by Cynthia Eden
“I want you,” Tess told him. Her husky voice was music to his ears, and for her to say—despite everything—that she wanted him?
James knew he didn’t deserve her. But he’d be damned if he’d give her up without a fight.
“I don’t want you walking away. I don’t want you hiding parts of yourself from me. You’re the first person that I’ve let into my life—really in—and I don’t want to lose you.” She licked her lower lip.
Fuck, he wanted to lick that lip, too. Wanted to lick, to suck, to bite. To pretty much devour her.
Concussion, jackass. Don’t forget about her injury!
“I don’t want lies. No secrets or half-truths. You give me everything, and I’ll give you the same.”
Sounded like a good deal to him. But, before anything else happened, he should start with the most basic truth. The one that would probably drive them apart. “You shouldn’t let me touch you.” His shame. “I’ve got more blood on my hands than you can ever imagine. The last thing you should do is let me put my hands on you.” He let her go. “I’m trying to do the right thing with you. I’m not following someone else’s orders. Not being a freaking puppet. It’s my life, and I’m trying to do what’s right because you matter.” He needed her to understand. “You’re too good. I knew it from the start. But I wanted you, and when I want something, I take it. I’m not good. Or decent. To live the life I have, I needed to be dark. I needed to lose my conscience. Hell, my soul, and I did. I can’t offer you the life that others can. I can’t even offer you what that dick Devin can—the nice, easy life with a safe husband and a home with a dog and—”
“Who said I wanted easy?”
“Baby…” He shook his head. “I know you. Far better than you realize. When you came into my club that night, you were out of your element.” Yet, somehow, she’d wound up with the most dangerous bastard in the room eating from the palm of her hand.
And I’d die for her in an instant.
The thought settled heavily around his shoulders. So he just straightened under the weight and continued, “You want safe because you weren’t safe growing up. You want security—the nice house, the picket fence, the settled life—because you grew up without it. You need a boring dick like Devin because he can give you all of that—”
“I know what I need. I’m not going to lie and say I haven’t been confused before. I have been. You get hooked on one thing and think it’s the best. Think it’s what you should have. Screw that.”
He blinked.
“I walked into the club, and I wanted you. I couldn’t take my eyes off you.”
His muscles tensed.
“I went back to that club because I couldn’t get you out of my head. Anytime something bad happened, I turned to you.” She stepped toward him. Closed the space until their bodies brushed. “I know what I need and what I want. No one else has to tell me.”
It took every bit of his willpower not to grab on to her, to hold tight, and never let go.
“Safety. Yes, I do crave it. Because I was scared and alone and vulnerable and you never forget what that’s like. So I gave myself a good job and a good home and then—then some bastard came and he tried to take those things away from me.”
I will make him pay.
“My home was wrecked. I was attacked tonight by someone who left me unconscious on the floor of the hospital. Each time something bad happens, do you know what I do?”
A sharp knock sounded at the door.
“They are always rapping at my door. I am not Edgar Allan Poe,” Tess muttered. “I’m saying this, dammit. I’m saying this!” she shouted out. Tess stiffened her spine. “I turn to you.”
He couldn’t speak. The lump in his throat was too thick.
“You think you’re the bad guy? To me, you aren’t. To me, you’re the guy that I run to when I’m scared. You’re the guy I want at my side when my life is wrecked. You’re the guy who makes me feel stronger.” A faint smile curved her lips, and, for a moment, even lit her eyes. “You’re my guy.”
He’d put that on her phone, done it as a joke at the beginning but—
“I think you were my guy from the moment we met, and you still are. So don’t walk away from me. Don’t turn away.” She reached for his hand. Curled her fingers with his. “And don’t stop touching me.” She lifted his hand to her lips and pressed a kiss to his knuckles. “I can be mad as hell at you—you should have told me that you dug into my past—but I don’t want to lose you. I’m not ready to lose you.”
“You won’t.” She wanted him? She needed him? He could barely believe what she’d told him, but if Tess was choosing him, there would be no way in hell he’d walk away from her.
“Yes, ahem.” Cole cleared his throat very, very loudly from the other side of the door. “I need to talk with my partner. And it’s pretty damn important.”
Tess’s brow furrowed. “Who is his partner?”
“Yeah, about that…” She was still holding his hand. It was nice. He liked holding hands with Tess. “Seems I was offered the job. Wilde wants me to come on board as an agent.”
Her lashes flickered. “That means…you’ll be leaving Savannah?” He’d told her a bit more about Wilde, including the fact that the company had headquarters in Atlanta.
“That means I haven’t taken the job, and Cole isn’t my partner.” Once, he’d thought working with Wilde would be exactly what he needed. A way to atone for the sins from his past. But taking what Wilde offered would mean leaving Tess.
Not even a contest.
“I have news from Eric,” Cole continued grimly. Loudly. “It’s news you’ll want to hear, man. Trust me.”
He didn’t trust him, though. That was the problem. In this world, he pretty much trusted…
Tess.
“Eric is the one in charge of Wilde,” Tess said.
He nodded.
He’d told her that, too. Given her some brief details about the fellow.
“Then we’d better hear what he has to say.” She let go of his hand and opened the bedroom door.
Cole tugged at his collar. The tattoos that peaked beneath the sleeve of his shirt twisted and coiled, moving a bit like a snake that wanted to strike. “Sorry to interrupt, but there is news you need to hear, James.”
Blair and Linc stood a few feet behind him.
Cole motioned James forward. “We should talk privately.”
Privately was code for without Tess. That shit wasn’t happening. “She hears everything. No secrets. Not anymore.”
Blair let out a little sigh. “Glad we all got the memo on that one.” Her gaze slanted toward Linc. “Some people understand how dangerous secrets can be. Downright toxic to a relationship. I mean, a partnership.”
“I am fucking sorry,” Linc rumbled.
James didn’t have time for their drama.
Tess squeezed his hand. They left the bedroom.
Cole drew in a few deep, seemingly time-wasting breaths and then announced, “Eric thinks your cover may be blown. He received a tip from an informant that one of your old bosses sold out some agents. It’s possible your name was included. The former handler is dead and buried, so not like we can get him to tell us for certain, but Eric was concerned enough that he sent us down here because he wanted to make sure you had backup if trouble came knocking at your door.”
James waited.
Cole looked intense…and that was all.
Oh, right. James figured the others were waiting for his response. “I already knew this.”
“You did?” Cole squinted at him.
Of course, he did. “Three Wilde agents showed up at my club. Only takes one to offer me a job. Hell, it takes a phone call to do that shit. I know how Eric works. The guy takes caution to an extreme. He wanted backup here for me, so he got it.” James shrugged.
“Well, damn. Steal my thunder, why don’t you?” Cole rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Okay, fine, we’re all on the same page now. It’s time for a battle pla
n. Because I’m really not the type to just sit around while the bad guys close in. Makes me twitchy.”
“Probably something from your Delta Force days.”
Cole stopped rubbing his nose. “How’d you know about that?”
“The same way I know Linc over there is a former Atlanta detective and Blair…well…” His gaze raked her. “Blair, you’re an all-together different manner of agent, aren’t you? I have to admit, I was impressed by your resume, and I’m not easily impressed.”
“Don’t.” The one word seemed torn from Blair.
Tess poked him in the side. Hard. “Sorry. I’ve just discovered that’s one of his things. He’s a prier.”
Linc had moved protectively closer Blair. Though from what James had learned about the woman, she didn’t need anyone’s protection.
“You dug into our pasts?” Linc demanded.
“Guilty.”
Linc’s lips parted, but before he could reply, Cole pointed at Tess. “He dug into your life, too, didn’t he? That why the two of you were fighting when we first arrived?”
She gave a curt nod.
“Women don’t like that shit, man.” Cole whistled. “It’s like dating 101. You don’t dig up the past. People share what they want to share. The rest you leave the hell alone. If it’s buried, it’s in the ground for a reason.”
“Sorry. I missed dating 101 and went straight to kill-the-bad-guy 201.”
Cole flipped him off.
“I had to know who was around me.” All right, dammit, now he felt bad about investigating them, too. He’d never felt badly before, not until Tess. The woman was becoming his freaking conscience. “If my past was catching up to me, I had to be sure one of you wasn’t here to sell me out.”
“Not us.” Linc’s brows climbed. “Looks like the handler from your past might be the one who did that.”
“Cameron Queen.” He knew exactly which handler was to blame. “And, yes, the bastard sold out others. I worked with him—only briefly—so I thought he’d lost the trail on me. Maybe I was wrong.” He looked at Tess. Hated to tell her, but, “And if I was wrong, if the people who want to hurt me are in this town, then I’m the reason you’ve been targeted. They think they can hurt me by going after you.”
“Are they right?” Linc asked, voice quiet.
“Yeah.” James leaned forward and pressed his forehead to Tess’s. “They are.”
***
James stalked out of Tess’s bedroom and headed for the kitchen.
“Are we going to talk now?” Cole demanded as he sprawled on the couch.
James stilled. He’d known the guy was still out there, of course. Linc and Blair had left hours ago, but Cole was sticking close. Cole kept claiming he was James’s new partner and that meant they were supposed to stick together like glue.
James wasn’t exactly in the mood to be glue.
“She asleep?” Cole asked, glancing toward the closed bedroom door.
“I think so.” He wanted her like hell on fire, but with Cole just beyond the door—and Tess sporting a concussion—he hadn’t been about to take things to the next level. So he’d held her. Funny thing. He liked holding her almost as much as making love to her. She was soft and warm in his arms, and he enjoyed the way she snuggled against him.
She felt right. She felt good. She felt like the woman he never, ever wanted to let go.
“Good. Then we can drop the BS.”
James walked toward him. “I wasn’t aware that I was bullshitting you.”
“No. Maybe you were bullshitting her.” Another glance at the closed door. “Because we both know the bastard could be from her past. Hell, seeing as how the attacks are focused on her, that’s where my money is, too. I mean, I get it, you’re trying to take the heat. Maybe you think that by acting like it’s your past rearing its God-awful head, you give her some kind of comfort or something.” His lips twisted. “Whatever. You’re obsessed with her, you’re in love with her, and you want to do anything to keep her safe.”
“I’m not.”
Cole blinked. “You’re not willing to do anything to keep her safe?”
Of course, he would do anything to keep her safe. “I’m…not in love with her.”
Cole stared at him. Hard.
Chapter Thirteen
No good ever came from eavesdropping. She knew this, yet Tess had still tip-toed out of the bed as soon as she’d realized that James wasn’t there. She’d missed him. Had actually felt his warmth slip away from her. So she’d gotten up. She’d headed for the door. She’d heard voices.
And she’d eavesdropped. Her choice.
That meant she had no one else to blame for the pain spiraling through her.
I’m…not in love with her.
Crap. That hurt. It pierced straight to her heart, and the impact of that pain took her breath.
While she was struggling to pull air into her lungs, she heard James say—
“You don’t need to be concerned with how I feel about Tess.”
“Yeah, well, how you feel about her is messing with your head. You’re locked on her so hard that you screwed up.”
James had screwed up? When? She pressed closer to the door.
“You were seen at Frederick Waller’s place. Don’t look surprised. I got the full four-one-one on that with a little digging while you were tucking your lady in tonight.”
Tucking her in? Seriously? Jerk.
“The big, bad Ghost is never seen. You slip in and you slip out, and you just leave death in your wake. I mean, you are your own freaking urban legend, man.”
“I like to think of myself as a superhero, thanks.”
“Uh, you mean super villain, don’t you?”
Tess pressed her ear to the wood of the door. If only there was a drinking glass nearby that she could use. Their words were mostly clear, but she didn’t want to miss anything.
“You slipped up because you’re too involved with her. She’s in your head, and you’re not thinking clearly. That’s why you were spotted at Waller’s.”
“I’m not so sure I was spotted. The detective didn’t give me the witness’s name or any other identifying info. For all I know, he was bluffing. Trying to push some kind of confession out of me because he thought it was amateur hour.”
“Sure, okay. That could be one option. Option two is that you got sloppy and you were seen.”
“And option three is that I’m being framed. Because, you see, I did put a knife to Frederick’s throat in that alley.”
Oh, God. Tess put a hand to her throat and accidentally rammed her elbow into the door.
Silence.
Maybe she should tip-toe back to the bed. Really, really quickly.
“I put the knife to his throat, and I told him that if he came near Tess again, if he tried to hurt her, he was dead.”
“This stuff? This craziness right here? It’s why I said you were more villain than hero. You can’t go up to someone in a dark alley, put a knife to the person’s throat, and make threats! That is not normal human behavior. That’s not what the good guy does.”
“It wasn’t a threat. He wasn’t going to hurt her again.”
Cole coughed. “No, he clearly will not hurt her again.”
“If someone from my past is stalking me now, that SOB could have seen me with Frederick in the alley. Decided to finish what I started in order to make me look like Frederick’s killer.”
“Okay, sorry, excuse my confusion, but how does framing you help someone from your past who wants you dead? Not connecting the dots there, partner.”
She wasn’t, either.
“You’re right. It doesn’t help anyone from my past.” James’s voice was lower as he delivered this conclusion, and Tess had to strain to hear him.
“That’s what I was thinking.” Cole, however, was blessedly clear with his loud voice. So clear that Tess began to wonder…
Does he know I’m listening?
“But if a frame job gets you out
of the way, if it gets you shoved into a cell some place,” Cole continued doggedly, “then, suddenly, the lovely Dr. Barrett is all alone. Seems to me that it would make more sense if the perp was someone from her past. Someone who wanted to separate her from you.”
“Good thing I’m not Tess’s only protection.”
“Yeah, it’s a good thing.” A beat of silence. “You know that I had to dig into the good doctor’s history.”
Her control snapped. Tess yanked open the bedroom door. “Does everyone need to know every dark secret that I have? Does everyone—”
James was a few steps in front of her. Waiting, with his arms crossed over his chest.
She stopped. “You knew I was listening.”
“Not the whole time. Only caught on at the end.”
“I knew,” Cole offered up, seemingly helpful. “I mean, I suspected.”
So he’d deliberately been asking his questions to mess with her?
“And we all have dirty secrets. Some of us are just better at hiding them than others.” Sympathy softened Cole’s expression. “When you were thirteen, you were attacked. Pumped full of a drug cocktail mix.”
“Yes.” Goosebumps were on her skin.
“You weren’t the only one.”
Her lips parted. Her gaze jumped between him and James. “What?”
“Once we started digging, Wilde found a few connections. The victims were in other cities, that’s what made them hard to spot initially. Young girls, mostly runaways. They were found, typically tossed in alleys, with a mix of drugs in their systems that would have made them incapable of fighting off an attacker. Four dead girls were recovered.”
She felt sick.
“After your attack, the MO stopped. No more twelve and thirteen-year-old girls found in alleys like broken dolls, with their bodies pumped full of a mix of street drugs. Wilde is still digging, and trust me, our techs can put together profiles on killers and vics like you wouldn’t believe, but this perp’s victims ended with you.”
Her spine straightened. “Because I killed him.”
James didn’t look away from her. “No body, Tess. I dug, too, with Barnes helping me. If you’d killed the SOB in that alley, he would have been found there.”