An Eternity in a Moment

by K Carothers

  The bear came to a halt about fifteen feet from them on the other side of Jesse. She pinned her ears back and swatted the ground with her front paw, revealing large, pointed teeth as she made a huffing noise that almost sounded like a growl. Then she clacked her teeth together, quickly lunged forward a step, stopped, and huffed at them again.

  “Fuck this!” Wayne said.

  Erin knew he was going to run, and this time she didn’t freeze. When he started to turn away she drew her stick back and swung it as hard as she could. With a loud thwack it hit the back side of his head, violently jerking it the opposite way, and he crumpled to the ground unconscious.

  Erin didn’t stop to think twice about what she’d just done, though. She quickly turned back to face the bear, raising her stick again. Her heart pounded in her chest, but she knew she had a better chance with this bear now than she’d had with Wayne before. “If you’re going to rip me to shreds, I won’t make it easy this time,” she told the bear. “You might not leave here with both eyes, so I’d suggest you just go and take care of your cub.”

  But the mother bear didn’t listen. She got up on her hind legs and made a grunting sound, staring at Erin with her small, close-set dark eyes.

  Oh God. Oh God…Erin readied the stick, grasping it firmly, but not too tightly, just the way she’d been taught to hold a scalpel. “Keep your hand steady, Erin,” the instructor had said. “Don’t hold it too hard or you won’t have as much control.” But life had already taught her not to hold on to anything too hard.

  The bear dropped down on all four paws, and Erin had to make a conscious effort to breathe. Aim for the eye, she told herself. Just aim for the eye…

  But in the blink of an eye the bear gracefully turned and ambled off after her cub. And then she was gone, leaving only the stillness of the forest behind.

  “Wow,” Jesse whispered.

  Erin quickly pointed the stick back in Wayne’s direction, knowing she wasn’t out of danger yet. But he still lay unmoving on the ground. She lightly prodded him, and when he didn’t respond she squatted down to check for a pulse in his neck—and a small part of her almost hoped she wouldn’t find one. But it was there, steady and strong.

  “Is he alive?” Jesse asked.

  “Yes,” Erin said, tossing the stick aside and grabbing Wayne’s knife instead. At least she had that now. And after facing the bear, she was confident she would use it if she had to.

  “Wayne has handcuffs in the bag. He took them from the cop,” Jesse told her softly. “You should put them on him.”

  Erin hurried over to the duffel bag, setting the knife down next to her. But when she unzipped the bag and saw what else it contained, she stopped cold and her eyes widened in shock. There were hundreds and hundreds of packets of white powder stuffed inside, and other small bags containing round, white pills. Drugs. Enough to supply the entire town—probably the entire county.

  Shaking off her surprise, she carefully searched deeper into the bag. Her fingers made contact with metal a moment later, but she hadn’t found the handcuffs, she soon discovered—she’d found a gun. And she gingerly pulled it out, never having touched a gun in her life before.

  “It’s loaded if you want to shoot him,” Jesse said. “He deserves it.”

  “Do I just pull the trigger?” Erin asked. She had no intention of shooting Wayne now, but it would be a good idea to know how if he woke up anytime soon.

  “Disengage the safety by pushing up the lever on the left side,” Jesse said. “And if you do need to shoot, hold the gun with both hands, aim, and pull the trigger.”

  Erin pushed up the safety lever like he’d told her, and carefully set the gun on a rock. Then she found the handcuffs and hastily shackled Wayne’s arms behind him. But it occurred to her afterward that he could still get up and run—if she didn’t shoot him, of course.

  She had no desire to find out if she had any skills with a gun, though—or if she would even try to shoot him—so she needed another way to keep him from escaping. And as she looked around for a solution, her eyes fell on the cross, and she knew in an instant what to do.

  Grabbing the knife, she went over to it and whispered, “I’m sorry, Anne Marie, but I’ll get you a better cross as soon as I can.”

  She cut the knot that held the cross together and quickly unraveled the twine. Then she used it to tie Wayne’s legs up, and even had enough left over to secure his legs to the chain linking the handcuffs for good measure. She used surgical knots the whole time—the same type of knot she used when stitching people up in the ER. Patients were often impressed with her knot-tying skills and said she must be good at fishing or knitting. Men were usually the ones who mentioned fishing, and ladies the ones who brought up knitting, but she imagined fishing and knitting were probably the perfect combination of hobbies to have. She would never have guessed her skills would come in handy to tie up criminals, though.

  “I thought you were a doctor?” Jesse asked with a faint smile as he watched her work.

  “I’m dating Detective Mathis,” Erin said wryly. “Maybe he’ll give me an honorary badge.”

  The boy’s expression turned somber again. “I’m sorry he has to deal with all this. He was always nice to me.”

  Erin finished with Wayne and knelt beside Jesse. “Can I take a quick look at your wounds?”

  He nodded, and she gently eased his shirt up—and grimaced. There was a dirty bandage hanging from the pus-covered bullet wound, and the infection had spread over a large area of the surrounding skin.

  “We need to get you to a hospital, Jesse. I know the way out of here, but’s it’s a pretty long walk. Do you think you can give it a try?”

  “Just leave me here,” he responded, looking away. “Maybe I’ll die before anyone finds me again.”

  Erin gently touched his arm. “I’m not leaving you here. And you’re not going to die if I have anything to say about it.”

  Jesse turned back to her, and the pain she saw in his brown eyes had nothing to do with the infection. “Why do you keep helping me? You shouldn’t even want to after everything I’ve done. You don’t have any reason to care about me.”

  “I care because I can see there’s good in you, Jesse. I think you’ve let the world get to you. And believe me, I know exactly how that feels.”

  The boy stared up into the canopy of trees overhead. “I can’t believe all of this is even happening. And Wayne…I thought I loved him—I did love him. He’s the only guy I’ve ever been with, and…and he wasn’t always like this. I know he got into trouble with the cops before, but he had it pretty rough as a kid. He was working to make things better, though. He took classes and got his GED so he could go to tech school to be a nurse. But he threw his back out around Christmas when some demented guy went nuts at the hospital, and his doctor gave him a prescription for oxycodone. He got addicted and then started using heroin. He said it was easier to get than oxy. And after that everything went to hell.”

  Erin nodded, having heard the same story over and over again in Boston. Prescription narcotic abuse had become a national epidemic. And many of those patients went on to use heroin, patients who would never even have dreamed they’d go down that dark and often deadly road. “I saw the drugs in the duffel bag,” she said. “Are they Wayne’s?”

  Jesse shook his head. “No, they’re the mayor’s. Wayne’s really smart and figured out it was the mayor who was supplying drugs to the dealers. He stole them from his house after he got me out of the hospital—which I didn’t even know he was gonna do. And I told him to leave that cop alone. But I went with him because I wanted to get as far away from this town as I could. I hate it here.”

  Erin realized the implications of what the boy had just said. “The mayor is dealing drugs, and the two of you were at his house the night his wife was murdered?”

  Jesse continued to stare up into the trees. “Only
Wayne went in, and he said she was already dead. But now I don’t know…He was gone a long time, so he could’ve killed her.” Then he turned to her, and the glazed look in his eyes cleared a little. “Wayne stole a flash drive he found in the house too, and he called the mayor the next day to tell him he had his stuff. They were supposed to meet at Maguire Park on Monday at noon, and the mayor was gonna give him a million dollars for it. But he told Wayne he has a cop helping him, and if Wayne said anything about what was on the flash drive the cop would kill him. Wayne thought they might try to do something to him anyway, so he drove us up to Eagle River and asked his brother Zeke for a different car since Zeke sells cars as a side job. But Zeke wouldn’t help him, and Wayne got mad and stole a car from him, and the gun too. He hid the car in the woods near the shack, and the flash drive is taped inside the trunk.”

  “What’s on the flash drive?” Erin asked.

  “I didn’t look, but Wayne said he found a bunch of files on it. Some of them have to do with drugs, but he said there’s a lot of other stuff on it too—like how the mayor has a ton of money in bank accounts in other countries. We were gonna leave this town for good, but when Wayne saw what was all on the flash drive he thought he could blackmail the mayor. I told him it was a bad idea, but he wouldn’t change his mind, so we’ve been staying in a hunting shack near here until the meeting. Except we didn’t bring enough food, and we got lost when we tried to find some.”

  Just then Wayne started to moan, and Erin quickly turned around, grabbing the knife. But he only made a few restless movements and was still again. “I’ve got to get help,” she told Jesse. “Stay right here. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

  The boy shook his head, looking up at her in anguish. “I just wanna die. Please. I don’t have any reason to live now. I’m going to prison, and I’m Mexican and gay, so I’d be better off going to Hell. My dad told me I’m going there anyway if I wanna be gay. The Bible says so. But I didn’t choose this. I didn’t. It’s just who I am.” His lips twisted into a grim smile. “You know what my real name is? Jesús. And six months ago I did everything exactly like I was supposed to—I was the perfect student, the perfect son. But I couldn’t pretend anymore. I told my parents I was gay, and now they’re fighting all the time because of me. And I told Connor, who was my best friend since kindergarten, and he hates me for it—he even said so. All he’s done is bully me ever since, and now I hate him back. So I challenged him to a duel and told him if he didn’t do it I would tell the cops his dad is as bad as the drug lords in Mexico. And I wanted to kill him too. Then no one would question I was a man. And I really would deserve to go to Hell for being gay.”

  Erin softly sighed. “My best friend, Miss Godfrey, was your teacher in elementary school, and she would know exactly what to say to you right now. She’s much better at this sort of thing than I am. And she hasn’t forgotten you, by the way. She even went to all your football games last season.”

  “I used to bring her candy almost every day in fourth grade.” A look of affection briefly crossed Jesse’s face. “Even gay boys can have a crush on a girl.”

  Erin gave him an encouraging smile. “Well, here’s what I think Miss Godfrey would say: When people are faced with something that goes against the norm, or is different than what they’ve been taught to believe, they have a natural tendency to reject it rather than to understand and accept it. People strive for conformity. They feel more in balance when everyone does the same thing, thinks the same way, because it’s a survival instinct that’s been built into us. But all too often that instinct ends up being mankind’s worst enemy. It takes a lot of strength and courage to be different. But it also takes just as much strength and courage for other people to embrace differences. If you stay positive, though, and you make yourself part of the solution and not the problem, no matter how much you want to fight back at those who hurt you, then you’ll find out that there really are a lot of strong and courageous people in the world. And you can become one of them.”

  Erin lightly squeezed Jesse's arm. “Another thing Miss Godfrey would tell you is that no one is going to Hell just for being gay, and that when people use the Bible to make judgements against others, they’re the ones committing the real sins. She’s also mentioned a few things the Bible says about women, things that sound more like the words of men than the word of God—like how it’s written that women shouldn’t be allowed to teach men and should remain quiet and submissive. Those aren’t exactly her favorite verses, believe me. And it also says that women will be saved through childbearing. So taken literally, it means God has condemned millions of women to Hell for not having a child, and Miss Godfrey and I will be heading there ourselves. But everything that ended up in the Bible was entirely written by men—a whole lot of men—a very long time ago. And even though they probably were inspired by the Holy Spirit, and I’m sure had very good intentions, what they wrote was still bound to be heavily influenced by their own experiences and beliefs—they were still human after all. The same goes for the men who chose what to include in the Bible. And just like everything else in life, the Bible will be interpreted very differently when people are motivated by hate and cynicism instead of love. But I think Miss Godfrey would say that if you do love, and you care about others more than anything, then it really doesn’t matter if you’re gay, straight, or sideways. You’ll go to Heaven just the same.” Erin chuckled. “Yes, that’s exactly what she would say. And she would also tell you to go to church and pray about it.”

  The boy winced. “If I survive for even a day in prison.”

  “You’re only sixteen, Jesse. I don’t think they’ll send you to prison.” Erin studied him thoughtfully. “There might even be a way to get you out of this mess entirely. And I’ll help with that. But I need you to give me your word as a man that you’ll start getting your life back together after this, one day at a time. And swear to me that you won’t use drugs. I’ve seen what drug abuse does to people and how badly it can end. I don’t want you to be another statistic.”

  “I stopped using anything when I saw what was happening to Wayne. But there’s no way you can get me out of this.”

  “Just swear to me. And that you’ll go to church, too. You need to work your problems out with God for yourself, in your own time, but Miss Godfrey would tell you that praying with others is an especially powerful thing.”

  Hope sparked in the boy’s eyes. “Yes, I swear.”

  Erin nodded. “Well, here’s what I’m thinking: Right now you, Wayne, and I are the only ones who know where the mayor’s flash drive is. And I’ll bet the district attorney’s office would be willing to do some serious negotiating with you to get it. They’ll probably want you to testify against Wayne. But if you’ll do that, you might not have to go to jail at all.”

  Jesse stared at her in amazement. “Are you sure you’re a doctor?”

  Erin laughed softly. “I’m finding out a lot in these woods today.”

  The boy shifted his gaze up toward the sky. “I’ll testify against Wayne.”

  No sooner did he say that than the other boy started wiggling around, letting out his favorite word in a low groan, “Fuck…”

  Erin leaned closer to Jesse and whispered, “I need to tell Luke they have a dirty cop and that Wayne was supposed to meet the mayor at the park on Monday. But I won’t say anything about the flash drive. Do you have a lawyer?”

  “No, my parents were gonna get one, but then I took off with Wayne.”

  “I’ll find you one as soon as we get out of here,” Erin promised. “In the meantime, don’t talk to anybody about the flash drive either. And don’t say a word to the police at all until you talk to your lawyer. Okay?”

  “Okay,” Jesse said, giving her another incredulous look. “I still can’t believe you want to help me.”

  Erin gently smiled. “I’m only doing what so many others have done for me.”

  But a sec
ond later she heard the deep bark of what sounded like a very large dog, and her smile faded. Oh God, what am I in for now?

  Then she shot to her feet and grabbed the gun.

  * * *

  The big German Shepherd Bandit sniffed around excitedly and continued on through the woods ahead of Melinda Mann, the petite blond K-9 officer who loosely held his leash, while Luke, Scott Ripley, and several sheriff’s deputies followed behind them.

  Luke gripped his gun in both hands as he scanned the woods, knowing by the dog’s behavior that they were getting close. He just hoped to God they got there in time. After what those boys had done to Ben, he didn’t even want to contemplate what they might be doing to Erin.

  Then Bandit raced around a huge rock, barking wildly.

  “Bleib!” Melinda commanded, stopping the dog in his tracks.

  Luke quickly came around after them, holding his gun at the ready. But when he took in the scene before him, he did a double take. Wayne Raabe lay on his belly, handcuffed and hogtied, squealing like a stuck pig who’d learned a lot of dirty English. Jesse Torres was sprawled out beyond him, looking sicker than a dog. And Erin stood next to Jesse, her eyes wide with fear, pointing a gun right back at them.

  “Erin, put the gun down!” he ordered.