Faded (Shattered Book 4)

by Diana Nixon

  "Right." She crossed her arms and watched me closely. "What if I had a date?"

  "Hardly possible. First, because you weren’t dressed for a date." Actually, it was the first time that I saw her with no makeup and heels. She was wearing blue jeans and an oversized black hoodie, and still looked like the most adorable creature in the world. "Second," I proceeded, "You don't look like an early morning date type. Those are usually more complying and definitely don't find their dates in the cemetery. And finally…" I stepped closer, close enough to break into her private space. "I was really hoping it had nothing to do with a date, or with another guy for that matter."

  She stood still, with her magnetic eyes studying me.

  "Why are you doing this, Jeffrey?"

  "Doing what? Following you?"

  "Trying to get something we both know you are not getting in this life, or ever."

  I laughed under my breath. "Ever heard of the forbidden fruit?"

  "You don't look like a guy who loves complications."

  "You don't know me."

  "Oh, yeah? Surprise me then?"

  I rubbed my chin and thought for a moment. "A few years back, I was crazy about one of my classmates, but she didn't care about me. So I promised myself I would win her heart at any cost. I left chocolates in her bag when she wasn't around, always opened the door for her and never missed a single moment to talk to her. I even printed a love poem and slipped it into her notebook. But she went on a date with another guy and I swore off being a nice guy."

  Rhea's lips pressed together, as if she was trying really hard to hide her smile. "Serves you right," she then said. "As for being a nice guy… I think you still have it in you."

  There wasn't a trace of scoff in her words. Did she really mean what she said?

  "Thanks…" Did I want to be a nice guy with her? Surprisingly – yes. "Are you hungry?" I asked, still thinking about her words.

  She nodded. "I'm starving."

  "Me too. Um…is it okay if I offer you breakfast and a ride back to the dorm?"

  She smiled. "Being a nice guy looks good on you."

  "Ugh, stop saying that, or I might start blushing. Which is going to kill my reputation of a bad boy."

  A meaningful smirk on her lips said it all. "Bad boy… Thanks for the warning. I'll remember that."

  We got into my car and sped away from the sadness that I was more than happy to replace with a smile on her face. I didn't want to ask questions or nose into something that I was sure she didn't want to talk about, so I let it go and preferred to focus on my time with her.

  We came to the café that Liam, Kameron, Stanley and I loved to stop by when in the city. It served the best pancakes in the whole world, I swear.

  "This place holds a lot of memories from my 'nice boy' past," I said.

  "Judging by the intonation you gave to the 'nice boy', I don't think I want to know the details."

  I smiled. "My friends and I used to come to New York to celebrate something special, like one of our birthdays or a New Year. We always came here after long nights in the clubs and more then often we passed out right on those sofas." I pointed to a secluded corner with two tables and plush red sofas. They still looked welcoming, considering I got so little sleep last night.

  "I used to work in a café like this," Rhea said. "My dad never approved of my attempts to earn some pocket money. But as stubborn as I am, I never listened to him."

  "What about your mom? What did she say about it?" I put a piece of a pancake into my mouth and immediately regretted asking the damn question.

  Rhea's expression darkened. She put the cup with the steaming coffee on a porcelain saucer and said quietly, "I wish she were still alive to give me her opinion…"

  Shit, I swore mentally.

  "Sorry, I didn’t know…"

  "It's okay. Today marks six years since the day I lost her."

  "Was it her grave that you visited?"

  She nodded with her eyes glued to the cup. "At times I feel like it doesn't hurt anymore, but it does…" She looked at me and I saw tears glisten in her eyes. "That's why I moved to the campus instead of staying at home. I couldn't wait to leave the place and breathe freely again. Home became a prison for me. I felt like I was suffocating there. You know…the walls, the rooms, everything around me screamed about mom's absence. And even though I'm not the girl I used to be six years ago, every time I come back home, I feel like I'm facing the loss, over and over again."

  I didn’t know what to say. Words just didn't come out of my mouth. Instinctively, I covered her hand with mine and rubbed it gently. "There are things that are not so easy to forget."

  She looked at our hands and nodded again. "True." Then she pulled her hand out of mine and got back to her breakfast. "Let's talk about you," she said. "What exactly are you going to study?"

  "Foundation of finance, corporate finance, investments, risk managements – boring stuff."

  "But you like it, don't you?"

  "How do you know that?"

  "Because the words 'boring stuff' sounded like the most exciting thing in the world."

  I smiled. "You got me there. I love everything that has anything to do with finance. I guess it runs in the family."

  "Now that doesn't sound as good as your 'boring stuff'."

  I looked at her and my smile faded. "You are right. Despite the fact that my family couldn't be happier about the choice of my future career, I don't want to owe them anything. Especially my father. I mean… Don't get me wrong – I do love the old man, but I don't want to be him."

  "You are not your father, Jeffrey. Everyone is an individual. It's up to you to decide who you want to be. Mom always said that everyone lives the life they want to live. Even those who say they hate their lives. Because if they truly wanted to change something, they would do anything to make it happen."

  "You sound like you talk about a concrete person."

  She waved it off. "Forget it. Some people never change, right?"

  "Right…" I gave her a thoughtful look. She wasn't the kind of girl who let things go easily. Maybe she had learned how to suppress the pain from losing her mom, but there were more demons that she was still learning how to overcome.

  "Why did you choose Fine Arts?"

  She looked surprised. "How did you know about my department?"

  "My charming smile has the power to open all the needed doors."

  She laughed. "I should have guessed. Did you promise our principal's secretary an unforgettable date or something?"

  "I'm too young for her, but not my charisma."

  "Of course." She took a sip of her coffee and added, "I always liked art. Quoting you - I guess it runs in the family. Mom was a historian. She loved museums and history books. I guess that's why my room is packed with dusty books that I can read non-stop. The smell of paperbacks is what excites me more than anything in the world."

  "I'll remember that." I winked at her.

  "Shut up. I didn’t mean anything of what your dirty mind might have thought about."

  "Of course not. Was the name Rhea your mom's idea?"

  "Yes, Rhea was the Greek Titan and the mother of Zeus. Greek mythology books were one of mom's favorite readings."

  "I see… She has chosen a beautiful name for you." I thought about all the other beautiful things that I saw in the girl sharing breakfast with me. That morning was going to become one of my best memories ever. I could wrap myself up in whatever she was saying and feel a serenity never known before. She stood out from all the girls I met, bringing the chaos of thoughts into my head, and the warmth into my heart that went so deep, it made my whole self feel high and delighted. I guess it meant something significant. Too bad, I managed to realize it when it was too late…

  "It's been nice talking to you," Rhea said, when I parked near our dorm. "I guess I needed someone to distract me from my sad thoughts this morning."

  "You are always welcome, Cherry. If you ever need a talking buddy again, I'm here
to talk about whatever the hell you want."

  She laughed softly and my heart skipped a beat. God, I wanted to kiss her, so bad, every inch of me hurt from the mere thought of letting her leave the car without that most-needed kiss. Her lips looked soft and inviting, igniting the kind of passion I hadn't felt for a long time, maybe never. I fought the urge to move closer, just a little, and see if she moved closer in response. But I didn't move, afraid to scare her away. I knew the moment she would say good-bye was getting closer, and I couldn't stop it. But I enjoyed every damn second of this self-torture.

  "Have a great day, Jeffrey," she said, opening the passenger door. And just like that, all of my fantasies about kissing her shattered right in front of my eyes. She stepped out of the car and closed the door behind her.

  Damn it…

  "You too, Rhea!" I shouted into the opened window. This time, I didn't follow her, letting my rapidly beating heart take a break. She was so close… Why didn't I try to kiss her? In any other situation, with any other girl, I would never miss a single chance to follow my instincts. The problem was – Rhea wasn't just any girl. Everything about her was new to me: the way she treated me, the way she acted in my presence, the way I acted when around her. I didn't recognize myself. Maybe I wasn't feeling well, or something. Because in my perfectly planned life there was no place for sleepless nights, full of thoughts about a girl I hardly knew anything about, unless it was something meaningless and the girl was about to leave my bed even before the sun rose.

  I sighed, resting my head on the back of my seat. I was losing my mind over Rhea, and that was terrible news. I wasn't here to fall in love or give long-term promises. My career and my future were not to be ruined by a girl. But for the first time in my life, I wanted to be with a girl longer than one night promised…

  ***

  Rhea

  "Is he cute?" Kora asked.

  "Who?"

  "The guy that you can't stop thinking about."

  My best friend was in New York for a two-day trip. She was getting ready for another season of competitions and managed to ask her coach to give her a short break before she dived into her skating craziness again.

  "There's nothing to tell actually. Better tell me, are you ready to add another medal to your gold collection?"

  "Ugh, if everything was that simple. Have you seen Mia's new short program? Damn, the girl is really good. I can't believe she got European Championship silver. I thought the coach would give her a season or two to perfect her dance."

  "You are still the best," I said, hugging Kora. "I'll keep my fingers crossed next time I watch your performance."

  "If you didn't give up on skating, who knows, maybe we could become competitors."

  "No, thank you, dear. I'd better leave that spot for Mia Conward. I did see her new short program, by the way. Trust me – you don't have to worry about your next competition. The gold will be yours."

  "Amen." She rose her cup of coffee and we cheered for the medal she would bring home soon.

  Unlike me, Kora managed to make her biggest dream come true. And I still felt like I didn't know what I was doing here or where my fate would lead me tomorrow.

  Starbucks was overcrowded. It looked like everyone came to the café because it was the easiest place to find on the campus. So right after Kora finished her sandwich, we headed for the exit.

  Just when I opened the door, I bumped into a guy's chest. "Sorry, I didn't…"

  "It's the second time in one day that I catch you following me, Cherry."

  Jeffrey's sexy voice made all the girls around us stop talking and just gaze at him.

  "It's the second time in one day that I catch you spying on me," I said in response. "It looks like it's become an obsession."

  He graced me with one of those disarming smiles that opened all the doors he wanted to open. In a low voice he said, "I don't mind you becoming my obsession, Rhea The Goddess."

  Do you really believe a girl can play it cool after words like that? Me neither.

  But I'd be dammed if I didn't try to pretend the words and the way they were said didn't affect me.

  "It was nice to see you again, Jeffrey." I walked past him and didn't look back – which, I must admit, was the hardest task ever.

  "It's him, isn't it?" Kora would never let a meeting like that go easily.

  "I have no idea what you are talking about." I kept walking to the dorm, and she had to run after me and catch on my pace.

  "I may not be a mentalist, but I know that the guy has predatory intentions on you."

  "Don't be ridiculous. He barely knows me."

  "Guys like him don't need to know anything about you to dream about taking off your panties."

  I giggled. "You are impossible, Kora." Not that the idea of Jeffrey undressing me didn't make the butterflies dance in my belly.

  "Tell me, have you and that guy… Kenneth, right? Have you…"

  "Don't even go there," I warned her. "You know I will never sleep with a guy if I'm not sure about him."

  "You will never be sure about him. And you know why?"

  "Enlighten me."

  "Your thoughts are full of the other guy's name. Unless you believe in a friendly relationship between a walking-temptation guy and a girl. But something's telling me that 'pure friendly' and 'Jeffrey the sexy butt' will never fit in the same line. By the way, have I told you about the bruise on my butt? God, I thought I would die when I landed on it during my last training. You should have seen Mia's face – the bitch looked like she won another medal!"

  I stopped listening to Kora's ramblings about the bruises and thought about last night's dance with Jeffrey.

  I wasn't the only person affected by the connection between us. I was kind of surprised it affected him too. I was sure girls jumped in and out of his bed like hot doughnuts in a pot. But there was shame and uncontrollable touches that didn't scream sex and one-night stand offers. There was a fire in his eyes, it was hard not to see it. It went along with something I still didn't get. Curiosity? He didn’t expect this time to be different, but it was, and we both felt it.

  I wasn't an expert in dating, I wasn't even close to it. But Jeffrey didn't look like a guy who would blush if a girl kissed him. He would make any girl blush by the mere talking about the way he would kiss her, not to mention the real action. Maybe that's why I was surprised to realize that my guesses about him were wrong. There was a depth in him. The depth that for some unknown reason allured me with its unknown. Or maybe Kora was right, and I – just like most of the girls he graced with a smile – simply fell for his attractiveness, not even knowing the moment I lost my heart to him…

  Chapter 7

  Jeffrey

  There was no way in fucking hell I would miss Rhea's Saturday pizza date. I wasn't invited, but I intended to become the main guest of this 'event'.

  It's been four days… Four long as Grand Canyon days since I saw Rhea, and it felt like forever. I couldn't stop thinking about her, not even for a tiny second. As much as we saw each other last weekend, I was surprised we didn't bump into one another, not even a single time, considering she lived just two doors away and our classes were in the same building – I checked on her schedule every day, fact. Or maybe luck was simply laughing at me.

  Anyway, today was the day I had been waiting for the whole week and I wanted it to be marvelous. My plan was perfect and I mentally followed every item ten times, no less, as if remembered by heart.

  "I never used vodka as a shampoo," Levy said, entering the kitchen. "Is this some kind of an anti-scruff trick or something?"

  I laughed under my breath. "Almost." I dried my hair with a kitchen towel and said, "Don't tell anyone. It's my secret weapon."

  He put one finger to his lips and nodded. "I'm a vault."

  "Good."

  He gave my outfit a questioning look. "What happened to your clothes?"

  "Nothing, why?"

  "You look like you've been robbed and punched in the face, e
xcept your nose is not broken."

  "Oh, that…" The thing is, my outfit was a part of my well-thought-out plan, but Levy didn't need to know that. "I was in the middle of changing one of the tires on my car and then the rain started."

  "What a bad break..." He didn't buy it, obviously, but I didn’t give a damn. "Next time, better take it to the car service."

  "Will do, thanks for the advice man." I dropped the towel over one of the kitchen chairs and rushed to my room to make a very important call. The next item in my plan said I needed to be in Rhea's room in fifteen minutes, which was more than enough to repeat the words of my 'role' for tonight.

  "Let the show begin," I said, dialing the needed number.

  ***

  Rhea

  Pizza dates could be really enjoyable, but not in my case.

  "Do you need help?" Kenneth asked for the tenth time for the last thirty minutes, and I swear I was going to call the delivery service and order the damn pizza instead of trying to make it myself.

  "No, thanks. I'm almost done," I lied. He was sitting on a sofa in the living room, watching baseball, while I was struggling with my desire to end this date as soon as possible.

  Everything about the night was annoying to the max, starting with the way Kenneth treated this 'date' - obviously as a real date, and to the disturbing thoughts about the guy who was never supposed to become a permanent guest of my mind's activity.

  I haven't seen Jeffrey since Monday, and I couldn't suppress the irritating desire to see him again. Living two doors away from him and having lectures with him in the same building (yes, I checked on his schedule every day, telling myself it didn't mean a thing) I never saw him, even to say 'hello'.

  Thanks, luck. You are a bitch.

  Add the lack of sleep (again, thanks to my luck AND Jeffrey the Hottie) and you get a full package of reasons for my sucky mood.

  "Here's your Sangria," Kenneth said, bringing me a glass of my homemade drink. "Who taught you to cook?" He leaned against the kitchen counter and watched my fight with the dough.