Body Switches

by Barbara G. Tarn

  "I know it's tough to move, Charlie," Amy said soothingly. "And thank God the children are so small they're not really noticing..."

  "You know, when he told me he didn't love me anymore, I wanted to slap him, but I still want him, I still love him, Amy, I don't want to lose him..." Here came the sobs, and she banged her head on the table in front of her laptop. She couldn't believe her loving husband had turned into a complete stranger who seemed embarrassed to even look at her naked body and couldn't remember where she liked to be touched.

  "Charlie, stop that!" Amy chided. "You're stronger than that!"

  Charlene sniffled, then breathed deeply, trying to regain control and drying her tears with the back of her hands.

  "Better," Amy muttered, frowning at her from the laptop screen. "Now, what do we have? An estranged husband. Has he mentioned divorce?"

  "No. He's a Catholic, for Christ's sake!"

  "Good, so you're not going to lose him unless you do something stupid," Amy replied. "So, give him some room. He's not going anywhere. He wants to sleep on the couch for a week or a month, fine. As long as he doesn't leave, just let him be."

  "But I still want him!"

  "I know, honey – who wouldn't, he's such a hunk – but if he wants space, you can't suffocate him. He's a Catholic, he won't divorce you. Just be patient. He'll come round, you'll see."

  Charlene sighed heavily. "I guess you're right," she grumbled, fidgeting with her fingers. "I can't show the boys how distressed I am, can I?"

  "Of course not. Pack it up, babe, you're the best mom of the world. And you know they love their dad."

  "Yeah, they defend him even against me."

  "Why, do you have complaints?"

  "I'd love it if he gave them more of his time, but I'm aware he's very busy. I mean, he's a bank manager, and it's a good position, but hell, he's never home anymore!"

  "You planned it all together," Amy reminded her with a smile. "You can't blame him if he has a career. Just stay by his side and keep cool, okay?"

  ***

  Keith always tried to keep his problems out of his profession, but that Monday morning it was very hard not to think about the past weekend. Friday had gone from bad to worse. Saturday had been surreal, with Harith meeting a younger man and then not going to the club and saying he needed time to think. That was uncharacteristic of Harith, who usually did things without thinking – like telling him he'd had a quickie at the gym.

  And then Sunday Harith had vanished for most of the day, and now he was trying a nine-to-five job, dressing business casual, to help the manager of their bank. And he kept sleeping on the couch. Something must be very wrong with him, and his new quiet upset Keith more than any other behavior. He'd missed their Sunday jog and exercising in the park with Harith. He'd gone alone, and it wasn't the same thing.

  He really needed to talk to Harith and pick his mind about what he wanted to do – with himself, them as a couple, his life. He wasn't really the jealous type, but Harith's admission had stung. And now Harith seemed all set to help a bank manager, oblivious to his own failing marriage. Okay, that was very Harith, who sometimes was so self-absorbed he forgot everything else, but still...

  The sudden distance between Keith and his life partner hurt and clenched his stomach. He took a bite of his sandwich and left the rest, unable to eat due to the obsessive thoughts about what was going on in Harith's head. Sometimes he really wished he could be a telepath – he loved and accepted Harith for who he was, in spite of the differences in their cultures, but sometimes reading Harith's mind would be very handy.

  He had to be patient if he wanted to save his marriage. He knew Harith loved him in his own twisted way. He decided to wait until Harith was willing to talk and discuss what was going on – useless prodding might make things worse.

  5.

  Harith wasn't completely stupid, and he tried to find Ciaran's work interesting. But finance bored him, so he was relieved to have a lunch break and talk about something else. Ciaran was very eager to hear how his children were doing, so he talked about Colin and Hugh.

  Ciaran listened intently, then sighed. "I wish we could switch back," he said. "I'm sure things would work out fine with our spouses after this."

  "You mean you'd sleep with your wife again?" Harith asked, surprised. He missed Keith, but thought Ciaran had enough of Charlene.

  Ciaran stared in the distance. "I don't know. Probably. At least she's not a man."

  "Is there any oral sex in your household?" Harith asked.

  "Some," Ciaran grumbled, embarrassed.

  "And who's better, me or her?" Harith insisted, amused.

  "Harith!" Ciaran growled. "Shut up!"

  Harith chuckled. "It wouldn't really be me, but you could ask Keith to blow you if you want a third option."

  Ciaran looked daggers at him. "Harith, I'm not having sex with your body," he said through clenched teeth.

  Harith leaned towards him over the table. "You know, Ciaran, you should try men someday. They're not that bad," he whispered with a wink.

  "Thanks, but no thanks," Ciaran grumbled. "Just leave my arse alone, will you?"

  "Well, technically it's mine at the moment, and it has enjoyed dicks for years," Harith replied, amused. It was funny watching his face flush with color. He'd never been really embarrassed in his life, so it was interesting seeing someone else doing it – with his face.

  "Don't you dare use mine," Ciaran said, his voice shaky. "Or I'll tell Keith I cheated on him again and he'll file for divorce."

  Harith put his hands on his cheek in mock horror. "You wouldn't!"

  It was Ciaran's turn to lean forward. "Trust me, I would. And stop that little game of yours with Jim, if I ever get back into my body, he'll get the wrong idea."

  "But he knows we're switched! I'd love if he came looking for me when we switch back!"

  "Keith is right, you have no idea what marriage means." Ciaran averted his eyes with a frown.

  "I do! I love him! But I'm not blind either!"

  "And he loves you, even if you're so self-centered I wonder what he sees in you."

  "Well, I'm gorgeous."

  "I'm sure it's not why he married you. You could have had anyone. Why did you choose him?"

  Harith opened his mouth, then closed it, pondering. Why indeed? Because Keith made him feel safe and protected. Because Keith was a father figure, but also a brother and mostly a lover. Because Keith put some sense in his head, and lots of feelings.

  Harith sighed. He missed Keith's voice, Keith's touch, their intimacy, their house. "Why did you marry your wife?" he asked, feeling a lump in his throat.

  "Because I loved her," Ciaran replied. "And she's still the mother of my children, so we'll stick together for their sake. But you – you don't have kids. Why do you stick to Keith if you want to explore?"

  Harith pursed his lips and blinked, unable to look Ciaran in the eyes. "It's just a game," he said, depressed. "I like watching other guys. But I still want to spend the rest of my life with Keith."

  Ciaran nodded, thoughtful.

  "Hi guys!" A girl greeted them cheerfully. Harith noticed Ciaran was startled to see her. "How are you doing?"

  "Not so good, thank you," Harith replied, annoyed. "Friend of yours?" he asked Ciaran.

  "Not really. She babysat Colin and Hugh, and goes to their school on Tuesdays," Ciaran answered, embarrassed. "I took her to the Desi Boys Magik Club last Friday, so I guess she knows you as well."

  "Yes, I know both of you," she smiled. "And I know you don't remember women's names, so I'm Samantha."

  "Of course, Samantha," Ciaran said.

  She grinned at him. "The real Harith would never remember a woman's name. I'm sure he can't tell Colin and Hugh's mother's name."

  "Of course, it's Charlize," Harith said.

  "That's the actress." Ciaran glared at him. "It's Charlene."

  "Oh. Right. How do you..." Both looked for Samantha, but she had vanished. "Where did she go?" Harit
h asked, puzzled.

  "I don't know. She sounded like she knew we are switched." Ciaran frowned, pondering.

  "True... but how does she know? How does she know both of us?"

  "I told you, I took her to the Desi Boys Magik Club after she babysat for us. And she has no cell phone, no family name... quite a mystery, honestly. Perhaps she really is a witch."

  "A witch? So she might have switched us? How do we make her reverse the spell?"

  "Who knows? If it was her in the first place..."

  Harith shook his head, unconvinced. It was time to go back to work, though, and both left the open-air cafe to go back to the bank.

  ***

  Keith saw Harith's call on his cell phone, but couldn't answer. He finished the visit, then told the nurse he needed five minutes and went back to his office to call back Harith.

  "Keith!" He sounded breathless. "I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't call you at work..."

  "Where are you?"

  "At work too, but I locked myself in the bathroom. This life is impossible, I want to come home!"

  "Well, just come home. You don't need to kill yourself for a friend, you know?"

  "What? Oh, no, I need to do this..." His voice sounded different on the phone, but it was definitely him. "Janoo-ie, I miss you... Kya kahoon?"

  "Honey, you know I don't speak Hindi, so stop that," Keith snapped. "I need to go now, I'll see you tonight, okay?"

  "No, you won't..." Harith sounded tearful, and he hung up.

  "What? Harith!" Too late. That was a weird phone call. He tried to call back, but the cell phone was switched off. Cursing under his breath, Keith went back to work.

  Harith looked oblivious when he arrived home. And distant, like he'd been since Saturday morning. And silent, and unable to look him in the eyes. Icy Harith was even worse than Vain Harith. Keith wanted Cuddly Harith back – the one that had called him and then vanished into the ether. If he didn't have the record of the calls, he'd think he'd dreamed the brief conversation.

  "Did you call me today?" Keith asked as they ate.

  "Huh? No, it was my evil twin," Harith replied with a shrug. "Stole my phone and played a prank on you."

  "It wasn't funny. I don't know what's wrong with you lately, but I don't like it," Keith warned.

  "I'm sorry, I'm not really myself right now," Harith apologized. "You'll have to bear with me for a little longer. The weirdness will pass, I promise. I'm working on it."

  Keith shook his head, incredulous. "I'm very patient, but you're straining my patience lately. What are you really up to?"

  "Trying to put some order into my life." Harith's green eyes stared at him. "I'm sorry, Keith, please, bear with me for a little longer. I don't want to lose you."

  But he made no move forward, not even with his hands. His mouth said it, but his body was stiff and still, not searching for him like he usually did. Maybe he had developed a split personality?

  "Harith, I might be a pediatrician, but I know some very good psychologists, if you think you need help," Keith said, a little worried.

  "Thanks, but I think I can handle it," Harith replied, determined. "Just give me time."

  Keith surrendered with a sigh.

  ***

  Harith was breaking down. Ciaran was mad at him for his phone call, and Harith wanted to bang his head on the wall and put an end to his misery. Luckily there were Colin and Hugh to keep him busy. But the hours at the bank went so slow, he begged Ciaran to take the rest of the week off. He could handle Ciaran's family, but not Ciaran's job.

  Finally, Wednesday at five he managed to convince Ciaran that the bank wouldn't close down if he took some days off. He had his cell phone, so could be reached anyway, and it would actually be Ciaran taking the calls. Harith could be a dad for a few days, but they really needed to figure out what had happened and how to undo the switch. Which they couldn't figure out if they spent so many hours in a stupid bank.

  Jim waved good-bye, telling them not to worry, and Ciaran took him back to his house. They'd meet again the next morning, but later in the day, so Ciaran could walk the boys to school for a change and let Charlene sleep a little longer.

  Harith felt relieved and was quite happy to tell Charlene and the kids he had taken the rest of the week off. Charlene looked hopeful, but she didn't say anything in front of the children. Tomorrow would probably be hard again, but for tonight Harith felt calmer.

  He actually looked forward to playing the father. He loved children, and it just hadn't occurred to him he could be a coach for a Little League team. If he ever returned to his body, he'd offer his expertise to Colin's team.

  Ajay called to ask how he was doing, and he took the call outside the house so the kids and Charlene wouldn't hear him speak Hindi.

  "I need a few more days," he told his friend. "And Jayanta can be the main stripper again this weekend, I'm afraid."

  "Boss is thinking of hiring a real hijra," Ajay warned. "Apparently he found one in Punjab who is even more beautiful than you, and is very eager to move here."

  "Oh." Harith shrugged. "Keith doesn't like The Hijra anyway. I think I'm going to coach a kids' team."

  "What? Are you out of your mind?"

  "No. I'm a professional baseball player. Retired. What's wrong with becoming a coach? You should see those kids – there's this eight-year-old kid, he plays up against nine- and ten-year-old boys and has a great potential!"

  "Where did you meet him?" Ajay wondered.

  "Long story." Harith sighed. "Got to go. I'll call you when I'm ready to come back to the gym... and the club..."

  ***

  Ciaran was checking his email on Harith's laptop when the Skype incoming call filled the screen. Startled, he glanced at Keith. He couldn't tell who the caller was.

  "Er... is this for me?" He turned the laptop towards Keith who was reading in the armchair next to him.

  Keith stared at him as if he had grown a second head. "It's your mother, Harith."

  "Shit," Ciaran whispered. He had forgotten to log Harith off. He stared helplessly at the screen. How could he fool Harith's mother?

  "Are you going to answer or what?" Keith asked.

  "I... I can't talk to her." Ciaran put down the laptop on the low table in front of him, jumping up. He rushed to the bathroom, panicking. He took his cell phone with him and called Harith.

  "What am I supposed to do?" he asked. "I mean, she'd know I'm not you!"

  "Log me off," Harith said. "I'll log in from your computer and shut the webcam off, so she won't be able to see me."

  "Okay." But when he went back to the living room, Keith had taken the call and was talking to Harith's mother.

  "Here he is," Keith said.

  Ciaran exhaled and went to sit near Keith.

  Harith's mother was a very beautiful woman who smiled when she saw him. "Kaisa hai tu, mere bacche?" she greeted.

  "Namaste," he muttered in reply. That was the only word of Hindi he knew, so when she continued talking in Hindi, he just kept his mouth shut and his eyes low. Keith elbowed him, but he didn't move.

  "You're right, Keith, he's very strange," the woman said. "It looks like someone has done some jadoo-tona on him – he doesn't understand his mother tongue anymore."

  Right, I don't! Ciaran thought. "Can I call you back later?" he asked, wondering what time it was in India.

  "Okay, Beta, I'll wait for your call. Papa and Munni and Raja too send their love to you," she said, and ended the call.

  Ciaran winced and logged off Skype. "What time is it in India?" he asked.

  "You know they're eleven hours ahead of us," Keith answered, still staring at him as if he had horns or wings or who knew what.

  "Right, sorry. Boy, I'm soo tired... I really need some sleep!" He switched off the laptop and stretched his limbs, yawning theatrically.

  Keith understood the clue – he averted his eyes and went to the bedroom without turning back.

  Ciaran sighed. "Sorry, Keith," he grumbled.
/>   He liked the pediatrician, but not enough to sleep with him.

  6.

  Harith didn't mind waking up early and walking the boys to school. But then he had to go back and wait for Ciaran. This meant that he had to face Charlene. When he returned, she was there, drinking coffee and staring at him.

  "Do you want me to clean the kitchen?" he offered, not knowing what to do with his hands. "Make the bed?"

  "No," she answered. "I might go back to bed if you do everything else today."

  "Well, I'm going out with a friend soon, we have to figure out a couple of things, but I'll be back by the time the boys come out of school," he promised.

  "What kind of friend is that?" she inquired, frowning.

  "His name is Harith, he's a former athlete who could coach the boys' Little League if he managed to make up his mind and stop fooling around." Harith grimaced, but thought it was a pretty accurate description of himself. "He's married, and... he's been unfaithful," he added, hanging his head.

  "So that's what ties you both," she said, skeptical. "Where did you meet him?"

  "Er... at the bank. And I haven't been unfaithful, I only fell out of love," he said, remembering what Ciaran had told him about his situation.

  "You fell out of love because you met someone," she snapped.

  "But I didn't touch her," he insisted. "Harith did it with someone else. It was a quickie, something completely stupid of him, and he regretted it the morning after."

  "I sure hope he hasn't told his wife," Charlene commented sourly.

  "Actually, he did." Harith sighed. Blame it on his tongue and his conscience and whatnot. He should have kept his mouth shut, then Keith would have never known, and he'd still be with him.

  "I hope she kicked him out."

  "You didn't kick me out, demanding custody of the children."

  "No, but I'm thinking about it."

  "Oh, boy, don't. Everything will be all right," he pleaded. "Just give me a few more days, will you? We'll figure this out. I promise."

  She put down her mug and walked to him, putting her arms around his neck. He stiffened, which made her smile ruefully.

  "And how do you plan to overcome this disgust you have developed over me?" she asked, pushing her breasts against his chest. Harith gasped and tried hard not to slide out of her embrace. He didn't think Ciaran would want him to do that. And he respected the mother of the two lovely kids. But the sex part... he had tried once already and could tell it hadn't been good for either of them. She must be very in love to keep coming at him.