by Paul Vayro
Chapter Thirty Five
Chris prided himself on his experimental approach to practically every aspect of life. Building a house had been no different to finding the perfect angle for a spoon's handle. Beginning with the basic needs of shelter Chris had built a wooden hut containing a basic bed of straw and a hearth. Before completing the abode he'd already considered improvements and added an extension on the back, built from stone. Multiple rooms soon became multiple storeys, the problem of what to with the staircase he'd previously invented finding a natural solution. Eventually discovering brick he'd gone on to build his current mansion, leaving each unfinished earlier effort as a corridor of progression through man's architectural history. The group left the semi detached era and entered the hallway to the main body of Chris' home.
"How informative." Spiritwind chewed on a chicken leg, surveying the museum-like atmosphere of the entrance path.
"What does this rope do?" Brick couldn't resist the chord to his left.
"It either creates a beverage to await thee in the room of space, moves thon wall yonder eight feet to thy left, or closes the curtains that adorn mon bedroom." Chris tapped his chin as a memory aid, considering something more important. "Is it right or left here?" Chris pondered beneath his breath.
"I'm probably going to pull it." Brick had to be honest.
"Pull away. Left, definitely left. Follow me." Chris turned right expecting the rest to follow. Brick pulled the rope. Nothing happened, inducing another tug. Brick tutted and joined the others.
Turning the corner he walked straight in to the stationary group. A dead end surrounded them. Chris was trying to decide which of three ropes to pull.
"What's going on?" Brick tapped Spiritwind for an answer.
"We're all on a mission to save the universe, a quest which has brought us to a distant Earth franchise planet where apathy has ground evolution to a near halt. All except for this man who invents at a worrying pace....." Brick folded his arms and tried to look disgusted. It failed as Spiritwind hadn't turned to speak.
"What's going on Bobby?" Brick asked someone else instead.
"Countless events. Some will change the lives of those involved forever, others will disappear from their conscious within moments of passing. New lives are beginning, old ones are ending. We're all existing and should be aware of that....."
Brick looked at Jam. Jam looked back with the fear of a high tree that had spotted a herd of giraffes on the horizon. Brick could tell there was no point asking and turned to The Magwanvu. After asking three times the smooth faced triple being shimmered and spoke "I'm trying to implement the silent treatment." The use of words signalled the end of their self protest. "You can't even do that right. Listen to you blabbering on. Well at least I'm trying. First chance one of you gets and you're off. How very sorry Mr Perfection......"
The light reflecting off their heads threatened Brick with a headache. He took a step back to consider how his life had turned out in such a way. The action of Chris pulling the two outer ropes, at once, startled him back into the scene. The wall that had been blocking their way slid away revealing a corridor of doors.
"Surely there are easier security systems." Dandara grew impatient.
"An inner security system on an orb where it's people cannot be bothered to roll over in their sleep. How quaint. As long as thy home is obscured from view its inside shall remain safe. You see my fine lady thon home is in constant evolution, its needs changing every moment. A hearty abode should reflect thee with thon ability to adapt. Thee ropes allow such moves. Brick open thon door to thy left." Chris inspected the door to his right while he waited.
Brick was met with confusion upon opening the wooden barrier. His view obscured by a thousand ropes moving in an equal number of directions, towards pulleys of glittering promise. "I'm guessing this is behind the scenes then?" The rest of the group peered inside, including Chris.
"Theoretically." Chris was as vague as a man could be about his own invention. He looked deep into his mind, counting numbers in the air.
"In my experience theory and reality are distant cousins. Only meeting at the occasional family party before spending their time existing on separate plains that neither can be sure exist." Jam wittered beautifully.
"A noble sentiment yon hairy one. Aha." Chris had remembered the correct door and headed straight to it. Opening it he ushered the others inside. "Thee room of space."
The room of space was aptly named, stretching the entire length of the building. Half built mechanisms littered the area, tools of varying size and completion scattered throughout. The far outer wall was made entirely from glass, the ceiling not making contact but ceasing around thirty feet from where they would meet.
The group dispersed to investigate further, mainly heading towards the enormous windows. Chris tinkered with various machines as he passed. Brick spotted a table in the distance. Suspecting its purpose he grabbed Spiritwind to help him confirm his thoughts.
The half finished machines continued out on to the sprawling lawn. A nearly complete helicopter and several versions of cranes sat proudly on the neatly trimmed grass.
Arriving at the mystery table, Brick was pleased to confirm what he'd thought. "I knew it. He's only invented snooker." Brick's joy expressed itself through a clap of the hands and rub of the palms. "Prepare to be thrashed."
"You know trash talking just makes you look stupid when I win." Spiritwind emptied the remains of a pasty into his mouth before choosing his cue.
"And so it begins." Brick chalked his own cue while Chris toyed with a megaphone he'd been waiting to test.
"I SEE YOU PULLED THE ROPE TWICE." Everyone turned, slightly startled at the burst of noise. Chris grinned, pleased the voice massiver worked. He placed it down on a semi completed printing press. The inventor picked up a unicycle and rode towards the duo. They watched, beyond curious.
"I was about to break masterfully before that interruption." Brick had an excuse ready.
"Surely a master always does so, hence his title. Doth thou decline the beverage thee requested?" Chris nodded towards a small table containing two steaming cups of liquid.
"Is that what pulling the rope did? That's very clever." Brick sniffed at the cup. His hot beverage issue niggled at his mind. Chris felt further explanation may help.
"T'is a dried out leaf stewed in hot water."
"What type of leaf?" Brick asked tentatively. He knew what was coming.
"Thon named thy tea."
"I don't do tea, really sorry."
"Apologies are not required. Pleasure stems from the success of thon inventions."
"Well if it's any consolation I'm gaining immense pleasure from this one. I can't believe you invented snooker Chris. I love snooker." Brick returned to the table.
"Snooker, interesting. Ye worked upon thon question of interplanetary physics and needed a universe to work with. Thon table emerged from my thoughts."
"Could I ask you something, Chris?" Spiritwind left Brick to his break warm-up lunges and spoke to the inventor.
"Doth it be of the ball from the clouds?" Chris was highly intuitive.
"It is yes. You're good at this guessing business."
"That was a warm up by the way." Brick glossed over his first attempt as he missed every ball on the table.
The rest of the group had naturally gravitated towards the game. Jam had been enticed by all the colours, The Magwanvu had been trying to edge away from itself and ended up in the corner, and Bobby just happened to be stood gazing out of the window within earshot. Dandara had been the only one following Chris. Filtering through his ranting there were many gems of knowledge. Bettina had followed her friend. She was happy to pick up the flirting thread with Spiritwind and made fleeting eye contact with him. Chris began his answer.
"Yon can merely repeat thy earlier words. A being of temper as short as his stature falls from the clouds in a perfect sphere. Leaving thon craft thee heads towards ye village of non movement, accompanied by a bo
x upon which sits a horn. He adorns thon box with discs of curious nature, spinning them on its top. Giggling for hours thou eventually leaves, more recently with beasts of outstanding brawn who wear suits thon disguise thee true size."
"Did the two creatures obey his every word?" Dandara took over the questioning, leaving Spiritwind to carry on with the game.
"More so. Fear overcame their very being upon thy command."
"Sounds like he's hired henchmen. He must know suspicions have been raised. How did the white sphere take off Chris? I mean return to the clouds?"
"T'was odd to see. As though the landing from before being played out in reverse. Nice shot." Chris commented on Spiritwind's shot.
"He's using a return loaded bullet ship, short range only. How many Earth franchise planets are within return load bullet shop range of here?"
"Am I expected to know that?" Bettina didn't know whether to apologise or make something up.
"I was asking the ship. Maybe now it co-operates I can get some use out of my walkie-talkie cufflinks and look like a professional." Dandara pointed to her wrists. They gleamed with small nuggets of technology.
Spiritwind watched Brick trying to concentrate on his next go. His tongue circled his face. As he waited he spoke to Chris in a hushed tone. "Have you ever thought that the person that turned up and scared you as a child could be this same fella in the sphere?"
"Thou hath tried but diversions of thee mind prevent focus. Even now as thee seeks an answer mon cannot think of anything but trees and their workings."
"Only one planet fits the criteria you seek." Dandara's ship spoke via the cufflinks with a fine coating of maturity. "You may be interested to hear it is the same planet that came second in the apathy density measurement you ran on The Tub of Fun earlier. We've been speaking in your absence. What a lovely lady she truly is. I presume you wish to explore this planet next? The co-ordinates are already entered into the navigation system. Mine and Navvy's little misunderstanding has been resolved. We're going out for coffee on Thursday. I also notified The Tub of Fun of what to expect and where we're probably heading. Hope I wasn't being too presumptuous."
"Not at all, it's surprisingly thoughtful of you."
"Just doing my job. Nice eyeliner by the way. Really brings out the inner you." Dandara felt flustered for a moment. She paused before relaying the news to the group.
"I believe we have pinpointed the base where our nemesis lies."
"Have we? That's really quite a big deal." Bettina had been busy ogling Spiritwind's head and missed the gravity of the conversation.
"That missed." Spiritwind was busy defending his call of foul on Brick's last shot.
"It did not. The ball moved ever so slightly. Didn't the ball move Jam?"
"Yes. No. Hold on. Which one's the ball?"
"If you've finished your little game." Dandara raised her point with the two players at the table. "We think we know where the big, evil bad guy's hiding out."
"The game isn't over until one person can mock the other mercilessly. That's the rule of any sport." Brick defended his love of games.
"Do you mean the big, final baddy?" Spiritwind was intrigued.
"Yes."
"The one everyone in the universe is looking for?"
"Yes."
"Then shouldn't we tell somebody who can deal with that?" Spiritwind still struggled slightly with the more pro-active side of heroics. He didn't mind reacting but actively going to fight a baddy? He wasn't sure.
"We can deal with it. We're a nine strong band of heroes with youth and energy on our side." Dandara avoided eye contact with everyone in order to maintain the belief in her words. "This could be the one chance we get to be the saviours of the universe and I for one say we should reach out and grab that opportunity with as many hands as we can combine." Dandara really wanted the promotion, and the potential chat show appearances that would come with it.
"Plus we could be wrong. We're only basing it on intuition." Bettina sensed the crowd may respond better to truth over a rousing monologue.
"Well if we might be entirely wrong let's go for it." Brick knew he couldn't win at snooker and saw an honorary way out.
"Could we wait until after this game?" Spiritwind spotted his friend's attempt to flee a loss.
"Snooker isn't the most important thing right now. Dandara and Bettina have been intuiting hard, the least we can do is listen and join in any plan making sessions. We are going to make a plan first aren't we?" Brick put down his cue. Spiritwind found an iced finger as compensation.
"Of course we'll make a plan. The key to success lies in a thorough plan. It says so in the code. Something you'd know if you ever bothered to do even the basic hero research." Dandara maintained her disdain for the Earthling's approach.
"What does the code say about half baked outlines of plans?" Brick had to ask.
"It says to expect a half baked outline of a mission to ensue."
"Would that be so terrible if the mission was still a successful one?" Brick's wink did nothing to instil confidence in his theory.
"Listen. I have an image to uphold. I can't be seen as a sloppy hero by following some half baked ideas." Dandara wasn't relenting.
"Dandara my dearest, what kind of mission do you think you've been on for the last thirty chapters? Myself and Spiritwind have our own hero code and so far it's been a hundred percent successful. Trust us." Dandara walked away from the group and the discussion. The focus followed her.
"I can't help but feel a little curious about everything you're saying." Chris' mind almost exploded at the talk of missions and bad guys.
"Don't you worry, Chris, everything will be answered in time." Brick placed his arm round Chris' shoulder and walked him towards the planning area of the room, or middle of the floor. Everyone followed in a pleasant amble, only Jam brought a ball to stare at.
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