Faded (Shattered Book 4)

by Diana Nixon

  It was too soon to think about a wedding and having a family, but somehow, she was the only girl I could see as my wife and the mother of my kids.

  Lost in my thoughts, I helped her back to the dorm, stopping on the way at the pharmacy to buy the ointment.

  "Looks like we need to cancel our plans for the weekend," she said, sitting on her bed.

  "No way! It wasn't supposed to be a running marathon anyway."

  "But I know the pain will get stronger by the morning. It's not the first time I have a dislocation. You will have to nurse me all weekend long."

  "I couldn't imagine a better scenario." I sat down next to her and wrapped one arm around her shoulders. "I'll be there for anything that your treatment involves. Including applying ointment."

  She punched me lightly in the ribs. "Dirty mind."

  "Me? Never. Have you packed the things that you might need for the weekend?"

  "I have. That was right before I slipped."

  "Good. It means we can leave as soon as I take you to the car."

  "Take me to the car?" She looked horrified.

  I laughed. "Do you have a problem with that?"

  "Yes. I don't want anyone to see you taking me to your car."

  "It's not like I'm gonna have sex with you right in the parking lot."

  "Very funny, Jeffrey. I can walk without your help."

  "Fine. Can I at least hold your hand so you don't slip, again? We don't need a double dislocation, do we?"

  She rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

  And so, I took her bag and then mine, and we left the campus.

  After almost an hour of driving (all thanks to New York traffic), we finally got to a place I never called home, though it was a home for me and I was going to live there after graduation.

  "Where are we?" Rhea asked, getting out of the car.

  "My place."

  "Your place?"

  "Yeah, the apartment was my parents' present for the well-passed exams. But I haven't had the chance to live here, yet." I locked the car and we went to the elevator that would take us to the twenty-fifth floor.

  "Why did you prefer living on campus if you have an apartment all for yourself?

  "I hate being alone."

  "Is that why you wanted me to come here with you?"

  "It was one of the reasons."

  Rhea entered the elevator and muttered, "I'm afraid to ask about the rest of them."

  "Nothing indecent, I swear."

  "When you say 'I swear' or 'I promise', I wanna laugh. Do you have any idea why?"

  "No. But you are here and you do trust me, because you agreed to go with me not knowing anything about our destination."

  "Well, yes, I do trust you. But don't you dare use it against me." She gave me a warning look.

  "Never."

  The elevator stopped and we walked down the hall to apartment №123.

  I unlocked the door and opened it for Rhea. "Welcome! Make yourself at home."

  She stopped in the hall and looked at me. "Seriously?"

  "What?"

  "This place is bigger than the entire campus floor. And you refuse to live here?"

  "As I said, I hate the thought of falling asleep all alone in a place as big as this."

  "It doesn't mean I'm going to sleep with you."

  I chuckled. "But we did this before, twice. Remember?"

  "It was different."

  "How different? If memory serves, both times we were all alone and no one could hear you if I decided to misbehave."

  She looked a bit scared.

  "I'm kidding, Rhea, relax. You don't think I brought you here to use you, do you?"

  "You'd better behave. Or I might forget about the pain in my foot and show you a few moves from my karate classes."

  "You took karate classes?"

  "That was a long time ago, but my body still remembers the moves."

  I gave her body a careful look. No doubt, I would love to see some of her moves…

  She cleared her throat, breaking my fantasies about her.

  "Don't even think about it."

  "Ugh, what choice do I have? Most of the time thinking about you is all I'm allowed to do."

  She suddenly groaned and looked at her foot. "I need to sit down. It hurts again."

  "Okay, wait." I put the keys on a small glass table and hurried to help her.

  Without thinking, I took her in my arms and carried her to the living room. I carefully sat her down on a couch and asked, "Do you need a painkiller?"

  She stayed quiet.

  I looked into her eyes and to my surprise, they smiled at me.

  "Who would have thought you were such a caring man, Mr. Coleman?"

  "It's because you always think the worst of me."

  "Not true. I think you are the best guy I have ever met."

  That warmed my heart. "Really?"

  "There was a time I honestly believed I could stay away from you and live my life as if you never happened."

  "But?"

  "But my willpower is not that strong."

  I leaned in and stopped a few milliners from her lips. "Which means you can't resist me."

  "I wish I could say I can."

  I brushed her lips with mine, intending to kiss her, but she growled again and I stopped.

  "Is it the pain again or you can't hold back your emotions when I'm so close to you?"

  "Sorry to disappoint you, but it's the pain."

  "Damn it… Do you want me to bring the ointment? It works as a painkiller too, right?"

  "Yes, please. I told you - bringing me here was a bad idea."

  I brought the ointment and carefully removed the bandage. "Not true. At least I got a chance to touch you on a legal basis, twice a day. Not to mention kissing you. I'm gonna do plenty of that too."

  "Ouch, careful, please."

  "Sorry."

  "Looks like thoughts about kissing and touching me don't do you any good."

  "Not true. I live for them."

  I carefully applied the ointment, trying really hard not to think about the fantasies the way I touched her caused. My palms slid across her foot in circles and I wondered if what I was doing at the moment affected her as much as it affected me.

  She stayed quiet until I was done with her foot and helped her put it on an ottoman.

  "The ointment needs to sink in, don't cover it with the bandage."

  "Yes, Doctor. Will you also feed me please? I'm starving."

  "You know, saying things like that might not end up well for you."

  She smiled with the most seductive smile I had ever seen on her lips. "Oh, really? But it was your idea to bring me here for the weekend, remember? And considering my state, you will need to comply with my every wish…"

  "Shall I give you a piece of paper and a pen so you can write down the wishes you want me to comply with?"

  "I will voice them, one by one."

  We stared at each other as if in a silent battle. I had no idea what was happening in that smart head of hers, but what I saw in her eyes made me want to swipe her from the couch and take her straight to my bedroom. You know, just to check if the mattress I had never slept on was comfortable enough to use.

  "I thought you told me not to even think about it…" I said.

  "This rule is still on. But it doesn't mean I can't make it a little harder for you. I just love teasing you."

  "That's what I thought. Don't forget that I'm a man, made of flesh and blood. And if you make it boil, be ready to face the consequences."

  The evil grin on her face told me she was not going to give up on her idea of driving me up the wall. But hell, I invited her for the weekend, so I kind of asked for it myself, right?

  "I'm gonna enjoy this torture, that's for sure."

  "Of course, you will. Speaking of tortures… When exactly is your father going to be at the university?"

  "On Tuesday. Will you come to his lecture? I know you still hate him and you are not an economist
, but…"

  "I will come to be there with you, if you need me."

  "Thank you. You can't even imagine how much it means to me. But if you feel like you don't want to be there, you are free to leave whenever you want. I hate the idea of making you stay and 'enjoy' his presence."

  She lowered her eyes and stared at her crossed arms. "I've been thinking… Maybe it's time to look at everything from a different point of view? You know, after we talked the other night, I realized that I had never talked to anyone about how much I hated him. I never told anyone I blamed him for mom's death. What if it was just a way to put the blame on someone? To make someone responsible for all the mess in my life. What if I was wrong and he had nothing to do with my father's constant absence at home? What if it was dad's choice?"

  "Honestly, I don't know what to say, Rhea… My father has never been the picture of perfection, but I'm sure if he had known how much you and your mother needed your dad to be at home, he would never had made him work that much. Why don't you talk to your father and ask him the questions that you can't answer? I'm sure there's an explanation to everything that was happening back then, including the possible meeting of your mom and my dad."

  Worry filled the blue oceans of her eyes. "I'm scared to hear the answers, Jeffrey. There have been many times when I wanted to talk to my father and tell him everything I was thinking about the time mom died. But I never dared to. Maybe because deep down inside I know that talking to him may change everything, including my attitude towards the family issues we had back then."

  "But you can't live torturing yourself by guessing. You need to know the truth, Rhea, this is my opinion. No matter how unexpected and surprising it might be."

  "Someone once told me that at times not knowing is a blessing."

  I pulled her into my embrace and said, "Then do what your heart's telling you to do."

  She leaned into me, as if searching for the answers. Too bad, I had none. My palm moved up and down her back; I hoped she would find comfort in my embrace. Holding her so close, I felt more alive than ever, somehow new and happier than before her. In fact, many things had changed since the day we met, including me.

  Now I wanted to succeed in my life more than I wanted it before Rhea. Maybe because now there was someone apart from my father, whom I wanted to impress. And not just to demonstrate my superiority, but to show her that she could rely on me, that I was a better person than everyone thought, that I could be the right man for her.

  Who would have thought that being a nineteen-year-old guy I would start thinking about changing my life because of a girl? Surprisingly enough, I wasn't scared to change it. At that point, I knew I would do absolutely anything she would ask me to, and I would do it with all the love that I felt for her.

  I knew there was something mysterious about the story of Rhea's mom's death and my father's involvement in the whole thing. I just didn't know if we were ready to find out the truth.

  To my disappointment, I was not mistaken about the secrets following us for years. Neither Rhea nor I could have imagined how much they would change our lives one day…

  CHAPTER 13

  Rhea

  All the reasons to stay away from the class where Jeffrey's father's lecture was supposed to take place started to flood my mind, like someone was pouring them into my head and I couldn't stop them.

  I stood at the massive wooden door and prayed I wouldn't have a panic attack. I knew Jeffrey was already there; he was supposed to take the floor after his dad.

  My nervousness would fade away if I decided not to enter the class. But I promised Jeffrey I would be there to support him, and I couldn't let him down. I knew he needed me as much as I needed him right now to give me a bit of his courage, so I could step over my fears and look in the eyes of the man whose name always associated with the most terrifying day of my life.

  Then I remembered mom's words about the fear. She always said that fear lives in our imagination. It can't hurt us, but it makes us give up on many things that deserve to be fought for.

  And so, I took a deep breath, wished myself good luck and turned the doorknob.

  The class was full of students. They were talking and showing each other something on their laptops.

  Jeffrey was sitting in the first row; a seat next to him was empty. When he saw me, he patted the seat, inviting me to take it and I hurried to do so before someone else took it.

  "Hey," he said, touching my hand. "Everything okay?"

  I nodded and forced a smile. "Black looks good on you," I commented on his suit. I never saw him wearing one, but suits definitely were his thing.

  "That makes two of us," he whispered back, referring to the lingerie I was wearing during our first night in his apartment. He insisted we shared a bed even though there was a guest room I could take. I couldn't argue with that, because I knew I would never fall asleep knowing he was just a wall apart from me. As promised, he tried his best to behave and keep his hands away from me. Well, at least until we got to his bed and he said he would help me undress. Now it was his turn to torture me and he definitely enjoyed it, taking his time to do the job very slowly. When there was nothing but lingerie to cover my body, I stopped him and he smiled calling me a coward. We fell asleep wrapped in each other's embrace and I couldn't imagine a better way to spend the night. Well, not exactly… There was a better way to spend it, but Jeffrey knew I didn't want to rush things and I appreciated his patience with me.

  "Leave your dirty comments for later," I said.

  "Sorry, I was just trying to distract you."

  "It worked."

  A small self-satisfied smile played on his gorgeous lips. "Good. At least now I know I'm not the only person here dying to run away, somewhere I could check on the color of bra you are wearing today."

  I blushed from head to toe, and I was sure everyone around me could see it. I looked carefully at the girl sitting on my right, but she, thank God, was too busy typing a message on her phone to pay any attention to us.

  "If you don't shut up, I'll leave even before you get a chance to protest."

  "Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I didn't want to embarrass you. But I just love seeing you blush."

  "Tell me something I don't know."

  He squeezed my hand slightly and then looked at the door. I heard footsteps and turned my head to look at the person who entered the class.

  And, of course, it had to be Mr. Coleman. His eyes, the same as Jeffrey's, stopped at our joined hands and he frowned. I wanted to sink through the floor and never see the judgment his look graced us with.

  As if feeling my inner torment, Jeffrey's grip on my hand tightened. Unlike me, he met his father's eyes without hesitation. No doubt, he wanted to tell him he wasn't afraid of him. Though we both knew, it was not true.

  "Good morning everyone," Mr. Coleman said as he put his case on a desk. "To start with, I would like to congratulate you on becoming the students of one of the best universities in the States. It's a great honor to call yourself its students. Remember it." Then he opened his case and pulled out a laptop that one of the students rushed to connect to the screen behind Mr. Coleman's back. "Today I would like to talk about heritage and its impact on your present and future. We all have someone we admire, right? Whether it's a relative or someone who inspired us to do things we can be proud of…"

  He sounded like a man who never doubted any of his words or actions. No wonder Jeffrey wanted to go along with him. The man of power, as Mr. Coleman obviously was, he would never accept anything less than perfection. That's why Jeffrey wanted to be a perfect son. Though something was telling me, he would get tired of trying to impress his father, sooner or later.

  The more I watched the man, the less I wanted to know more about him. He could be the father of the guy I loved, but he was also the man I couldn't forgive for ruining my family. It still felt weird to be in the same room as him without telling him how much I wished I never knew his name at all. He was there, just a few feet away fr
om me, and I felt like it was me who needed to apologize for my existence and not visa versa. Screaming at him and calling him every name in the book was not an option of course. He probably wouldn't even listen to me if I told him my mom died because of him. To be honest, I wasn't sure about it anymore. I wasn't sure about anything, except I knew I didn't want to let the past ruin my future. And for that, I needed to learn what forgiveness meant and accept the fact that mom's death was just a stupid incident that no one was able to predict or prevent.

  When it was Jeffrey’s turn to take the floor, I wished him good luck and promised to award him for his speech later.

  "Then I need to make it quick," he said in response and then went to the stage, illuminated by the light of the screen on the wall. "Like father, like son – say those who know about my connection to the man standing on my right."

  The students laughed.

  "I wouldn't agree with that stereotype. Because every one of us is unique. We all have dreams that we want to make come true…" His eyes found mine. "We all want to be worthy and prosperous. We set goals, being sure failures will never stand in our ways. We walk the roads that we choose, hoping to find what we are looking for. But in the end, it all comes to who we are. Are we strong enough to fight for our dreams? Are we smart enough to build the careers we want? Are we honest enough to admit it when we are wrong? There are so many questions and so little time to find the answers, because we have only one life to live. And it's up to us to decide how we're gonna live it."

  The students applauded and I knew Jeffrey managed to get their attention. As well as I knew his father wouldn't mind commenting on what Jeffrey just said, because unlike his son, he was sure that the final word would always belong to him.

  After Jeffrey retook his seat next to me again, it was time for questions. Students started asking Mr. Coleman about the secrets of his career, business strategies and everything in between.

  "Was my speech worth the reward?" Jeffrey asked in a whisper.

  "Absolutely."