by Zandria West
‘Our blessings on all you do, emissary,’ he says formally, then turns away to return to the preparations.
‘I will show our visitor out of the village, shall I? Make sure he doesn’t fall into any more traps,’ Irena says drily. I follow her as she leads me back through the way I came. ‘Something’s gone wrong, hasn’t it?’ she says finally, in a fierce whisper, as we pass through the outskirts and into the forest beyond. ‘You shouldn’t be here. The demons shouldn’t be attacking so soon. What’s going on?’
‘I wish I knew,’ I say bitterly. ‘Lana is gone. We don’t know where.’
Irena lets out an expletive so colourful that it surprises even me.
‘I meant what I said though. I will come back, as soon as I can, and help defend the village.’
She snorts at that. ‘Defend them from the demons so you can kill them yourself, you mean?’
The shame I feel is greater than my rage, and I bow my head. ‘I wish there were another way,’ I admit.
‘Do you mean that?’ She looks across at me, curiously.
‘Of course.’
‘Then there is something you should know,’ Irena says softly. ‘Lana and Graciela were arguing. I’d come to collect some clothes I’d left at Graciela’s house. I stood at the door and I heard them.’
I freeze. Graciela refused to tell Gabriel the substance of the argument she had with Lana, and now I am desperate to know but also, somehow, scared to learn the truth.
‘It was about the spell and the sacrifice,’ she says.
‘I could have guessed,’ I breathe.
‘Lana said there was another way. That witch, Garenda, told her about it. She could give up the Binding, and Gabriel’s magic would power the Barrier spell. Graciela told Lana that she would have to die too, to complete the spell that way.’
Ice-cold shock moves through me. I see it in an instant. That is what Lana is hiding, that is why she ran. That is why she does not wish to be found, even by us. Especially by us. She has chosen her path, and she knows we will do anything to stop her walking it. She will give up the magic that joins us, then give up her own life, to save the lives of those innocents so desperate for her protection.
‘No,’ I say, shaking my head. The thought of her dying is inconceivable, unbearable.
‘Hurts doesn’t it, thinking you might lose someone you love?’ Irena gives me a sad smile. ‘But I must say, I’m impressed. If Lana has the guts to do this, then she’s tougher than I gave her credit for.’
‘I have to go,’ I say. I must find Gabriel and tell him. I must find the others. We have to locate Lana, before it is too late. If we cannot change her mind, then at least she must not do this thing alone.
It is hard to kill an angel, but not impossible. At this moment, if given the choice, I would die with Lana rather than let her go alone into those grey lands beyond the realm of the living.
I turn to leave, but before I am able to take a step, there’s a giant, earth shattering explosion and the world around me seems to shatter. It is like a vision of hell itself. Fire rains down, ash and earth and blood. I hear screaming and crying, and cruel, harsh yells.
There’s no time. I have no choice. I am an Angel, a servant of the God of Light. This world is under attack. I must defend the innocent. I must protect them from the destruction that the demon hordes are about to bring down upon them.
I close my eyes and pray to the God of Light for strength, pray for Lana’s protection, then I turn to face the attackers.
27
LANA
Something is tickling my cheek. I turn away. It must be one of my men trying to wake me. I’m tired and heavy, my body aches. I don’t want to wake up. A moment later I remember where I am. The cool damp of the soil that I’m lying on has seeped through my clothes and chilled me to the bones. The hard point of a tree root pokes uncomfortably into my hip. How long did I sleep for?
It takes me a few seconds to realise I can move. I’m not trapped in place anymore. The Goddess has released me. A faint light is softening the sky. Dawn is not far off. Dawn! I must be ready to perform the Barrier spell as the sun rises. I’m far from Graciela’s house and far from my men. I’m going to have to break the Binding that connects us and face my death alone – unable even to see them one last time, unable to explain what is happening or why. I choke on a sob, my whole body shaking with fear. I can’t do it. I can’t do this. I’m not ready to die. I gasp a breath of cool mountain air, and for a moment everything feels so vivid – the dry leaves and dirt beneath me, the touch of the breeze, the faint smell of smoke on the air…
Smoke?
I’m high above the village. The smell of smoke from the cooking fires barely reached us even at Graciela’s house. My senses sharpen. I close my eyes. As I do, the barriers fall within me, and I allow the magic of the Binding to flow again. I become aware of everything my men are feeling, seeing, smelling, tasting. Panic and terror and sorrow rush through me. Fire and noise, chaos, confusion. Pain. While I have slept, the demons attacked. My men are fighting.
How has this happened?
My heart races as I stumble up to standing. My legs are still half-asleep. Pins and needles create sparks of pain in my feet and calves. I stagger, off balance, down the path towards Graciela’s house. There’s no time to waste. The nightmare is here, now. I must act without hesitation, with all my power, when the moment comes. I know that Graciela created a synchronicity spell, a kind of magical alarm clock visible to all members of the Circle. It will begin to spark ten minutes before the Barrier is to be re-made, will flare brightly so all the Circle knows when the spell should begin. It was an intricate and complex piece of magic. I saw my mother poring over old books and collecting ingredients from bottles and shelves, frowning half the night before she finally murmured the words in some ancient tongue, creating her spell the moment the sun began to rise.
I wish I knew how long I have until that final flare, but my sense of time is hazy. It could be hours or minutes – I have no idea. I’ve barely made it a dozen steps when I see a figure racing at full-speed towards me, muscular and tall, brown hair flowing around his shoulders. I sense him before I see him. The essence of his being and the strength of our connection catch me full in the centre of my chest, so intensely that it knocks the breath from my lungs.
Reuben.
‘Lana!’ he cries. ‘I’ve found you. You’re safe, I’ve found you. I searched all night. I’d almost given up. And then when I felt you at last through the Binding –’
I fall into his arms, and he draws me close, not asking any of the questions that I’m sure he’s desperate to have answers to, just holding me so that for a moment I feel that sense of calm and stillness that he always seems to bring. I breathe him in and close my eyes, letting my forehead rest against the hard breadth of his chest. He strokes my back, my hair, my shoulders. He places kisses almost everywhere he can reach – my eyes, my ears, my mouth. The kisses become fierce, filled with a fire of fear and longing. I want to melt into him, to give myself to him, but I pull away. There isn’t time. If he’s not going to ask any questions, I sure as hell am.
‘What’s happening? Where are the others? Are they safe?’
Reuben’s still running his fingers over my cheek and jaw like he can’t believe I’m real.
‘The demon attack has begun, cub. They reached the village during the night. Grayson and Alex have stayed to help the villagers defend themselves, and Gabriel and Graciela were working to build some magical protection to prevent them from making further gains on the mountain. I was left to seek for you. I thought I’d never find you. I thought they’d get to you before I would…’ The horror is heavy in his voice. As he speaks, understanding dawns.
‘The demons. They’re searching for me,’ I say. ‘That’s why they’re here.’
Reuben frowns but doesn’t dispute it.
‘They’ll tear the village apart looking for me. Those people, those innocent people…’
�
��The elderly and children have fled to the caves,’ Reuben says. ‘They’re safe there for now. Alex and Grayson are fighting on the outskirts of the village. They will hold fast for some time yet.’
‘Reuben, there’s something I have to tell you…’ I begin, fear rushing cold in my veins. I don’t know how I’m even going to be able to say the words.
He shakes his head and puts a finger on my lips. ‘Not now, Lana. There’s no time. Now, I run.’
He sweeps an arm around my waist and in one smooth movement picks me up, cradling me like a child against him. He begins to lope back down the path towards Graciela’s house. The indignity of being carried is outweighed by the relief at being close to him. The forest passes us by quickly. He’s a much faster runner than I am. I allow my eyes to close for a moment and I reach through the Binding.
I’m here. I’m safe, I send the thought with as much power as I can muster. I feel the slight rebounding as Alex hears me. It’s hard to explain but it’s almost like a muted echo. When I hear it, I know that the thought has reached him.
Lana – We were so scared for you, Alex returns. You’re not hurt? You’re really not hurt?
I’m fine. I’m so sorry. I couldn’t reach you.
We’re waiting for you, he thinks, and I feel the urgency behind the thought. We’re ready. We’ll help you do what must be done.
I freeze, pulling my mind away. I know he means the Sacrifice. The villagers.
Then I hear another voice, one that I’ve never heard so clearly in my thoughts before. It’s Gabriel, reaching for me through the magical connection he created.
Hurry, Lana, there is little time.
I flinch at the forcefulness of the command. Woven as it is with the magic of the Binding, it creates an almost physical pull, drawing me toward him.
‘Easy, Gabe. I’m going as fast as I can…’ Reuben mutters.
Then I feel something that shocks me, a sudden sharp pain. I cry out.
It’s okay, Alex tries to reassure me, but there’s something in his tone that only makes me more afraid.
What was that?
Grayson. He’s fine though.
He’s hurt? I struggle for a moment against Reuben’s hold on me, like I could travel faster without him, like I could fly straight to where Alex and Grayson are and somehow protect them from the danger they face. I force myself to be still. I know the only way I can protect them now is by banishing the demons back to their own realm, re-making the Barrier spell.
He’ll live. Angels are hard to kill. Believe me, I’ve tried. I can almost see Alex’s quick smile.
I look down the path. Graciela’s house has come into view. We’re almost there. Reuben slows as we approach. The house lies dark and silent. A door opens and Graciela steps out to meet us.
‘My child, where were you?’ she exclaims. I feel Reuben grip me tighter for a second like he doesn’t want to let me go at all. I wriggle until he places me on my feet.
‘How long do I have?’ I ask. I don’t have time to answer her questions.
‘Not long. Twenty minutes at the most.’
Twenty minutes.
‘I need to see the others. I need my men. We need to all be together.’
Graciela frowns impatiently. ‘You will see them soon enough. Grayson and Alex are at the village, which is where we must go too. You will implore the villagers to Sacrifice themselves to the power of Izushi. Given the desperation and lateness, I will add some persuasive power of my own to urge them along. You will distribute the potion amongst them. The timing must be exact.’
I swallow. For a moment, I teeter on the edge of agreement. It would be so easy just to say yes, to go along with this plan knowing that when it is done, when this day is over, I could return to whatever life I choose with my men by my side. I’d be a hero: the girl who saved the human realm from having to fight a war we could never win. Better still, I’d be alive. The longing for life, for a future, for some escape from the horror that lies before me is so powerful it takes my breath away. Then an image comes to me of the child I brought back from near death, the way she gazed at me with such trust in her dark grey eyes. I stand up straighter and shake my head.
‘No,’ I say.
Graciela’s jaw tightens. ‘No? What do you mean?’
At that moment, Gabriel steps from the house. He seems shrouded in darkness, pale and almost wraithlike, as though whatever magic he has been casting has almost taken his human substance from him.
‘There’s another way,’ I say, turning to look at Reuben and then Gabriel as I say it. They’re the ones who need my explanation. More than anything, I want them to understand, to forgive me for what I’m about to do. ‘Garenda told me, and Izushi herself confirmed it.’
‘Izushi?’ Graciela’s mouth hangs open in shock.
‘You mean, the actual goddess?’ Reuben growls, looking at me intently.
I nod. ‘I met her in the forest. She told me what I needed to know. That Garenda spoke the truth, for once in her miserable life. I can use the magic of the Binding to power the Barrier spell. I can use the energy of my own life-force to seal it and make certain that it will hold strong for millennia to come, with the bonus effect of ensuring the Dark God doesn’t hitch a ride back on my magic, as per the agreement he made with the Great Witch.’
I see confusion written on Reuben’s strong face. ‘But… the Binding? Your life-force? You mean –’
‘She will die,’ Graciela confirms, her voice cold. ‘That is your choice? Death?’ she asks me, her eyes hard with fury.
‘I’m not a goddess. I can’t ask people to sacrifice their lives to me when I’m not willing to give my own life. It is my choice. One life to save many.’
‘I cannot allow it,’ Gabriel begins, his eyes flaring with dark fire. ‘I made a promise to your father – ‘
‘You’ve kept it, Gabe. Every word of it and more. Knowing you, being with you – with all of you –that’s been the best part of my life. I wouldn’t give it up for anything. Except this. Please, I’m begging you. You know I’m right. This is what I have to do. I just… I need to see Alex and Grayson. I want to tell them myself.’
Graciela casts me a hard look. ‘We can’t risk it. Demons are already on the outskirts of the village. If the sacrifice is not to be performed, then the village is the last place I would willingly take you.’ Her voice is fierce and cold.
I look to where Gabriel is pacing, hands clenched to fists, facing away from me into the darkness of the forest. I feel his desperation through the Binding. He turns back to me, as though sensing my gaze.
‘We need to destroy the Binding, Gabriel. That energy will power the Barrier spell,’ I say.
Gabriel nods, his eyes so dark as to be unreadable. Something breaks inside me. Somehow, I manage to stay standing, to keep breathing, but I feel like I’m disintegrating into a million pieces. The thought of never seeing Alex’s wicked smile and perfect blue eyes again, never knowing Grayson’s heart, so broken and so fierce, it is more than I can bear. I hear Graciela talking, though it feels like it’s coming from far away.
‘You remember the spell?’ she is saying. ‘You know what you must do?’
I close my eyes, unable to prevent hot tears from streaming down my cheeks. We practised the words over and over again until I could recite them in my sleep. I understand the technicalities of how the spell is to be cast. But always I imagined this moment would be with the four men around me, their closeness strengthening my resolve and fortifying my magic.
Maybe it’s better this way, I think. Alex and Grayson will try to stop me. I can’t let anything stop me now, I know that the choice I’m making is the right one.
Graciela is still talking. I try to focus on her words, to hear them simply as instruction, not as the story of the end of everything I love.
‘To draw on the power of the Binding, you must break it from both ends. You must release your connection, Lana, and Gabriel must release his, simultaneously. There is no ti
me to give a technical explanation. In short, the magic that is released will be orphaned, if you will, seeking a home. It will be drawn to where there is a gap, a need – the Barrier spell that you will be casting. The process itself should not be difficult and will not take long.’
‘And… after?’ I ask, my voice coming at barely a whisper. I know what comes after. I just had never thought about how.
Reuben steps closer to me, placing his large hands on my shoulders. ‘Lana, let me offer myself as the Sacrifice. I would happily stand in your place…’ His eyes are pleading, imploring me. I know he means it. He would give his life up without hesitation to save mine. A lump forms like a solid cylinder of rock in my throat.
I try not to cry as I shake my head. ‘My life is bound up with the power of the spell. My life force will complete it. And my death will hold the Dark God to his banishment. That is something that no other sacrifice will achieve.’
He turns away and I see his face contort with pain.
‘The potion I prepared for the villagers is fast-acting and painless. It will be as though you drift to sleep, and your dreams will be peaceful ones…’ Graciela says. I hear her voice breaking. ‘If there was anything I could do to change your mind, my daughter, to steer you from this path…’
I shake my head, unable to speak.
‘Then, let us prepare ourselves. We do not have long now. We should walk down to the Leestone. It will help the resonance of the magic, as all the Circle join in the spell-making.’
I nod, wiping my eyes. I feel numb. All I can do is whatever next thing is asked of me. I follow my mother as she walks down the path, Gabriel and Reuben either side of me. I feel Alex through the Binding. I do not think he’s heard the detail of what we discussed, but he caught enough that his concern is rapidly rising to panic.
Lana…. Lana don’t do this. Please, don’t do this my love. Wait for me, we can figure something out together. There must be another way, Lana, please…
I love you – I send with all the strength I have within me. Please, tell Grayson.