An Eternity in a Moment

by K Carothers

  With a helpless groan she got out of bed and stood there uncertainly, not quite sure what she could do to settle her senses. One thing was definitely for sure: being in love made it almost as hard to sleep as thoughts of ghosts did. She glanced at the lamp and shook her head wryly.

  Part of her still found it hard to believe that she’d fallen in love. Just a week ago she would probably have given more credence to ghosts. Letting the heart rule the mind had seemed like a foolish—even dangerous—thing to do. It was the last thing on earth she’d thought she needed or wanted. And now to have fallen for Luke so hard, and so fast…It defied every logical bone in her body.

  “It is only when we forget all our learning that we begin to know…”

  The quote was one of Jenna’s favorites from Thoreau. And Erin finally understood it.

  Smiling to herself, she grabbed one of her medical journals off the pile she’d set on the dresser and headed back to bed with it. She couldn’t literally forget all her learning or she’d be permanently unemployed, so she might as well catch up on some reading. And the longest, most boring article she could find would hopefully do the trick and put her to sleep.

  She stacked up a couple of pillows and reclined back on them, then started paging through the magazine. A title caught her eye, and she blinked in surprise: “Can Nipple Stimulation and Orgasm Help Prevent Breast Cancer?”

  She flipped the journal back over to the front cover, holding her spot with a finger. Yep, no mistake. It was the same reputable journal she’d always read, not some trashy magazine that had been slipped into her bag at the adult entertainment store.

  Laughing silently at the thought, she opened the journal up again. This wasn’t likely to be the tedious sort of article she’d been looking for, but now she didn’t care. She was wide awake and intended to read every word.

  Interesting, she thought as she read. The article focused on oxytocin, a hormone that was produced by the brain during breastfeeding to stimulate the breast ducts to contract and release milk for the nursing baby. The authors discussed the fact that women who breast fed were less likely to get breast cancer, and theorized that regular nipple stimulation could have the same effect, as this also caused oxytocin to be released. They noted that nipple stimulation during sex often helped a woman achieve orgasm as well, and orgasm further increased oxytocin release. So both nipple stimulation and orgasm might help prevent breast cancer. And by increasing the likelihood of orgasm, nipple simulation could also reduce the risk of sexual dysfunction and improve a woman’s emotional health.

  Erin laid the magazine down on her lap and contemplated what she’d just read. The article made a lot of sense, and she was surprised she’d never heard the topic discussed before. Peter certainly hadn’t mentioned it.

  She thought about him explaining the importance of regular breast stimulation and orgasms to his patients, and the very idea made her laugh out loud. She imagined him putting up a sign in his office, maybe something like ‘Breast Cancer Prevention Begins in Bed,’ and she laughed even harder.

  Then something hit her bedroom window.

  She abruptly stopped laughing and sat still, listening.

  A moment later she heard the noise again, and her heart beat faster. Oh God, what now? It didn’t sound like a bug, and there were no trees near the window, so it wasn’t a branch. She glanced around the room, wondering if she was going to have another ghost encounter. That would definitely kill any chance of getting sleep.

  Then it happened again, making her jump. And she sat there, waiting for the worst…

  But nothing came through the window except moonlight, so she finally went over to it and hesitantly peered out. And her breath caught. There was someone out there, standing below the window.

  A second later it registered in her brain who it was. Luke.

  Fear turned to surprise, and she quickly pushed up the window, along with the screen, and leaned out. “Luke? What are you doing?”

  “I couldn’t sleep,” he said, grinning up at her. “Now that I’ve slept with you, I can’t sleep without you.”

  Erin grinned back. “I couldn’t sleep either, so I just read an article about how nipple stimulation and orgasms might reduce the risk of breast cancer. That didn’t help.”

  Luke chuckled. “Let me come up there and I’ll be your poster boy for breast cancer prevention.”

  “I don’t know if I should,” Erin teased. “Not after you scared me half to death by throwing rocks at my window.”

  “They weren’t rocks. They were just pebbles. And I tried to call when I was in the driveway, but you obviously couldn’t answer.” Luke held up two phones.

  Erin squinted down at one of them. “Is that my phone?”

  “Yeah, it was in your car. And you should keep that locked up too, by the way.”

  “So that’s where it was,” Erin said, shaking her head ruefully. “But why didn’t you just pick the front door lock to get in? I’m sure you know how.”

  “I didn’t want to scare you or Jenna. You probably would’ve called the cops.”

  Erin’s lips twisted into a half-smile. “As it is, I didn’t know what to think when I heard strange noises outside my window. I’ve seen a ghost here several times already. If I hadn’t lost my phone I might have called Ghostbusters.”

  “Come on, Erin. You of all people can’t possibly believe in ghosts?”

  “Oh, they’re real all right. Either that or I’m crazier than I thought.”

  Luke raised his arms to her. “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair, and I’ll come save you from ghosts.”

  “You’re making fun of me. Now I really shouldn’t let you up.”

  “Please, I’m dying of sleep deprivation without you,” he said in mock seriousness. “How can I gain your mercy, Rapunzel?”

  Erin propped her head on her hands and gave him a playful grin. “Well, Prince Charming, since you’re standing down there like that, how about a serenade? If you can sing, that is. I wouldn’t want you to offend the crickets.”

  “I can sing a little.” Luke looked up at her thoughtfully. “And I have the perfect song for you. It’s a country song.”

  “Okay, I’m listening.”

  He cleared his throat and started singing:

  “‘I never did like Mondays,

  They put me in a funk.

  And the only way to fix it

  Was gettin’ good and drunk.’”

  Erin laughed shortly. “Now you’re making fun of me because I got drunk the other night. If you think that’s going to—”

  “Just wait, it gets better,” Luke interrupted with amusement in his voice, and continued singing:

  “‘But it all changed that Monday

  I went to the liquor store.

  I was lookin’ for a six pack

  ‘Til you walked through the door.’”

  He smiled up at her affectionately and started the chorus:

  “‘Now it’s hello Monday,

  My favorite day for sure,

  ‘Cause I know every Monday

  I’m gonna love you even more.’”

  A soft sigh escaped Erin. “I wish we’d met on a Monday, then that could be our song.”

  “We did.” Luke’s smile widened into a grin. “Monday, August 24th, 1992. It was the day we started first grade. Both your front teeth were missing, and you were the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.”

  Erin felt her eyes immediately get hot with tears. “Luke…”

  “Are you going to let me up now, or do I have to keep singing?”

  “Yes—I mean no, I’m coming.”

  Erin shut the window, then threw on her robe and flew down the stairs to the front door. Luke got there just as she opened it, and for a moment all she could do was stand in the doorway and stare up at him in amazement. “I can’t believe you remembered t
hat day.”

  “I wouldn’t forget it any more than I would my birthday,” he said, giving her a boyish smile.

  Erin closed the rest of the distance between them and pulled his head down, pressing her lips to his in a deep, impassioned kiss.

  Luke chuckled afterward. “I gather you liked my singing?”

  “Yes, you have a very sexy voice.” A slow, devilish grin crossed Erin’s face. “And now I’m too aroused to let you sleep.”

  Luke swooped her up into his arms and carried her inside. “It must be the vibrato.”

  Erin laughed softly, nuzzling her face his hair. “You are a clever one, Detective.”

  Luke took her up to the bedroom and gently laid her on the bed. Then he sat down next to her, and an intense look entered his blue eyes as he gazed at her. “You don’t know how many times I’ve imagined you in your bed like this,” he whispered, easing her robe open and running a hand slowly over the white silk nightgown she had on underneath. “Or how many times it killed me knowing I wasn’t the one with you.”

  “Oh, Luke.” Erin took his hand and tenderly kissed his palm. “We both need to leave the past in the past and concentrate on what’s right here, right now.” She looked up past his shoulder, and her eyes widened in surprise. “Like that ghost standing behind you.”

  “What—!” Luke whipped around so fast he lost his footing and slid to the floor.

  Erin clapped a hand over her mouth, smothering a laugh. “I’m sorry, Luke. I was just kidding.”

  He smiled at her in chagrin and stood up, kicking his shoes off. “I’ll give you a ghost,” he said, pulling the sheet out from under her. Then he threw it over his head and jumped on top of her, leaving the other ghosts behind him.

  Chapter

  16

  Luke left early the next morning, and Erin had been half-asleep when she returned his goodbye kiss, falling back into blissful slumber afterward. But she would have given him a much better goodbye if she’d known they wouldn’t see each other again that day because he had to leave town to hunt down criminals. And when he called later to tell her, she’d gotten her first taste of the worry that went along with loving an officer of the law.

  Wayne Raabe’s car had been found in Eagle River, a small town about three hours north of New Dublin, so he and Scott Ripley were driving up there to investigate. Erin had already heard about how Wayne helped Jesse Torres escape from the hospital, and what they’d done to the cop who’d been on duty. That and the murder were the talk of the town and all over the news. The media was speculating that Wayne and Jesse were the ones who’d killed Tina Murdock, and she hoped it wasn’t true. She’d saved Jesse’s life, and now Luke could be in danger because of it.

  She wasn’t going to think about that, though. She couldn’t, or it would drive her out of her mind. Instead, she did her best to stay busy—and prayed that Luke was careful.

  She stopped at the Shamrock Inn with new batteries after lunch and was glad the desk clerk hadn’t asked any questions. She also decided to keep her Sally Ride alter ego a secret between her and Luke and hadn’t asked for her deposit back, either.

  From there she went to the hospital and started the process of getting privileges to work in the ER. Jenna hadn’t wanted her to, but Erin explained that she was only doing it because of what had happened with the baby last Sunday. She wasn’t committing to anything. And the paperwork would take weeks to get approved, so she wouldn’t be able to pick up shifts for a while anyway.

  But as soon as Erin walked into the hospital she’d felt a longing to work in the ER again. In fact, she would have started right then and there if they’d let her. Jenna had been right in the first place: She needed medicine as much as it needed her.

  Greg hadn’t asked why she’d failed to show up on Monday as originally planned, and it was another question Erin was grateful she hadn’t had to answer. Telling him she’d been hung over and puking her guts out that morning wasn’t a good way to get hospital privileges.

  They’d gone down to the cafeteria for coffee after finishing her paperwork, and she told him that she and Luke were seeing each other. He’d laughed and said they’d all seen that coming on Sunday. She also hesitantly mentioned that she still planned on returning to Boston, and he’d assured her that it was okay—he and Joanne already figured there was a good chance she wouldn’t be going back alone.

  Later that day she made another trip to Madison with Jenna and ordered the hot tub, which would be delivered on Saturday and installed on the back patio. Then they’d done some serious grocery shopping.

  Erin had always felt a little inept when it came to nutrition, even though Harvard taught it better than most medical schools. But in the ER she didn’t need to know much about nutritional medicine. The focus, more than any other specialty, was on treatment—immediate treatment.

  Bad nutritional habits had also been easy to develop in medical school and residency—not to mention in the ER. She’d always been eating on the run, grabbing quick meals from the cafeteria or stopping for takeout on the way home. And a lifestyle like that wasn’t exactly conducive to the development of any culinary skills. Maybe if she’d tried a little harder she would have become more adept in the kitchen. But as things stood, she was a terrible cook.

  Now, however, she was getting a crash course in nutrition and cooking. She had to learn because it was the best way she could help Jenna. Good nutrition was as important as anything in fighting cancer and improving a patient’s quality of life.

  A lot of food had been thrown into the woods over the last week courtesy of her cooking attempts, but Erin still felt like she was making a lot of progress with Jenna’s help—she could actually prepare her own vegetables and boil an egg now without having to look up how. Jenna couldn’t stand for long, but she was still an excellent cook and an amazing teacher. And she didn’t mind that they were keeping the wildlife so well-fed.

  Erin had also spent a lot of time reading about nutrition and cancer. Eating a variety of high-calorie and high-protein foods, along with drinking plenty of fluids, was imperative, as the cancer cells were basically eating the body alive. And cancer patients often lacked an appetite, even those not on chemotherapy, so it was an ongoing battle to avoid malnutrition and dehydration. Parenteral (intravenous) nutrition and fluids were sometimes necessary, and the question of when, or if, to give them to a terminal patient was a difficult one. But Erin planned to do everything she could to keep Jenna out of the hospital. And she knew the hospice program her friend was enrolled in would provide invaluable services as well—though she hoped they wouldn’t need to do much for a while.

  Erin had tried to find some good data on the best vitamin and herbal supplements for cancer patients, but the literature was surprisingly ambiguous. Unfortunately, most supplements hadn’t been well-studied in large clinical trials. Pharmaceutical companies were often the ones funding research, and the majority of that research was focused on the synthetic drugs they could exclusively manufacture. That’s where the money was. And medicine, like almost everything else in the world, was driven by money.

  But in her literature search she’d also come across some very disheartening statistics about the health of Americans. Despite spending more per capita on health care and retail drugs than any other nation by far, the average life expectancy of people in the United States only ranked forty-third in the world according to 2017 data in the CIA World Factbook. And the U.S. had one of the highest rates of cancer. The numbers made Erin realize with startling clarity just how much more was involved in keeping people alive and healthy than could be found in a hospital, clinic, or pharmacy.

  Diet certainly played a role, and Japan was one of the countries where people lived the longest, so she’d spent some time reading about their dietary habits. They ate more seafood, rice, and vegetables, consumed less red meat, dairy and processed foods, and drank a lot of tea. She’d also
read that the incidence of most cancers in India was significantly lower than in the U.S., and it might be related to their dietary habits as well. They ate a predominantly plant-based diet, and like the Japanese, consumed very little red meat. They also used a lot of spices. In particular, turmeric, ginger, chili pepper, and cloves were some that did have a number of studies supporting their potential cancer-fighting benefits. There were studies that indicated green tea might be beneficial as well.

  Garlic also had a lot of promise in the fight against cancer. When it was chopped or crushed an enzyme was released that initiated the production of a substance called allicin, which was responsible for many of the health benefits of garlic (and the odor too). But allicin deteriorated quickly and wasn’t heat stable, so the garlic either had to be eaten raw or cooked at low temperatures soon after it was crushed to achieve the maximum health benefits. Another option was to buy an allicin supplement. But due to the lack of adequate studies and federal regulations, it was hard to really know what a safe, effective dose was, or which manufacturers were actually producing the allicin in reliable concentrations.

  In any case, the kitchen was now stocked with plenty of seafood, rice, fresh fruits, and vegetables. And Erin planned to add plenty of herbs and spices to various dishes, soups, and teas. She knew none of these things would be a miracle cure, but maybe they could help give her a little more time with Jenna, and for that they would be priceless.

  * * *

  Erin was in bed catching up on reading her medical journals—one of the long, boring articles this time—when Luke called again, much to her relief.

  “It’s good to hear your voice, honey,” he said.

  Erin heard weariness in his tone and wished she could put her arms around him. “Yours too, Luke. Are you still up in Eagle River?”