They said goodbye to Abraham and wandered hand in hand towards the river, Epiphany still perched happily on her arm. Isaac seemed to realise she was preoccupied with her thoughts, and she squeezed his hand, wordlessly thanking him for this most comfortable of silences.
“Our blanket.”
Precious memories flooded her mind as she stared at the cornflower blue blanket spread out on the riverbank, surrounded by silver-lidded bowls. Isaac’s every action exposed him now. He was a man in love, he just hadn’t found the words to express it yet.
“I thought you might enjoy breakfast by the river. I know you love these noisy birds.”
She giggled and squeezed his hand, love and gratitude sweeping through her body and soul. How was it possible to feel such joy with her captor and master?
“I do love them. Thank you, Your Majesty, this is perfect.”
As they sat, Epiphany spread his snow white angel wings and flew high into the air, circling around them before landing on top of the tallest oak tree. The spectacular something burned in Isaac’s eyes as they watched the bird and listened to his haunting cries. And then Isaac turned to her, and she looked into his eyes and saw the truth…
It had been so simple all along…
Her turquoise eyes reflected in his sky blue ones – and all the love she felt resided there.
The spectacular something.
The spectacular something dwelled in her eyes too. Every time Isaac looked into them he had seen it burning there. Theirs was no ordinary love. It was blessed by the spirit realms, a love rarely attained on earth. A love destined to be. A miracle too magical to comprehend. This love was what Isaac had yearned for and he had recognised it at first sight. He had the soul of a Lokian visionary. Together they would make many journeys to the spirit realms and change the course of destiny…
She sat mute and frozen, stunned by her revelation and the mystical connotations for them all. She stared blankly as Isaac lifted the silver domes to reveal fruits of every colour, a mouth-watering spectacle. Her empty tummy grumbled loudly, and she shook her spinning head, tucking the mysticism and magic safely away to focus on her physical needs instead.
“A beautiful breakfast.”
“For a beautiful visionary.”
As Isaac fed her she yearned to be allowed to feed him in return, but she knew better than to ask – yet. That would be something for the future along with being permitted to talk freely with Katrina. For the moment, she must allow Isaac his control so he could keep his fear at bay.
“Are you alright, Wanwisa?” He stroked his fingers down her neck, and her heartbeat quickened, desire throbbing in her veins. “You seem a little pensive… I hope you don’t have any regrets about last night?”
Despite his sensitivity, she felt impossibly shy and cursed her stupidity. She loved this man and had been curious about the aids to sexual pleasure; Isaac had simply shown her just how pleasurable they could be. There was no reason to be embarrassed; intimacy was a sacred, holy thing. She stared into his hypnotic eyes and snuggled closer to him.
“No, of course not, Your Majesty, it was wonderful. It is amazing how such an explicitly sexual act can stimulate spiritual elevation.”
“It wasn’t the act, Talia, it was how you responded to it. You have so much emotion inside of you. I think the intensity of the experience brought your spirituality even more to the fore. You are so connected to both your body and your spirit; the heightened sexuality heightened your spirituality too. You don’t separate the two, for you they are the same. It is a miraculous, awe-inspiring thing.”
She was stunned. Isaac was the miracle, not her. He had made her spiritual ecstasy possible by showing her the love he was so afraid of. She swallowed and stared at him like a fool. If only she could tell him how she felt, show him he had nothing to fear. She exalted him, worshipped at the altar of Isaac. His love was returned in full. If only they could get past his game and tell the truth. He smiled as he took her hand and held it to his heart.
“You transform everything you touch into a thing of exquisite beauty, Talia. That is you.”
“Your Majesty, we created the beauty together. I… felt your tenderness throughout. Whatever you did I knew I was always Talia to you.”
“You are always Talia to me.”
Her heart thumped. Her pulse skittered. They were so close to the truth but she must be patient, be gentle with Isaac’s fear.
“In the past…” He hesitated and looked warily into her eyes as if he were about to disclose something terrible.
“The past is the past, Your Majesty. I can bear whatever it held without fear or upset. It is over and now we have this moment in time.”
He narrowed his eyes as he turned her hand over in his, tracing tiny patterns on her palm with his fingertips.
“In the past I used implements of restraint purely for sexual dominance and pleasure. It was a test of my ability to win trust and respect. I enjoyed it immensely and relished giving pleasure in return. It was never abusive, always consensual, but there was never any… elevation.”
He stopped talking abruptly, looking at her as if she held the answers to all questions in this mortal world.
“Just a game,” she murmured, transfixed by this new information.
“Talia?”
She pulled herself together. Isaac may have almost admitted the truth but he must not know she understood his game. Not yet…
“It was a little like a game, Your Majesty, challenging yourself and your ability to win trust and respect from your sexual partners.”
She had to be honest for she never wanted to see the fear in his eyes again and if she was always truthful this would keep the fear at bay. They had to learn to play Isaac’s game together.
“So fucking bright. Your mind is spectacular, Talia, you’re terrifying really.”
His eyes and voice were solemn. Grave. This was the very opposite of what she wanted, she needed to assuage his fear, not stoke it.
“I simply pay attention to all you say and do, Your Majesty. I have deep respect for you.”
He smirked. “Like I said, so fucking bright. You do not need to veil your intelligence, Talia, it is one of the reasons I…” He stopped and turned his gaze to the river. “Look, Talia, the swans.”
The swans swam serenely side by side on the sparkling water but despite her love of birds she was far more interested in what he had been about to say…
Did he really think she didn’t know?
It is one of the reasons I love you…
They said goodbye to Epiphany, and he screeched sadly as they walked away. Talia knew the next time Isaac allowed her to venture outside the hawk would be waiting for her. But when would that be? She was at the mercy of Isaac’s dictates, his moods and whims governed her. She was pensive as they wandered slowly back to the bedroom, taking a new route along a narrow, twisting corridor. It led to steep stone steps, which they climbed to emerge just a few paces away from Isaac’s bathing room. She realised it must be the route the women took when preparing their king’s bath and imagined they had probably returned this way to avoid the same women preparing lunch in the kitchen. Those poor innocent souls were not allowed to set eyes on her. Or was it that she was not allowed to set eyes on them? Or both? She was confused again and added this question to her ever-growing list to be asked sometime in an idyllic future when everything would be honest and open between her and Isaac. But would that time ever come? So many questions unanswered, so many words unsaid… It was not a good omen and it made her depressed. She was trying her hardest to win Isaac’s trust but could only be honest with subjects he deemed it acceptable for her to broach. It did not bode well for the future of their relationship.
“I have a meeting with my advisors, Wanwisa. There are books on the shelf by the window if you would like to read but I don’t expect to be away for long.”
She beamed up at him, her concerns forgotten. She did not need to veil her intelligence and there were book
s for her to read. At this moment she was not Isaac’s sex slave but his adored lover.
“Thank you, Your Majesty, I have always enjoyed solitude. I will be fine.”
Isaac raised an eyebrow. “Have you now, Talia? An independent woman is incredibly alluring, it is a challenge to win and retain her attention. My aim is to do just that and I know exactly how to do it. Be warned, my beautiful little visionary, this afternoon might prove to be long and demanding for you.”
He smirked suggestively, and then he was gone, leaving her to mull over his seductive promise – or was it a threat? Her heart thumped with anticipation. Isaac was aroused by her independent spirit so maybe she just had to be a little more patient and then all her wishes would come true. Maybe Isaac really did want what she wanted, an equal relationship based on tenderness and respect. If he was sexually excited by her strength of character he would not want a permanently submissive lover. They were simply playing a game and like all games, it would eventually end. But… She trembled as she acknowledged the but. All games must have a winner and this was no exception. Either she or Isaac would win this game and the nature of their relationship would change forever according to who the victor was. Their shared spiritual energy was more vulnerable, more fragile, than ever.
Katrina’s Confession
He could barely contain himself as he strode through his palace, whistling loudly and tunelessly, oblivious of all around him. He had made Talia’s eyes shine with happiness and that was all he wanted to do. He was euphoric. Talia loved him – he was sure of it.
But could she really feel the intense, powerful emotions he felt for her? After last night, he dared to believe it was possible. Never in his wildest dreams could he have anticipated such a spectacular outcome to his experiment. Talia hadn’t merely trusted him, she had given herself completely, body and soul, surrendered to his carnal desires with tenderness and reverence that embedded in his heart. They had experienced an epiphany together. Epiphany, her angel hawk. He shook his head as he recalled her reaction when he had given her the bird. He had expected heartfelt gratitude and emotion – not more tears. She had confounded him – but not angered him. As he stared into her devastated eyes he had realised just how little he understood her. She did not want a pet, a captive bird… captive… like her. She wanted a relationship, a bond of equals. She had stared into his eyes with her impossibly soulful turquoise ones and told him so. Her connection with her spirit animal was unfathomable to him, but he would learn. Epiphany… When she named the hawk he had realised how spectacular she really was. And him? He was a child. Master-slave? This was more like teacher–pupil and his was not the dominant role. He was just a king desperately trying to absorb all the wisdom he could from the goddess Talia, the wisest woman alive. He couldn’t force himself to care about this strange reversal of power and no longer cared about understanding the collective Lokian mind. One mind was all he cared about. Talia’s. Last night had blessed him with spiritual connection and awareness, satisfied the aching empty space in his soul. How could he be anything other than thankful for that? Talia had brought meaning and contentment to his life, opened his eyes to the infinite possibilities of human existence, transformed his world in every way…
“Your Majesty.”
Katrina dropped gracefully into a low curtsey at his feet, prostrate and humbled in the middle of the corridor.
“Katrina? Is something wrong?”
The face that met his gaze was pale and drawn, her eyes enormous, sad and terrified.
“Please, Your Majesty… please may I request the honour of a private word with you?”
He was dumbfounded. Katrina was grovelling at his feet, which was completely uncalled for and she had never before requested a private meeting with him. If anyone had upset her, they would wish they’d never been born. Fury coursed through his veins at the very thought. Katrina was his personal servant and she occupied a sacred place in his heart.
“Of course, this way.”
He offered his hand to help her up and her haunted eyes filled with tears. This was bad. He gently placed his hand on her upper arm and steered her hastily towards a small drawing room that was rarely used. As they entered an unpleasant musty smell invaded his nostrils and he became more impatient than ever to discover what was wrong. He needed to solve this problem quickly so he could fulfil his royal duties and return to Talia.
“Would you like to sit, Katrina?”
His voice was far too curt. He was selfish, desperate to return to the reason for his existence – Talia.
“No, Your Majesty, thank you. Your kindness is so much more than I deserve. I must… I must confess to a terrible wrongdoing and beg the mercy of your forgiveness.”
“Katrina?”
He was stunned. Wrongdoing? Katrina? Never. She was his most loyal subject, the most faithful and moral of all women. He respected her, admired her even. Torment and guilt lay deep within her eyes but he could not bring himself to believe this was possible. Katrina could do no wrong.
“Your Majesty…” Katrina’s voice dropped to a whisper so tremulous he had to move closer to hear. “I have committed a terrible indiscretion and it is torturing me. I…” Isaac’s heart pounded as her eyes lowered to the floor. Katrina could not meet his gaze. What horror was this?
“Tell me.”
His voice was harsher than he intended due to his impatience. This was unbearable. The unknown was unbearable. What did that remind him of? The unknown between us terrifies me. Talia. He forced his agitated mind away from his love and concentrated on the trembling woman in front of him.
“I… Talia was upset… upset and confused about… Your Majesty… and I… told her,” Katrina’s voice was little more than a quavering whisper, stoking his impatience, “I told her Your Majesty had only ever taken her to the blue room, no other woman had ever been there…” Her voice broke, her emotion too intense to contain, her huge brown eyes fixed resolutely on the floor. He could not believe the evidence of his own ears.
“What were you thinking, Katrina? You know your rules and the reason for them. Of all the people in this palace I thought I could rely on you to assist me in my mission. How could you think you had the right to do this?! What were you thinking to betray me in such a manner?”
His anger was already subsiding to become secondary to his deep-seated need to understand. His trusted servant, his faithful Katrina… It was incomprehensible. Guilt washed over him as Katrina raised her tear-stained face. He had traumatised her. And whatever she had done, he did not want that. It was clear Katrina was punishing herself and did not need him to do it.
“Forgive me, please, Your Majesty, I will do anything to put this right, anything you ask of me, anything. My heart is broken. I would never betray you, never. Talia… she was so upset. Please, Your Majesty, please forgive my momentary lapse of judgement. I worship you. I cannot bear it if this means… if you will no longer…”
It was too much for her. Katrina was swooning and he was the bastard who had caused this. One moment of madness did not negate her unswerving loyalty and devotion over many long years. He caught her just before she fell to the floor, gently gathering her shaking body up into his arms and carrying her over to the sitting chair. He could feel the outline of her ribs beneath his fingers, as fragile and delicate as Talia. He shuddered. He was appalling, had traumatised this gentle, loyal woman with his brutish behaviour. He did not deserve her worship. She lay limp in his arms, his fingers curled around her slender ribcage. No man should ever treat a vulnerable creature in such a way! He placed her carefully on the chair and sat beside her, taking her hand in his. This did not have the comforting effect he intended for she began to weep loudly against his shoulder.
“Your heart has no need to break, Katrina. I am angry but this situation is not irresolvable. You must tell me why you felt the need to break your rules.”
It was hard to concentrate on settling this issue. Katrina’s tears tormented him, but there was also his s
elfish horror that his beautiful game had been compromised. The purity of his intentions for Talia had been damaged for now she had knowledge that changed the game. He should have been the one to tell her about the blue room, when he deemed the time was right, but Katrina had ripped that joy away from him. Fuck! He had been so looking forward to it, eager for the big revelation and its effect on Talia. He had even practised telling her the truth when she had been drifting into sleep and wouldn’t hear his whispered words.
“Your Majesty, I knew I was breaking my rules and I felt so disloyal, so conflicted, but I…” He placed his free hand on Katrina’s arm as her eyes searched his and he nodded, silently encouraging her to continue. “I reasoned Your Majesty would not want Talia to be distraught and if I could help her in any way I should do so.” Katrina gulped in some air and moaned softly, her brown eyes glazing over. He increased the pressure of his hand on hers, willing her to continue so this would soon be over. Katrina must be restored to equanimity and then he could be reunited with his beloved Talia and no longer have to endure the tears of the women dearest to his heart. “I told her about the blue room. She was so sad and confused about… Your Majesty… she… has so much affection and respect for you. I only wanted to reassure her she was special. I know it wasn’t my place but her pain was destroying me.”
Oh, Katrina, I know how you felt… Her pain was destroying me. Exactly how he felt whenever Talia cried. How could he be angry with Katrina’s compassion and empathy for Talia?
“I understand.” Katrina’s eyes widened as she stared unabashedly into his. How often had she dared do that in all the long years she had been his devoted servant? He could not recall one time, ever, before now. He must rectify that in future. She deserved it, deserved more. “There is nothing to forgive, Katrina. I am angry my plans have been disrupted, but I understand why you acted as you did. I am moved by your concern for Talia’s welfare, I heartily approve of it.”
Talia and Isaac Page 30