His Holiday Crush

by Cari Z

  That threw me for a bit of a loop, but… “Sure. Let me go and get it.”

  After I handed over the basic red, yellow, blue, and green bottles, Max and I both stood back and watched as the girls experimented with the dyes, spattering drops, squeezing streaks and making attempts to mix them into new colors in the snow. Five minutes in, it looked like a rainbow had been brutally murdered by our snowman crime family, but the girls were having a fantastic time.

  “I’m not sorry that they’re handling this part by themselves,” Max said quietly from his place beside me. “I love them, but this is the only jacket I brought.” It was a luxurious one, too, way nicer than my old camo coat, with a sheepskin collar and dark brown leather that looked like it would feel silky soft under my hand.

  Or someone’s hand.

  Anyone’s hand.

  “It’s nice that they’re old enough to entertain themselves pretty well most of the time,” I agreed. “Marnie is really good at including Steph.”

  Max looked contemplative. “I remember how adamant Ariel was that she was done after Marnie. Hal told me he’d basically given up on more kids, and then all of a sudden she changed her mind on Marnie’s second birthday.”

  I didn’t want to talk about Ariel—I already knew I didn’t have anything nice to say. “She’s never been really consistent,” I managed in an even tone. Max glanced sidelong at me, one eyebrow raised. Shit, maybe that hadn’t been even enough. I knew he’d been friendly with her, not just for Hal’s sake, either—he and Ariel had run the drama club back in high school.

  “Talk to me a little about Steph.”

  Thank goodness for people who read the room. Not that Steph was a particularly easy subject right now, either, but she was better than talking about her mother. “About the not-talking thing?”

  He nodded.

  I exhaled harshly. “She hasn’t handled her mom’s departure very well,” I said. “Ariel dropped her off at kindergarten that morning. She was supposed to be back to pick her up at noon, and of course she didn’t show. The teacher tried to call her, and when that didn’t work, she called Hal. He called me, I got the rest of the cops involved, and we started a search.

  “The whole time, Hal had to be strong for Steph, tell her that Mommy was fine, that she was going to be back soon, though he was worried she’d driven into a ditch somewhere.” I shook my head. “Marnie was more obviously bothered by it all when she found out that Ariel was missing, while Steph…she internalized it, in some way. By the time Ariel made contact three days later, Steph had completely stopped communicating. She didn’t say a damn word to her mother over the phone.” Ariel had cried. But if anyone deserved to cry over this clusterfuck, it was her.

  “Steph is communicating with her counselor some now, though, and she’s participating in school again. She’ll speak every once in a while to Marnie, and sometimes to Hal, but for the most part, she stays quiet.” It was disconcerting, watching my niece go from a bubbly, outgoing girl to a silent, grave little phantom of a child. Five-year-olds were meant to be exuberant, and I sometimes worried that Ariel had stolen her daughter’s vivacity when she abandoned her.

  Max winced and shook his head. “I can’t believe she put everyone through that. That’s rough.”

  It was, but dwelling on it wasn’t going to make things any better. Ariel was out of the picture for good now. We had to work at moving on, and I was determined not to look back. “She’s getting better,” I said firmly. “She’s got Hal and Marnie, and she’s got me.” I glanced at Max. “She seems to like you, too.”

  Max smiled, and the mood lightened along with his expression. “Steph’s always been my buddy. Marnie is everyone’s friend, but her little sister had a reputation of being choosy from infanthood. I was sure the first time I met her that she was going to hate me. She was just six months old, and she hadn’t even let Christine hold her for more than five minutes without yelling her face red yet. When Hal handed her to me, though, I held her up and looked her in the eyes and…” He shrugged. “She settled for me right away, let me put her down to sleep that night without a single tear.”

  “That was when they visited you in New York, right?” My vision of Max as a corporate shark with a swank Manhattan apartment wasn’t really jiving with the reality of Hal and his young family spending a long weekend with him there every year.

  “Yeah. Hal and Ariel brought a travel cot for Steph and set up in my room, and Marnie and I sacked out on the couches in the living room.” I don’t know what my face looked like, but whatever it was made Max laugh. “What, you think I can afford more than one bedroom in New York City? I’m lucky the kitchen and the bathroom have most of a wall between them—they literally share a sink. It’s a long one, built into the same countertop, look.” He pulled out his phone and scrolled for a minute then handed it over to me.

  There was the kitchen…and there was the bathroom…and there was… “What the hell?” I marveled. “How can the landlords get away with this setup?”

  “You’d be stunned what you can get away with calling an apartment in New York,” Max said. “I went to law school with a guy who slept in a walled-off section of a locker room. He said all the tile made it pretty easy to keep clean, actually.”

  “A used locker room? Like, an active one?” Max nodded with mock solemnity. “Jesus Christ, I’m feeling way better about having to deal with something as mundane as rats now.”

  “I’m glad I could help.”

  He looked like he was about to say more, then Marnie piped up, “Uncle Nicky, I got green in my scarf!”

  …

  One hasty wash-and-dry cycle and an early lunch later—my snowman grilled cheeses were amazing, as usual—and Hal was back to take over minding the girls while I drove Max over to talk to the mechanic who’d taken in his car. Unfortunately, the news was nothing good. I glazed over at “cracked cylinder head” and waited out the mechanic’s prediction of a week to get parts in and get the repairs done.

  Aside from a clenched jaw and a long exhale, Max took that pretty well, honestly, but then—

  “Since you’re here, are you gonna see the old man while you’re waiting on your car?” the mechanic asked, trying for casual but failing miserably. Of course he knew who Max was—the family name was distinctive, and being a busybody was pretty much everyone’s side hustle in this town.

  Max had stiffened, his smile fixed in place like a wax figure. “No,” was all he said.

  After we left, we jumped back in the Jeep, and I let it idle while the heater worked its magic. Max was still tense if the tick in his jaw was any indication, so instead of heading straight back to Hal’s, I asked, “I know you mentioned work this morning, but do you want to take a walk?”

  He’d mentioned wanting to go to Adirondack Park, and now seemed as good a time as any for it. Besides, Hal had things under control at home, and I was kind of looking forward to having a little more one-on-one time with Max.

  “Sure,” he said after a moment. I didn’t give him a chance to second-guess, just fired up the Jeep and drove for the trailhead.

  Technically, Edgewood was already part of Adirondack Park. The park itself was a combination of state and private land, and there were lots of little villages and towns like ours inside of it. There was a pretty big balancing act between allowing private owners the freedom to do what they wanted with their land and preserving the landscape for wildlife and recreation, but most people agreed that what the tourists wanted, the tourists got, and that meant the conservationists had won out over the clear-cutters for now.

  It also meant that getting into an uninhabited but well-walked part of the Park was pretty easy. The trailhead was just a ten-minute drive from the mechanic’s. We started hiking from there, up a steady incline that traced a path around the well-wooded hill ahead of us until it reached the very top, where the trees had been cleared to give hikers a b
etter view.

  “I like this trail,” he shared as we stepped side-by-side along the slightly icy path. “Hal and I used to ride our bikes here all the time when we were little. We liked to pretend we were explorers looking for wild animals. We never saw any bears or bobcats, though.” He half smiled. “Which is probably for the best.”

  “I used to follow you sometimes.” I said it before my brain could take it back. Way to set yourself up looking pathetic, Dominic. The way Max was looking at me didn’t make me feel pathetic, though. There wasn’t a hint of pity in his face—only curiosity.

  “Why didn’t you say anything?”

  I shrugged. “I didn’t want to interrupt. You were Hal’s friend, you know? Not mine. He was pretty good about sharing things, but I don’t think he’d have shared you back then.”

  To his credit, Max didn’t immediately leap to defend my brother, who I knew full well had gone through a little-shit phase in middle school. “Maybe not,” he said at last. “I like getting the chance to get to know you now, though.” He sighed. “I feel like an idiot for not recognizing you when you picked me up, but I’m kind of glad I didn’t, too. It gave me a chance to meet you before the past started butting in.”

  God, if that wasn’t an opening line, I didn’t know how to recognize one. I still didn’t leap, though. I was too nervous. Last night had been good, this morning had been better, but…what was this all about? What did Max want? To be better friends with his bestie’s brother, or something more?

  “I kind of wish we could have met again somewhere else, though,” Max said before I could ask any of the questions buzzing around in my brain. “I know I’m ‘interesting’ to people, given everything that happened with my dad and the fact that I haven’t been here for so long, but honestly? I can handle an eighty-hour work week way better than I can handle questions about the past. Having to think about everything that happened before my mom and I left feels…overwhelming.”

  Wow. I’d just gotten more honesty than I’d been hoping for. It took a moment for me to process it all, and Max’s smile started to slip away. “I know it’s kind of pathetic, but—”

  “It’s not pathetic. Overwhelming sucks,” I said before I lost my nerve. “I had a hell of a time at first when I left the military. There are a lot of companies in bigger cities that advocate for hiring vets, but I just couldn’t handle being around so many people. I came back here just to take a breather, at first, but even with the nosiness—and people asked me a ton of questions when I first got back, it was ridiculous—I can handle a small town way better. Plus the police were hiring, and I met the qualifications, and…” I shrugged. “It just came together.”

  “I can’t imagine moving out of the city.”

  I knew a lot of people felt that way about urban living, but I personally couldn’t fathom it. “Doesn’t it get kind of lonely?”

  Max chuckled. “It never gets lonely. That’s part of the charm—you’ve always got people around you.”

  “Yeah, but you don’t know most of them, right?”

  “That’s also part of the charm,” he replied wryly. “Although I’ve always had the best time when Hal and the girls came out for the holidays.”

  I wasn’t surprised. “He was really supportive about me coming back here when I finished my tour,” I said, looking down at my feet to make sure I didn’t slip and fall on my face.

  I didn’t want to bore Max with details about my life, but when I glanced over, he was looking right at me with nothing but genuine interest in his face. “He set me up in my old room in the basement, told me I could stay as long as I wanted to. I didn’t want to intrude in their family life, though, so I bought my own place as fast as I could.”

  “Hence the remodel with the rats.”

  “Yeah. It was the best thing I could find in my budget, and even then…” I wagged my hand back and forth, to indicate the sketchy nature of my living arrangement. I didn’t regret buying the house, but there was a lot that needed to happen before I could do something like have the girls over or think about bringing a date home. “Hal’s offered to help me out with it, but he’s working all hours these days, and I don’t want to dig into his off time.”

  “You should let me take a look. I’m good with all kinds of tools.”

  “I bet you are,” I muttered, and Max laughed. He laughed hard enough he slipped on the ice, and it was only a quick reach for his elbow on my part that kept him from going down onto his knees. Although… Shit, I needed to get my mind out of the gutter.

  Max wiped the corners of his eyes. “Thanks.” He didn’t pull out of my grasp, and I didn’t immediately let go, either. “How about tonight?” he offered.

  My heart started to beat so hard it hammered against my rib cage. Was this really happening? Was my crush really volunteering to help rebuild my house? “Y-Yeah. That would be great.”

  Max beamed. “Great.”

  Oh damn. This was really happening.

  Chapter Five

  Max

  It should have been stranger, making plans with Nicky Bell. I really hadn’t known him well when we were kids—he was right about Hal being possessive when he was younger. But I wasn’t making plans with Nicky, even though I’d been hanging out with “Uncle Nicky” all afternoon. I was making plans with Dominic, the hot cop who’d rescued me off the side of the road, and that felt completely right. They were the same person, and yet I knew there was no chance in hell of me shutting the door of awareness that had burst open as soon as I saw Dominic.

  I’d barely noticed the guys around me for months, and then all of a sudden, I couldn’t get enough of my best friend’s little brother. Way to embrace a sudden change in plans by jumping into the deep end head-first.

  I knew from the moment we made the plan that I’d have to talk to Hal about it as soon as possible, though. A lot of people underestimated Hal—they thought his rough looks meant a rough mind, yet nothing could be further from the truth. He’d put himself through college while running his own landscaping business, and he had a head for math that I couldn’t touch. He played hard and he loved harder, but he wasn’t an idiot, and he was definitely going to notice the new vibe between Dominic and me. The best thing to do was to own it.

  Once we got back, I was able to get in an hour of work—checking in with my assistant and emailing her some paperwork—before laughter and the delicious smells of dinner pulled me to the kitchen. We had Mrs. Jackson’s—I couldn’t call her Phee, it just seemed disrespectful even though I was an adult now—lasagna, with a green salad on the side. Marnie gave Dominic and me a blow-by-blow account of what they did with Hal that afternoon, only pausing long enough to breathe.

  “Slow down, kiddo,” Hal said after a few minutes of watching his oldest practically vibrate in her chair. “You’ve got all night to tell them this stuff, but dinner won’t be hot forever.”

  “We have a microwave, Dad,” she replied in a “duh” tone of voice. “I can reheat it.”

  “You can save some of the stories for later, too.” He looked between Dominic and me. “She spent half an hour telling me about all the fun you guys had this morning, too. It sounds like they ran you ragged.”

  Dominic’s neck pinked a little bit. Was he blushing because he was embarrassed for some reason or because he was thinking about how much he’d enjoyed today? “Yep, it was nice to have backup.”

  “Max was really good at watching us,” Marnie agreed. “He knows special ways to get food coloring out of clothes.”

  Hal raised an eyebrow. “How many clothes are we talking about here?”

  “Just the outside ones!”

  “They won’t stain,” I assured Hal. “Trust me, food coloring is nothing compared to some of the stuff I’ve had to soak out of my work clothes.”

  “That’s what you get for going to all those awful company holiday parties.”

 
“It’s a burden,” I agreed. “Hopefully, I’ll be too busy after I get back on Monday to participate.”

  “Is your car gonna be ready by then?”

  I shook my head. “Ha, no, not even close. But I’m sure I can get a rental, and the worst of the storm is supposed to be done by tomorrow.”

  “Which means tonight is going to be bad.” Dominic shook his head. “I should get back to my place and cover up some more holes.”

  “Take Max,” Hal said, offering me up like a sacrificial lamb. “He looks useless, but he actually knows his way around a hammer. Get him to hang some drywall for you.”

  Dominic looked a little nervous—maybe he was regretting asking me over after a solid day of putting up with me already. “Like anyone wants to watch me hang drywall,” I said, trying to give him an out.

  “I would,” Dominic said, and the pink rose up to his face. He pushed his chair back and grabbed his empty plate, and Steph’s as well. She’d finished her dinner a lot faster than Marnie, since she still wasn’t talking. “I’ll just…dishwasher.”

  Hal looked from his brother to me. He didn’t say anything, but I could see the gears turning. Yep, we needed to talk, before he took me out to the woodshed and started making demands about my intentions toward his baby brother.

  “Want to help me finish cleaning up?” he asked once Dominic was out of the kitchen and helping the girls set up their favorite movie.

  “Sure.” I followed him to the fridge, where he took out a beer—Molson stock ale. What was wrong with him? I didn’t even drink alcohol if it wasn’t New Year’s Eve, and I still knew that stuff was gross.

  He popped the cap and turned around to look at me. “So…”

  “It just happened,” I said before he could start grilling me. Elbowing my way to the front of a conversation was an old defensive tactic of mine, one that had only gotten worse since I became a lawyer. “I didn’t recognize Dominic when I met him, and I didn’t know he was gay, either, but I feel like we made a connection yesterday. We’re not being weird in front of the girls or anything, and I’m not going to let it get weird in front of them, but while I’m here, I want to spend time with him. More than just here at the house. He invited me over to look at his place tonight”—I’d kind of invited myself, but whatever, details—“and I said I’d come, but it’s just casual. I won’t be spending the night, I won’t be keeping him from his responsibilities, and I won’t be doing anything to make him or you uncomfortable.”