by Paul Vayro
Chapter Thirty Six
"Surprise!" Dollop removed Hugo's blindfold to reveal the world that lay outside The Underground Tower of Crizal.
"What's this?" Hugo looked down to find a checked blanket and a hamper. A bottle of wine sat half empty, two glasses were freshly poured.
"It's a celebration picnic, to new beginnings." Dollop grimaced through his sentence, downing his third large glass of wine.
Sid had insisted the pair spend some romantic time together. He wanted the foundation of love that had sparked between them to blossom. Dollop hadn't protested for fear Sid replaced his nose with a turbot. The megalomaniac believed the further Hugo was kept from suspecting anything was wrong the better and nothing can beat the power of love when it comes to leaving someone blind, not even hot pokers with eye eating worms on the end.
"How thoughtful of you, and may I add slightly romantic." Hugo tilted his wine in his maiden's direction.
"Now Hugo let's not get carried away." Dollop slumped on to the blanket and picked up the bottle, refilling the glass he'd finished. "It's just an outdoor meal. Not romantic at all when you consider the inconvenience of eating in the wind, the tiny creatures on their quest for food, the lack of toilet facilities, the moist and bumpy floor, the....."
"All those things pale into insignificance next to the company: my purpose for breathing."
Dollop's glass quickly emptied followed by the tipping of a redundant bottle above it. The henchman rubbed his fair lips with the back of his pleasing forearm then flicked a clasp on the large hamper. The lid opened and the front lay down to reveal the insides. A host of breads, cooked meats and cheeses were neatly arranged. Cutlery had been strapped in place upon the inside of the lid. Dollop only had one interest and reached for three more bottles of the ample wine supply. The maiden continued speaking, keen to avoid a romantic pause that could lead to an attempted kiss.
"Have you thought about your new career? You'll need a job now the hero work has dried up. I don't want you under my feet all day while I'm in the castle being maideny. I have a certain lifestyle to maintain you know." Dollop tried to make the prospect of marriage to him as unappealing as possible without going as far as removing the hood from his outfit and revealing his true form.
"Hopefully there'll be a few little ones to support too." Hugo smiled like an expectant horse for a period far exceeding any natural grin. Dollop could only crush a pork pie in frustration. Tears considered welling in the monsters eyes before the moist droplets saw how terrifying the beastly orbs were and retreated back into their ducts. The etiquette of a glass was discarded as the maiden drank straight from the bottle.
"Maybe you could take that space mechanics course you mentioned? I like my men to be qualified with a secure future. These dresses aren't cheap you know. Not to mention the maintenance and cleaning bills. That dragon singeing causes mayhem with the seams."
"The future holds no fear for you or I, or our little you and I's. Just like the day I faced down The Beast of Bothersome Sounds. That was a battle etched into my soul, like so many others, but those days are gone. I realise that. But my tales shall live on as I impart them to rooms of wealthy men and women willing to pay a reasonable price per head for a fine meal and the greatest after dinner speeches their ears could ever behold. After dinner speaking shall be my new passion, and by storm or breeze I'll be the best orator the universe has ever seen." The clenched fist did nothing to wipe away the ridiculous nature of his words.
Dollop bit the top off another bottle of wine and started drinking. He felt sure after dinner speaking had been his idea. It was another gripe to add to life. Hugo continued.
"Of course finance will not be a worry. The affluent victims of terror were always very generous with their gifts. Gifts that are registered as tax free donations to the man, not the charity set up in my name. Do not fear my sweetest of hearts. We shall live the lives of kings." Hugo threw a grape high in the air, catching it in his mouth without coming close to a tooth. He turned, chewed, swallowed and grinned, again for an uncomfortable period.
"Another drink?" It was all Dollop, had.
"I see you like your wine Fayre Maiden?"
"I do. I love wine, can't get enough of it. You won't see me without a bottle." Dollop continued to sour Fayre's reputation.
"Excellent. I knew there was a party girl behind those eyes. We're going to have a lot of fun in a lot of dimensions, you and I." Dollop contemplated smashing the empty bottle over his own head in frustration. "I propose a toast to the greatest love the universe ever has, or will see. May it never become tainted by evil thoughts or actions, and may our hearts remain eternally open to each other, perhaps the greatest gift two living beings can ever offer." Hugo chinked his glass against Dollop's bottle. The disguised maiden sensed Hugo awaited a kiss.
"Are there many more bottles in there?" The henchmen tried to divert the moment.
"Enough for an army."
"Pass me another four. I've got a feeling this is going to be a long afternoon."
"A long and glorious afternoon filled with......"
"Whatever you say, Hugo, just pass me the bottles before you continue."
"I do love our playful banter."
"Yes it's marvellous. Could I have the opener too? Think I cut my tongue on that last one."
"Did I ever tell you about the time I conquered the Tongue Monster of......."
Ahriman sat at the early ends of the Earth program. Plants still dominated much of its surface, awaiting the evolution of nature's gardeners. It explained the entities naivety as it watched the couple, perceiving nothing but the fresh aroma of love between a blossoming life-long partner-ship. For now the planet also believed that life rewarded effort and that good things happen to good people, but over time cynicism would catch up to its youthful soul as the harsh reality of experience forced its way into its equation of thought.
In truth it was a good day for everyone except Dollop, but as he was getting paid it was hard to muster any sympathy, especially as it was a Sunday and he was on double time.
Contents