Saving Hannah

by J P Barnaby

  “Are you sure you want to do this?” Aleks asked, trying to keep his expression neutral but sure he failed.

  “I’m sure.”

  “Then I’m sure too.” The tension deflated out of him just a bit, and he doubled slightly, hands on his knees.

  “You were afraid I’d back out. Why? I have everything to gain here and really nothing to lose.” Thomas stepped closer and rested a hand on Aleks’s shoulder.

  “I don’t know. I just… I don’t know.” When Aleks lost his mother, he lost the one person who loved him unconditionally. Since that time, the absence of love burned a hole in his soul, one that he never thought he’d be able to fill. Now, he at least had a chance to smooth out the jagged edges left by the loss.

  “Hey.” Thomas squeezed his hand. “At the very least, we’re friends. You’re not alone. Let’s just stay on course here and take one step at a time.”

  “Okay.”

  A man dressed in a crisp three-piece suit tapped on the inside of the doorway entrance. Aleks smiled. “Thank you for doing this, Conrad. I sincerely appreciate it.”

  “Hey, you got Falcons tickets for me so I could take my son to a game before he got deployed. That meant the world. Besides, you saved me from my wife’s book club meeting today. They’re reading that kinky Grey-something book, and I want to be nowhere around when that happens.”

  Thomas laughed but drew his hand away from Aleks’s. It seemed that his nerves were starting to get the better of him. Aleks led Conrad and the rest of their little group toward the yard. Thomas waited next to Hannah while Conrad walked past the chairs to the front. Aleks rubbed a finger against the side of Thomas’s hand, nothing obvious, just trying to show him a little support. That’s what husbands did, right? Or at least about-to-be-husbands?

  The music started, and Hannah bounced up and down in her tiny white Mary Janes. She waited until Charlotte stepped up next to her, and just as they’d talked about, she strolled down the aisle, holding her small bouquet.

  Charlotte came next, quickly and quietly taking her seat in the front. Rather than seating people by which groom they knew, Aleks made sure the attendants distributed people evenly. Wes came up the aisle next, his best man, dressed in a light gray tuxedo similar to Aleks’s in design but with more of Wes’s flair. Everyone waited patiently as he and Thomas stood side by side at the start of the aisle. Then Thomas glanced at Aleks, who watched him quietly. Then they took their first steps toward being husbands.

  A short walk later, they stood before Conrad, hand in hand, and waited. It took a minute to get started, and Aleks never left the haze of disbelief that had descended on him that morning. It was like getting everything he’d ever wanted in one moment. He repeated the words, put the ring on Thomas, and held back tears as Conrad declared them married. His lips were on Thomas’s before he could think, their kiss sealing the union. It started out light and sweet, but then Thomas responded and deepened the kiss, and Aleks had to work to keep the moment from becoming inappropriate in front of their audience.

  They needed church tongue. Aleks prayed silently that porn tongue would come later.

  ιγ͵

  THOMAS STOOD off to the side as Aleks said goodbye to the last of his—their—guests. He’d put Hannah in his mother’s car about an hour ago, asleep but smiling even in her dreams. He had to admit, it had been a good day. The ceremony—what he remembered in the whirlwind of it—went off without a hitch, and now he stood beside his husband in their new home. It made his head spin.

  Aleks closed the door and turned to face Thomas in the utter silence. They looked at each other for a long moment. Aleks’s tie hung open around his neck, while Thomas had lost his completely.

  “The guest bedroom is made up in case you’d like to sleep—” Aleks began, but Thomas held up a hand to stop him.

  “No. I want to know what would have happened that night if I’d had the balls to let it. Besides.” Thomas shrugged and slid his hands into his pockets. “You’ve done so much for us. I’d like to, you know, thank you.”

  Shock and sadness tore across Aleks’s handsome face. “Don’t have sex with me because you feel obligated.”

  He turned on his heel and headed for the stairs to the upper floor. Thomas watched him go. It took the quiet closing—not even a slam—of a door upstairs for him to move. Instead of moving toward the stairs, though, he stopped in the kitchen first.

  He grabbed a small container of strawberries left from the reception and found an unopened bottle of champagne in the refrigerator. After a little searching, he plucked two flutes from a high cabinet. Armed with his peace offering, he climbed the stairs to the second floor.

  He tapped on the door of his—their—bedroom, hesitating on the doorstep when Aleks opened it in bare feet and an open shirt. Aleks didn’t say anything; he simply backed up to let Thomas in.

  Thomas arranged the contents of his arms on top of the empty dresser and turned to face Aleks with a strawberry perched between two fingers. Aleks’s lip twitched and pursed as he held back a smile. It was a valiant effort, but the hint of one played around the corners of his mouth.

  Thomas traced the strawberry along Aleks’s lower lip, leaving a thin trail of sticky juice. When Aleks opened his mouth, Thomas fed him the fruit with a shiver at the warm suction on his fingers. The sight of his fingers in Aleks’s mouth made his cock swell. He pulled them out, and Aleks’s tongue slid across them like a dream. Thomas covered Aleks’s mouth with his and tasted the sweet tang of strawberry on his skin.

  This was better than the drunken kiss in the dorm, better than the kiss they shared in the kitchen, better than anything because as their tongues danced together, he knew they wouldn’t have to stop.

  Aleks slid a tender touch along Thomas’s jaw, his cheek, his lips.

  “I don’t know what to do,” Thomas confessed in a whisper, grasping at Aleks’s shirtfront, desperate for something to hold on to.

  “It’s okay, I do,” Aleks whispered back against the hollow of Thomas’s throat, pressing lightly against Thomas’s rapidly fluttering pulse point. “And I’ve waited for years to have you inside me.”

  The fear rushed out of Thomas like water from an overturned bucket. He’d never had sex with a guy. Knowing that he would be the one in control… that helped. It also made his cock throb. He’d been alone for so goddamn long.

  Aleks began to unbutton Thomas’s shirt, and Thomas got his hands out of the way. The last thing he wanted was to impede progress. He waited for the cool air to brush his skin before sliding it down his arms and going through the same process with Aleks’s shirt. Their undershirts came next, and Thomas ran his hand over the sleek lines of Aleks’s chest. He liked the firmness underneath the skin, so different from a woman’s softness. It was a whole new world for him, and he couldn’t wait to explore it.

  Belts, pants, and underwear came off next with a flurry of hands, and before Thomas really knew what had happened, he was lying in the center of the bed, naked, with his dick in Aleks’s hot mouth. Aleks rubbed a thumb across his hip bone, tracing small circles against his skin. Thomas had no idea what to do with his hands, so he dug his fingers into the comforter beneath him and held tight.

  He’d gotten blow jobs before, but nothing compared to the strong hands that had moved to his thighs or the tight suction of Aleks’s lips. When he slid those lips down to the base of Thomas’s dick, Thomas nearly came. The jolt of pleasure that hit him when Aleks swallowed around his cock made him weak. He wanted to give Aleks the same pleasure but couldn’t find the strength to stop him. Instead he rolled his hips, thrusting into Aleks’s mouth in a way he’d certainly never done before. Sucking his cock didn’t seem like an obligation for Aleks, but more like a pleasure.

  The moan that vibrated against his dick made him tingle in places he didn’t know he had, places he’d never tingled before. He spread his legs wide, not caring how needy he looked. A cry escaped his lips as Aleks took him exceptionally deep and the intense feelin
g in his groin grew stronger. He released his grip on the comforter and let his fingers rest in Aleks’s short hair. Aleks moaned again, and Thomas gripped his shoulder, pulling Aleks off his dick and up along his body until their lips met again. Their chests rubbed together, their hips aligned, and Thomas bucked up, desperate for friction.

  “Are you okay?” Aleks whispered, moving one hand to the back of Thomas’s neck, cradling him as if he were something precious.

  Thomas nodded, relishing the way Aleks’s dick pressed into his hip. “How do we…?”

  “I want to see your face.”

  “Where’s the lube?” Thomas asked, and Aleks rolled to the side to pluck a half-empty bottle out of the side table. He handed it to Thomas, who felt an irrational pang of jealousy. “Use that a lot?”

  “I think about you… a lot.”

  Right answer.

  “Wait. Do we need these?” Thomas held up a condom from the drawer.

  “I’m clean. Did you—?”

  “No, and I never did drugs either.”

  Aleks searched his face for a long moment.

  “I don’t want anything between us,” Aleks whispered.

  Thomas rolled them, pinning Aleks to the bed with his body.

  “You think about me when you stroke your cock?” he rumbled against Aleks’s ear. “What do you imagine?”

  “This. You. On top of me. In me.” Aleks moaned. “I imagine your mouth on me. I dream about sucking you.” Thomas covered Aleks’s mouth with his own, his cock throbbing at Aleks’s words, the images they conjured.

  “I’ve thought about you too, imagined what this would have been like, back then, now,” Thomas admitted in a whisper against Aleks’s lips. “Kissing you in our dorm made me think all kinds of things. Things that terrified me. I never thought they’d come true.”

  Aleks reached for the lube and took Thomas’s hand. He dribbled a bit of sticky wetness onto Thomas’s fingers, being careful of the sheets.

  “You want me to…?”

  “Yes.”

  “Fuck.”

  “That’s the idea.”

  Thomas crawled to the bottom of the bed, spreading Aleks’s legs open for him. For a moment he paused, just taking in the sight of Aleks on his back, his legs spread and entire body on display. Thomas’s cock was rock-hard now, harder than it had ever been.

  “Enjoying the view?”

  Thomas looked up to see Aleks smirking at him. He flushed. “Sorry.”

  “Just don’t keep me waiting too long.” He winked at Thomas. “I’ve been thinking about this for a long time.”

  “Me too,” Thomas admitted.

  “Just be gentle and use a lot of lube,” Aleks whispered.

  Thomas took a deep breath, slowly extending his hand. Heart hammering, he pressed a finger against Aleks’s hole. When Aleks gasped, Thomas looked up again, but the smirk from earlier was gone, replaced by a dreamy smile.

  That was all the encouragement Thomas needed.

  Aleks writhed beneath him when he stroked slowly, more teasing than anything. He loved the way Aleks responded to his touch. No one had ever excited him like this, not Sherry, not anyone. And when Aleks tightened around his fingers, enveloping them in hot, tight heaven, he thought he’d come on the sheets.

  “Please,” Aleks whispered, just a kiss of a sound between labored breaths.

  Thomas used the remaining lube on his fingers to stroke his cock, slick and hard in his palm. He shifted his hips and slid the tip across Aleks’s skin, an electric current running between their trembling bodies as they connected in the most intimate of ways. Thomas shifted forward, his dick glancing off its target. Another try, and he felt a pop of penetration.

  “Fuck,” Aleks moaned, even with just the tip inside him. The expression on his shadowed features held a joy Thomas rarely saw in life. He wanted more—more sensation, more friction, more of that unbridled joy.

  Thomas wrapped his arms around Aleks’s broad shoulders, holding tight, and punched forward. He didn’t slow after that first thrust, but kept his hips moving in a slow, steady rhythm, timeless in its simplicity.

  Aleks seemed beyond words, making deep cries directly into Thomas’s ear, fueling his need. A tingling fire spread beneath Thomas’s skin. Aleks hesitated at first but then threw his arms around Thomas’s back, the sweat between them cementing their bodies together.

  The sensations were hotter and sharper than he’d ever felt. Not just the physical sensations, but the energy, the emotion—everything dialed up his awareness to a new level of excitement. Aleks’s dick rubbed between them, the tip seeping liquid onto Thomas’s stomach. He hadn’t reached down yet to stroke himself, and Thomas wondered if he was trying to make the moment stretch for as long as he could.

  Thomas sure the hell was.

  They couldn’t stretch it forever, though, and it didn’t take long for Aleks to break. He slid a hand down between their bodies and jerked his cock—first to the rhythm Thomas set, and then faster. They raced down the slope of orgasm, each pulling ahead for seconds before staying neck and neck—or dick and dick, as it were.

  A hot splatter of come hit his skin, and Thomas buried his face in the hollow of Aleks’s shoulder to ride out the storm. It took a while—longer than Thomas would have imagined. All the while Aleks clung to him, his harsh sounds quieting into gasps. The tingle grew, eclipsing everything in his universe. He didn’t want to let go. He wanted it to last forever, that perfect moment where he’d lost himself. But nothing was eternal, and he flooded Aleks with the release he’d denied himself for most of his adult life.

  They didn’t say anything for a while, wrapped around each other in a tangle of limbs and spent energy. It had been years since Thomas felt so relaxed, so at ease. He slid to his side and rested his head on Aleks’s shoulder, just as he had done all those years ago. Except this time, he was stone sober.

  “I have no words,” Aleks admitted.

  Thomas reached for his hand and felt it trembling. “I don’t have them either. Tomorrow we will. Tomorrow we’ll find words.”

  “Stay? Please?” The vulnerability in Aleks’s voice cut Thomas in sensitive places. He’d had no intention of leaving, but the way Aleks needed him in that moment, he never wanted to leave again.

  ιδ͵

  ALEKS LAY in bed with his eyes closed, savoring the dream. In it, he and Thomas had made love. He’d had the dream so many times, but last night it felt—oh. Panic squeezed his chest and made him afraid to open his eyes, terrified that Thomas would be gone. It took him several minutes to build up the courage, but before he could bring himself to look, he heard laughter.

  “What’s so funny?” Aleks scooted a few inches closer. The words came out muffled against Thomas’s hair.

  “Picking out curtains.”

  “You want to pick out curtains? We can go later today.”

  “No, I mean it’s so damned bright in here around those blinds.”

  “I know. Can’t you use your elite hacker skills to turn the sun off for a bit and then turn it back on later?” Aleks huffed and rolled onto his back. He tried to take Thomas with him, but Thomas sat straight up in bed.

  “Wait. Say that again.”

  Aleks threw back the blankets and met Thomas’s gaze. “I don’t understand. You mean the part about the curtains, or turning off the sun?”

  “Oh my God, I think I’ve got it.” Thomas looked triumphant, and then his expression turned to sadness.

  “Got what?” Aleks sat up.

  Thomas ignored the question and launched himself from the bed. “I need to check the server logs, and I can’t do it remotely.” He spun to face Aleks. “We need to go to Polytech.”

  “What are you talking about? It’s Sunday; the office isn’t even open,” Aleks said as Thomas jerked a drawer open on their new dresser. He’d pulled so hard it nearly came off the rails.

  “I think I know what your father was doing with the bank software. But I need to get access to the server logs t
o know for sure.” Thomas threw a random pile of clothes on the bed.

  “That’s a PCI-compliant financial server. How do you intend to do that?” Aleks got out of bed and grabbed a pair of jeans off the back of a nearby chair.

  “From your office.”

  “You can’t possibly—” Alex threw on the jeans and joined Thomas at the dresser.

  “I can spoof a server account, but I need to be in the server room. Can you do that?” Thomas handed him one of his own shirts.

  Aleks pulled the shirt over his head, trying not to notice Thomas’s cool scent. He loved whatever bodywash the man used. “It’s my company. I can do anything.”

  THEY GOT coffee on the road because neither of them wanted to waste the ten minutes it took to brew it at home. Plus, Thomas had said Starbucks was a luxury he could get used to. Aleks had no problems spoiling him with it. Traffic didn’t hinder them as they headed into Midtown since most of the good Southern citizens were either at church or on their way to church on a lazy Sunday morning. The heathens were all at brunch.

  Aleks slid the Prius into his spot in the parking garage, and together they headed to the executives’ private elevator. He swiped his key card, and the quiet beep of the sensor made Aleks look at Thomas. There would be a record of that. Not that Aleks going into the office on a Sunday was unusual, but the day after his wedding? He prayed Thomas was wrong, and there was a good reason if he had to explain this to the board.

  “Are you sure you want to do this?” Thomas asked him as the elevator started to rise.

  “I am. They’re the company’s servers, and I have admin rights. If I access data on that server, it’s not illegal. The board may have something to say about it, but I’ll deal with that as it comes. Especially if I can tell them something about my father’s death. Several of them were good friends with him.” The elevator stopped.

  Before they took a step, he put his hand on Thomas’s arm.