by Paul Vayro
Chapter Five
“Bobby Dazzler. I’m proud to shake the hand of a fellow man of honour.” Hugo lowered his ten foot frame to make contact with Bobby’s four foot entirety.
“You must be the much spoken of Hugo Cortizone. It’s a pleasure to finally meet the man behind the legend.”
Hugo stood to his full height, laughed to the ceiling, and spoke to a horizon nobody could see. “We’re all legends Bobby. It’s just some of us have our status promoted across the universe in a variety of formats by an incredibly effective team of media experts.” He flicked his hair in a humble manner. Bobby stepped further into the craft.
Bobby was a pleasant man, humanoid in shape but not in proportion. He stood at four feet and was split roughly one third head, one third torso, and one third legs. He wore a dark green velvet suit topped off by a bright yellow bowler hat. A sense of joy sprang from him, his excessively sized mouth using every inch to convey the feeling.
“What a beautiful ship.” Bobby expressed his first impressions.
“Ah yes. The good old Baroda Calypso mark III, or as I affectionately named her: Chieftains Desire.” Hugo skipped around as he continued, all the time focusing on an audience that wasn’t there. “In the endless quest against all that is wrong I have to be able to out-pace, out-turn, out-skid, out-smirk, and out-accessorise my enemies, which are many.”
Bobby ignored Hugo’s theatrics and looked around as he strolled. The interior gleamed with hope and achievement. Although compact it gave the feel of space and airiness. The mood lighting reflected the sense of safety it offered. The room they stood in was large, it had to be to accommodate Hugo’s bulk, but efficient in its furnishing. A number of doors led away from the main room, all sleek and black with a mirror-like level of reflection. It was everything the number one hero in the universe should drive. Bobby dropped his suitcase in a place least likely to trip anyone over and sat in a chair by a window.
“That’s quite a suit you’re wearing little fella. How do you find that stands up to fighting bad guys on volcano's? I could give you the name of my own tailor if you wish?” Hugo flexed in and out of various body building postures. The red lycra left little to the imagination, clinging to his body with an air of superiority.
“I’m not sure my physique would be suited to such a garment. I appreciate the offer though.”
“Don’t worry Bobby, few men's do.” Hugo looked very pleased at something. Bobby presumed the ultimate hero was thinking about his own greatness. “I just have to get this baby in the air then we can sit back and share tales of peril and fortitude.”
“I’m not sure I have many.”
“That’s the spirit.” Hugo turned and disappeared through the door to Bobby’s right. It led to the control room. The little hero moved to the cushioned bench that ran beneath the window. He stared out as the ship left his home planet.
Bobby sat for several minutes appreciating the wonder of the rock he called home until his train of thought was interrupted by the return of Hugo. “The course is set: Earth franchise 4444 is our destiny.”
“Are people allowed to visit Earth franchise planets these days? I rarely concern myself with universal politics.”
“No. The law remains my friend, and evil still persists in flouting every one we good people set.” Hugo ground his fist in to his palm. “Sorry, sometimes emotion gets the better of me. Where was I? Oh yes. This helpless franchise was attacked by mindless alien's hell bent on spreading their negativity, but two brave souls stepped forward and sent them packing. For that they are rewarded with the chance to do the same for their universe. Times are hard my little friend, we need all the help we can gather.”
“From what I remember Earth’s are the most glorious of planets. I hear life knows no bounds, finding every crevice and filling it with wonder.”
“You hear correct. Although wherever there is life there’s trouble just waiting to be snuffed out. Enough about evil. How do you spend your days little man? When you’re not pumping weights and practising death throws?” Hugo demonstrated both.
“I harvest sunbeams.” The smile was brighter than any solar flare.
“Sunbeams? Sounds fascinating.”
“Oh it’s more than fascinating. It’s the very essence of wonder. The moment the grass parts to allow nothing more than a photon through. The slightest of encouragement sees it joined by another, teased to stand on its end, then another, until a rush of particles join to add strength and hope to something so beautiful words struggle to contain its true power. To see a field ready for harvest: a thousand sunbeams bending gently as they reach towards the sky. Not blinding but soothing on the eyes, massaging your very thoughts to a state of complete serenity and oneness with everything that exists.” It became clear where Bobby’s self inspired happiness stemmed from. Even Hugo was caught up in the moment, before snapping out of it and remembering nothing had been said about him for a while.
“That’s great Bobby. You know what I like doing when I’m not catching bad guys?”
“I will if you tell me.”
“Catching more bad guys. Man I love the look on their face when they know they’re caught. On my day off too, they don’t expect that…..”
Hugo continued regaling tales, Bobby was happy to let him. The green suited hero kept one eye focused on social pleasantries while the other observed the universe sprawled out before him. He pondered on the Earth they were approaching and the two men they would meet there. He expected nothing. It was the only way to avoid disappointment, and probably best considering who they were picking up.
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