by Cynthia Eden
“Maybe he managed to drive away from the alley. Maybe he died somewhere else.” That was what she’d always told herself, even as she kept looking over her shoulder.
“That’s possible.” Cole was pacing. “In fact, I think it’s the most likely scenario. He got away from the alley. And he died somewhere else. Because guys like him—guys who prey on victims, guys who are sick and twisted on the inside and driven by their compulsions—they don’t just stop. This bastard did. After you, he stopped. No more vics who fit the profile. As far as Wilde is concerned, he disappeared from the radar.”
She pulled in a breath that seemed to chill her lungs.
“But even sick freaks have families. They have people who are attached to them. Who might want vengeance.” Cole stopped pacing. “It’s possible that’s what we’re looking at here.”
“How would the person even know it was me? How would he know what I did?”
Face grim, Cole replied, “He’d know because he knew your attacker’s MO, too. Because he dug, just like Wilde did. Just like James did. Because he found a thirteen-year-old girl who entered a hospital with so many street drugs in her system it was a miracle that she survived.”
James wasn’t talking. Just watching her with his intense gaze. And she was scared. “Why wait this long? If he knew the truth, why not come after me sooner?”
“Yeah.” Cole winced. “On that one, I have no fucking clue. Haven’t worked that part out yet. Give me some additional time.”
This was crazy.
“Unless there was a trigger.” Cole tilted his head. “Something that set the bastard off. Something that made him attack and stop the waiting game.”
“You’re saying he’s known about me for years? But that he only came after me now?”
“I’m just telling you my suspicions. If I’m right, a man like that—someone who has waited and watched you so long—” But Cole stopped and clamped his lips together.
“Oh, seriously? Now you’re going to stop?” She marched forward.
James caught her wrist. His fingers feathered over her pulse. “He would have watched you and gotten attached.”
Her head turned. The gold of his gaze was burning.
A muscle flexed in his jaw as James carefully stroked her inner wrist. “He would have watched and waited, and he could have stayed very, very close. So close that he was in your life. Part of your life, and you didn’t know it.”
“You think he could be someone I know?” Oh, God. “A friend?”
“Doesn’t have to be a friend. Could be someone on your periphery. But he’d be close enough that he could watch you. Close enough to study you. Close enough to feel like you belonged to him.”
“I don’t belong to anyone.”
“He thinks you do.” James’s mouth tightened. “And if we’re looking for a trigger, something that might have set off the bastard, then I know what it could have been.”
Her heart shoved into her chest. “What?”
“Me.”
Cole closed in. “That’s a definite option.”
James focused only on her. “I came into your life. I took you away from him. I took you. And he acted. He tried to get me out of the way. He tried to punish you for being with me.”
“This is sick. This is out of control.”
A bitter laugh came from Cole. “This is the kind of shit that Wilde handles. We take care of the stalkers, the nut jobs, the madness. We’ve got this. You don’t need to worry.”
Easy to say, when it wasn’t his life on the line. “So we have two big choices. The guy doing this is from my past. A freak who is obsessed with me and wants both vengeance for what I did and—”
“You,” Cole supplied darkly. “I think he wants you.”
“Not happening.” James’s face had darkened with fury.
“Yes, I don’t want that to happen. Let’s put that very much in the no column.” Tess tried to take lots of deep breaths. “Our second choice is that the bad guy is from James’s past. Probably some super criminal who kills for fun and is used to hurting people.”
Cole inclined his head toward her. “Good job. I’d say that sums up our villain choices nicely.”
There was nothing nice about the situation. It was a mess. A nightmare. Only there wasn’t going to be any waking up from this bad dream.
***
“Why is there a hot guy on your couch?” Marilyn stood inside of Tess’s kitchen, her body practically vibrating with curiosity and her eyebrows doing a very meaningful wiggle. “As if I didn’t know, you sneaky new sex kitten—”
James strolled out of the bathroom, a towel around his hips and his muscled chest deliciously bare.
Marilyn gave a little moan. “Ohmygosh. You have two men here? Two? When Latonya and I told you to do some bad things, we had no idea that you were going to let this wild side out.” She bounced. “I am so proud of you. When you go bad, you go bad.”
James stopped. Narrowed his eyes. “She is not sleeping with Cole.”
Cole waved from the couch. “Hi! No, she’s not sleeping with me, though, of course, if Tess was interested, I’d be happy to oblige—”
James jerked his head toward Cole. “Don’t make me kick your ass first thing in the morning. I haven’t even had my coffee yet.”
Cole slumped back down. “No ass kicking required.”
James growled and stalked down the hallway.
Tess lifted her hair and twisted it into a messy bun. “I’m not sleeping with both of them.”
Marilyn hopped onto the counter stool. “I can see that James isn’t the sharing sort.”
“Definitely not.” And she didn’t want anyone else. Just him.
“So what is going on here?” Marilyn motioned toward Cole. “And, damn, but this place looks great. When you told me there was a break-in, I was expecting chaos. That’s why I stopped by this morning. To try and help you clean up.” She tucked a lock of blonde hair behind her ear. Her gold hoop ear-ring swayed with the movement. “But everything looks just as spotless as always. I guess the thief didn’t break anything, huh?”
“The place was a wreck.” She reached for a mug of coffee. Enjoyed the warmth from the mug against her fingers. “James just fixed it up for me.”
“Isn’t he handy?” A light laugh from Marilyn. “Makes me wish I’d seen him before you did. Then I could have called dibs.”
Her gaze cut up to her friend.
Marilyn smiled. “I guess you’re not the sharing sort, either, huh?”
“No. I guess I’m not.”
Marilyn leaned toward her. “What if you hadn’t gone to the club that night? Do you ever think about that? I’m the one who dragged you there, so I guess you need to be thanking me, don’t you?”
If she hadn’t gone to the club…
She wouldn’t have met James. Wouldn’t have taken one look at him and not been able to look away.
And what would everything else be like? No break-in? No attack? Some crazy guy still stalking her in silence?
Without James, there would be no passion. No sense of safety. No soft smiles. No—
“Are you in love with him?”
She heard a door open behind her. She should keep her mouth shut. Or she could offer a denial. James had done that last night. She didn’t have to say anything. But…
But she was tired of not saying what she really felt. Tired of being afraid to feel. That was how she’d been, before him. Tess had been walking along, moving in some kind of void, then she’d found him and everything had sort of exploded. “Yes.”
Marilyn blinked. “Say that again?”
Behind Tess, there was the quick sound of a breath being sucked in—very, very sharply.
“I said…” Tess made her voice nice and loud. “I’m in love with James.”
Marilyn’s face went slack with shock. “You’re kidding me.”
“No.”
“But I was only teasing when I asked you that question! You just met him—”<
br />
Tess shrugged. “Sometimes, you know the truth quickly.”
“Do you know him?” Marilyn leaned forward a bit more. “Really, really know him? Because I’ve been hearing some shady whispers at his club.” Her voice was low. “That assistant of his, Barnes, he’s been telling me some things that make me nervous as all hell.” She was whispering now as she added, “Look, I get that the sex must be good but good sex isn’t love, and if you’d had more good sex before in your life, you’d realize the difference—”
“He doesn’t love me.” Now her voice was low, too, and her cheeks stung. So much for her big moment of bravery. James was hearing all of this, and she got that Marilyn was trying to look out for her, just as she’d done before, but this time was different. Tess didn’t need anyone looking out for her. “And it’s okay. I know what I’m doing with him.”
“Do you?” Marilyn didn’t look convinced. She slanted an angry glance over Tess’s shoulder. “And why the hell doesn’t he love you?” Now her voice was raised. Belligerent. “You’re freaking lovable! One of the most lovable people I’ve ever met!”
“Thanks for visiting today, Marilyn.” Uh, oh. James sounded all curt. “But I need to talk with Tess right now.”
Marilyn hopped off the stool and headed for him with the determination of an attack dog. She put her hands on her hips and glared at James. “You just using my friend? You just want her for sex?”
Tess moved to stand between them. “We’re using each other.”
“Bull!” Marilyn didn’t seem to be buying that line. “You told me that you loved him.” Her right hand flew up as she pointed around Tess and at James. “But you don’t love my best friend? Why the hell not?”
Tess wasn’t in the mood to hear the reasons why not. “It’s okay, Marilyn. I know what I’m doing.”
“It’s not okay!” She shook her head. “He doesn’t deserve you. I hear he’s little more than a criminal. Some guy who collects things because his life is empty. What do you think you’re doing now, James? Collecting her? Collecting something good? Because you are not going to—”
“Enough.” Tess kept her voice flat as she added, “You don’t need to protect me. James isn’t here to hurt me. I went into our relationship with my eyes wide open, and they are still open. I love him, but I’m not looking for him to love me back.”
“You should be, though. We all deserve love.” Marilyn sniffed. Slanted another glare at James. “Well, maybe not all of us.” She peered at Tess once more. “When I dragged you to his club, I wanted you to have a night of fun. To see what being wild could feel like.” For a moment, it seemed that tears gleamed in her eyes. “I didn’t want this. I never wanted this.”
“I want this,” Tess told her. “I want him.”
Marilyn backed up a step. “Then I hope you’re happy with what you want.” A nod. “And if you need me, you know where I am.” She straightened her shoulders. “I’m already late for my shift. I have to go. Just watch yourself, all right?”
Tess nodded.
“Because you’re too trusting. You believe in the wrong people.” Marilyn’s gaze lingered on James. “I think that’s going to get you hurt in the end.”
Chapter Fourteen
She didn’t love him. Of course, she didn’t love him. James had just walked Cole out—okay, he’d thrown Cole out because he wanted to be alone with Tess so they could clear the air. Without an audience.
She didn’t love him. Couldn’t love him. She wanted him. The sex was good. No, great. It was fucking awesome. But that wasn’t love. Tess was probably confused because of all that had happened. Adrenaline rushes could be major bitches. They’d mess with your mind and make you think you were feeling something that you weren’t. Intense emotions led to confusion, and there was no way—
He spun toward her. She still stood in the kitchen, near the gleaming counter. “When you said you were in love with me, you—you didn’t mean it.” A stark pause. “Did you?” His voice was strained.
She’d put her hair in the bun that drove him crazy. The one that exposed the slender column of her throat, and, thank Christ, the bruising there had finally started to fade.
He stalked toward her. “Tess?” She hadn’t answered him. Of course, maybe that was an answer. No, no, there was no way she loved him. “I get it.”
“I don’t think you do.” Her brows lowered.
His heart thundered in his ears. “Why did you tell her that you loved me?”
She tilted her head to the side. Tapped her cute chin right in the dimple he adored. “Let me think. Oh, yes, because I love you.”
He stopped. Frowned. Shook his head. Couldn’t dare to hope—no.
“I said it because I meant the words. I didn’t see a point in lying.”
James could barely hear because his heart thundered so freaking loudly. “The sex is great.”
“Yes, yes, it is. Appreciate you noticing.”
“There’s been a lot of danger.”
“Again. True point.”
“Danger leads to adrenaline. Adrenaline leads to confusion. When you’re experiencing an adrenaline rush, you feel things that you don’t always interpret the right way.”
Her expression shifted. Became curious. “Why are you afraid?”
“I’m not.” An instant denial.
She was the one to close the last of the distance between them before she lifted her hand and placed it over his racing heart. “Yes, you are.” Her gaze searched his. “I think you’re afraid for me to love you.”
If possible, his heart thundered even faster beneath her touch.
“I’m not asking you for anything,” she continued in her careful, husky voice. “I was simply stating a fact to Marilyn. I love you. I didn’t mean for it to happen, it just did.”
James gave a hard, negative shake of his head. “You should ask me for something.” Anger burned in his gut. Anger directed at himself. “You should ask me for the whole world.” Because she deserved it. He wanted to give her everything—
But Tess was asking him for absolutely nothing.
A faint line appeared between her eyebrows. “Why would I ask for something? I heard you last night. You don’t love me.”
His heart stopped. Just stopped.
For a moment, all he could hear was silence. Thick and consuming. Then his heart was racing again. Bam. Bam. Bam. “Lie,” he forced out that one word.
Her lashes fluttered. “I’m not lying to you.”
No, no, she wasn’t the liar. She wasn’t the dangerous one. She wasn’t the one with secrets and pain and a life of deceit. That was him. He closed his hands around her waist and lifted her up, carrying her back toward the counter.
“James?”
He sat her on the counter. Stood between her legs. Kept his hands around her waist. And tried to breathe.
But with every breath, he pulled in her scent. Sweet vanilla cream.
She was all he could see.
All he could feel.
All he could ever want.
“I hurt you,” he muttered.
Tess shook her head.
“You heard what I said last night, and it hurt you.”
“It did. Yes.”
She was gutting him. “I’m so fucking sorry, baby.” He’d promised he wouldn’t hurt her. And he hadn’t just been talking about physical pain. There were so many ways to hurt in this world. He’d never wanted Tess hurt. Never.
“You can’t make someone love you.” She was all serious. So solemn. “It doesn’t work that way. I understand that. I’m not asking for anything, I told you that, I just want—”
“I want you to ask me for something.” His voice had turned savage. “I want you to ask me for everything in this world, and then I want to give it to you. I want you to have everything.”
Tess’s eyes widened.
“I lied. Not like it’s the first time. And it won’t be the last. Since I’ve been a teen, my life has been a lie. I’ve been a hundred diff
erent people. Sometimes, I’m not even sure who I really am anymore.” No, that wasn’t completely true either. “I know when I’m with you.” His hold tightened on her waist. “I know who I am and who I want to be.” He kissed her. His mouth took hers in a firestorm of need and desire. No control. No finesse. Just desperate, starving hunger. A lust that would never be sated. A craving that would never end.
Her hands rose and pushed between them. Her breath came in pants as she stared at him. “What are you saying?”
She thought he didn’t love her? “I wanted you from the first moment I saw you.”
“Lust has been easy for us.”
She didn’t understand because he was making a mess of things. He was trying to explain that he could control his lust with anyone, but her. There was no control with her. “How’s your head?”
The little line between her brows grew deeper. “It’s fine.”
“The concussion? You’re okay? You’re sure—”
“I’m fine.”
He kissed her again. Dipped his tongue into the sweetness of her mouth. “I want you, but only if the sex won’t hurt you.”
“Trust me. I’m a doctor. I’m fine.” She grabbed the bottom of his t-shirt and shoved it over his head. “I want you. Like I said, lust is easy for us.”
“No.” His shirt hit the floor. “This isn’t lust.”
“Sure feels that way to me.”
“You’re more. We are more.” They were alone now. It was safe. “I trust you. Only you.”
“James…”
“No one else can be used against me. I don’t care enough about anyone else. You are different. You got past my guard. You got to me when no one else could. I want you. I need you.” Dammit, say it. He had to man the hell up and say—“I love you.”
Her dark eyes widened. “But you told Cole—”
“I don’t trust him. You don’t give people weapons when you don’t trust them not to turn around and fire a bullet right into your heart.” She was the bullet. She was his weakness. One he’d never expected to have. When Cole had asked if he loved her, James had responded instinctively, wanting to protect her. A denial should have brought her protection.