The Stories of the Three Burglars

by Frank Richard Stockton

I never saw aburglar."

  I did not wish my wife to go downstairs, but as I knew there would be nouse in objecting, I consented. She hastily dressed herself, making mewait for her; and when she left the room she locked the door on thesleeping George William, in order that no one should get at him duringher absence. As we passed the head of the stairs, the door of my AuntMartha's room opened, and there she stood, completely dressed, with herbonnet on, and a little leather bag in her hand.

  "I heard so much talking and so much going up and down stairs that Ithought I had better be ready to do whatever had to be done. Is itfire?"

  "No," said my wife; "it's three burglars tied in a bunch in the library.I am going down to see them."

  My Aunt Martha gasped, and looked as if she were going to sit down onthe floor.

  "Goodness gracious!" she said, "if you're going I'll go too. I can't letyou go alone, and I never did see a burglar."

  I hurried down and left the two ladies on the stairs until I was sureeverything was still safe; and when I saw that there had been no changein the state of affairs, I told them to come down.

  When my wife and Aunt Martha timidly looked in at the library door, theeffect upon them and the burglars was equally interesting. The ladieseach gave a start and a little scream, and huddled themselves close tome, and the three burglars gazed at them with faces that expressed moreastonishment than any I had ever seen before. The stout fellow gave ventto a smothered exclamation, and the face of the young man flushed, butnot one of them spoke.

  "Are you sure they are tied fast?" whispered my Aunt Martha to me.

  "Perfectly," I answered; "if I had not been sure I should not haveallowed you to come down."

  Thereupon the ladies picked up courage and stepped further into theroom.

  "Did you and David catch them?" asked my aunt; "and how in the world didyou do it?"

  "I'll tell you all about that another time," I said, "and you had bettergo upstairs as soon as you two have seen what sort of people are thesecowardly burglars who sneak or break into the houses of respectablepeople at night, and rob and steal and ruin other people's property withno more conscience or human feeling than is possessed by the rats whichsteal your corn, or the polecats which kill your chickens."

  "I can scarcely believe," said Aunt Martha, "that that young man is areal burglar."

  At these words the eyes of the fellow spoken of glowed as he fixed themon Aunt Martha, but he did not say a word, and the paleness which hadreturned to his face did not change.

  "Have they told you who they are?" asked my wife.

  "I haven't asked them," I said. "And now don't you think you had bettergo upstairs?"

  "It seems to me," said Aunt Martha, "that those ropes must hurt them."

  The tall man now spoke. "Indeed they do, madam," he said in a low voiceand very respectful manner, "they are very tight."

  I told David to look at all the cords and see if any of them were tootightly drawn.

  "It's all nonsense, sir," said he, when he had finished the examination;"not one of the ropes is a bit too tight. All they want is a chance topull out their ugly hands."

  "Of course," said Aunt Martha, "if it would be unsafe to loosen theknots I wouldn't do it. Are they to be sent to prison?"

  "Yes," said I; "as soon as the day breaks I shall send down for thepolice."

  I now heard a slight sound at the door, and turning, saw Alice, our maidof the house, who was peeping in at the door. Alice was a modest girl,and quite pretty.

  "I heard the noise and the talking, sir," she said, "and when I foundthe ladies had gone down to see what it was, I thought I would cometoo."

  "And where is the cook," asked my wife; "don't she want to seeburglars?"

  "Not a bit of it," answered Alice, very emphatically. "As soon as I toldher what it was she covered up her head with the bedclothes anddeclared, ma'am, that she would never get up until they were entirelygone out of the house."

  At this the stout man grinned.

  "I wish you'd all cover up your heads," he said. The tall man looked athim severely, and he said no more.

  David did not move from his post near the three burglars, but he turnedtoward Alice and looked at her. We knew that he had tender feelingstoward the girl, and I think that he did not approve of her being there.

  "Have they stolen anything?" asked Aunt Martha.

  "They have not had any chance to take anything away," I said; and mywife remarked that whether they had stolen anything or not, they hadmade a dreadful mess on the floor, and had broken the table. They shouldcertainly be punished.

  At this she made a motion as if she would leave the room, and ananxious expression immediately came on the face of the tall man, who hadevidently been revolving something in his mind.

  "Madam," he said, "we are very sorry that we have broken your table, andthat we have damaged some of your glass and your carpet. I assure you,however, that nothing of the kind would have happened but for thatdrugged wine, which was doubtless intended for a medicine, and not abeverage; but weary and chilled as we were when we arrived, madam, wewere glad to partake of it, supposing it ordinary wine."

  I could not help showing a little pride at the success of my scheme.

  "The refreshment was intended for fellows of your class, and I am veryglad you accepted it."

  The tall man did not answer me, but he again addressed my wife.

  "Madam," he said, "if you ladies would remain and listen to me a fewmoments, I am sure I would make you aware that there is much toextenuate the apparent offence which I have committed to-night."

  My wife did not answer him, but turning to me said, smiling, "If healludes to their drinking your wine he need not apologize."

  The man looked at her with an expression as if her words had pained him.

  "Madam," he said, "if you consent to listen to my explanations and thestory of this affair, I am sure your feelings toward me would not be soharsh."

  "Now, then," said my Aunt Martha, "if he has a story to tell he ought tobe allowed to tell it, even in a case like this. Nobody should be judgeduntil he has said what he thinks he ought to say. Let us hear hisstory."

  I laughed. "Any statement he may make," I said, "will probably deserve amuch stronger name than stories."

  "I think that what you say is true," remarked my wife; "but still if hehas a story to tell I should like to hear it."

  I think I heard David give a little grunt; but he was too well bred tosay anything.

  "Very well," said I, "if you choose to sit up and hear him talk, it isyour affair. I shall be obliged to remain here anyway, and will notobject to anything that will help to pass away the time. But these menmust not be the only ones who are seated. David, you and Alice can clearaway that broken table and the rest of the stuff, and then we might aswell sit down and make ourselves comfortable."

  Alice, with cloth and brush, approached very timidly the scene of thedisaster; but the younger burglar, who was nearest to her, gazed uponher with such a gentle and quiet air that she did not seem to befrightened. When she and David had put the room in fair order, I placedtwo easy-chairs for my wife and Aunt Martha at a moderate distance fromthe burglars, and took another myself a little nearer to them, and thentold David to seat himself near the other end of the bench, and Alicetook a chair at a little distance from the ladies.

  "Now, then," said Aunt Martha to the burglars, "I would like very muchto hear what any one of you can say in extenuation of having broken intoa gentleman's house by night."

  Without hesitation the tall man began his speech. He had a long andrather lean, close-shaven face, which at present bore the expression ofan undertaker conducting a funeral. Although it was my aunt who hadshown the greatest desire to hear his story, he addressed himself to mywife. I think he imagined that she was the more influential person ofthe two.

  "Madam," said he, "I am glad of the opportunity of giving you and yourfamily an idea of the difficulties and miseries which beset a largeclass of your fellow-be
ings of whom you seldom have any chance ofknowing anything at all, but of whom you hear all sorts of the mostmisleading accounts. Now, I am a poor man. I have suffered the greatestmiseries that poverty can inflict. I am here, suspected of havingcommitted a crime. It is possible that I may be put to considerabledifficulty and expense in proving my innocence."

  "I shouldn't wonder," I interrupted. To this remark he paid noattention.

  "Considering all this," he continued, "you may not suppose, madam, thatas a boy I was brought up most respectably and properly. My mother was areligious woman, and