mirror and frowned. I looked the same as I did every other day: baggy and loose. I longed to wear normal clothes, but it was easier this way to go unnoticed; it actually scared me when guys started to look at me with lust in their eyes.

  I knew every man wasn’t like Carter, but just in case, I couldn’t bring myself to show any skin or curves. It was funny how that was different with Ashton. I hadn’t thought twice about wearing my swimsuit in front of him yesterday. There was something about him that just made me trust him, giving me more confidence around him.

  When I was done, I made my way out to Ashton’s room. “Hey,” he greeted cheerfully as he opened his door.

  “Hey.”

  “So, what do you want to do today? Is there anything good to do around here?” he asked as we walked down to the kitchen for lunch.

  “Not really. There’s a small shopping mall about half an hour away. Want to go there? I could buy some new art supplies, ready for school,” I offered, shrugging.

  “Sure okay, sounds good,” he agreed, smiling happily.

  “Wow, you’re easy to please,” I teased, elbowing him in the ribs playfully.

  He smiled. “I guess. I just don’t get much time off from training, so I don’t get to do normal things like that often.”

  “Well, that sucks,” I said frowning.

  “It doesn’t suck! I love my job; it’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. The training’s finished now so things should calm down,” he explained, shrugging.

  “Well not really, I mean, you got stuck on some crappy assignment to babysit me. My dad said that you won’t even get time off apart from scheduled school breaks. You must suck at being SWAT if they stuck you here,” I joked, smirking at him. Bless him; I bet he barely passed his training!

  “Actually, I graduated top of my class with honours. I hold five new records at the academy, which I was the only one to break in twenty years,” he replied dismissively like it was no big deal.

  I recoiled, shocked at the revelations. “Seriously? Then why did you get shipped off here with me? I mean, if you’re some awesome badass, why waste you here body guarding me? It’s not even a SWAT job, it’s the secret service’s responsibility to guard a Senator and his family.” I looked at him, confused. It just seemed like a waste of talent to me.

  He looked a little uncomfortable. “I don’t know. I just go wherever they assign me. Anyway, I’m glad I got ‘shipped off here’ as you put it, otherwise we wouldn’t have met,” he flirted, smiling at me cockily.

  “Yeah, because otherwise you’d still be holding that claim of never spending the night with a girl, like the badass player that you are.” I pushed him sideways playfully so I could step through the door into the inner hallway first. He didn’t reply. He just grabbed my waist, lifting me off my feet and threw me easily over his shoulder as he carried on walking in the direction of the kitchen. I gasped as everything turned upside down. “Whoa, holy crap! Put me down, right now!” I shouted, but the order lost some of its authority when I started laughing.

  “Nope, not until you apologise for calling me a player,” he refused playfully.

  “Ashton, put me down!” I instructed, struggling to get off him.

  “I didn’t hear you apologise.”

  “Agent Taylor, you put me down right now. I know people, I could have you assassinated!” I joked.

  He burst out laughing. “Right, and who do you know that could assassinate me?” he asked, still chuckling.

  “Dean.”

  “Dean Michaels? That guy likes me more than he does you, and I’ve only met him twice, it would be easier to get him to assassinate you!” he countered, laughing wickedly.

  “Put me down! All the blood’s rushing to my head,” I whined, giving up on my struggling because I could barely move an inch from the hold he had on me.

  “Wow, you whine like a baby, Anna. Where’s the fighting spirit? You could have wrapped your arms around my waist to give yourself more stability and kneed me in the face, you know. I thought you were big on the self-defence,” he teased. He tugged on my legs, making me slide down into his arms before he sat me on the kitchen counter. He was grinning from ear to ear.

  “No way! I could barely move, I tried to get down,” I protested, righting my clothes and trying to catch my breath from the experience of it.

  “You have much to learn, young grasshopper,” he said, patting me on the head like a child.

  “Whatever. Just keep your hands off me in the future, player,” I stated, grinning.

  He sighed and rolled his eyes, grinning sexily. “Yes, ma’am.”

  Movement from my right suddenly made me aware that we weren’t in the room alone. I flicked my eyes around quickly, taking in the shocked faces of my parents and half of the kitchen staff that were up the other end of the kitchen. I gasped and dropped my eyes to the floor, scooting forwards and jumping off the counter.

  Ashton groaned and a subtle blush crept over his cheekbones. I couldn’t help but notice how cute he looked with the pink on his cheeks; it was certainly a good look for him.

  “Good afternoon, Annabelle. Agent Taylor,” my father said after a second or two of uncomfortable silence.

  “Hi,” I mumbled, fighting to regain my composure and cool my own burning cheeks.

  “Good afternoon, sir, ma’am,” Ashton said, nodding politely, clearly uncomfortable because he hadn’t known they were there either.

  “Er, maybe we could get some lunch out instead, what do you think?” I asked Ashton, still blushing, just wanting to be out of here already.

  “Whatever you want, Miss Spencer.” He shrugged casually, a smirk on his lips, probably at my red face. He pulled out his cell phone, tapping away before shoving it back into his pocket.

  I looked back up at my parents who were still watching me like a hawk. “I’ll, er, see you guys later,” I muttered. “And I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have said a lot of those things. I’m not saying they weren’t true, but I shouldn’t have said them anyway
,” I shrugged awkwardly, looking at them apologetically.

  My mom smiled sadly. “That’s okay, Annabelle. We shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions like that, it wasn’t fair, and I shouldn’t have brought up Jack. I’m sorry.”

  “You can talk about him, that doesn’t upset me. I just don’t like you assuming that someone could ever replace him because they can’t,” I said confidently. I knew that for a fact – I would never love anyone like I loved Jack, and I hated people saying that I would get over him in time.

  “Honey, I wasn’t saying that at all, but I think you’re under some misunderstanding that you can’t be with anyone because Jack died. He wouldn’t want you to be like this,” my mom countered.

  I laughed at her statement; I’d heard that so many times from so many different therapists – repetition still didn’t make it true. “You’re right, he wouldn’t. I’m sure he wouldn’t have wanted me to get stuck with Carter either, but what we want and what happens are two different things entirely,” I said casually, making my parents flinch.

  “And if the situation were reversed, you’d want Jack to be like this, would you? Unhappy and alone?” my mother asked quietly.

  “Of course not!” I shot back angrily. I’d never want him to have to go through this, thankfully he didn’t have to.

  “Well then, maybe you should think about what Jack would want,” she suggested.

  “I think about what Jack would want every minute of every day, Mom,” I said quietly.

  “Oh, baby, I didn’t mean it that way!” she gasped, looking upset. She jumped up from her chair and came forward to hug me; I shrank back unconsciously, not wanting to build bridges with her. I bumped into Ashton who was standing just behind me. He placed his hands on my waist, steadying me.

  My mom’s face dropped when I moved away, and the guilt washed through me because all I ever did was hurt them. In trying to make myself less vulnerable by shutting people out, I knew I was hurting them but I just couldn’t help it.