Summa Cum Liar

by Ali Franklin

  “A hiking vacation in Breckenridge was such a good idea in theory,” he said, “but my college friends and I are a few years older now. It’s taking a long time to get used to the altitude.”

  “I’ll bet you’re doing more drinking than hiking.”

  He laughed. “You do know your dad, Knickerbocker.”

  She chuckled at his use of her old nickname.

  “I’ve been thinking about you,” he said. “I thought I’d call while you were on my mind. How’re you doing?”

  “There’s a situation on campus. A student is threatening to air some professors’ dirty laundry in public.”

  He whistled. “That doesn’t sound like the Haverwood College I know. Can’t you talk him out of it?”

  “Maybe, if we knew who it was.” She adopted a lighter tone and asked, “What are you up to today?”

  “We just finished rafting down the Arkansas River. It was pretty hairy. We hit this big rapid and CJ just about fell out of the boat.”

  Nicki laughed, knowing the group would never have let CJ, an avid fitness enthusiast and bodybuilder, live it down if she’d ended up in the water.

  “I was going to ask if you’ve made any headway on your big career decision,” he said. “But it sounds like you’ve got other things to worry about today.”

  “Yeah,” said Nicki. “I haven’t had much time to think about Jack’s offer, but I will.”

  Jack Prieto was the lead detective of the Haverwood County Sheriff’s Department. He and Nicki had cooperated a few times on cases at the college. Based on their work together—and Nicki’s background with the LAPD—Jack had recently offered Nicki a position on his team.

  “I’d better let you get back to it,” he said.

  “Thanks. We need to stop this guy before he starts a rumor that ends someone’s career.”

  “I know you’ll get ‘em, Nick. You always do.” Her dad’s pride was evident in his voice.

  Nicki thanked him and promised to call that weekend. As she laid her phone back on the desk, one of her patrol officers poked his head through the door.

  “There’s a group of faculty to see you, Chief.”

  “Thanks, Cooper. Show them in.”

  Cooper nodded and disappeared. Nicki stood, straightening her uniform shirt and smoothing down her pants. She never knew what to expect from faculty. She took a deep breath.

  Cooper reappeared with four faculty members: Rick Jensen and Drs. Bobbi Herman, David Anderly and Gregory Carpenter. Nicki stood silently while Cooper borrowed one more chair from the break room and the faculty members arranged themselves on the other side of her desk.

  She remained standing. “What can I do for you all?”

  The professors looked at each other and seemed to settle on Gregory Carpenter as their spokesperson.

  “Chief,” he said. “We want to know what you’re doing about this reprobate who’s threatening to ruin our lives.”

  Nicki measured her words carefully as she sat. “Dr. Carpenter, do you have any reason to think this person is focused on you?”

  “We don’t know who he’s focused on. We just want him stopped before he hurts one of us.”

  The other professors nodded.

  “Do any of you know who it is?” asked Nicki.

  Gregory leaned forward in his chair. “As a matter of fact, we have a list of suspects.”

  “Suspects,” repeated Nicki.

  Bobbi spoke up. “We all know who the troublemakers are on campus. You know as well as we do.”

  Nicki picked up a pen and looked back at her, eyebrows raised.

  “It won’t be a surprise that Kenn Kennedy is at the top of our list,” said Bobbi. “He’s been causing problems ever since he arrived at Haverwood. And he knows how to use a computer.”

  Nicki wrote K Kennedy on her blotter. She looked back at the professors.

  Rick scribbled in a tiny notebook, then looked up. “There’s also Cynthia Bowers. She’s a computer science major who had a problem with my journalism class. And Gregory’s business class.”

  “She threatened me,” said Gregory.

  Nicki shot her eyes toward him. “Exactly how did she do that?”

  “She said she’d make sure every student gave me bad evaluations that semester, in every class.”

  “Did she do it?”

  Gregory shrugged. “My results were essentially the same as usual, not that I care.”

  Nicki knew that meant the reviews had skewed toward the negative. She didn’t add Cynthia’s name to the list. She leaned back in her chair and surveyed the four professors. Then she had an idea.

  “Are we sure it’s a student?” she asked.

  “Of course it’s a student,” David practically shouted. “Who else would assail a faculty member like this?”

  “Faculty members are people, just like anyone else,” countered Nicki. “Sometimes they even have enemies unrelated to the college.”

  The professors looked at each other as if this was the first time they’d taken that possibility into account.

  “I think it’s related to the college,” said Rick. “They used the campus alert system and the school paper to send their messages.”

  “If it was someone unconnected to Haverwood,” said Bobbi, “they could have gone to the Dallas Morning Gazette or Action Texas Four.”

  “Has anyone else ever tapped into the alert system to send a message like this?” asked Rick.

  “Not to my knowledge,” said Nicki.

  “What about publishing anonymous messages in the Herald?”

  “No.”

  Rick made a note.

  Nicki looked at him. “Why are you asking so many questions?”

  “I’m a curious guy. Blame it on my liberal arts education.”

  She pointed to his notebook. “This conversation has to be off the record.”

  “But this is an important story.”

  “You can’t publicize the fact that faculty members are accusing students, and I don’t want you revealing our suspect list.” She glanced down at her notes. “As improbable as it is.”

  Rick clenched his jaw. “I’ll just make notes for background. When the story does come out, I want my version to be thorough.”

  Nicki nodded, then looked to the others. “Anyone else on your list of suspects?”

  “The Wonder Twins,” said David.

  The other faculty nodded their agreement.

  Nicki wrote two names on her list. Brianna Eatherly and Eli Barnett, known around campus as “the Wonder Twins,” were best friends and technology entrepreneurship majors who were determined to create The Next Big Breakthrough in technology. They studied the success stories of people like Jeff Bezos, Marisa Mayer and Michael Dell. And they made no secret of the fact that their goal was total world domination.

  “The IT office is tracing the alert and the ad in the paper,” said Nicki. “I expect they’ll have an answer before long.”

  “What if that’s too late?” asked Gregory. “If they release damaging information, one of us could lose our job in an instant. Our position, our tenure, our pension.”

  Rick said, “What if they release false information? The damage will already be done.” He stared at Nicki, his pen poised over his pad.

  “You need to shut down the emergency alert system,” said Bobbi. “Don’t give them another chance to use it.”

  “That would put us at risk,” said Nicki.

  “Our faculty are at risk,” said Bobbi. “Any one of us could be in their sights.”

  “We should suspend the campus email system,” said David.

  Nicki shook her head. “You really want us to shut off the main communication hub between you and your colleagues and your students?” She took a deep breath. “I understand you’re all concerned. We’re concerned as well. Any damage done to a faculty member is damage done to the entire college community.”

  Rick frowned as he wrote in his notebook.

  “You don’t want to sh
ut down the alert system or campus email,” said Gregory. “So what are you going to do?”

  “We’re investigating every lead, and we’ll find the Paladin,” said Nicki. She stood. “Now if you’ll all excuse me, I have a lot of work to do.”

  “Are you going to look at the students we just told you about?” asked David.

  “Like I said, we’ll investigate every lead. Though some leads are more plausible than others.”

  Bobbi picked up her bag and stood. “I guess we’ll have to go to Oscar about this.”

  The remaining faculty members joined Bobbi and walked out the door.

  Just before he disappeared out of sight, Gregory turned around and pointed a finger at Nicki. “This could be your job, Statton.”

  Probably not, she thought, but it could be yours.

  ☐ ☐ ☐

  The next morning, Ryan ushered Eli Barnett and Brianna Eatherly—otherwise known as “the Wonder Twins”— into Nicki’s office. The young women walked in with grins on their faces, chins held high.

  Ryan looked at Nicki. One corner of the chief’s mouth crept upward a fraction of an inch.

  “Thank you for coming in on a Saturday,” said Nicki. “We appreciate your time.”

  The students sat without being asked. Brianna threw her arm across the back of her chair and leaned back. Eli slouched like a sullen teenager, shoulders slouched, not making eye contact.

  Ryan recalled what she knew about the two students. They’d been assigned to the same residence-hall floor during their first semester and become fast friends. They were soon inseparable, leading to the “twins” moniker, which stuck because of the irony: besides being different genders, one was tall, the other short. One was black, one was white. One was thin and one was not. After their first big hack, the “twins” became the “Wonder Twins.”

  During their three years on campus, the duo had built a Haverwood dating app, hosted a service connecting tutors with students needing help and even created an app that facilitated women borrowing each other’s shoes. Unmasking faculty secrets might be more pernicious than anything they’d done before, but they were capable of doing it.

  Ryan closed the office door and sat in the chair next to Eli. Nicki remained standing. She shuffled through some papers on her desk. Then she looked at the students with her most serious expression. Before she could begin, Brianna spoke:

  “We wondered how long it would take you to ask for help.”

  If Nicki was surprised, she didn’t show it. Ryan gaped in disbelief.

  Finally, Nicki gave a half-smile and sat. “You think we called you here for help?”

  Confusion flashed over Brianna’s face.

  “We called you here because we want to know how deeply involved you are with this Paladin business,” said Nicki.

  Eli turned to his friend, but Brianna’s eyes were locked with Nicki’s.

  Finally, Brianna smiled. “So you do need our help.”

  “Only if you’re the Paladin,” said the chief. “And with your record of using campus computers for your little ‘projects,’” Nicki made air quotes with her fingers, “I think it’s a distinct possibility.”

  “Oh, please,” said Brianna. “If we were the Paladin, we would’ve already released the information about the professors. Taking all this time to build suspense isn’t our thing.”

  Eli turned to Ryan and spoke for the first time. “You can’t honestly believe it’s us.”

  “Why not?” asked Ryan.

  “Because we only have one goal,” answered Brianna. “We’re going to build the greatest platform the world has ever seen. Doing something like this would be a distraction.”

  “So what kind of platform are you working on?” asked Ryan.

  Eli started to speak, but Brianna cut him off.

  “We’re not telling you.” Seeing the startled look on the dean’s face, Brianna added, “We’re not telling anyone. This breakthrough is so disruptive it’s going to change the face of—” She stopped and raised a finger to her lips. “It’s going to be epic.”

  Nicki rolled her eyes. “Everybody thinks they have the next big idea. What makes yours different?”

  “You’ll see,” said Brianna. “But you’ll have to buy it just like everyone else.”

  Ryan leaned toward Eli and said, “I can tell you’re focused on your work. So let’s get this Paladin thing out of the way. Can you prove it’s not you?”

  While Eli considered the question, Brianna answered:

  “When you’ve got a skill set like ours, it’s hard to prove we didn’t do it. I mean, we can write code better than anybody and bounce a signal better than the NSA.” Brianna looked back at Nicki as she continued. “We could be the Paladin.”

  “But—” said Eli, cutting her response short as Brianna leaned toward her.

  “—It’s not us,” Brianna finished.

  “Could you prove that someone else didn’t do it?” asked Ryan.

  Brianna leaned forward, forearms resting on her knees. “And there it is. You do want our help.”

  “No,” said Nicki firmly. “We’re not asking for your help in finding the Paladin. We’re asking if you think it’s possible for the Paladin to be found.”

  “I think it could be done,” said Eli. “If you have somebody in mind, you can get into their computer and search for the code. But if you don’t know where to start, that’s going to be a problem.”

  “What do you think the Paladin’s motive is?” asked Ryan.

  Brianna sat back in her chair and rubbed the back of her neck. “He’s going to make money from this somehow. He’s probably blackmailing the professors.”

  “That’s one theory,” said Ryan. “But what if he’s not in it for the money?”

  “Why wouldn’t he be in it for the money?” asked Brianna. “Isn’t that why anybody does anything?”

  “Just for the sake of argument,” said Nicki. “Why else would someone do something like this?”

  “For the glory,” said Eli.

  Brianna shot him a look that made him close his mouth.

  “Hackers and coders love to show off their skills,” she said. “They’ll brag even more if they make money, but breaking through a new firewall or developing a more elegant solution is enough to make you a legend in the community.”

  “Do you think revealing professor’s secrets is enough to make the Paladin a legend?” asked Nicki.

  Brianna shrugged. “If he can bring down someone everybody hates, he’ll be a hero. Then he can move on to bringing down someone else.” She thought for a minute. “Actually, this guy might be a genius.”

  Brianna turned to Eli. “It could be like an online hit man. Somebody puts out a contract on someone, and you dig up all the dirt you can and publish it to a site everyone knows.”

  “It would get a ton of traffic,” said Eli, speaking quickly. “People would go there every day to see the new content.”

  “Monetize it with ads from lawyers and PR firms…” Brianna leaned further toward her friend. They put their heads together and spoke even faster about the possibilities.

  “Site traffic…”

  “Click-through…”

  “Subscriptions.” They bumped fists.

  “Focus!” said Nicki. “We’re trying to keep people from losing their jobs.”

  Brianna pulled out her phone and made notes as quickly as her thumbs could tap.

  “We just need a little more information from you,” said Nicki. “Can you give us anything that might help us track down the Paladin?”

  Eli started to answer, but Brianna laid a hand on his shoulder.

  “If you want to hire us to find the Paladin, we’ll be happy to do it,” said Brianna. “But we don’t work for free. We don’t even work cheap.”

  Ryan looked at Nicki, whose cheeks were turning pink.

  She’s about to blow.

  “Chief Statton,” said Ryan. “I think Ms. Eatherly and Mr. Barnett have told us everything they kno
w.”

  Nicki rose and looked at her watch. “Right. And we have that appointment with the cyber—” she looked at Ryan with wide eyes, as though she’d almost given away too much information

  Brianna was all ears. “Cyber who?”

  “I’m not at liberty to say,” said Nicki. “Suffice it to say we’ll have this wrapped up soon.”

  Ryan rose. “Thanks for coming in, ladies. We appreciate your take on the situation.”

  Brianna could tell they were being ushered out, but she made one last attempt to become the college’s security consultant. “So when would you like us to start tracking down the Paladin?”

  Nicki laughed aloud. “We won’t be hiring you. You obviously have other things on your plate.”

  Eli’s shoulders sagged, but Brianna kept a brave face.

  “Your loss,” she said.

  The students rose and walked out the door. Ryan was closing it behind them when Brianna stepped halfway back into the room.

  “What do you think we should call our new hitman app?” she asked.

  Nicki looked at her with narrowed eyes. “I recommend you don’t call it a ‘hitman app.’ That might encourage the wrong kind of clientele.”

  “Goodbye, Brianna,” said Ryan.

  The students continued to trade ideas as they walked out of the station. When Ryan and Nicki heard the outer door close behind them, they both let out a sigh.

  “Those two are the future of the internet?” asked Nicki.

  “May Zuckerberg save us.”

  ☐ ☐ ☐

  Kenn Kennedy didn’t understand his girlfriend’s reticence. They’d messed around all over campus since they started dating two years ago, but something was holding her back tonight. He wanted to know what it was.

  “Come on, babe. Let daddy have a little sugar.”

  “Eww, gross. You’ll make me think of my father.”

  The last thing he wanted to do was remind Laura about her dad. Dr. Squire had never taken to Kenn, and their relationship was a source of constant friction between Laura and the good doctor.

  Kenn and Laura had been playfully chasing each other through the library for the last fifteen minutes. He tried kissing her on the main floor, but she squirmed away and ran up the stairs to the second floor. They walked calmly past rows of tables dotted with earbud-sporting students. Kenn was sure they’d find an unoccupied corner somewhere on that floor, but they’d had no luck. They moved up to the next floor.